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About Deviant AdamMale/United States Group :iconbroken-brook: BRoken-BRook
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Bendikkas Romance Part 2
The family was gathered together into the kitchen, eating some dinner, thou the children hadn't shown up for dinner. But that was to be expected.
"Max, this Loch Ness Lasagna is delicious." Rook Blonko declared, as he hungrily ate up another green, oozing chunk of plant life.
"It's so nice and gamy." Argit said scarfing some himself.
Grandpa Max beamed with pride, happy to have pleased the family with his cooking.
"Hmmm~ You've added something different..." Bendikkas said as he chewed thoughtfully. "What is it. Eye of newt, ear of Ox?"
"Nope. Tofu!" Max said proudly.
Everyone froze, some of their eyes twitched as they still had the food in their mouths, and they all pushed their plates away to Max's dismay.
The kids come downstairs, Renoir, Ergho, Devlin and Bailey. Bailey and Ergho were covered with dirt.
"Children, we haven't seen you all day," Vanessa remarked. "Where have you been hiding yourselves?"
"I was digging a tunnel with Ergho's help." Bailey said as she shook dirt out of h
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Bendikkas Romance-Addams Family Parody part 1
It was all started in the living room of the Rook Family Mansion. Everyone was gathered around Ben and Blonko, who were dressed in their fine clothing, Ben in his green, silk, button up shirt with bone buttons, and dress pants. Rook was dressed in his long sleeved, blue sweater with a white skull painted on the front, and his Capri pants, torn and clawed at with them both seated on the couch.
"Happy 13th Anniversary!" Vanessa proclaimed, wearing gold scorpion bracelets, a blood red dress with black spider-web stitching on it.
She handed a gift to Ben, who accepted it.
"Thank you, Vanessa." Ben thanked her, as he unwrapped the gift.
He opened it. And revealed a sexy looking black negligee, which he held up with a appeasing look.
"Oh, Vanessa, how lovely." Ben chuckled lightly.
Khyber, holding a tray with bottle of Ghoul Sprool Wine, looked in Vanessa's direction with a amused smile.
"Actually, it's more of a present for Blonko." Vanessa said winking at Ben.
Ben grinned slyly, as he look
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Commission-Kiss the Cook by bbb35 Commission-Kiss the Cook :iconbbb35:bbb35 16 7 Angel Face Devil's Heart by bbb35 Angel Face Devil's Heart :iconbbb35:bbb35 11 14 Luffia Saves her Friends-jmkplover by bbb35 Luffia Saves her Friends-jmkplover :iconbbb35:bbb35 11 8 Vanessas as a Mermaid hazumonster by bbb35 Vanessas as a Mermaid hazumonster :iconbbb35:bbb35 8 9
Apple Wilkes-MLP Misery Parody
MLP: Apple Misery
A Dark and Depraved Idea
By Ethan Samerdyke, with help from Adam Costello

Ethan didn’t know what it was that made him wake up, but it was something, a sudden sense of deep-seated unease. 
He sat up, feeling his heart skip and a sharp twinge of pain run through his legs and up his waist. A gasp slipped out of his mouth, and he scrambled for his narrow-frame glasses on the bedside table. 
He slipped them on haphazardly, hurriedly adjusted them as one arm of the glasses snagged on his long hair. Ethan pulled his eye wear up and into place, and his vision cleared enough to see Applejack standing before the foot of the bed. 
He'd been impressed by the farm woman’s size before, and scared during her outburst earlier in the day... but now that bout of sudden rage from before seemed almost quaint.
Applejack seemed to loom over him like a vengeful giant. Her green eyes burned beneath the brim of her Stetson, staring int
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jmkplover-Far Side Parody What happened to the dog by bbb35 jmkplover-Far Side Parody What happened to the dog :iconbbb35:bbb35 6 6
Noex The White Dove
Rex didn't know how, or why he was in this situation. All he knew was that before he was five years old, his jerk big brother Caesar got caught in a big storm out on the ocean. And then, this totally hot babe, with long black hair, purple eyes and a strange, red necklace appears, sailing in a dough trough. She promised him a safe return to home, but only if he gave her Rex. And the jerk did it, just like that!
Well, now Rex was gonna just thank her, on hearing she saved his brother, but learning Caesar sold him to the Bruja, for what else could she be? He was outright resistant to the idea, but Vanessa, as she told him her name, said that there was nothing for it. It was a unbreakable deal, and Caesar promised. And it was either Rex comes with her, or she turns his kingdom into a portion of the ocean, and everyone but Rex into fishes.
Oh, did Rex forget to mention he's a prince? Even bigger indignation.
And he was put into a dough trough, and taken to a island far, far out In the gulf.
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Commission Price Sheet-by JackalyenMystique by bbb35 Commission Price Sheet-by JackalyenMystique :iconbbb35:bbb35 4 9 Dark Spectre Queen What a lovely little bride by bbb35 Dark Spectre Queen What a lovely little bride :iconbbb35:bbb35 14 4
When the teens agreed to help clean up Leo Valdez's family farm, they didn't expect anything out of the ordinary. Leo had inherited the Farm in the will of his great grandfather, and wanted to have help to clean it up. So he could make it into a bed and breakfast, or a place for Demi-Gods on the road could stop for a respite.
Annabeth and Percy agreed to help, and they were offered assistance from Percy's Half-Sister, The Dark Spectre Queen of the Ocean, Vanessa. Who better then a immortal sorceress to help tidy up?
And Hazel came with her boyfriend Frank, since Hazel had known Leo's Great Grandfather Sammy Valdez during her original lifetime. So, everyone hunkered down, bought cleaning supplies, wood, hammer nails, pouches of magic dust. (That was Vanessa) and soon already had a great deal of the property tidied up on the first day.
Vanessa, Frank, Leo, Annabeth and Percy were inside finishing up in the kitchen, as hazel went outside to salvage the outhouse when suddenly.
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Brooken Request Cheesy pick up lines
Rook and Ben go out for Smoothes. Rook lets Ben order for them while he gets them a booth. Just before Ben sits down, Rooks points to his lap and asks if this seat is taken.
When Rook came to Earth, he didn't expect a lot, and yet a lot happened to him. And a lot of it came in the wonderful, beautiful, crazy, awesome, brave and kind package that was Ben Tennyson. At least, that's how Ben often described himself, a package.
So, of course, Ben often used idioms, puns, and so forth. And Rook realized he was feeling a little left out. For once, he wanted to use the puns, and so forth. And have floundering for a response. So, he took some lessons from his pal Jerry, who had experience with a human lover. And with some online searching, he felt he was ready, when the time called, to wow Ben with his pick up lines.
The two stopped on bye Mr. Smoothies as they were returning from a mission, and Rook told Ben to order for them as he got them a booth.
Rook waited as Ben came over, and sat do
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Lady Despair by Hazumonster by bbb35 Lady Despair by Hazumonster :iconbbb35:bbb35 7 2 Dark Spectre Queen of the Universe Vanessa hazumon by bbb35 Dark Spectre Queen of the Universe Vanessa hazumon :iconbbb35:bbb35 7 8
Cronus Keystroke Part 2
Theresa barely knew where they were going, they rushed through the Ocean, so quickly, and then were bursting out of a tide pool in the Dark Spectre Queen's lighthouse. The bubble around Theresa's head burst, leaving her face partially dry, but the rest of her sopping wet.
Theresa's body shook from the change of pressure, yet felt a buzz in the air that helped her body re-adjust, and knew the place was thick with magical energy so anything could survive. Even at the bottom of the sea.
And Theresa saw a familiar figure walking towards her, "Cronus, what a surprise."
Theresa snorted sarcastically.
"Cute friends you have.." Theresa said looking at the Telekhine.
The Dog Face creatures growled viciously at Theresa's comment, but Vanessa laughed, as snapped her fingers. Causing a pair of shackled cuffs appear on Theresa's wrists.
"I agree, they are adorable, aren't they?" Vanessa whispered into Theresa's ears, her webbing receding so she could run her fingers through Theresa's red hair.
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The family was gathered together into the kitchen, eating some dinner, thou the children hadn't shown up for dinner. But that was to be expected.

"Max, this Loch Ness Lasagna is delicious." Rook Blonko declared, as he hungrily ate up another green, oozing chunk of plant life.

"It's so nice and gamy." Argit said scarfing some himself.

Grandpa Max beamed with pride, happy to have pleased the family with his cooking.

"Hmmm~ You've added something different..." Bendikkas said as he chewed thoughtfully. "What is it. Eye of newt, ear of Ox?"

"Nope. Tofu!" Max said proudly.

Everyone froze, some of their eyes twitched as they still had the food in their mouths, and they all pushed their plates away to Max's dismay.

The kids come downstairs, Renoir, Ergho, Devlin and Bailey. Bailey and Ergho were covered with dirt.

"Children, we haven't seen you all day," Vanessa remarked. "Where have you been hiding yourselves?"

"I was digging a tunnel with Ergho's help." Bailey said as she shook dirt out of her hair.

Bailey said coming to sit next to Grandpa Max along with Ergho.

"I was trying to seal them in..." Renoir said with a sinister smirk.

"And I was bludgeoning him with a shovel to stop." Devlin said tossing aside a dented shovel.

"Our children, so productive." Rook said proudly as Devlin and Renoir sat next to him and Ben.

"Daddy, Papa, are you gonna tell us the rest of the story of how you two met?" Bailey asked.

"Did you change the bat boxes, put away the maces and clean your rooms?" Ester asked.

Bailey looks at Ergho conspiratorially, who winks at her causing the girls fur to darken.

"yes." They said.

Renoir and Devlin nod, kicking each other in the shin as sign of secret affection.

"Blonko?" Ben asked Rook, who obviously knew the kids were lying.

"Sure, why not." Rook said with a happy grin, rubbing Ben's hand affectionately.

"Well, your fathers and Jennifer's wedding day was drawing near." Ben said with a ominous tone.

"So, we knew we had to think of something fast." Rook said with a serious expression.


The basement dungeon of the mansion, 13 years ago.

Rook, Ben, Argit, Gwen, Albedo and Shar paced around the room.

"I've got it!" Argit said.

Everyone stopped to look at Argit in anticipation.

"Let's Knock off Jennifer!" Argit said wickedly.

"Excellent idea, I'll go get the rack." Albedo said, only for a mana wall to appear as he turned and knocking him on his butt.

"NO!" Gwen shouts.

"Guys, I don't want any harm to come to Jennifer, she is family, and my cousin after all." Ben said.

"And...?" The boys asked after a pause.

"You do LIKE Jennifer, don't you?" Ben asked in concern.

"Oh, it's not that she's not a nice girl." Rook said.

"When fully medicated." Gwen drawled.

"She's sweet." Ben said.

"A Doll." Shar states.

"A Angel. I JUST CAN'T STAND HER!!" Rook fumed.

"We're with you on that." Argit said.

"So, why doesn't Blonko just tell her that?" Albedo said.

"Are you mad!?" Bendikkas said. "Not that it's not a lovely quality, but you saw how Jennifer acted when Blonko said he wasn't marry her willingly, and wasn't gonna go on a honeymoon with her and such.

"She was on the verge of suicide, she's done this before, and nearly succeeded." Gwen said. "She's very emotionally unstable, and we try not to upset her."

"Really very caring, we just let her THINK That's she's the darling of the family, or better then me. Because...well, the last time Ben stood up to her and took the spotlight." Gwen shuddered. "It wasn't pretty."

"Even by our standards." Ben said.

Everyone passed around, frustrated.

"Wait!" Shar then spoke up. "Why not send her to Revonnah, have her experience our culture, maybe marry a distant cousin. Working on the fields might do her some good!"

"Shar, we can't do that!" Gwen said.

"Gwendolyn is right." Bendikkas said.

"It wouldn't be fair to the other Rook family members." Gwen said dryly, causing Bendikkas to give her an admonishing frown.

“Poor Jennifer, all she wants is to be married,” Bendikkas woefully said.

Gwen’s eyes widened as an idea popped into her delightfully twisted mind. “And I know just the guy!” she exclaimed.

At Bendikkas’ and Blonko’s expectant looks, Gwen grinned evilly and answered, “Cousin Deefus!”

Meanwhile, Vanessa was just getting off the phone and breaking some bad news to Verdona.

“That was the minister,” Vanessa explained. “One of his exorcisms went into overtime, so we have to put the wedding off another day.”

Verdona smiled before smiling acceptingly as she said, “Well, at least he has a good excuse.”

“All these flowers, these new curtains, the paint…Verdona, your granddaughter is destroying my house!” Vanessa whined.

As Khyber approached carrying a tray with two glasses of sizzling, blood red, smoking wine, Vanessa gestured to her poor adopted son dressed all in white. “And look what she’s done to Khyber!” Vanessa added.

Khyber, bless him, maintained a look of calm and disinterest for the sake of their guests, but Vanessa could see deep within him that he was struggling not to scream and tear the overly starched, pure white suit from his body. Vanessa made a note to herself to draw him a nice mid bath later that night.

Back in the basement, Bendikkas and Blonko were too wrapped up in each other to notice a 6’7” tall lump of sentient sludge wearing a fedora and designer shades enter, followed by Gwen.

“Will you two break it up?” Gwen called out. “We have to introduce Cousin Deefus to Witch Hilda…er, I mean, introduce Cousin Deefus to the woman of his dreams!”

Blonko and Bendikkas pulled out of each other’s arms and turned to Deefus and Gwen.

“Cousin Deefus! Thanks for coming!” Blonko said appreciatively.

Deefus garbled out a, “Your welcome.”

“Bendikkas, this is Cousin Deefus,” Blonko introduced, gesturing to Deefus as he did. “Cousin Deefus, this is Bendikkas.”

Deefus garbled out a flirtatious, “It’s a pleasure. Have you two ‘tied the knot’ yet?” as he kissed Bendikkas’ hand.

“Mr. Deefus, please!” Bendikkas gasped out, insulted. “We just met.”

Deefus garbled out a suggestive, “It’s not too late, then, to get with a real man; I promise I’ll leave you wet and begging for more.

“THAT DOES IT!” Blonko roared as he rolled up his sleeves and stepped protectively in front of Bendikkas, blocking Deefus’ view of him. He then snatched off Deefus’ fedora and hammer-fisted him right on the top of his head, causing a splash of sludge to go every which way.

“Oh, Blonko, stop!” Bendikkas insisted, pulling Blonko away and using a handkerchief to wipe away the sludge stains on Blonko’s shirt.

“That’ll teach you to make a play for my Bendikkas, you gloopy lech!” Blonko barked out.

Shar, Argit and Albedo hurried into the room, Albedo covered in scorch marks.

"What is going on in here!?" Shar exclaimed. "Brother, such awful, reckless use of contractions! Our mother would bury herself alive at hearing such language!"

"Sorry, that's kinda my fault," Gwen said. "I brought Cousin Deefus down here before explaining things. Also, he was being his usual flirty self."

Blonko harrumphed, nostrils flaring, before sniffing in confusion.

"Albedo, why are you reeking of burnt flesh?" Blonko asked in confusion.

"Oh, I was showing off my gasoline collection and I think there was a leak," Albedo said as he coughed up smoke. "Cause when Shar was demonstrating how to create a spark from flint stones, I was engulfed." He grins wickedly. "It was awesome."

Gwen shook her head.

"Blonko, Deefus, if you two could restrain yourselves?" Gwen asked.

Sorry, Dude. I didn't realize you were so hot for the fleshy, I'll back off.” Deefus garbled, as he sucked up his loose mucus.

"You see, brother? Cousin Deefus said he was sorry." Shar said.

"You understood that gabble-dee-gook?" Argit said astonished.

"Besides, you want Deefus to take Jennifer off your hands, don't you?" Gwen whispered lowly to Blonko,  so only he could hear.

"You will have to understand," Blonko said in apology, handing back the fedora. "When it comes to my Beloved, I can't control myself."

Blonko wrapped his arms around Bendikkas, who smiled at the sweet gesture.

I am sorry for trying to come between you two, lovebirds.” Deefus slurped.

"Apology accepted." Bendikkas said.

"Good, because I was not cleaning the after mess," Shar said. "Even if it was lovely up the room."

"Besides, we didn't call you here to hit on Bendikkas. It's my OTHER cousin, Jennifer." Gwen said to Deefus.

Deefus face morphed into a question mark.

What's wrong with her?” Deefus slured and warbled.

"There's nothing wrong with her," Bendikkas said in defensive tone.

"How he says THAT with a straight face I don't know.." Argit whispered to Albedo, who nods.

Well, can you give me the deets on this little filly?” Deefus gurgled.

"Well, she's got a great personality," Gwen said turning to pretend to cough. "And multiple ones."

Deefus didn't hear her.

I should warn you, I'm not a chubby chaser.” Deefus slurred and squished.

"She is not fat!" Rook said in offense. "And thou I do not know 'why' I'm defending her..." Rook mumbles te last part.

Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regret this?” Deefus said in a series of fart and bubble sounds.

"Cousin Deefus, trust us. You're REALLY going to like her." Gwen told him reassuringly.

Bendikkas, Rook and Shar nod in agreement, but when Deefus turns around, they look at each other and grimace in concern.


In the main living room, Jennifer was twirling around happily, obviously because her dosage was upped. And because she was holding a lovely, white, wedding gown to herself as she danced and sang in a gay tune. Grandpa Max and Grandma Verdona watching, Max humming in a pensive way, Verdona herself even seemed to be frustrated with her Granddaughter. her eyes pinched tight, and arms crossed with one hand up in the air, fingers tightly clenched in tension.

Deefus, Rook, Gwen, Bendikkas, Shar, Argit and Albedo walked into the room, flinching at the sight of the bright, white, wedding dress.

"I can see she is not going to wear traditional Revonnaghander garb for the ceremony," Shar huffed in annoyance.

"Isn't it beautiful?!" Jennifer asked, her voice causing Verdona and Max to jerk in agitation.

"Oh, I wish I could wear a wedding dress EVERY day." Jennifer exclaimed. Verdona forced a smile, with her eyes still shut, and Max cracked a half-grin at his granddaughter.

Oh No...” Deefus garbled as he turned to leave, only for Gwen to erect a mana wall to block him.

"Please, Cousin Deefus, give her a chance." Gwen said as Blonko nods with a almost, desperate look on his face.

Deefus let out a sigh, or a fart, and turns to look at Jennifer with her Grandparents.

"Nana, do you think this wedding dress make my ankles look thick?" Jennifer asked, slipping out her foot to show it from under the wedding dress.

"Not anymore then the other Sixteen dresses you've tried on." Verdona said in a exasperated tone, fluffing her hair in a sign of growing stress.

Deefus walked over toward the trio, and Deefus laid on the charm thick as....well, his bodily composition.

I must say, I was looking for the bride to be. But it appears I've glanced upon the radiant sun itself.” Deefus garbled in his suavest tone.

He took Jennifer's hand, who oddly wasn't repulsed, and leaned over to kiss the back of it.

"Ooooooh! Aren't you a adorable Manly-Mud-buff!" Jennifer cooed.

And this is obviously your younger sister here.” Deefus squished and garbled to Verdona, who let out her usual cackle, waving bashfully at Deefus.

Grandfather Max, always a pleasure to bask in your wonderful, charming, debonair self.” Deefus remarked to Max, who smiled, seemingly relieved to see Deefus.

"Always a pleasure." Grandpa Max chuckled.

"Jennifer, I see you've met our Cousin Deefus, well," Bendikkas looks back to Rook. "He's more closely related to Blonko's side, via Vanessa, he's quite charming, don't you think?"

Jennifer gave Deefus the once over with her eye, a smile forming on her lips.

I had to come when Gwendolyn asked me to the party, I know thousands of hearts will be wrenched when your married, fair Jennifer.” Deefus garbled, earning a tittering sound of flattery from Jennifer.

Seeing how Jennifer was being wooed, the others knew it was time to drizzle on the icing for the cake, so to speak.

"Ah, those 'Multi-millionaires'" Rook said in mock absent minded tone. "They do say the most extremely enchanting things."

Jennifer looked impressed with that statement, Max's eyes brightened up in understanding, thou Verdona seemed guarded on hearing that.

"I guess it's all that 'jet-setting around the world' all those 'star-studded parties' that keep the mind so, razor sharp." Argit said in agreement.

"Yes, our Deefus, he started out as a humble, commercial star, then he was doing staged events in the streets. Earning millions of dollars and fans in one fell swoop." Grandpa Max added in, seeing what was going on and eager to help.

"'Multi-Millionaires, Jet-setting?' Jennifer asked in gleeful surprise.

If only I could take you on those trips, I'm sure I'd be the everyone was staring at thou it would really be because you were on my arm.” Deefus stated to Jennifer's delight.

"Oh, Blonko!" Jennifer called out in sing-song voice, causing Blonko to stiffen a little.

"You'd better be nice to me," Jennifer said putting a arm around Deefus shoulder to walk out the room. "Or your cousin just might steal me away."

The two left the room, causing Ben, Blonko, Shar, Gwen, Argit and Albedo to grin brightly in joy.

"Really?" Blonko said in joyful disbelief.

Verdona soon put a stop to that.

"Don't worry, Rook. I'll see to it that you and Jennifer get married, if it's the last thing I do." Verdona said before letting out her, echoing, grating laughter.

Blonko's smile dropped, Gwen face palmed in disbelief, as Max frowed deeply, Albedo, Argit and Shar looked pensive and bendikkas. Well, Bendikkas was frowning, and narrowing his eyes at his Grandmother like he was planning some gruesome 'inccident' to befall her immediately afterwards.


In another room of the mansion, a parlor it seemed, which was currently being 'redecorated' Verdona was sitting in a chair, relaxing as she held a wine glass with a smoking, bubbling, green liquid inside of it. And her feet were inside a bucket of water, that was sparking, and letting out jolts of electricity.

Max was shown, holding what looked like a squid, in one hand and a knife in the other. The squid was held over a nice clean tablecloth, and gutting it open so it's innards fell on the pristine, white cloth covered table.

"Ooooooh there is NOTHING like soaking in a bucket of electric eels to get the circulation going." Verdona moaned happily, head leaning back with her eyes shut.

Max shook his head with a chuckle, as Vanessa was seen speaking into a blood red phone, the receiver looking like a demon with large horns for the phone cradle.

"Right..." Vanessa said slamming the phone onto the receiver.

She stomps up and over to Verdona, looking in Max's direction with agitation obvious in her movements.

"That darn minister put off the wedding again." Vanessa huffed. "Apparently, he got roped into one of those 'cult ceremonies' and has to marry five hundred people."

Vanessa clasped her hands together, shaking her head woefully, as Max shrugged in 'what can you do' manner.

Verdona just shifted herself in bored manner, shaking off the news with a wave of her hand.

"Well, as long as he hurries." Verdona said. "I want to get Jennifer married off, before getting started on Bendikkas and Michael's wedding."

A loud thunk sound was heard as Max's knife flew through the air, shattering Verdona's glass as it impaled the nearby wall. Verdona startled, and looked at Max in distress shock, who shook his head and pointed to Vanessa. Who's body was glowing with a dark, purple aura.

"I'm sorry...." Vanessa said cracking her neck loudly. "Did you say 'bendikkas in...Michael Morningstar?!?"

The floor around Vanessa was becoming covered in ice, and the windows seemed to be rattling, like wind was gusting against it.

"Well, yes, we agreed, one relative each from our families, would marry one from the other, so to unite our blood.

"But I thought that was just Blonko and Jennifer, why, and HOW did you think that included, Michael!?" Vanessa asked, clenching her fists tightly, as green blood spilled, hissing and eating through the floor.

Verdona blinked, obviously confused.

"It was in the deal, we agreed to two marriages. Your Godson, and your 'blood son' to two of my grandchildren." Verdona said. "I thought you knew, did you assume it was gonna be ONE marriage!?"

Max walked over to Verdona, and seemed ready to defend her as the room shook, and furniture started to float into the air as Vanesa's eyes glowed bright, neon purple.

"Let me get this straight, your marrying Bendikkas to MY Deadbeat son, Michael Morningstar, aka Darkstar!?" Vanessa's voice became warped, distorted with her growing anger.

"Yes, it was in the contract we signed." Verdona said. "Unless death claims one of the intended, there would be TWO marriages."

Vanessa continued, as if she didn't hear Verdona.

"That energy sucking, sociphatic, scumball. Mister Love them and leave for dead," Vanessa continued in her demon voice.

"Uh-uh." Verdona nods.

"People's Magazine's Shiftiest Man alive, or Dead!?" Vanessa rasped as her teeth became fangs, and flames began to shoot out.

Well, what can I say, I have a real knack for 'match making'," Verdona said proud of herself. "Ahahahahahaha!"

Veronda was cut off, as Vanessa grabbed Verdona's face, and RIPPED off her skin.

Of course, there was no blood, or gore. Because it was just a 'body suit' literally, as Verdona was a creature of pure mana. And under her skin was a purple body form, with hair made of pink light, who looked up at a furious Vanessa in shock, and a little fear.

"You should've told me this before, and not assumed, Verdona." Vanessa hissed. "And you'd better hope that Michael dies, or something equally, or more horrible which prevents this marriage. Or I can see our friendship of 10,000 years blowing up like a super nova!"

---- days later ----

“Cousin Deefus and Jennifer seem to have really hit it off these last few days,” Rook said.

He, Bendikkas, and Gwen were currently watching through a window as Deefus and Jennifer spent time together outside under the moonlight. It seemed as though Jennifer was beginning to prefer Deefus’ company to Rook’s, and that suited him just fine.

“I know,” Bendikkas replied happily, “look how she holds him in her arms. Gently bench-pressing him.”

“Nothing says love like over-head lifts,” Gwen tacked on wryly.

Suddenly, a pair of screams ripped through the air. All three observers winced as Jennifer and Deefus found themselves sinking into the ground.

“…Guess we should’ve told them about the quicksand,” Gwen said.

“I do not know about you, but I can’t just stand here and watch them drown!” Rook exclaimed.

Bendikkas smirked as Gwen replied, “You’re right. Let’s go get something to eat.”

“Rook, Gwen,” Bendikkas said in a reprimanding tone. “Rescue first. Sandwiches later.”

“Okay,” the two muttered dejectedly as the changed direction and headed outside to help the two.

Meanwhile, Vanessa found herself taking stock of all the wedding gifts. Blenders, crystal bowls, antique vases, and other mundane items that Vanessa couldn’t bear to see in Rook’s possession. In an act of vengeance against this whole farce, Vanessa began tossing breakables onto the floor, shattering them on impact.

“Oh! Did I do that?” she asked herself, in mock horror and embarrassment. “Oops!”

“Godmother!” Rook exclaimed in surprise, having just walked in. “I’m shocked!”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Vanessa wept, putting her head in her hands.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were opening up wedding gifts?” Rook asked, uncaring of the broken vases. He even tossed a few himself for good measure.

Vanessa chuckled, relieved that her godson was no happier about any of this than she was. “Rook,” she said finally, turning serious, “now that we’re alone, tell me…do you…well…like Jennifer?”

“Of course! I mean, other than the fact that I’m repulsed by her,” Rook replied. “Jennifer!”

Speak of the devil, the desperate bride to be walked in followed by Verdona.

“Rook! There you are!”

Jennifer approached Rook, all freshly showered, and wearing a white blouse and pants, and held out her hand expecting Rook to kiss it.
Rook reluctantly bent over to kiss it, not wanting the hassle of untangling her from a noose, when she judo flipped him over on his back again.

"Listen, we need to talk." Jennifer said rubbing a towel at her hair.

"Could we not just write to each other?" Rook asked, grunting as Jennifer kicked at his chest.

"Oh come on, let's go somewhere more private." Jennifer insisted.

Vanessa watched as Rook lifted himself up, and felt more, and more negative about this arranged marriage. Especially when Verdona waved in some works to paint the walls, and set up drapes, which they'd have succeeded if not for the various bear traps, and trap doors they kept setting off.

"I will go fetch Cousin Deefus." Rook said.

"Oh, don't bother, he's still drying the quicksand out of his hair." Jennifer said.

"He has hair?" Rook exclaimed in surprise.

"Besides, I want to talk to You," Jennifer turned Rook around, and shoved him out of the room.


Rook lets out a yell of alarm, as he's sent flying out of the room, causing Vanessa to cover her mouth in worry. Verdona floats over, having put on a fresh new skin suit, and leaned over to speak to Vanessa.

"I know that look on Jennifer's face anywhere," Verdona proclaimed. "It's LOVE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Vanessa made a angry face.

"Verdona, I didn't say you could speak to me yet." Vanessa said, waving a hand at Verdona to make her vanish in a violet light.


Out on the front steps, Rook and Jennifer were now 'alone' to talk.

"Blonko..." Jennifer said earning a look of surprise from Rook.

"I'm in love with your Cousin Deefus," Jennifer confessed.

Rook felt his heart beating rapidly in excitement.

"You are?" Rook asked in happy disbelief.

"Now, tell the truth. Would if be alright if I 'totally' humiliated you by backing out of the marriage and dated yours and mine, maybe, cousin?" Jennifer asked.

Blonko held up his hands, clasped together tightly in a beseeching manner.

"Oh please, 'humiliate me!'" Rook begs. "I give you my blessing, and my future children's blessing, and THEIR children's blessings, and their children's, children's blessing."

Jennifer rolled her eyes, and left Blonko, who stayed on the steps, head giddy with joy and happiness. Now, he could court Bendikkas, and not marry Jennifer.


A hair dryer was shown on in the library, where Jennifer rushed in with a gleeful expression.

"Deefus, I have the most wonderful news!" Jennifer exclaimed.

She looked into the chair, and down at the small, mini deefus in it.

"What's the news, Baby-doll?" Warbled and slurped the mini-deefus.

"Whoops." Jennifer looked sheepish, as she reached over to click off the hair dryer. "I shouldn't have turned the dryer on high."

"I hope I'm still able to make you happy with my sudden shrinkage." Deefus garbled.

"Oh, trust me, size doesn't matter." Jennifer cooed. "Anyway, as I was saying, I broke up with Rook, the wedding is off!" Jennifer cheered, waving her hands happily.

"Wow, I'm glad to hear that, Babe." Deefus burped and bubbled.

"I know, now I'm free to marry you!" Jennifer said.

It was like a record-player needle scratching a record harshly, as Deefus eyes bulged out like balloons filled with too much helium.

Jennifer frowned at his silence.

"Helloooooo? I said 'I'm free to marry you'." Jenn said in confusion.

"Well, in eight years, maybe" Deefus garbled out nervously.

"'In Eight Years, maybe!?'" Jennifer said in shocked disbelief.

"Well, I mean, we're both not ready, and eight years is long enough to really know each other." Deefus burped and warbled.

Jennifer stepped back with a unhappy pout.

"Either agree to marry me 'now' or take a hike!" Jennifer said, upset that the mud-man she'd known these past six days would treat her this way.

Deefus gave Jennifer a brief glance, and immediately, jumped off the chair, and hurried over to a mouse hole in the wall. Jennifer watched Deefus go in hurt shock.

"It's been great, babe. BYE!!" Deefus said with loud slurps as he hurried out of sight.

"Oohhhhhhhhh!! MEN!!" Jennifer fumed in anger.


Ben was sitting in the misty cemetery backyard, seated on a stone bench, and pulling the dying petals off a rose with a melancholy expression on his face.

"Oh, Bendikkas!!"

Blonko appeared, immediately by the love of his life's side, and grasping Bendikkas hand lovingly in his own furry palm.

"Jennifer broke off our engagement, so she could pursue Cousin Deefus!" Rook said jubilantly.

Bendikkas face widened with unsurpassed joy.

"Oh, Blonko!" Bendikkas said happily.

"Now we're free....." Blonko stared at Ben lovingly. "I would like very much to ask your consent, in wooing you to the point of proposing marriage."

Bendikkas blushed, overcome with the feelings he had for Rook, and the verbal confirmation that Blonko felt the same, and wanted to eventually marry him.

"Oh, Blonko, even if we courted for years, or just a few days. I know that when you ask me, I'd unhappily say 'Yes.'" Ben exclaimed.

Blonko understood what Bendikkas meant, and smiled to the point his fangs were shown.

"Till Death do us part." Blonko stated.

"And even AFTER that?" Ben asked in a heated tone, eyebrow quirked in intrigue.

"Forever and Ever," Rook purred happily.

"Oh, Blonko." Bendikkas cooed.

"My Heart's Flame." Rook boldly proclaimed.

The two leaned in for a passionate kiss, only to draw apart with wide eyes at the sound of Jennifer calling out eagerly.

"Oh Yoooo-hooo!" Jennifer called out. She gave the two of them a frown of displeasure, but shrugs it off. "I hate to break up this little 'love-fest' but our marriage is Back On."

This made Bendikkas and Rook look stricken with disbelief.

"What about Cousin Deefus?" Rook asked in shock.

"When I...'demanded' a commitment, he fled!" Jennifer said with a sour expression.

"Jennifer, did you say you were gonna get married?" Ben asked.

"Yes! Obviously, I did just called off my wedding with Rook, I was doing it to marry Deefus. And do you know what he said?" Jennifer asked contritely, causing Rook and Ben to shake their heads. "'In Eight Years Maybe' Course, I can't make the same slurping, goopy sound he does."

"Jennifer, that didn't sound so awful, I mean. Eight years is a respectful time to court!" Bendikas told his cousin.

"Yes, I mean it hardly makes sense to marry someone you have only known for a couple of days." Rook told her.

Jennifer gaped at him in offense.

"We were going to get married, we still are!!" Jennifer said with a humph.

"That was different, I knew this marriage was going to happen for years and had time to prepare myself. Besides, it was a matter of honor, I cannot say for certain I would ever marry..." Blonko jerks in pain when Ben, still looking at Jennifer, grips his thigh in a crushing grip. "Without getting to know you for a year, or so."

"Well, I've realized that arranged marriages are the way to go, and that's what we'll do." Jennifer said determined.

" is not that simple." Blonko said warily, as Ben released his thigh. Not wanting to trigger Jennifer again. "Since you had left me for Cousin Deefus..." He turns to stare at Ben with a loving, sultry stare. "Bendikkas and I have developed a...fondness for each other."

The two keep up the loving look at each other, only to be rudely interrupted when Jennifer flicks Blonko's ear, earning a sharp hiss from him.

"Reality Check! I just broke up with you 45 minutes ago!" Jennifer said incredulous.

"Jenn, we're sorry, we can't help the way we feel!" Bendikkas said sadly. Blonko hugs Ben closely with a warm look, and this causes a hard frown from Jennifer.

"I see..." Jennifer said slowly. "Well, don't worry, Bendikkas. Leave it to me to know just what to do."

And for some reason, those words sent a shiver up Ben and Blonko's spine, and not in a good way. And the smile on Jennifer's face didn't help none.


A loud foghorn rumbled through the house, and Albedo hurried over to answer the front door, opening it to reveal a tall, handsome young man in his late teens with blond hair, light blue eyes, dark eyebrows and pale skin. He dressed in a dark gray overcoat, a black shirt, a brown scarf, khaki pants and black dress shoes.

He was holding a bouquet of dead flowers, and smile a sparkling smile at Albedo.

"Hello, Albedo." Greeted the man.

Albedo slammed the door shut with a pale expression.

Khyber walks up with a questioning growl.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Mother's bastard son, Michael Morningstar, is jsut outside our front door." Albedo said with a gulp.

"What!?" Khyber hissed in rage.

“Either that, or there’s a walking-talking-advertisement for the pros of abortion standing just outside or door,” Albedo answered. Albedo then stepped aside as Khyber moved to open the door and check for himself.

“Ah, first the shrimp and then lummox!” Michael greeted with an overly sweet and angelic voice and smile. “A pleasure to be reunited with my…brothers.” Quick as a flash, he ducked under Khyber and entered the house, leaving Khyber and Albedo standing there, fuming.

At the same time, Jennifer was leading Bendikkas, whose eyes were covered by one of Jennifer’s hands, into the main room. “Come on, I have a surprise for you!” Jennifer teasingly said.

“Hello, Bendikkas,” Michael said, his eyes gleaming with lust, and something much darker and sinister, as he handed a very surprised Bendikkas the bouquet he’d been holding.

“Michael!” Bendikkas gasped, dropping the bouquet, “What are you doing here?!”

“More importantly, when are you leaving?” Albedo muttered disdainfully.

Michael chuckled darkly as he turned to Albedo and replied, “Oh? Has the infant finally learned to speak? A shame.” He then turned away, leaving a murderous Albedo to glare harshly at his back, and advanced on Ben, grabbing him by the shoulders in a far too possessive manner and said, “Oh Bendikkas, I couldn’t stand to be away from you another moment! So I stopped in! I hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind?” Bendikkas asked, a bit of fear in his voice. He turned to Albedo and Khyber, silently begging for help.

Behind him, Michael turned to Jennifer and whispered, “Thank you for alerting me to the situation.”

“You know me, always happy to help,” Jennifer responded with a cruel grin.

Michael then returned his attention to Bendikkas. “Come, Bendikkas! We have so much catching up to do!” Michael said as he all but dragged Bendikkas into one of the sitting rooms.

As they walked off, no one noticed Rook at the top of the stairs, a snarl on his face, his fangs and claws elongated, his fur bristling in agitation, and his pupils just thin slits.

It wasn’t long before Michael, Bendikkas, Verdona, and Vanessa were all situated in the sitting room discussing Michael’s and Bendikkas’ future together while Jennifer put Rook to work dusting a small stature Jennifer had insisted on placing in that room.

“So, Michael,” Verdona said, “any thoughts on where you and Bendikkas will go for your honeymoon?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Michael answered, boredly, leaning back into the sofa upon which he sat. “The craters of the Arizona? The Abyss of the Manchurian? It really doesn’t matter at this point. Any backdrop would merely be eclipsed by Bendikkas’ radiance.”

Behind him, Rook bristled and began to move as though to swat Michael with his feather duster. Unfortunately, Jennifer caught him just in time and flipped him.

Michael then sat up, gazing into Bendikkas’ eyes as he said, “Oh darling, if only we could get married today. Tomorrow we could wake up in each other’s arms and greet the terrors of a new day!”

Rook, slowly getting back on his knees, tried to go for Michael again, but once more Jennifer flipped him.

“How about you and Bendikkas get married right after Jennifer and Rook?” Verdona suggested.

Bendikkas’ eyes widened in horror at the thought.

“A splendid idea,” Michael answered with a dangerous smirk.

“I couldn’t agree more!” Jennifer added on happily.

Vanessa growled in frustration, and without entirely meaning to, an invisible lash of magic whipped out from her and slapped Michael across the face so hard that not only did his head spin, but his body was thrown off the couch! Furthermore, something went skittering across the floor!

“Michael!” Verdona and Jennifer both wailed in worry with Vanessa tried to look as inconspicuous as possible.

“Not to worry, I’m alright!” Michael said. But as he turned to face everyone in the room, every jaw dropped to the floor in surprise in horror.

Instead of the angelic face everyone knew, there was grey, sagging skin, dull black eyes, and unkempt white hair.

Quickly realizing the problem, Michael attempted to save face (no pun intended) by laughing the whole thing off. “Apologies, I had hoped no one would learn of the tragic accident that befell me nearly a year ago while exploring an Aztec ruin. I’m afraid I ran afoul of a terrible curse that robbed me of my good looks. I went to many different witch-doctors and sorcerers looking for a way to lift the curse. Sadly, there was nothing to be done.”

“Oh, you poor dear!” Verdona said, sympathetically while Jennifer wiped a tear from her eye. Vanessa merely rolled her eyes; served the greedy, heartless bastard right!

“Fortunately, I happened upon a down-on-his-luck scientist and paid him a fortune to complete his development of an undetectable mask that would return to me my good looks!” Michael continued. “It was a rather significant investment, but the results speak for themselves!”

“I should say so! I had no idea you were wearing a mask,” Jennifer replied, impressed.

“Ha! We shouldn’t be surprised,” Verdona said before turning to Vanessa with an almost knowing smile, “Your boy has always had a knack for knowing a good investment.

Vanessa faked a smile and replied, “Practically everything you see he gets from his father.” At face value, this sounded like a compliment, but really it was an insult towards both Michael, and the monster that sired him.

Michael, having now retrieved his damaged mask, turned to the group and said, “Fear not! It will only take a few short hours to make repairs, and then I will be ready for the wedding!”

“Ah yes! A double wedding it is!” Verdona said, before cackling in glee.

Later that night, Rook slowly creeped through the bog out behind the mansion. He had a secret rendezvous to make. In the distance he could see a cloaked figure standing there alone.

There were only a few feet between him and the cloaked figure when they turned around and revealed themselves to be his beloved.

“Bendikkas! At last, we’re alone!” Rook excitedly said, grasping Bendikkas’ hands.

“Oh Rook,” Ben moaned, “how can I marry Michael when I’m in love with you?”

“How can I marry Jennifer when all I want to do is chop her head off and mount it on a spike for all to see?” Rook asked in return.

“If only Cousin Deefus hadn’t run off.”

“If only Michael weren’t here.”

At that, Michael revealed his presence with an Ahem before stepping forth. “Hello, Bendikkas. Cousin,” Michael greeted, his fake face back on.

“Michael, I don’t know what to say,” Bendikkas said.

“Except that we weren’t expecting you,” Rook added with a slight growl.

“Obviously,” Michael said, setting down the small case he was carrying with him. His usual genial tone sounded tight and forced. Michael was irritated, and he was doing his best to hide it. “Bendikkas, I love you! More than life and death itself! And I feel that, in time-,“ here Michael forced Bendikkas to look at him, “-you’ll come to feel the same about me.”

“Over my dead body,” Rook growled.

Michael grinned darkly as he replied, “Precisely! But, in the meantime.” Michael ended his words with a harsh slap across Rook’s face. “Cousin, I challenge you to a duel!” Michael then walked back over to the case he’d set down earlier and opened it. “Select your weapon.”

As Rook moved to select a pistol for the case, Bendikkas pleaded, “No, Rook, you can’t! Michael is an expert marksman! Why, as a child, he had a summer job as an executioner!”

“Good, then the odds will be even!” Rook barked as he selected a pistol and spun it around his finger with such precision and elegance. He relished the brief look of panic that flashed across Michael’s (fake) face.

“Excellent!” Michael exclaimed, regaining his confidence. “Alright, back to back,” he said, turning around to face opposite of Rook. “Ten paces. May the best man…die.”

Rook readied his pistol as Michael counted. “One. Two.”

“Food nourishment,” Khyber offered, bearing a tray of sandwiches.

“What a splendid idea!” Bendikkas exclaimed, eager to delay the inevitable.

Michael shrugged, clearly relieved himself but not wanting anyone to know it. “Well, I suppose you could have a last meal.”

Rook smiled up at Khyber kindly. “My thanks, Khyber; these look delicious. What’s in them? Hen brains?”

Khyber nodded in affirmative.

Michael took a sandwich and haughtily took a rather large bite, taking both sandwich and toothpick in one bite. Immediately he began to gag and choke as the toothpick entered his windpipe. With one last gasp, he collapsed and died.

“Oh dear! What happened?” Bendikkas asked.

Rook merely peered down his nose at his cousin’s deceased body. “Karma,” he answered. “And not a moment too soon.”


At a late time the next evening, everything was set up for Rook and Jennifer's wedding, the food arrived, the Minister arrived, the guests and especially, Rook's family.

You can imagine Rook Da and Rook brallah's shock, when their son told them they'd be attending a Funeral as well as a Wedding.

Everyone was dressed up, thou it seemed more for a funeral, then a wedding. But that was typical, except for Jennifer in her white wedding dress.

"Ashes to Ashes, and dust to dust." Droned the Minister, who casually threw a handful of dirt over his shoulder into the grave, with a bored expression.

"We say good bye To Michael Morningstar aka Darkstar, may he rest in.....Pieces forever."

Everyone clapped, and Vanessa, dressed in a purple smock, with a spider-web like veil, and a live spider on her head, smiled as she thumbed a bone-carver that was strapped to her leg, and freshly cleaned.

Jennifer got annoyed when the clapping went on for far too long, and she snapped her fingers at the minister.

He looked about ready to leave, but frowned when Jennifer caught his attention.

Jennifer pointed to the altar nearby with a stern look, and the Minister gave her a hard sneer of annoyance.

"Come on, Rook!" Jennifer snapped.

"Stop pushing!" Rook hissed.

Jennifer was given a sharp slap on the arm from Max, who frowned at her in reprimand. All the while, the Rook's watch with a heavy heart.

"She is certainly NOT what we had been expecting." Rook Brallah sighed sadly.

"Indeed, if our honor did not demand it. I'd say we poison her, and have him marry the other cousin." Rook Da said under his breath.

"Who, Gwen?" Shar asked, floored to hear her father use a contraction.

"No, the brown haired male." Rook Da said.

Bendikkas was himself, done up in all green emerald tux, with a pitch black tie, that had a blood red hour glasss symbol on it.

He was watching the proceedings with a heavy heart, watching the man he loved, married off to another, and knowing he loved Bendikkas back was even worse.

Khyber was in a sour mood too, still dressed in a white tux, but blood splattered, and forced to play the wedding music.

Rook and Jennifer stand before the Minister, who looks disgruntled.

"So, anyway..."

Khyber flips through pages of his music sheets, before he lands on the one he wants.

He starts off with the baseball opening music, before Gwen hurries over, patting him on the shoulder and whispering in his ear.

"Oh, Sorry..." He changes to the wedding march.

"Now then..." The Minister starts to say. "We are gathered here today to join this....woman." The minister nods at Jennifer, thou he speaks very slowly.

"And" He nods to Blonko


Bendikkas is wiping his eyes with a black handkerchief, as Gwen, Shar and Max comfort him.



In his bachelor pad, Deefus has thought of nothing but Jennifer, after he returned to his normal size. He sat at his desk, a notepad near him, covered in her name. He felt awful for not trying to work things out with Jennifer, convincing her that dating for a year or so would be better.

Determined, he stood up and headed out to his car, he sloshed right in and drove off to go and see Jennifer.


At the wedding, everyone was really sad and depressed. Argit was blowing his nose loudly into a handkerchief, which earned a wrathful glare from Jennifer. Who turned back to the Minister with a annoyed expression.

"Would you Please hurry UP!!" Jennifer hissed, Blonko looked uncomfortable near her.

The Minster, fed up with Jennifer snobby, bossy attitude, gave her a hateful glower, which startled everyone. Even more, when he purposefully made EVERY effort to slow down.

Which was really good for Deefus, who's car ran out of gas on the way there, so he had to get out. Shapeshift into a unicorn like alien with unicycle legs, and speed down the road.

Some hours later, the minister reached the most important part of the vow reading.

"If anyone here has ANY reason as to why this.....woman. And this Man, should not be joined in holy matrimony, say so now."

As soon as the Minister said it, Khyber turned, raising his hand, Bendikkas held up his, as did the Rook family, Vanessa put albedo on her shoulders, so they could wildly wave their hands. Verdona was shocked that Max and Gwen were raising their hands, and Argit was blowing on a whistle.

"HEY! OVER HERE!!!" Argit yelled, before blowing the whistle.

Rook raised his hand as well, unable to stand by and do nothing.

"Perhaps I should take a number," The minister sighed, thou not surprised. "Well, since your the bridegroom, I guess you should go first."

Blonko turned to Jennifer, who looked visibly unhappy with the fact Blonko raised his hand, and her lips were pressed tightly together.

"Jennifer. I have to be honest with you I'm in..." Rook turned to look at Ben, who shook his head with a sad look. And remembered about Jennifer's attempted hanging. "....I'm Unworthy of you."

Jennifer laughed it off.

"Oh, yeah, yeah." She smacks his chest. "But a promise is a promise."

That caused the Rook family to bristle.

"Did she just say our son was unworthy of him!?" Rook Da asked incredulous.

"She did indeed!" Rook Brallah snapped.

"Let me use my axe on her, Mother!" Young One shouted, waving his bright, sharp axe.

"I've got my machete." Rook Da said in contractions.

"Yes, and I've got my razor." Rook Brallah said as she reached into her purse.

"Uh, so.....I take it, that some one ELSE object to Rook becoming Jennifer's awful, Lawful! Wedded husband?" The minister asked.

"We do!" The rooks shout.

"WHAT!?" Verdona and Jennifer snapped, turning in disbelief to glare at the clan.

"If she thinks our son is 'unworthy' then she has dishonored us, and this union." Rook Da stated heatedly. "So, as such she is UNWORTHY to marry my son!"

Jennifer fumed, as Verdona looked frazzled.

"They can't say that!" Verdona turned to Vanessa. "Tell them they can't dissolve the agreement!"

Vanessa shook her head, holding up a hand to Verdona.

"I'm sorry, Verdona. As his parents, they have the right to object to the marriage, since Rook has also object, and they are his legal guardians till he comes of age."

Jennifer looked confused.

"Wait, what do you mean 'of age?'" Jennifer asked.

"Well, Rook Blonko is only 17, and he can only marry with the consent of his legal guardians, his parents." Vanessa said.

"Wha....I THOUGHT HE WAS 25!?" Jennifer said in disgust. "GRANDMA!! YOU SAID HE WAS OF AGE!!"

Verdona looked flabbergasted.

"I...I didn't know, I just assumed." Verdona said.

"Oh, Verdona.." Max sighed, face palming.

"I'm not marrying him, not if he's not at least 18!" Jennifer said with a huff. "People will think I'm a freak, like Ben!"

Rook shar growled. "You ARE a freak!"

Jennifer gasped in hurt tone.

"Wait, I thought brother was..." Young One was about to say, but his sister Rook Shim covered his mouth with her hands.

'JENNIFER!! JENNIFER!!' Loud, farts and squelching sounds echoed through the yard.

And a figure slammed into the glass doors of the greenhouse, which led into the backyard, a familiar, muddy splat.

"DEEFUS!!" Jennifer cried out in joy.

Argit, Albedo and Gwen hurried to the door, opening it to allow Deefus to reform on the other side.

"Oh Deefus, you came back!" Jennifer said overjoyed.

'Baby, I love you. I can't marry you now, but I'm ready to commit EVERY second of the next three years to courting you until marriage.' Were the words Deefus bubbled, and squished out at Jennifer.

"Blonko, since you've confessed your unworthiness, and I found out your real age. The only thing to do now is..." Jennifer throws her bouquet up in the air.


Jennifer was swept up in Deefus's muddy...'arms' and carried off through the crowd.

"Jennifer!" Verdona cried out in disappointment.

"Hey!" Albedo whined, as mud got on his shirt.

"Oh thank the lord..." Max sighed.

"Honor is restored!" Rook Da cheered.

"Yes! No Jennifer Nocturne as a sister in law!" Rook Shar cheered, only to settle down when her mother gave her a disapproving eye. "I mean....ahem."

"That went well." Vanessa said happily.

"Yes, and no one got to get eviscerated," Gwen said.

"Oh well, hopefully next time." Argit said with a sigh.

Rook did a VERY un-revonnaghander fist pump, only to be called to the attention of the Minister.

"I hate to interrupt the fun." The minster said. "But I still get paid, whether the ball game gets rained out, or not."

Rook turns around, hands out in calming manner.

"Fear not, a wedding will be held here today." Blonko reassures the family.

Bendikkas smiled, body trembling with excited anticipation.

"My Heart's Flame." Rook purred, as he approached Ben, bending down on one knee to take the brunette's hand in his own.

"Will you marry me?" Rook asked.

Verdona made to say something, and Vanessa's magic made a mana gag around her mouth, causing her to flip her hair in agitation.

Gwen hands over a bouquet of beheaded roses for Bendikkas to accept with a smile.

"It would make me the unhappiest ghoul in the whole world!" Bendikkas said with a wide grin.

Rook was overjoyed, overcome with uprising passion, love and joy.

"Let the ceremony begin!" Blonko declared.

They stood before the Minister, both beaming with joy.

"Wait, so is Rook really only 17?" Gwen asked quietly to Vanessa in confusion.

"No, I just said that to drive off Jen and Verdona, we won't let it be known till AFTER the ceremony." Vanessa said conspiratorially.

"Oh Blonko, there's nothing I don't love about you...your glowing eyes, your sharp fangs, the angle of your bones, the midnight black stripes that crisscross your face, and your lavender fur." Bendikkas declared.  

"I've never met a more wild, wonderful, handsome, sweet, caring and passionate man in my life." Bendikkas said.

Blonko held Ben close, leaning in to sniff, and nuzzling Ben's face.

"And I you, the pallor of your skin, the way your hair reassembles wither grass in it's brownness, your eyes, like two emerald moons on a pale, white, snowy night." Blonko proclaims.

The two kissed passionately, and during that moment, Verdona breaks free of her gag. And with a wave of her hand, she pulls the two apart.

"Bendikkas, are you SURE you want to marry, Blonko. After all you only just met 3 weeks ago," Verdona reminds him. "You could be in for some Nasty Surprises"

Verdona's warning only made Bendikkas smile happily.

"Why, Grandma. That is my fondest hope." Bendikkas said with a sharp grin.

And the two resume kissing, as Verdona looks perturbed, but accept the decision as Ben's. Everyone else cheers happily, clapping, and smiling. Max wraps a arm around Verdona, consoling her, as Ben and Rook turn to the minister.

"Ahem. Now then, from the top. Do you two..."

But his words were whispers on the wind, as Ben and Rook had eyes and ears only for each other. Now, standing at the altar to wed.


Back in the present.

"And THAT is how your Papa and I got married." Ben said happily, staring into Rook's eyes, holding hands with their fingers laced.

"A duel, a Death, a funeral." Ester sighed romantically. "I just wish I could've been there for THAT wedding."

Ren looked up at his parents.

"Cousin Deefus and Cousin Jennifer didn't really get married, did they?" He asked.

"No, I'm afraid when the 8 years were up, they moved on. And your Cousin married a convict she met in the prison pen pal system." Rook said.

"And Cousin Deefus eventually entered a passionate, loving marriage with a arachna-chimp named 'Simian.'" Bendikkas added.

"I'm just relieved everything ended the way it did." Max said in relief.

"Us too." Bailey and Ren said.

Ben and Blonko look at each other, before kissing each other passionately, Blonko lifting Ben up to carry him bridal style out of the dining room. To everyone else's surprise, or bemusement.

"Blonko? Blonko!" Albedo called out, before sighing in annoyance.

"Ah, love." Devlin said with a small smile.

He glanced at a pair of pictures, framed on the wall. It showed the mug shots of Ben and Blonko on their honeymoon.
It was all started in the living room of the Rook Family Mansion. Everyone was gathered around Ben and Blonko, who were dressed in their fine clothing, Ben in his green, silk, button up shirt with bone buttons, and dress pants. Rook was dressed in his long sleeved, blue sweater with a white skull painted on the front, and his Capri pants, torn and clawed at with them both seated on the couch.

"Happy 13th Anniversary!" Vanessa proclaimed, wearing gold scorpion bracelets, a blood red dress with black spider-web stitching on it.

She handed a gift to Ben, who accepted it.

"Thank you, Vanessa." Ben thanked her, as he unwrapped the gift.

He opened it. And revealed a sexy looking black negligee, which he held up with a appeasing look.

"Oh, Vanessa, how lovely." Ben chuckled lightly.

Khyber, holding a tray with bottle of Ghoul Sprool Wine, looked in Vanessa's direction with a amused smile.

"Actually, it's more of a present for Blonko." Vanessa said winking at Ben.

Ben grinned slyly, as he looked to Rook, who frowned in confusion.

"Well, I would not mind wearing it. But it doesn't seem to be in my size." Rook said confused.

"Blonko." Ben said looking down at the negligee pointedly.

Blonko's eyes widened a bit, but he grins luridly with a pleased expression, rubbing his hand over Ben's leg.

"Thank you, Ma'jun." Rook said to his godmother.

Ben put away the gift, as he and Rook kissed sweetly, the family watching. With all holding a glass of a blood red substance, not necessarily wine.

Bailey, Renoir, Ergho and Devlin sat around the coffee table made of Amber Ogia resin, watching as Rook and Ben smooched.

Despite it being their parents, Ren and Bailey were happy to see their parents smooching.

"Look at those two, Lovebirds." Rook Brillig proclaimed. "They are still as deeply in love as the day the two of them met."

Vanessa, Argit, Rook Da, Rook Bralla, Rook Shar and the others all nod.

"Mother, Father, how did you two meet?" Renoir asked.

Blonko's sisters giggled with a shudder, as if remember something particularly unpleasant, Rook Da looked awkward, coughing into his fist as Bralla shuts one eye, but looks at her husband with the other. Ester looks at Argit as he snickers, and Rook Brillig grimaces like he had a bad taste in his mouth.

"Please, Renoir. There are some things a delicate child such as yourself are better off NOT knowing." Vanessa said as she shifted in her seat.

"Your Ma'jun is right, there are some things that can scar a person for life." Rook said to his son.

"But we've already been exposed to Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol, Katy Perry and Donald Trump." Ergho spoke up.

The other kids nod, as the others grimace at the characters referenced by Ergho.

"What could be worse then that?" Bailey asked her Dad and Papa.

"The children do have a point," Grandpa Max points out.

Ben and Rook look at each other, and sighed as they decided it was better to tell the truth.

"Shall we?" Ben asked Rook with a smile.

"Well, for starters..." Blonko began after a heavy sigh. "I wasn't supposed to marry your Father."

The other Rooks, and Blonko's twins gasped in shock at his use of a contraction.

"I was supposed to marry his Cousin..." He gives Gwen a glance, who cringes at the reminder. "Jennifer Nocturne." Blonk looks away awkwardly, as if he confessed something truly heinous.

Bailey, Devlin, Renoir and Ergho turn to each other in shock and horror.

"AUNT JENNIFER!?" They shout in exclamation.

Ben chuckled at their disgusted reactions.

"I'll never forget the first day we met, Blonko." Ben said lovingly to his husband. "The sky was blue, the sun was shining, the birds were singing."

Blonko took a deep breath, as if preparing to take a major leap.

"I knew we were in for trouble." Blonko stated in worry.


Thirteen years ago

We travel back in time to the hallowed halls of the Rook Manor, where a young Rook Blonko is show in the entertainment room. He's shown wearing a bulky coat, a scarf, and polishing his proto-tool.

Up from behind comes his Ma'jun, the woman who was in charge of his mother's well being, and helping to raise the children when they were born, Essa Stonewedge, or her Earth name, Vanessa Masters.

She was holding a glass bottle with a blue liquid in it.

She was dressed in a long, dark purple Gothic-themed dress, a large blood red sun hat, long mauve gloves and a belt with a diamond skull on the front. She was accompanied by Rook's eldest Sister, Shar, who was wearing a typical female revonnaghander outfit.

Vanessa walks up to Rook Blonko, and hands him the bottle.

"Here, try this for your cold, swee'ja. It'll eat right through your sinuses." Vanessa said.

Despite the contraction, Rook accepted the bottle happily, as he did look very pale and under the weather.

"Thank you, Ma'jun." Rook said. He then threw back the bottle, and guzzled every last drop of the stuff.

"I do not understand, brother." Shar said. "You never get sick."

Vanessa rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

"Oh, it's probably just 'nerves'." Vanessa said soothingly.

"After all, it is not every day, that a young revonnaghnader meets his bride to be, for the very first time. "Shar said.

Rook's eyes widened in alarm, and he turned with a hopefully, charming smile.

"I have an idea! Instead of this arranged marriage with Jennifer," Rook said waving the hand with the bottle around. "Why don't I go out on my own, find someone and fall madly in love?"

Shar gasped as Vanessa gave him a amused look.

"Brother! If our parents heard you speaking in such a way, and in contractions too!" Shar scolded.

"Oh, now, where's the fun in all that?" Vanessa laughed as she took the bottle from Rook.

"Brother, you know that arranged marriages are a Rook Family tradition," Shar said with a frown. "I am to be expected to marry someone our parents pick out, we have been doing it for centuries. And there has not been a divorce yet."

Rook turned with a look of non-acceptance.

"Just a few untimely deaths." Rook muttered.

"Most of them mine." Vanessa giggled sheepishly.

Shar heard Blonko, and looked angry, but Vanessa put a hand against her chest, and turned Blonko around to face her.

"Blonko, Darling, you don't need to be so uneasy." Vanessa said. "Your parents sent you here with me and your sister to accompany you, until your parents arrived. And oversee the preparations for the whole ceremony, trust me."

She pats his cheek with a warm smile.

"I always know what's best for my Swee'ja's." Vanessa cooed.

Rook smiled a little, before his eyes became hazy, and he fell sideways onto the floor. Shar screamed as she crouched down near her brother in alarm. Vanessa frowning she brought the glass bottle up to her nose, sniffing it, before her face paled in alarm.

"Strychnine!" Vanessa gasped.


Some time later, in the main hall. A large wooden crate was shown in the main hall, standing next to it was the tall imposing figure of Khyber, the family Butler and Vanessa's adopted child.

"Special Delivery." Khyber drowned out in his raspy voice.

Vanessa, Rook and Shar approached, followed by a giant humanoid porcupine/opossum. He came up to Rook's waist. He had big yellow eyes and black quills for hair. He wore an orange, zipped up jacket with yellow accents, as well as orange and yellow shorts. And had piercings in his ear.

This was Argit, a distant cousin of the Rook's.

"Oh great, maybe it's that super power quill cleaner I ordered?" Argit asked hopefully.

"Better yet, let's hope it's a wedding present." Vanessa said. "We could use some new vats."

They looked over the crate, and Shar pointed to the large sticker on the side.

"Hmmm. Fragile." She read out loud.

The crate then shook violently, as if something, or someone was inside. The group looked at each other, as it shook and fell over onto it's side.

Rook, Vanessa, Argit and Khyber looked at each other, and grinned psychotically. Rook pulled out his proto-tool, which turned into a orange, energy chainsaw, Vanessa a axe, Khyber his deadly knives, and Argit a crowbar. They proceeded to let loose on the crate, bashing, hacking, slashing and carving it up. The wooden pieces went flying, Shar backing up with her hands up to shield her eyes.

Eventually, the crate was destroyed, falling to pieces off the person who was trapped inside.

It was a young boy of about 11 years old, pale skin, bags under his eyes, he had red eyes and white hair, he was wearing a red and black shirt and pants, he stood up with a small frown, dusting himself off.

Vanessa smiled, rushing over to hug the small boy with a smile. The boy was Albedo, formerly a Galvan alien, he'd been killed, and then revived as a baby human that Vanessa adopted. But he still retained his vast intelligence and condescending attitude at times.

"Mother, please, I am glad to see you too. But no need for theatrics." Albedo then yelped when she tweaked his ear.

"Ah, Albedo, back in time for my wedding." Rook smiled, glad to see his adopted relation.

"Blonko, you almost cut my arm off back there." Albedo said with a frown. "Better luck next time."

They smile with wicked glee.

"I see you got a new crate." Rook Shar states as she walked over.

"Isn't it a beauty?" Albedo said with a proud smile. "It is made from the cheapest pine available."

He yelps as Vanessa reaches behind him, and pulls a large splinter out of his behind.

"So it splinters easily, then?" She asked rhetorically.

"Ooooh." Argit exclaimed with a jealous shudder. "That must've hurt!"

"So, how are things at MIT?" Vanessa asked her boy.

"Mother, MIT was Three Universities ago," Albedo said in bored exasperation. "Remember? They expelled me for blowing up the chemistry department."

Vanessa made a face of disgruntlement.

"Oh that!" She waves it off disparagingly. "Some places will kick you out for anything"

Albedo let out a scoff disgust.

"Tell me about it." Albedo huffed.

"Albedo, let us go outside and celebrate your return, while the night is still damp." Rook proclaimed.

Albedo smiled, and walked out with Shar and Khyber following, but Rook holds back to grab Argit's axe. He lifts and hurls it through the air, and a loud thunk is heard.

"Ahahaha! Nice aim!" Albedo complimented.

Rook smiled, following after them, as Vanessa shakes her head in fond exasperation.


The boys were in the family mini-golf course, and before a windmill with Blonko up to tee, he had his golf club down. He swung the club back, and hurled it at the windmill, which sparked wildly, the club tangled around the center of the spinning fans of the windmill.

"Nice aim." Argit proclaimed.

"Next time, you might want to try hitting the ball." Albedo said.

"Sorry, it's all this talk about marriage," Rook said passing by a small table with more clubs on it, picking one. "It's throwing off my game."

"Well, if you are having second talks, maybe you should talk to Mother." Albedo said. "Or with your own parental units."

Rook swung at another golf ball, and let go of the club, causing it to behead a card-board cut out of a sweet shepherdess.

Albedo goes up to have his swing at the golf ball.

"I've tried! My parents insist that we must connect our family blood to the Tennysons," Rook stated. "And my Ma'jun and Tennyson Matriarch Tennyson have been planning this, since they were little ones, playing with matches."

"When Dinosaurs walked the Earth." Argit snickered.

Albedo swung, hit the golf ball off a tombstone, hit Argit on the side of his head, and it hit the golf flag, and it landed in the golf hole.

"Ah, a fine shot, ALbedo." Khyber praised.

Argit rubbed his head with a groan.

"Yeah, really good one..." Argit groaned.

Rook looked thoughtful, as he twiddled with his golf club.

"You know, Jennifer is coming with her two cousins," Rook said with a small smile. "Maybe you and one of them would get along, and we could make this a double wedding!"

Albedo looked up Rook incredulous, as did Argit, and Khyber growled protectively.

"Blonko, despite my superior mind, I am still a young child of ELEVEN." Albedo points out.

Rook blinks, and hits himself hard on the head with his own club.

"Oh Bralla Dah, yes, I keep forgetting this is your age now, physically." Rook said mortified.

Khyber growls in agreement, and heads off into the Mansion.

"What about the spiny one?" Albedo asked pointing to Argit.

"No way, I like girls, and I'm a bachelor for life!" Argit stated.

"Well, even if I was of the right age, Blonko." Albedo states. "I wouldn't do it. I promised my Mother, and the Doctors at the Asylum I would never reproduce."

Rook sighed, placing his golf ball down onto his tee.

"Oh well. I guess I will have to make the best of it." Rook sighed. "But maybe Jennifer will not be as bad as I think."

He swung, and missed as Albedo and Argit ducked, causing the golf-club to go flying, spinning through the air.

"Fore?" Rook said sheepishly.


Back in the house, Khyber strolled up to Vanessa and Shar, as they set up a table with various refreshments, large pot of toadstool tea and other such goodies.

"Ladies fingers, for the ladies." Khyber said holding out the tray for Vanessa to examine.

"Oh, Khyber, I do hope Jennifer likes Rook." Vanessa sighed. "And vice a versa."

Khyber nods with a growl.

A window shattering caught their attention, Vanessa spun around as something shot past her, and hit Khyber. It was Rook's golf club, now tied around his thick neck.

"Well, if she likes him, she will have to like golfing. "Shar joked.

"Oh, I like what the boys have done with the window." Vanessa said as she put the cockroaches that were scurrying away onto the crackers.

A fog horn sound alerted them to someone at the front door.

"That is them now!" Shar proclaimed.

"BLONKO, COME ON!!" Vanessa shouts loudly, startling Shar.

"What is it, Ma'jun?"

Blonko, Argit and Albedo suddenly appearing startled the both of them.

"It is time to meet your new bride, Brother!" Shar said excitedly.

"Easy on the excitement, Shar. We don't want her to run off seeing how crazy the family is." Vanessa said sarcastically.

Everyone proceeded to the main hall, Rook following with a frown, his hands in his pockets.

"This is so exciting!" Vanessa said in contrast to what she said earlier to Shar.

She stood in the center of the Hall, with the boys and Shar on the other side, watching as Khyber approached the door. Argit nudged Rook, who frowned in despondency. Khyber opened the door, and a woman strolled on in with a wide smile. Tall, blonde, middle-aged eccentric with awry, Marlene Dietrich-like hair and dressed in a lumpy knee-length dress adorned with feather trim.

"We're here!" The woman proclaimed, striking a pose, right arm up into the air.

Vanessa held out her arms in welcome, a big smile on her face, as the joy of seeing her old friend overcame her, as did the terrifying laughter that echoed throughout the house from the woman's lips.

"Vanessa!" The woman hurried over to the Sorceress.

"Verdona!" Vanessa cried out, hugging her tightly.

"Oh, I love the new body-suit you got!" Vanessa complimented her best friend.

"Oh, thank you." Verdona said gesturing her hands over her face like a picture frame. "I didn't want to overshadow the bride, so I picked something 'subdued.'"

Argit leaned over to harshly whisper to Rook.

"THAT'S 'Subdued!?'"

Shar reached over to smack his arm. "Shush!"

A fairly overweight man in his fifties came in after Verdona, he wore a white shirt, covered by a red buttoned-up Hawaiian shirt with a floral design. He had grey hair and blue pants, as well as brown shoes.

"Hey, no hug for me?" The man called out with a teasing grin.

"Oh, Max Tennyson, you old codger!" Vanessa giggled, coming over to hug him, kissing both his cheeks.

"I see that your still radiant as ever, V." Max teased with a smile.

"And you still haven't been frightened away by Verdona," Vanessa giggled. "I knew you were lionhearted."

"No, that's Kitty." Max teased.

That got a strange expression from Shar, Rook, Argit and Albedo.

"Where's Jennifer?" Vanessa asked.

"Right behind me." Max pointed out.

A beautiful young woman with long, blonde hair entered the Masnion. She wore a purple cutaway dress shirt with black at the center. In addition, she donned silver ring bracelets and a crescent moon necklace.

She turned to Kyber with a patronizing smile.

"My bags are in the car, and please, careful muchi with the Guchi!" She said waving a finger at Khyber.

The others balked at her behavior, Albedo narrowing his eyes at her condescending attitude, and Khyber growled lightly in anger.

Jennifer walked forward a bit, thou a huff of anger was heard from the door halted her steps.

"Jennifer, you can't just order people around, especially since we don't even know if they're servants!"

It was a beautiful young woman, tall, green eyes, red hair which reached down to her waist. She wore a white shirt under a dark blue sweater, black stockings under a black mini skirt, and black high heels. Her hair had also grown longer and was down to her waist.

Several suitcases and such floated behind her with a faint pink aura. Jennifer wrinkled her nose at the other girl, but didn't say anything.

"Sorry about that," The girl said to Khyber. "The I'm Gwendolyn Tennyson, but my friends call me Gwen."

Khyber nods, smiling faintly, as he does take some suitcases.

"We brought Gwen along, to be maid of honor." Verdona explains to Vanessa.

"You remember Gwen, she's my son Frank's daughter?" Max asked.

"Oh, of course." Vanessa stretched out her hands with a big smile. "Welcome, Dear. And I see you inherited the spark from your Grandmother."

Gwen smiled, coming over, followed by the luggage, and accepted a hug and kiss on the cheek from Vanessa.

"Thanks. I had been studying at Witch-haven and already graduated," Gwen grins beaming. "I'm already in my third year at the Sorcerer's Academy."

"That is very impressive." Vanessa praised. "These are the rest of the family, My Godson Blonko, we call him Rook, his sister Shar, my adopted son Albedo and Argit...our....well, we're not sure HOW he's related."

"Oh, well, hello." Gwen greeted.

"Hello." The all said, already liking this member of the Tennyson clan better then Jennifer.

Jennifer huffed, and strolled over toward the others, as Shar walked over to Gwen, greeting her more personally.

"Hi there!" Argit said holding out his hand with a grin.

"I don't think so..." Jennifer cringed in disgust.

Rook's face took on a more bland tone, clearly not enthused by her presence.

"Well, you must be Blonko!" Jennifer said with a enthusiastic grin.

"I'm Argit..." Rook said in fear. Argit reacts to that annoyed.

"I'm Argit!" Argit said stomping off.

Albedo sighed, as he walked over to his mother, who was still chatting with Verdona, Max, Gwen and Shar.

Jennifer walked up closer to Rook, and slapped his arm.

"Well, aren't you the comedian." Jennifer held out her hand to him. "I'm Jennifer!"

"Nice to meet you..." Rook said as he mustered up the strength to kiss the back of her hand.

"Uh-oh.." Max called out, looking around. "I lost one."

"One 'what'?" Shar asked.

"Grandchild! My Grandson isn't here." Max said in alarm.

Suddenly, a massive roar shook the entire Mansion, earning reactions from everyone else.

"What was THAT?" Rook asked with a excited grin for the first time.

That earned looks from the others, Vanessa looking around for the source of the roar, as Max smiled out of fondness, Gwen shook her head with giggle and Verdona sighed like this was a common occurrence.

"Oh, that's just my cousins cat," Jennifer leaned over with a weirded out expression. "He likes things with 'Claws'."

"Oh, then he'll get on well with the family." Albedo joked.

"We brought Ben along to be the Best Man." Max explains to Vanessa. "Plus, we had to bring Kitty, since we couldn't leave it at home."

"It's not easy finding Panuncian Sitter's these days." Argit exclaimed with a nod.

Soon a figure appeared in  the doorway, struggling with a chain that stretched out of sight from the side of the door.

"Come on, Kitty. Come on!" The figure called out, only for the chain to snap. "Oh! You're so stubborn!"

Rook’s heart skipped a beat as his eyes beheld a breathtaking sight.

A young man, barely out of his teens, with a head full of chocolate brown locks, two radiant and eerie green eyes that almost seemed to glow with mischief, and smooth, supple skin. He was dressed in a green and black stripped shirt and tight, tight brown cargo pants that showed off his shapely form.

“Ben…” Rook said, testing the name on his lips and finding the sensation most pleasant. “I imagine that’s short for ‘Benjamin’.”

Ben smiled every so sweetly. “And you would be…so dreadfully, woefully wrong. It’s actually short for Bendikkas.” Ben’s smile almost seemed to turn predatory as he announced with a touch of a Baltic accent, “Bendikkas Kirila Tennyson.”

Rook’s heart leapt into his throat, frightened and aroused simultaneously by this creature before him. Quickly, he pulled himself together and replied, “Malonu susitikti su jumis, Bendikkas. A great pleasure, indeed.”

Rook then made to reach out and take Ben’s hand.
Unfortunately for Rook, Jennifer quickly intercepted and flipped Rook onto his back.

“Bet you didn’t know I was a Judo champ,” Jennifer bragged, looking down at Rook with an arrogant smile.

“No,” Rook groaned, “but then again, I didn’t know I had a slipped disk either.”

“Not only is Jennifer a black-belt,” Verdona praised, “she was student-body president, head of the Glee Club, and class caterer! A real joiner!”

As Verdona spoke, Jennifer practically preened herself with both Gwen and Ben side-eyed her with matching looks of disdain.

“What about you, Bendikkas? Are you a joiner too?” Rook asked.

Ben got a far-away, gleeful look in his eyes as he answered, “When socializing with others, it’s best not to put glass in their tea. Cyanide is more effective.” Grinning, Ben leaned down, offering Rook a hand, and helped him back to his feet.

Rook snorted in amusement. “A fair point.”

“Now, Bendikkas,” Verdona lectured as she walked over, “no one wants to hear about your anti-social tendencies. In fact, Bendikkas refused to even go to school. If it weren’t for my husband’s kind and noble heart, this poor boy would be little more than a dark and dreary dullard. If only I could rid the boy of the first two, he might be on even footing with Jennifer.”

Rook could clearly see the disapproval on Max’s face as well as the hidden fury in Gwen’s. Ben however seemed to be shrinking into himself; wilting like a poisoned flower. This certainly would not do! But before he could speak one word, Jennifer snatched him by the arm and dragged him off.

“Blah, blah, blah! Let’s stop talking about little Benny-boo, and start talking about our wedding! Come on, Rock!”

“It’s Rook,” Rook grumbled.

As Jennifer led Rook away by the arm, Ben watched them leave with a saddened expression, the others walking over, and Shar was frowning in confusion.

"I do not understand, you said Ben was almost a dark, dreary, dullard, and that if you got rid of the first two he would be equal to Jennifer." Shar said to Verdona. "So, you are saying Jennifer is a dullard?" Shar asked in confusion.

Verdona opened her mouth, and frowned in distress, as she realized her slip up. Ben had a evil smirk, and Gwen giggled in glee.


In the living room, Jennifer had Rook holding up a mirror to admire herself, smoothing down her hair with a smile. Shar, Albedo and Argit watched from one of the couches.

"Perfect!" She took the mirror from Rook and put it in her purse.

"So, what do you want to do now?" Jennifer asked Rook.

"Go into a coma?" Rook said sincerely.

"OH!" Jennifer smacked his shoulder with a nerve racking giggle. "You are SUCH a kidder!"

She took Rook's hand, and had him come over to sit with her on the love seat.

"Guess what?" Jennifer cooed. "I have a surprise for you!"

Rook squirmed uncomfortably, and leaned back from Jennifer. Albedo looked annoyed, as he fiddled with a circuit he was working on.

"Your leaving?" Albedo asked annoyed.

Jennifer turned to sneer at Albedo.

"I can't believe we BOTH grew up with such 'odd ball' relatives." Jennifer huffed.

"Technically, he is my Ma'jun's adopted son." Rook said.

"Your melon-juice?" Jennifer asked in confusion.

"Ma'jun, it is what our people refer to Vanessa." Shar added in helpfully. "It is the woman who is selected by the husband to watch over, assist and protect the wife, and later be nanny and Godmother to the children born, watching them as the parents tend to the Amber Oogia field."

"Oh, well, why bother with that, when we can just hire someone as easily," Jennifer said dismissively. "And we CERTAINLY won't be doing any 'tending to the fields.'"

This earned a jerk from Rook and Shar.

"But...there will be some, when we tend to the fields on the trips we take to Revonnah." Rook said.

"What? Who says we're gonna be visiting some hick planet?" Jennifer said in disgust.

"That 'HICK PLANET' is our home, and where me and Blonko were born." Shar said with a heavy frown.

"Sure, sure, but he won't be going back there." Jennifer dismissed, earning shocked expressions from the boys and Shar.

"Oooooh! Someone is gonna get 'murdered.'" Argit whispered to Albedo.

"My money is on the blond." Albedo said scowling.

"BUT OF COURSE I WILL BE RETURNING TO REVONNAH!" Rook said loudly, earning a startled reaction from Jennifer.

"And speaking of places near and dear, where is your Cousin...Bendikkas" ROok clarified.

"Oh, who knows, probably off feeding his terroraunchula's." Jennifer said, letting the subject get changed.

Jennifer leaned forward, and slid her fingers over Rook's eyelids. "Close your eyes."

She said excitedly, earning eye rolls from the others.

"Sure, with the way she looks, who wouldn't?" Shar grumbled unheard by the other her poor grammar.

Jennifer pulled out sample swatches from under the couch, holding them up.

"Now open them!" Jennifer stated proudly. Rook opened his eyes, and stared at cloth.

"It's nice....what is it?" Rook asked oblivious.

"Hello!" Jennifer rudely knocked him on the head. "Fabric swatches?"

"'Fabric Swatches' What for?" Rook asked in confusion.

"If she knocks on his head like that again..." Shar growled, as Argit patted her repeatedly on the shoulder.

"Easy, don't want to get blood stain on those fabric swatches." Argit said.

"I'm redecorating this house!" Jennifer stated.

THAT got reactions from everyone, even the suit of armor and severed boars head over the fireplace.

"From 'TOP' to 'BOTTOM.'" Jennifer declared.

"Why!?" Rook asked in horror.

"This junky old furniture is SO depressing!" Jennifer said in disgust. "And the lightning in here makes everyone look so 'ghoulish.'"

"I know, it took us years to get it this way," Rook said. "When I was studying at the local plumber academy, and during winter visits here to Ma'jun."

The others smile, and nod.

"Alas, it seems that ghoulish effect doesn't seem to work on you." Albedo said eyeing Jennifer in distaste.

"Anyway, I figured we could replace these drab curtains with a velvet purple and paint the walls a nice eggshell." Jennifer continued.

Albedo stood up with a growl, throwing down his circuit onto the floor with a loud smash, but Shar held him back and instead walked over to Jennifer herself.

"Listen..." Shar cut off Jenniger, and held back something nasty. "Future-Sister, but I do not agree with your ideas of what you plan for this house!"

Jennifer scowled, and stood up and grabbing Shar by the arm, strolled her on out of the room.

"Excuse me, but are you late to TILL the soil, or something, Farmer-Girl!?" Jennifer hissed into Shar's ear.

Shar spun around to glare at Jennifer, who just casually strolled back into the living room.

"Brother! I will be helping Ma'jun prepare dinner," Shar shoots daggers into the back of Jennifer's head. "Before something UNFORTUNATE should happen."

Rook looked stunned, as Shar strolled out of sight, but Jennifer just continued like nothing had happened.

"Now, I really think we could get more light in here," Jennifer gestured to a wall. "If we simply knocked out this wall!"

Argit and Albedo chocked in horror, as Rook had his jaw hanging in disbelief.

"Who do you think you are, ordering changes to my Mother's house!?" Albedo snapped finally at Jennifer.

"More light!? The next thing you know, you're going to want to put in..." Argit gestured wildly in anger and disgust. "WALL TO WALL CARPETING!!"

Jennifer didn't seem bothered, in fact she looked grateful as her memory was jogged.

"Oh, that reminds me! The carpet people should be here any minute to give me a estimate!" Jennifer said with a smile.

"Now, what do you think, pile of shag?" Jennifer asked Rook.

Albedo turned, his red eyes seemingly burning with fire, as a low growl rumbled up his throat. Him and Argit got in close to Rook, staring at him in outrage.

"Blonko Rook, do something...." Him and Argit jerk on his arms up to his feet. "NOW!!"

Rook sighed, and with a nod he went over to Jennifer, who was examining the room, possibly coming up with more ways to 'Improve' the place. Rook put his hand firmly on her shoulder, and frowned at Jennifer.

"Jennifer, I am afraid I will have to put my foot down," Rook said causing Jennifer to stiffen. "I agree with Albedo and Argit, this house is fi-aaaah!!"

Rook yelled when Jennifer grabbed his hand in a crushing grip, and turning around she flipped Blonko over her shoulder, and through the air. And he landed on the floor with a resounding crash.

Argit and Albedo looked down at him in stunned shock.

"Well, I put my foot down..." Rook chocked. "And she put the rest of me down.."

He promptly then passed out to the horror of the men.


Downstairs in the dungeon/kitchen, Shar was with Grandpa Max and Gwen, she had stormed into the room and was promptly greeted with a amused, knowing smile from the two.

"Let me guess. My Granddaughter, Jennifer." Grandpa Max exclaimed, chopping a cleaver down on a lizard to remove it's tail. While the Lizard was still alive.

"No need to guess, I mean...she's just...I mean....UGH!!" Shar rubbed her face. "A contraction. Oh, what would mother and father think of me?"

"Nobody is perfect, Shar." Gwen reassured her, as she peeled what looked like a purple potato. "Despite what Grandma Verdona insists on, or what Jennifer CLAIMS to be."

Gwen put down the peeler, and walked over to Shar, warmly taking her hand in hers, and pulled her over to the counter.

"Here, I was gonna dirty the plates up for dinner," Gwen said. "Aunt V, went off with Grandma to hang out a bit, and keep her out of our hair."

Grandpa Max pulled up a large box, and pulled out new, white, glistening china plate ware.

"I swear, I should sue that store we bought these online from," Max said with a shudder. "They're all clean, and pristine!"

Gwen chuckled, snapping her fingers, she summoned several jar and bowls full of mud, dirt and oil.

"Don't worthy, nothing a little elbow grease and grime won't fix." Gwen said cheerfully. "I learn that from you."

Shar smiled, and unscrewed the jars for Gwen, who reached a hand in to scoop up a wad of brown mud, smacking it against a dish, and rubbing it in.

"You do get along well with your Grandfather, G..." Shar stopped. "I'm sorry, I never got your full name."

"It's Gwendolyn," Gwen said with a warm smile. "My parents weren't like Ben's, well, they're incredibly eccentric, but more...'average'."

"It is a fine name, either way." Shar said.

Gwen nods.

"Well, to answer your previous statement, Grandpa Max taught me and Ben everything we know," Gwen said as she helped smear mud on the dishes. "Math, Science, Organic Poisoning."

Shar looked impressed, and Max hugged Gwen around the shoulder.

"This little Lady, and our Ben passed their SATS and their Post Mortems ." Max said with a beaming pride.

"I am surprised Madame Verdona did not mention that." Shar asked.

Max sighed in a tired fashion.

"Verdona and I....she's cracked in the head, and I love that best about her," Max grimaced. "But the rest of her is a tad bit..."

"Normal, for our tastes. And Ben has never been the most 'socially acceptable' if you get our meaning." Gwen sighed as centipedes crawled over her fingers.

"If it weren't for Ben's parents and Us, we doubt he'd get any attention at all." Max said slapping a hand down onto a cockroach, scurrying across the table. "Mmm~ Save THAT fella for the soufflé."

"I see your points, if that is how the expression goes.." Shar said.

"Yes, that's how the expression goes." Max chuckled. "Well, Shar, your getting those plates nice and filthy."

Shar looked down, and realized she'd gotten over twenty plates covered in muck during their conversation.

"Well, I do work in the fields, dirt and grubs tend to just cling to me." Shar said with a bashful smile and blush.

"Then you and I are gonna get along just fine." Gwen said as Max chuckled.


Meanwhile in the playroom, aka the Dungeon, Albedo, Argit and Khyber were collected in the room. The two smaller beings circled Khyber, who stared at them in silent observation.

"Khyber, I cannot return to school now and leave Blonko in Jennifer Nocturne's clutches." Albedo said in determination.

"Your right, she's liable to turn him into a 'fine upstanding citizen' the Lunatic!" Argit agreed.

Khyber growled lowly, agreeing with their assessment.

Albedo stuck a light bulb into his mouth, which then began to light up, as a idea struck his cerebral cortex. He tossed the bulb to the floor, shattering it to add it's pieces to the ones already littering the floor, and proceeded to grab a large, glowing green axe.

"Let's get rid of her!" Albedo said with a psychotic grin.

Khyber growled, shaking his head at Albedo with a reproachful look.

"Nah. You know, V. She'll kill us if we ruin her best, ecto-axe." Argit said.

Albedo sighed, and gave the Axe to Khyber, who effortlessly threw it through the air. A loud 'THUNK' and a cat shrieking was heard.

"I know!" Argit said his quill straightening in excitement. "Why don' we scare Nocturne off?"

Albedo's red eyes brightened in glee.

"Yes! We'll convince her this place is a death trap!" Albedo said with a grin. "For a slack-jawed, amoral, road kill relative, con artist you do have good ideas."

Argit frowned as Albedo hurried off.

"Thanks?" Argit said looking up doubtfully at Khyber, who sighed.


In the main hall, they stared up the long, tall stairs, which were covered with black pool balls.

"Then she'll slip on the 8-balls, fall through the trap door," Albedo turns to look up at Khyber with a sick grin. "Into a vat of hydrochloric acid!"

Khyber smirked with a nod, as Argit cackled.

"Oh, brilliant, little one. You know your traps." Khyber praised.

"Ready?" Argit asked them excitedly.

"Yesssss..." Khyber hissed with sadistic glee.

"Jennifer!" Argit called out.

No response.

"Oh, Jennifer!" Albedo called out now.

Still nothing.

"JENNIFER!!!" Albedo screamed in anger.

Khyber, Argit and Albedo's eyes widened in horror, as Rook came out of the doorway, dressed in a purple blouse, half unbuttoned and dress slacks of the same color.

"If you are looking for Jennifer, she is..." Rook let out a yell of alarm, as he slipped on the balls and landed on the landing of the stairs.

Luckily, the trap door didn't open.

And then it did.

"Ahhhh!!" Rook cried out.

Khyber's eyes widened in alarm and a mighty splash was soon heard from the dungeons, where Rook landed in the large vat.

This startles Max, Gwen and Shar, as they're sawing the legs off a large roach.

"Huh, so that vat wasn't for the Spa Day verdona was planning..." Max said in surprise.

"ROOK! Blonko! Brother! Rook!"

Argit and Albedo hurried over to look down the trap door, and Gwen, Shar and Max hurried over to the large vat.

"Blonko! Are you alright?" Shar asked her brother.

Hissing was heard as Rook reached a hand out to grab the edge of the vat, and pulled himself half way out. Completely nude, even his fur had been burned off by the acid.

"Hey, Rook, nothing like Hydrochloric Acid to soothe your aching muscles, right?" Argit said with a nervous smile.

Rook glared up through the trap door, and spat out some acid from his mouth, which cause Gwen and Shar to jump back with a shriek of surprise.


After that snafu, Argit decided to plan the next trap, while Rook took a chemical bath to get the acid off him. And a potion from Vanessa to regrow his fur.

"There." Argit said pulling a long tripwire tightly at the bottom of the front door. Khyber and Albedo stepped up to him with intrigue in their eyes.

"Now here's how it works," Argit starts to explain. "I tell Jennifer there's a delivery for her at the front gate. She comes running out of the house, trips on the wire, which triggers the rope, drops the sack of flour on her head and knocks her down the steps!"

"Brutal. Simple, and less chance of being reduced to bones but not without its own charm." Albedo compliments.


Meanwhile, Bendikkas was wandering through the house, observing the avant garde and, dare he think it, macabre interior design theme. Entering one of the lounges, Bendikkas hardly noticed Rook, fresh out of his chemical bath and trying to fight off a headache, until he jumped up with a smile and greeted the brunette.

“Blonko! You startled me!” Ben exclaimed with a pleasantly surprised smile before turning away and adding lowly, “I like that.”

Rook grinned at that. He then took notice of what Bendikkas had been examining and said, “I see you’ve discovered cousins Otis and Redding,” referring to the framed picture of two young, conjoined twins.

“Handsome, aren’t they?” Bendikkas commented.

“But they fought like cats and dogs,” Rook said.

“Really?” Bendikkas asked.

“Yes,” Rook answered, “Otis always wanted to work on his tan, but Redding, he hated to go outside unless it was raining.”

“I’m on Redding’s side,” Bendikkas said before turning to Rook, “I love the rain.”

“You do?” Rook asked in pleasant surprise.

Bendikkas nodded his head.

“What about hurricanes, flash floods, and lightning storms?” Rook asked, the final item in his list being punctuated by the sound of lightning.

“Oh, yessss,” Bendikkas hissed, eyes semi-closed as he turned away and allowed his mind to wander to glorious imagery of white-hot bolts of energy streaking across the sky at the speed of light. “The shock of the bolt as it strikes your body. The tingle of your hair standing on end. The feel of electricity as it stops your heart.”

As Bendikkas spoke, Rook felt his heartbeat quicken as he leaned in closer to Ben. In that moment, Rook had never witnessed anything more glorious than this young man waxing (sensual) poetic about lightning. He was so entranced, that the shrill, sing-song call of, “BLO-NKOOOO!” shook him back to the present.

“Oh! There you are!” Jennifer exclaimed as she entered the room. “Now, let’s talk about the honeymoon!”

Rook instantly frowned at having this moment with Bendikkas ruined. What’s more, Jennifer’s mere presence instantly seemed to shut Bendikkas down. The young man almost visibly folded into himself, trying to appear quiet, passive, and demure…everything Rook new Bendikkas was not.

It made him angry.

“Honeymoon?!” Rook growled out in displeasure.


Blonko wasn't the only one displeased, as Vanessa was playing a game of Poker with Verdona, she looked up at Khyber as he set down a tray with glasses full of bubbling, sizzling, red drinks and gasped.

"KHYBER!" Vanessa gasped. "What happened to you!?"

Khyber was shown in a clean cut, pristine white tuxedo, nothing like his old outfit of leather, bloodstains, knife holsters and animals bones.

"Jennifer..." Khyber growled in anger.

"Oh, is that so?" Vanessa huffed. "Well, tell her, that I told you, that she doesn't tell you what to wear. You are your own person, and MY son. Now, get out of that suit young man, before the neighbors see!"

Khyber growled in joy, ripping off his top, exposing his rippling muscles, and hurried off.

"I thought he looked rather nice," Verdona said. "And besides, Jennifer was just making a suggestion, he didn't HAVE to put it on."

Vanessa gave Verdona a stare.

"Verdona, if that girl is anything like you, she won't take 'NO' for a answer, unless someone bloodies her nose. Remember Lance Steel?" Vanessa reminded her friend.

Verdona huffed, puffing her cheeks in annoyance.

"I only said he should put on a nice sweater ten times," Verdona growled shuffling her cards. "And he didn't have to cut off my skin either."

"Well, you got back at him," Vanessa huffed sipping her drink. "That scar on his face sure hasn't faded."


Vanessa and Verdona startled, as Gwen and Shar came into the room.

"What was that!?" Verdona asked in alarm.

"I'd say that was Blonko..." Vanessa said holding a hand to her chest.

"But to use contractions!?" Shar gasped. "Our father would wash his mouth out with muroid dung!"

"Dung?" Gwen asked dubiously.

"It would be cleaner then the contractions, he would say." Shar explains.


"I don't believe this, you're refusing me!?" Jennifer shrieked in disbelief.

"You are to be my wife, we are to be married solely because it is an arranged matter, there is NOTHING that says I have to do anything else with you. And I will CERTAINLY not be going on any Honeymoon, nor letting you have the run of the place!"

Rook finished his rant, and is rubbing his forehead as he tried to relieve the stress, and Ben hurried to his side in concern.

"Blonko, you can't mean that!" Ben asked in shock. "I know she's a little much, but Jennifer is my cousin and Family!"

"Well, she is not mine, or we would not be getting married!" Rook huffed, calming down at Ben's touch.

Jennifer looked like she was on the verge of a break down, tears pouring from her face, as mascara ran down her cheeks. And as she smeared them away with her handkerchief, she did look a lot better in Rook's opinion.

"I just...I just...I just..." Jennifer sobbed grossly.

"Hey, Jennifer, there's a delivery for you from Pakmar's House of Vile," Argit corrects himself as he comes into the room. "I mean 'Style.'"

Rook snarled.

"I'll get it. And tell them to send it back!" Rook shouts.

Rook brushed off Ben, who looks alarmed, Jennifer is still sobbing, and Argit is panicking.

"Bro, no! WAIT!" Argit cried out.

And in the main hall, Gwen and Shar were seen standing next to the table Vanessa and Verdona were at.

"Aunt Verdona, I just wanted to say that I look upon this venture with grim apprehension and gloomy foreboding." Shar said to Verdona.

"What!?" Verdona exclaimed.

"She said 'that this union between Rook and Jennifer isn't a great idea.'" Gwen said.

"Oh...." Verdona said with a frown.

"I have to agree," Vanessa said with a concerned look. "I should've met with Jennifer before hand, and quite frankly...well, that is to say. Maybe we're 'pushing things' a bit."

Everyone jumps when they hear Blonko come into the room before they see him, just chanting the same words.


And is chased by Argit, who's too late as Rook barges out the front door, and slams it shut behind him. Argit spins around, and backs himself up against the door with his arms spread out with a look of mortification, as a loud thud and yell of pain is heard outside.

He then hurriedly gets out of the room, three of the women watching as Verdona just laughs it off.

"Nonsense, Vee. Blonko and Jennifer are PERFECT for each other." Verdona said assured.

"Yeah, if she remembers to take her medicine..." Gwen mumbles.

Before Shar can question that, Rook comes into the room from the front door, covered in flour with a surly expression on his face.

"Ohhhhhhh Arrrrrrgit!" Rook called out with a psychotic grin on his face.

He stalks across the room with a determined look on his face.


In the greenhouse was Bendikkas, who had tended to his cousin the best he could, but eventually, Verdona and Max came to take her away to take a nap, and her pills. To take his mind off it all, Ben was holding gardening shears, and clipping the heads off a bunch of roses.

Ben glanced up, and saw Rook coming into the room, hands a little bloody, and a lot calmer then before. He smiled at Bendikkas, his eyes focused on the brunette, who blushes at the attention.

"I hope you don't mind, I found these growing in your garden and noticed they were blossoming." Bendikkas said holding up the three remaining blossoming roses.

"I never knew roses could be so lovely," Blonko exclaimed as Ben smiled at Rook. "Bendikkas..."

"Yes, Blonko?" Bendikkas asked.

"How about a walk?" Rook offered.


A large dorsal fin of a shark, or shark like creature, pierced through the fog rolling across the muddy ground of the backyard. It expanded out for miles it seemed, the cold moonlight of the half moon shining down on them all, the dead trees, the various intrigue gravestones, the creatures hiding in the shadows. Truly, it was a breathtaking sight.

Bendikkas walked out with Rook, the stems of the roses he beheaded held in his hands, truly a glorious sight in Rook's eyes.

"I love cemeteries, their so...Gloomy." Ben said with a happy smile.

"Unfortunately, your Cousin Jennifer doesn't think so," Rook said with a heavy sigh, taking his eyes off Ben briefly. "She wants to build a pool here."

"A pool?" Ben turned with a frown to Rook. "Whatever for?"

"I do not know, to swim in?" Rook asked in confusion.

Ben gave a amused laugh, shaking his head.

"I love Jen dearly, but she does have some strange ideas." Ben admits.

"Why do you..." Rook started to ask, but shook his head when Ben looked at him.

"No, never mind.."

"No, please, what is it?" Bendikkas asked.

"Well, why...why do you act so...withdrawn when she's around?" Rook asked, noticing how Ben becomes sheepish. "I am not trying to offend you, but you act so differently, and I wonder...does she abuse you?"

Bendikkas looked up in alarm.

"Oh no, not at all!" Bendikkas said in alarm. "She wouldn't dare, Grandpa Max and my parents would have her dipped in pickle juice and fed to wild weasels."

Rook smiled at that image, but wiped the smile off when Ben looked at him with sad eyes.

"I do it for her benefit, I have a tendency to become the center of attention," Ben admits. "I mean, despite what Grandma says, everyone laughs and has a great time when they hear what I have to say."

Bendikkas frowned.

"But Jennifer, she felt ignored, unwanted, and her home life wasn't helping," Bendikkas sighed. "It's gotten to the point, where she tried to do harm to herself, we stopped her of course. And she's getting therapy, but she's still so...sensitive."

Rook gaped.

"Does that give her the excuse to judo flip me when I disagree with her!?" Rook asked in heated disbelief.

"Oh no!" Ben turned, trying to cover up a laugh. "Has she started doing that again!? I'm afraid it's a side effect of her mood medicine, at least...until you made her cry."

Rook growled, biting his lower lip.

"I understand....she cannot help it due to mental illness, and ordinarly, that would be a welcome relief." Rook sighed heavily.

"But she keeps saying how we're going to do this, and do that, but I just don't WANT to do those things. I don't even want this marriage."

Ben nods in sad acceptance.

"Yeah, and I know it isn't right to make yourself miserable for another persons sake," Bendikkas admits. "But she's such a fragile girl, I try my best not to get her set off."

Ben looked down at his rose stems.

"Still, in spite of it all, I believe she'll make a fine wife." Ben said.

"For someone else perhaps." Rook said bluntly.

Bendikkas looked up, sadden to hear it, but sighed. Rook looked around, rubbing his hands on his pants to get the clinging moisture off.


"Oh please, you may call me 'Ben.' Bendikkas said with a smile.

"Ben...are you engaged to anyone?" Rook asked.

"Me? No..." Rook beams a bright smile. "Well, not yet." And the smile shatters like a broken mirror.

"Grandma is in the process of arranging my marriage to Michael Morningstar," Ben looked at Rook curiously. "Isn't he your Ma'jun's son?"

"DARKSTAR!?" Rook shouts in horror. "A greater rake has never been born! My mother herself loathes and detests him, trust me, Ben. He's all wrong for you!!"

Ben nods, agreeing with Rook's words, since he seemed to be of sound judgment.

"Well, I guess Grandma, or Grandpa haven't met the right man for me yet." Ben said casually.

"Oh, are.." Rook said making a helpless gesture, earning a laugh from Ben.

"Gay as spring time? Yes, Sir." Ben said playfully. "And they're accepting of it. Otherwise, they wouldn't be trying to arrange my marriage to the right guy, who's into guys."

Rook seemed to get impassioned, and looked at Ben hard, the two stopping their walk around in front of the doors to the house.

"Maybe she has and she just doesn't know it." Rook said breathing heavily.

Ben turns to look at Rook startled, and their eyes meet, they seem lost in each others gaze. A powerful magnetism pulling them closer, closer and closer towards each other.

"Blonko...I....your staring at me like a ravenous beast," Ben gasped. "Ready to gorge yourself on my flesh."

He moves to push Blonko away, but Rook grabs at Ben's hand, and stares at it with increasing passionate hunger.

"And I mean to eat up everyone inch of you, my delicious one!" Rook growled.

Ben was stunned, dropping the stems to the ground, and they seemed to create a loud sound when they fall like pots and pans on a tiled floor, but the two are engrossed in each other. And Rook presses Ben's fingers to his own lips, feverishly kissing the digits one by one, causing Ben to moan with passion as Rook's mouth trailed up and over every square inch of Bendikkas hand, and started up Ben's wrist, sucking on the pulse, and dragging his fangs across Ben's skin.

The boy quivered in ecstasy, his eyes shutting as he let the feeling of Rook's mouth bring him such pleasure. So involved were they in each other, that by the time Rook reached Blonko's elbow, they didn't notice Jennifer in a wedding dress, running out of the house and up to the two.

She paused with a horrified gasp, staring at the two in disbelief.

"BLONKO!! BENDIKKAS!!!" Jennifer wailed in angry sorrow.

Blonko and Bendikkas froze, their eyes going wide in surprise. They quickly jumped apart before turning to face Jennifer. Barely doing it fast enough when Verdona and Vanessa came out into the yard after hearing Jennifer.

“Jennifer, it’s not what it looks like!” Bendikkas said.

“It isn’t?” Blonko asked in surprise, before recognizing that nothing had really changed between him and Bendikkas, but for the sake of saving face they had to deny it. “It isn’t,” he stated.

“You see, Jennifer, Blonko was just kissing my arm as practice for when he’s married,” Bendikkas explained, trying to will away the blush that had come to appear on his face.

“That’s right! For when we’re married!” Blonko confirmed.

“MARRIED?!” Jennifer shrieked joyfully, before pushing Bendikkas to the side. “I accept!” She then grabbed Blonko’s head and pulled him into a kiss.

“I hope Blonko’s heart-felt proposal puts your doubts about this union to rest,” Verdona said. “You can see for himself, he really loves Jennifer!”

Verdona let out her high pitched laughter, but Vanessa frowned still unsure.

‘Hardly,’ Blonko thought to himself, forcing himself to go through the motions of being affectionate towards Jennifer without any of the passion he’d shown Bendikkas.

Later, Blonko sullenly entered the study where he kept his model train set. Bendikkas stood before it, starring at it morbidly.

“Hello, Bendikkas.”


Blonko winced. The hurt in Bendikkas’ voice was palpable. And knowing that he was partially to blame for it hurt.

“I suppose I should congratulate you now that your wedding’s official,” Bendikkas continued.

“Oh, that,” Blonko replied just as his model train split in two and began moving in opposite directions. “One train going west. The other, east. Destined never to cross paths again.”

As one, both Blonko and Bendikkas let out a deep, melancholic sigh.

Suddenly, Bendikkas was struck with inspiration. “What if they were to crash head-on?” He then reached over and flipped a switch, causing one half of the train to move in a different direction.

“Rust together for eternity,” Blonko answered, a wistful smile on his face. And then inspiration struck him as well. “Better still! What if they were to go up together in a ball of fire!” He then reached down and a small box with a push-down handle. “Here, you take this,” he said, handing the box to Bendikkas, “and when the two trains reach that bridge…WHAM!”

The two then watched in anticipation as the two segments of the train rushed to meet at the bridge. Blonko placed his hand gently atop Bendikkas’; if they were to do this, they would do it together.

And just as planned, right when the two segments were a split-second from crashing, they pushed the handle down, causing the bridge and the two train segments to explode in a glorious blaze!

As the smoke cleared, Bendikkas, overcome by the passionate display, huskily spoke, “Šis ugnis sunaikino mano sielą!”

“That strange feeling is coming over me again,” Blonko said, turning to face Bendikkas. “Ben, say something in Lithuanian, just one more time?”

Leaning in close, Bendikkas whispered, “Kaip nori.”

Upon hearing those two words, Blonko found himself overcome. Wrapping his arms around Bendikkas he said, “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can’t help it!”

“I could help it,” Bendikkas replied, haughtily, “but I don’t want to!”

And without hesitation, their lips met in a kiss as fiery and glorious as the fried trains before them.

"Oh, Bendikkas," Blonko moaned. "I've been in love with you since the moment I first laid eyes on you."

Bendikkas gasped at the contraction.

"And I with you!" Bendikkas said swooning.

Argit, Albedo, Gwen and Shar entered the room, gasping at the sight of Ben and Blonko passionately kissing each other. They quickly turn around to leave, Shar looks about ready to step forward and say something, but Gwen forms a mana gag on the revonnaghander girl, and drags her out of the room.

Every few minutes, they keep coming back in to check on the two, and find them still kissing.

It's five hours later, and the two are still kissing, even when the others come back.

"Well, at least this is ALL they've been doing." Gwen said assuringly to Shar.

"Yes, but who knew my brother could make kissing look so....debauched!" Shar gasped.

"Well, as much as the thought of Jennifer finding them like this, and dying on the spot." Albedo said.

Gwen smacked him on the arm for that, as Argit steps forward.

"Blonko, I hate to interrupt. But Verdona and Jennifer are outside in a pink miata." Argit said.

Blonko and Ben's eyes shot open, the both of them pulling apart in alarm.

"What do we do?" Ben asked in alarm.

"Tell them to put it in the garage, before the neighbors see it?" Albedo remarked.

"Wait, I got it!" Blonko said snapping his fingers.

He grinned, pulling a surprised Bendikkas into another passionate kiss. Shar come over and pulls them apart.

"Will you keep your burning passion restrained!?" Shar scolds. "I understand, it's great to have found your Heart's Flame, but still!"

"But, Shar, look at him!" Blonko gestures to Bendikkas adoringly.

Before Shar can retort, a high pitch voice is heard calling out.

"Ohhhhhhhh Blooooooonko! I GOT CHINA PATTERNS!!" Jennifer called out.

Everyone gasped, shuddering in horror.

"Oh no, she's flipped!" Argit exclaimed.

"Run! Run while we still have our sanity....or lack there of!" Albedo said hurriedly.

"Quick, I know just the place!" Rook said.


After that, everyone found themselves in the dungeon of the Mansion.

Shar was passing in front of Rook and Bendikkas, looking resigned.

"What are you two going to do?" Shar looks at them with a small smile. "You are clearly crazy for each other, to coin a earth phrase."

"Yes, clearly, Grandma Verdona picked the wrong cousin to pair with Rook." Gwen sighed.

"I can't come between Rook and Jennifer," Bendikkas said resigned. "I love him, but I love her too. And I don't want to be the reason she's admitted to a mental asylum, or attempts suicide...."

"Again" Ben and Gwen said at the same time.

"I also gave my word I would marry Jennifer." Rook said sorrowfully.

"Curse our family honor!" Shar said devastated. She began swinging a spiked ball on a chain in depressed manner.

"Tragic. Just Tragic."

"In love with one woman." Gwen pipes up. "Promised to another, it's like a greek play, or Shakespeare, or Young and the Restless."

"Shakespeare?" Shar asked confused.

"He is a playwright, he did the play 'Romeo and Juliet." Rook explained.

Shar released the ball, and it slammed into a wall of mana Gwen shot up, shattering the ball to pieces.

"That is it! You can do what Romeo and Juliet did!" Argit said. "What did they do?"

"Why, they committed suicide!" Bendikkas said.

"But....aren't we trying to PREVENT Jennifer from doing that, yet YOU want to do it instead?" Albedo asked confused.

"Yes, it does seem to clash with the idea." Shar said.

"Besides, we love you guys." Gwen said upset. "Life would be no fun without you two around, you can't kill yourselves!"

"Awww. Sister Gwen, you are a true gem." Blonko said hugging Gwen, who blushed with a smile and giggle.

Blonko walked back over to Bendikkas, the two hugging each other closely, looking so sad.

"Oh Blonko, what are we going to do?" Bendikkas asked.


Back to the Present

Everyone watched as Rook and Blonko leaned against each other, cheek to cheek, looking a little downhearted as they recalled their past.

"You didn't REALLY kill yourselves, did you?" Bailey asked in concern.

That got confused, and amused expressions from her parents and the others.

"Here, Bai, have some more paint chips." Devlin said, hoping it would keep her quiet.

"No, my daughter, we did not. But I did come perilously close to marrying Jennifer," Blonko said.

"And I to losing the only man I ever loved." Ben said patting Rook's cheek.

Blonko took Ben's hand in his and kissed the back of it worshipfully.

"Flamara, you could NEVER lose me," Blonko said passionately.

The two were suddenly wrapped up in each others arms, kissing passionately, holding and kissing each other with a passion.

"Come on, Papa, Father, finish the story." Ren pleads.

Vanessa chuckled.

"I think the rest of the story is gonna have to wait until tomorrow." Vanessa laughed.

"Come along, kids." Grandpa Max said. "Let's go out into the cemetery, and see if we can dig up someone new."

"Okay!" The Kids cried out joyfully.

"I'll go get the shovel." Devlin said.

"I'll get the crowbar." Bailey said.

"I'll get my proto-tool, in case anyone is still alive." Ren said darkly.

And so, everyone left the living room, leaving Ben and Rook to make out, and make love on the couch.

The story to continue, in Part 2 of Bendikkas Romance.
Commission-Kiss the Cook
"What do you mean he's not wearing that shirt? Since when did I need a excuse to kiss him?" Vanessa asked.


Seriously, Sanji needs more love and affection, and my OC Vanessa, Dark Spectre Queen of the Ocean is madly in love with Sanji, and will give that love. ^////^


This commission was drawn by :iconarapetabrylee: A while back, 40$ But so worth it :)
Angel Face Devil's Heart
Drawn by LeMonisa I paid for this maybe three months or so ago, but worth the wait.

My Evil OC Lady Despair aka Sierra D'sparye.


"Sierra D'spayre was born as a woman with a demon's soul." Vanessa warned. "She is malefic, negative and completely destructive as her knowledge of the occult gives her tremendous power to alter the course of fate, and people's lives. But often to do harm."
Copied :iconwhitelighter5:

There's a hacker lurking around DeviantART that will change your password and post inappropriate pics on your account.

They will post bad pictures only if they hack your account. If they found out you posted a journal entry about this warning, they will know what's up and they won't hack your account. They will also be posting journal entries saying things like "I hate you all! Go die!" and remove all your watchers. The best thing you could do now is copy this warning and post for all your friends and watchers to see and spread the word! The hacker will go around hacking accounts and block your friends to get your friends to block you back, get you in trouble, and get you banned from DeviantART.

If you want to save your account, you should make a journal entry with this warning to keep the hacker from hacking your account. So, SPREAD THE WORD!!!


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Jakamural Featured By Owner 1 day ago  New Deviant  Digital Artist
Thank you for the faves :)
Prometheus273 Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks very much for the fave!
bbb35 Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Welcome :D
The-Nemian-Lion Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Phenomenal artwork!
bbb35 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2018
Well, I commissioned it, the artists deserve the praise, and some do it for great prices.
The-Nemian-Lion Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
OOOooooh, yeah that's all good! They did a hell of a job! Fantastic. :)
bbb35 Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Yep, some for good prices if your interested, I also do writing commissions for fair price, just saying.

So, let me know if you want to commison one of those artist, I'll check for ya, and maybe refer to you for discount, or something. ^^;
LJ-Phillips Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2018  Professional
Many thanks for faving Lavender Swan. Much appreciated :D
bbb35 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2018
Always there for you my soul sibling.
ariel025 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for the Watch. :happybounce: I am a dummy! 
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