I come out here for peace and quiet.
Thats not exactly true, but the last several times I have come out here to thos isolated desert pass, it has been a crossroads between dimensions.
I come out here to kill myself but I still javent been able to do it in the end, something stops me each time after several days of peace and quiet.
The bible has that story about Jesus fasting in the desert and then Satan appears to himand tries to get him to fall for deception or gove into temptation several ways but the Lord knows better seeing through the devils farce with pure driven snow intentions cannot be tricked or corrupted.
That was the first time i came out here to die. I was out here for six days, getting loaded out of my mind, sorting the last of my art organizing and pisting it for posteroty i suppose. The only radio station that gets reception out here is the good ole country station. I feel like a fountry boy deep down, like all i need is my truck my rifle my woman, my dogs and me, and we coild make some moonshine or wine and grow some pot and defens our little garden and that would be a good meaningful filfilling and jouous life, homesteading. See i wouldstart out with rabbits for my meat and chickens for eggs. I was amazed when i learned that chickens lay an average of one egg per day per chicken, that means a dozen chickens feeds the whole family breakfast every day! After i got good at raising rabbits i would move on to goats, cheaper and mire hearty than cows you understand, then i couldvuse goatsmilk for dairy until i was adbanced enough to keep a milking cow. I dont thinkni woold ever raise cows for beef though, to slaughter, cows have always been my friend. I an not sure why but as a kid i felt like i communed with the cows, and i talked telepathy with dogs. A real dr doolittle. Besides there has to be a good reason that the oldest sacred scripture, the teachings of uinduism place cows in such high esteem and i am talking about a more meaningful reason than to avoid consuming prion diseases like kreutzfeldt-jacob or bovine spongiform encephalitis.
Anyway the country station plays a lot of oowy gooey gushy love songs. Its been tough because i kost my family recently. My wife was possessed by some demo. Anout a year ago and it has been deaecrating her body and her memory since, and finally everythng came to a climax and she is leaving. Its been a hard year but i kept telling myself the selfishness was just a phase, and the emotional abuse would stop eventually, for richer or poorer right? I rhought the.last year would have just been a poorer year but thjngs would look up again soon. I guess i was wrong. I think that when that demon took my wife, it happened maybe when the world ended or just before sep 23rd 2017, the date of the revelations 12 sign, because the sign never appeared in the sky and nothing ever happened. If it did, we were all transported to a dimension where everytiing is wrong andbad because satan stirred it with his pinky finger and like the butterfly effect cataclysm has rippled outward while he laughed at us, he has the most teisted nauseating sick sense of god humor there is, he likes things like radiation poisoning, disfiguring mutations, degenerative diseases like parkinsons, it seems like all the good ppl are getting the short end of the stick. And the ones he could he had demons take control of those who were new in their faith, those he could trick or demons could get access to through sexual deviancy and lust perhaps, that is how i have heard they can take over some females, that is how i believe they snatched the love of my life.
Every time sje would mistreat me or donaomething conniving or selfish ot would dishonor her memory and build resentment on me. I have never had so mich resentment that is howni started to realize something was terrobly wrong and i must be in hell.
Anyhow, out in the desert at resdington pass i acquired a paranormal friend. There is a crow that follows me and caws at me everywhere roght around dusk. At first i thougjt he was a dead froend of mines spirit, maybe a fallen soldier i ffought with in afghanistan, or my froend tom or tyler who overdosed on heroine, and they were waiting nearby because they knew i was about to take the nine millimeter express out of this dimension, and inalways imagined tyler would be waiting in the next world to show me the ropes since he got there early and he would oh so relish knowing his way around more than me, like that kid who is telling you how everything works in basic training until you realize he only got to reception one day before you did.
The ooey gooey gushy love songs are how he did it, not the crow. God was able to pierce through thenillusion amd get a message to me. Previously i had died, but i came back to thos world groggy, i had known i wasnt supposed to be able to come back. The brodge between the world of the living and the dead was dexomated long ago. I had the knowledge that this place is fake, an illusion, or a simulation, and i had gone to the real place that night. I was walking alone on the dark. This forst sox days in the desert wothout even my dogs taught me that all uimans are truly terrified of being alone in the dark. Bitnin the real place it wasnt long before i was no longer alone ibeas talking into the darkness with someone, a loyal friend, maybe.. tyler? He was explaining hurriedly to me the situation. All incould remember was that there was a situation, that it was important, that i needed to go back to he fake place to retrieve sonething thatvwoyld jelp is with the situation and that there was something important to tell someone in the fake place. But when i woke up here in the devils playground in this body, it was evident all that i am in the real place could not fit on rhis brain, only a small portion of my siul can fitnin this brain and usenit to interface with this dimension or reality. So the me in the real place has the full knowledge, and the me here in the fake place has the faith and the eyes and ears and open arms to recieve it when he sends it.
Likeninsaid, my lotd God (not just the real me) punched a message through on the country radio station, only God could do something that amazing, Xoom isnt that gifted.
My life began to flash before my eyes. I bwgan to remember only rhe good memories, theyvwere flooding in and teats were pooring out to make more room for them, there are so many amazong wxperiences with her before any of the resentment, i didnt give a crap about the reaentment anymore. When i no longer had reaentment my eyes were open and the veil lifted. I saw this place for what it was, a set of a play, with demon stage hands running around operating the stage devices and props, one big green demon was pedalling on a stand still bicycle to make the sky turn and the dake sun go down, grinning maliciously because once it was dark i would be afraid to be alone. Compared to the demons running the stage, us actors on stage numbered few and i was the only one who knew this place for what it truly was. (More to follow...)