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Deviant for 12 Years
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So, the shithead that turned on me most recently, now lives in fear. Its written all over his face. It amuses me deeply. He works in security and ended up at the place I work, so when I clocked out to leave, he was at the door with some partner. As soon as I passed IMMEDIATELY he looks at the floor and suddenly falls silent. Well, to be fair, if I looked like a bathtub full of lard with an oversized eye like some abomination from a monster movie, I'd shut the fuck up too. 

The piece of shit didn't even stick to his diet, now hes a disgusting jiggling mass of wasted space.

But it amuses me to feel his fear as I pass. So, I smiled. Don't have a heart attack, walrus. 

In other news... Hmm... well, nothing good has happened, if thats what you're wondering. So I started training harder. Some fool challenged me to Smash Bros. I look forward to crushing his dreams... 
I found that I still could not consume enough alcohol to lose my composure. I just feel less doubt, thats it. Then in about 4 hours my stomach hates me for drinking. But hey, I drank everyone at the party, under the table. Again. Victory is a victory I guess.

Oh.
I guess I haven't been here since it happened, but girl I had a crush on for 8 years turned me down.
I expected it. But it was still depressing. So now I'm pretty much numb, 'cos honestly that was the last thing I was banking on for staying away from being dark and brooding all the time. So.. now I'm dark and brooding MOST of the time... 'cos ADHD sometimes makes me just inexplicably cheerful, and also I tend to break into fits of maniacal laughter when people set me off, their suffering feeds me when they pick a fight with me and don't know what they're getting themselves into.

So I guess thats that for the bad ending. I just go completely insane and stop caring about anything... well.
Mostly. The few people who made it into my heart before that are all that keeps me breathing. 
That.... and my undying rage has not subsided. I am not satisfied with the enemy merely fearing for the rest of their days that I might return... I WILL return.
And I already have my sights set on a new target... 

If I'm not allowed to be human, then I will just enjoy torturing them psychologically until they burn out. 

Activity


So, the shithead that turned on me most recently, now lives in fear. Its written all over his face. It amuses me deeply. He works in security and ended up at the place I work, so when I clocked out to leave, he was at the door with some partner. As soon as I passed IMMEDIATELY he looks at the floor and suddenly falls silent. Well, to be fair, if I looked like a bathtub full of lard with an oversized eye like some abomination from a monster movie, I'd shut the fuck up too. 

The piece of shit didn't even stick to his diet, now hes a disgusting jiggling mass of wasted space.

But it amuses me to feel his fear as I pass. So, I smiled. Don't have a heart attack, walrus. 

In other news... Hmm... well, nothing good has happened, if thats what you're wondering. So I started training harder. Some fool challenged me to Smash Bros. I look forward to crushing his dreams... 
I found that I still could not consume enough alcohol to lose my composure. I just feel less doubt, thats it. Then in about 4 hours my stomach hates me for drinking. But hey, I drank everyone at the party, under the table. Again. Victory is a victory I guess.

Oh.
I guess I haven't been here since it happened, but girl I had a crush on for 8 years turned me down.
I expected it. But it was still depressing. So now I'm pretty much numb, 'cos honestly that was the last thing I was banking on for staying away from being dark and brooding all the time. So.. now I'm dark and brooding MOST of the time... 'cos ADHD sometimes makes me just inexplicably cheerful, and also I tend to break into fits of maniacal laughter when people set me off, their suffering feeds me when they pick a fight with me and don't know what they're getting themselves into.

So I guess thats that for the bad ending. I just go completely insane and stop caring about anything... well.
Mostly. The few people who made it into my heart before that are all that keeps me breathing. 
That.... and my undying rage has not subsided. I am not satisfied with the enemy merely fearing for the rest of their days that I might return... I WILL return.
And I already have my sights set on a new target... 

If I'm not allowed to be human, then I will just enjoy torturing them psychologically until they burn out. 
  • Listening to: Sinä Saatana - Turmion Kätilöt
I hold Grudges. No surprise there to those that know me. Don't start with the 'but its bad for you' spiel. Its apart of me at this point and has become effortless.

Now, with that outa the way, one in particular bothers me. Especially because of the irony...
Former friend of mine turned on me 'cos... *shrug* whatever, I guess. Iunno I really have no idea why she flipped the fuck out all the time and would just start insulting me. Honestly..
......
..... Y'know honestly thats the beginning of alot of my grudges. What the fucking hell, people?

Ugh, anyway.... It always bothered me she'd get to yell at me basically for free, but I'd have like 3-4 people come also scream at me for defending myself. 
Its always going to bother me, too. 'cos No one ever stood up for ME. Just her little posse always coming to try and step on me 'cos how dare I not just drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness. 

Anyway. Yeah. so thats my impression of people.
So. There goes another dead friendship.
Honestly, I want to believe it when other friends tell me it wasn't worth having. Really though... it probably wasn't. I'm starting to find that anyone I meet in Reno, is just...... invariably a piece of shit. 
I hate being able to say that, but honest to fucking god: Fuck this place. I never want to live in Reno ever again. Now is my chance to get the hell away from this wretched hell hole of a city...

On a side note. I'm debating whether or not to be more aggressive instead of accepting, from now on. I'm thinking that I'll ask where people are from, when they start to talk to me. If they're from Nevada at all, or have lived there for more than 2 years and/or like it there, I'll probably just default to extreme distrust from here on out. 

I... need to know when to stop being kind, and to just rip into some one. 
You fucking ungrateful piece of trash. You disgusting little selfish man-child. Really, you want to talk about negativity?
You want to fucking tell ME, that IM the negative one, the person who goes out of his fucking way, CONSTANTLY, to help others, just because I love to see them happy? 
Alright then you piece of fucking shit, I regret being kind to your disgusting ass, 'cos all you do is live by double standards and refuse to acknowledge that you're nothing more than a bottom feeder. All you do is prey on other people and then treat them like they're beneath you. Everything you hate, short of drug addict, is what you ARE.
You think you're better than anyone else? you backwater fucking hick? You're more disgusting than at least HALF of the people you have ever ridiculed, you can't even take care of yourself! Can't even fucking pass school you piece of shit.

How fucking dare you have the nerve to say I'm the negative one. But I forgot, you're of the generation where its okay to be a thin skinned pathetic little runt. Fine you fucking coward, run away, like everyone else. I'll hunt you down too, you're nothing but the enemy now. You and the rest of your disgusting kind. Now the fucking gloves are off and the next time we meet, there will BE no kindness. No Mercy.
There is no mercy for traitors. Scum.
  • Listening to: Powerkranz - Triple Q
  • Drinking: Crown Royal
So. My original assessment was correct. Turns out, no matter how much I drink, I can't shake... well, Me.
This was a waste of 60+ dollars. Now I have a gallon, plus, of alcohol I don't want.

Ugh.... it was foolish of me to think it'd work for long. I'm so sorry I even tried this. 

I just can't feel angry. That doesn't mean I can't feel sad. So I've fucked up my own defense mechanism. This is some how even WORSE than normal.
Well.... mistakes have been made. I wont bother with this again.

deviantID

Baratus
United States
Favourite photographer: Dont have one
Favourite style of art: dont have one
Favourite cartoon character: Dizzy, Sakuya, Suwako, Youmu,Suika ,<insert 40% of Touhou Cast here> dont care what anyone say
Personal Quote: I dont need luck, just alot of aspirin...
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:iconqueshy:
Queshy Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015   Writer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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:iconbaratus:
Baratus Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015
<.<; thank you
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:iconseh-art:
SEH-art Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015
Thanks for the fave :)
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:iconbaratus:
Baratus Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015
*nod*
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Student Writer
I hope you're doing alright, and sorry I'm so slow with my replies. Merry Christmas! :iconasnowmanplz:
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