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Barosus's avatar

The Question

By Barosus
29 Favourites
 Image by Comfreak from Pixabay 

Inspired by a conversation with my dear friend


Her her sweet spirit be rewarded 
With the fulfilment of all her sweetest dreams

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Β© 2020 - 2021 Barosus
anonymous's avatar
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Miss-Valora-Art's avatar

What is there to gain

From giving in

To endless hatred

From giving up

Any chances to see

What there is to gain

Barosus's avatar

Thanks for another amazing response poem!πŸΊπŸ’–βœ¨

Hate has no profit

It is merely a force

Of pure destruction

And the first thing

That it ever destroys

Its the hater's own

Ability to see beauty

DMSalesman's avatar

At last - my final critique is once more aimed at you, and I'll pretend I blame your abundance of fine poetry for this. Now then, let's begin.

First and foremost, let me open by saying that your usual brand of mixing poetry with an image is flawless in this one.

Both the ship on the left and the font you picked are perfectly in tune with the poem itself, not to mention the text's color. The latter manages to emerge from the background while simultaneously blending into it such that the artwork's spirit is preserved. Excellent balance.

As for the poem - I noticed it's free-verse, so I can't really ramble on its technical half.

However, its message is of a deep nature, and I daresay I'd be almost disappointed if your poems didn't always hide an existential side by now.

There's nothing for me to nitpick on, in here.

Both the message and the way you prettified it is perfect, not to mention that you don't resort to convoluted artifices that would obscure your poem's meaning, as I found to be common in free-verse poetry.

As always, keep up the nice work!

This critique brought to you by We Three Pirate Kings, Merry Critmas!

Barosus's avatar

After reading your critique, I am really glad that you picked this poem rather than my latest one. I just got done trying to rework an old rambling, rather directionless freeverse poem from my first days on here. I went back and read it a couple of days ago and cringed so hard. It fit your exact point about what is so often wrong with freeverse. Even the updated version is still too long, overly bombastic, and messy. However, I wanted to still keep the gist of the original rambling, disjointed mess and just try to refine it. So, it is what it is and I am breathing a sigh of relief you picked this one. I am happy to know you liked the cut of this one's jib.

Thanks so much for the kind words about the font and how the text is displayed. That was actually part of the composition that I agonized over. I tried several other ways to get the text to pop against the back ground, and they just weren't working. I was really loathe to create a text box and partially obscure some of the image, because doing so effectively camouflages the floating barrel and the anchor.

I really am only a rudimentary photomanipulation artist. Naturally, in the end, I had to opt to showcase the text since that is obviously the thrust of the work anyway. But, I am very happy you liked the aesthetics of the graphics more this time. In fact, this critique was so glowing that I am practically blushing. LOL

blush icon

DMSalesman's avatar

For being a rudimentary photomanipulation artist, you certainly don't lack sensitivity to details - and I'm honestly sure you could restructure that old piece into something that pleases you.

Still, even if it turns out your poem fights your good faith, then even leaving it in its original form makes sense.

Some writings are just what they are and refuse to change.

Barosus's avatar

I think the revised one came out alright. I am getting more comments etc. on it than I expected, especially considering it is plain text.

LindArtz's avatar
Barosus's avatar

Thanks! πŸ’–βœ¨βœ¨

Bubblegumdove's avatar

Yes, yes this is so true. It reminds me of "If you wouldn't go to someone for advice, then why would you be concerned with their criticism?" πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Barosus's avatar

Or the old, "Don' be concerned what people think of you because, chances are, they are not thinking of you at all."

I'm glad you liked it.

PrecariouslyPeculiar's avatar

I choose the green life preserver that's shaped a bit like a frog :aww: (Also, such a lovely aesthetic :love: )

Barosus's avatar

Awww. That life preserver will do its best to carry you to safety for sure. πŸΈπŸ’–

And, thank you! I'm glad you liked it. πŸ€—πŸ€—

PrecariouslyPeculiar's avatar
LiterarySerenity's avatar
Barosus's avatar

The only sensible choice. ^_^

LiterarySerenity's avatar
1meganstrong's avatar
What a miserable ghost 🙄
Barosus's avatar

Terror..Ahhh..Onion ACK! Where! (dives for cover) You're not haunting me, you stinker! I'm calling Ghostbusters! (the last thing I want is an invisible man sleepin' in my bed) who you gonna call LOL

1meganstrong's avatar
Barosus's avatar

Reiji Mitsurugi (Bow) [V2] Thank You! Thank you! lol

1meganstrong's avatar
You are too funny 😂
Barosus's avatar

I think you are just especially appreciative, Bright Eyes. Thanks for always making me feel special.

Yup, that's me, "special Ed." LOL πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ🀣🀣

1meganstrong's avatar
Not in a bad way. 😂
You are awesome. 🤗💙
Barosus's avatar

I am almost stunned by how strongly you protest whenever i try to be the least bit self-disparaging. I hardly know what to say. I get the distinct impression that if I ever said something really negative about myself, you would be the first person to jump up and argue that it isn't true. I hardly know what to say. But, you practically brought tears to my eyes, I felt so appreciated. Layla, you are the best! Okay, now I am crying happy tears. I am so sappy, but my gosh, you blessed the crap out my lil froggy heart!


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anonymous's avatar
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