Okay weird ass vent thing but whatever
Okay I feel like I’m super annoying. Like I spam people and I fucking feel so bad for it but I want attention 24/7 even if I can’t have it. I’m an only child. I rarely talk to anyone. I’m quiet and most people don’t know the real me. They just know the kid who will fuck them over in a heartbeat. And I like it that way. I’m to scared to get attached. Scared to mess it all up and screw myself. I’ve never been good with words. Ever. I just wanna have a thing we’re I can have that floating on the air feeling, talk and smile, laugh. Not be so coped up in my god damn room, on a fucking phone all day. I wanna throw everything out and start from scratch, get rid of everything. But that can’t happen. And I’ve still got some stuff I wanna keep. Maybe be nicer to my best friend, tell her how much I care bout her and that she means so much too me. Tell them that I really care and love them, that yeah I’m fucked up and yeah I mumble and I really fuck up but... I’m just a human. And I wanna be there for them. Just maybe have someone be their for me, be able to read me like an open book but keep all my secrets like a safe to never be cracked. But then... who’d be there for them.