[13] My Christmas Wish

1

To some, it's "Christmas".

To others, it's "Xmas".

Some just refer to it as "December Twenty-fifth".

But to me, it started out as a "nightmare".

I don't know how, but that's what happened.

The night before, Christmas Eve, was anything but quiet.  Not a creature was stirring?  Yeah, right.  Even if you heard a sneeze before, it'd be drowned out by the din I heard.

2

Who was making that noise, drowning out any hope of a serene Christmas Eve?

I confess, it was me.  But you can forgive me, for Christmas tends to get me so excited!

Then again, so was my friend Jason.

But the thing is, Jason is this way day after day after day, week after week after week, month after month after month, year after year after year.  Very hyperactive, this guy is.  I think he drank more than just a quart of eggnog, and the Christmas party hasn't even happened yet!  It's supposed to happen tomorrow at my house.  Yes, of course, Jason is invited, since I can't turn down any of my friends for whatever reason.

Yet I wonder... what was in that eggnog that he'd been drinking?  And can I have some of that when he's finished with it?  (If he's finished with it, that is?)

Anyway, since he gets crazy drunk, Jason thought one morning that it'd be a good idea to, for no reason, sing "Away In A Manger".  Keep in mind that I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet and had no idea that he was going to camp out on my front porch as I drifted off under the covers the previous night.  I do hope he kept warm in his jacket, hat, mittens, scarf and boots.  It was freezing outside!

But you can say this about baby Jesus... no crying he made.  (My guess is, he didn't hear Jason sing yet.)

Out on the front porch there arose such a patter.  I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.  There weren't eight tiny reindeer out there.  (Perhaps Jason's singing drove them away?)

And just then, after another eggnog-induced round of "O Tannenbaum", Jason, without warning, dropped to the freezing snowy ground, and became unconscious.

3

It wasn't just me who saw this.  My sister (who happens to see everything) saw it too.  She is different from Jason in so many ways, for instance, Jason is drunk whereas she is sober.  In addition, Jason is a man whereas she is a woman, but you knew that.  I just thought I'd give you an obvious comparison here.

She doesn't want Jason to get too drunk for this party, since she worries that he might drink enough to want to get into Guinness.  And he might even drink some Guinness too, since we're discussing that.

We both gazed at Jason's frozen body.  You'd say that this has been the quietest he's ever been the entire weekend.  I had a thought about burying him in snow and making a human snowman out of him.  I suppressed a guffaw when I thought about this.

But then (since I didn't want to do that to Jason, and my sister was just going to nag over and over again if I didn't do something about this) I decided to pick up his body and put him inside my house, where he can spend the night.  I hope I didn't just jinx everything by doing this.

4

It was then that Jason chose at that exact moment to stir.  After a bit of quaking from being unconscious in the snow throughout this time, he drew breath.  He even wheezed a bit due to being in the frosty, frigid air.  Then again, the warm fire in the hearth seemed to provide enough heat to counteract this.

It was just as though Jason had been trapped in an iceberg, on some vacation to a faraway icy area such as Antarctica.  What went through my mind was... what'd drive anyone to want to go to Antarctica anyway?  Isn't that the one continent that's somehow devoid of any type of human encounters whatsoever?  Though I heard that the penguins are nice this time of the year.

My sister gave Jason some comforters to wrap his body in, and made a mug of yummy hot cocoa for him to drink.  And then she said that she was never going to invite him if any drop of hot cocoa ended up on the comforters.  She just got these out of the dryer!  She didn't want to wash them again, as the house was just about out of detergent and the stores aren't open on Christmas.  Most of them, anyway.

As Jason came to, he started discussing what he wanted for Christmas.  As if it wasn't obvious enough.  He wanted to spend Christmas surrounded by a myriad of pretty dames.  I don't know if Santa has enough of those to fit in Jason's tiny Christmas stocking even if he tried (and you know they'd want to take turns trying to fit in there).  My sister assured Jason that he may be getting that for Christmas... not this exact Christmas, mind you, but some Christmas.

As for my sister?  What she wants is for everyone to come together, no matter what race, skin tone, creed, gender, ethnicity, or preference, for peace on earth.  What with the mobs, riots, protests, murders, and other negative propaganda I see on the news nowadays, it might take a few years (and by "a few", I mean many) before her wish came true.  But it doesn't hurt to wish for it anyway!

As for my Christmas wish?  I just said to Jason and my sister that I wanted my Christmas wish to be kept secret.  They're not figuring out what I'm wishing for, and I'm sticking to it.  Though they thought I was being too vague there, I do want to thank them for respecting my decision.  Christmas was just a few more hours away, so how was anyone going to argue with that?

5

When I went to bed, I thought about my Christmas wish way into the night.  I was very excited at what I thought I was about to get.  It must have been the kid in me.

The truth was, I was quite embarrassed to bring up my wish.  What were they going to think?  Jason might think I'm crazy.  My sister?  I don't know if it matters, since she thinks I'm crazy anyway.

My wish was... to have the chance to see my first cat again.  The cat that I had when I was very young.

Whiskers... I think his name was.  I don't remember his exact name.

I remember when Whiskers departed from my existence... when I found out that he never returned, I cried for many weeks.  I was too heartbroken.

6

I don't know how much time I drifted off.  It might have been nighttime during the somewhat infinite time I dozed... but anyway...

I remember that far back, back when I was a baby.  It was then that I first saw Whiskers.  He was a kitten.  He was a cute kitten, and he was very happy when I was nearby, and I was very happy when he was nearby.  We were quite a pair!

I was so excited when Whiskers jumped into the crib with me.  My mom and dad were scared that he'd scratch my face, but Whiskers never scratched me even once.  Whiskers had no intentions of harming a hair on the head of his new human.

It might have been Christmastime that I first met Whiskers.  Oh yes!  There were red and white stockings throughout the house.  At the time, I didn't know they were stockings.  I thought mom and dad just took so many of their socks out of the dryer and scattered them throughout the room.  I thought they were that messy!

Whiskers was curious.  He even got into one of the big stockings.  It was so big, it seemed  as if he'd never find his way back.  I got into one of them once, so I knew how that was.  Dad said that I was not permitted to do that again.  I don't think I was tiny enough to fit into any of the stockings anymore, so I didn't get into any of them as much as my Whiskers did.

I had that kitty for ten... maybe fifteen years.  As I grew up, I forgot about Whiskers more and more as I was busy with homework... so I'd get to see him the most on weekends.  He'd often cheer me up whenever I got sick, as he'd give a comforting purr that'd soothe me and raise my spirits.

When I had him I was ecstatic.  But then, one day, something bad started happening to him, so he had to be taken to the vet.

I wanted some good fortune... I wanted him to return from the vet with the good news that everything was going to be a-okay.

Sad to say, that did not occur.

But that didn't mean I didn't give up hope that one day, my Whiskers may one day come back.  I assumed that it was just one out of his nine.  Maybe he didn't die.  Maybe he'd come back, in some form or other.

7

It started out as a "nightmare".  It might end as a "dream".

A dream that might not come true, but stranger things have happened on Christmas.

I awoke on Christmas morning, bursting with joy, excited about the mountain of presents I might receive from my friends... and my parents and sister.  I didn't expect to get Whiskers back, but I won't quit on my dream just yet.

I ran downstairs and gazed at the majesty of the tree.  It was pretty.  A night ago, it was prettier with the many-hued incandescent beacons festooning it, but this morning, they served nothing more than being mere distractions.  The presents under the tree are the main focus.

My sister insisted that I open the gift she got me first.  I knew which one was hers because her name was in giant writing on the nametag on one of the gifts for me.  I might have opened one of the other gifts, but you know what they say... dames first!

Aw, how cute, it's... an assortment of bath and beauty products.  Not quite the iPod or video game system I wanted, but it's the thought that counts, right?  Even if it did sound as if she was trying to remind me of my... hygienic habits.

8

I thanked my sister for the gifts she got me anyway, since, as we know, it's the thought that counts, right?  But in any case, I was happy that she enjoyed the books I got her.  They're the rare books I bought from Amazon, the kind that she enjoys that they never have in stores.  Her favorites.  (I even got her some copies of Gadsby, A Void, and Twenty-Six Degrees, some of my favorites too.)

I think Jason was quite satisfied with the magazines I got him, and I'm sure I'm going to find a use for the assortment of cookies he got me, even if every store in the entire universe has them and I can just buy some whenever I want the day after Christmas.

My parents got me money.  (Maybe it's because they can never think of what to get their son.  I don't understand them sometimes.)  But once they enjoy the crossword books I got both of them, perhaps they may care about me even more.  (And maybe get me more money next year?  Fingers crossed!)

About everywhere I wanted to go to for the rest of the day isn't open (that's how it is around every Christmas), other than, say, the park, but even then there aren't many there, and I think they're trying to get rid of the snow that came down in heaps from the sky a few days ago (it was snowing pretty hard).

I was thinking about what to spend my money on (maybe more books and games to expand my ever-increasing treasure trove), when I went to the park some time after.  My sister and Jason went with me.  We were having fun, just being kids again though we're about twice the age of a kid now, making cherubs in the snow, and having snow fights, and going on the swings... it was kind of fun!

During that time, I thought I heard something.  It was in the distance.  It was by the water fountain (the frozen water fountain, in this December temperature).  It was the sound of a tiny meow.  I think it was a meow, anyway.

9

Is it true?  I've wanted a cat or a kitten so bad, that I might have heard things.  Maybe it was a combination of my mind messing with me and the freezing air that I might have heard things.

And now Jason and my sister think they've heard something too, which is quite odd.  The three of us checked behind the water fountain.  We thought we made out a tiny paw.  It was white, so it was hard to spot among the snow.  But I was pretty sure there was one.

I don't know which among us have been exercising at the gym when no one was around, because we moved that water fountain quicker than I thought (about thirty seconds).  We saw a fuzzy, snowy white kitten giving a high-pitched meow, as it stood there on its back.

It had that appearance that insisted that someone take it to a home to stay with a human.  The three of us found it, but who gets to be the one to keep it?  I'm pretty sure the three of us wanted to keep it, so it was even more excruciating.

10

We had to make a decision as quick as we can, since I'm sure the pretty kitty might up and run away if none of us made a move to grab it for our own.  The kitty used its tongue to groom its own fur... I think it had gotten dirty from being in the snow for quite some time.

I had just had a dream that had something to do with a kitten... I think this might be a sign.  This kitten might be meant for me, perhaps.  An omen.  I think I was destined to be its proper owner.

But I think that getting that kitten for my own was going to become harder than I thought, as Jason was making a quick grab for it too.  My sister was wise enough to stay back and not intervene... she was going to permit the two men to fight each other to the death over this innocent kitten as she sits back and doesn't get her hands dirty.

Jason and I gazed at each other, attempting to psych each other out, as neither one of the two of us wanted to surrender to the other.  We both wanted that kitten.  I think today was the first day in our existences that we had become enemies... and on Christmas, too.  Freaking Christmas!  Is that how I wanted this Christmas to be?  A Christmas where I might gain a kitten but end up minus one friend?  Is that an exchange I wanted?

I just thought... screw it, I wasn't going to wait for him to make that first move.  I was going to get that kitten ASAP.  I reached out as far as I can, picking up the kitten with my arm.  Jason wasn't going to even bother stopping me, as I think he knows that the fight was over before it even began.  And besides, there was no need for this to degenerate into a true cat fight.  Besides, don't women get into them?  (Though I needed to watch what I say, since I'm pretty sure my sister might have heard that.)

Now that I had the kitten, I figured the cute kitty needed a new name.  I was thinking about either naming it Whiskers, after the kitten I used to have... and I was in addition thinking about giving the kitten a brand new name, since the kitten, though it was as cute as heck, was different from Whiskers in more than just appearance!  Besides, I didn't even know if it was a he or a she yet!

11

We went back home, me with the kitten finding a cozy spot in my arms.  My sister was the designated driver here (we know with Jason's, uh, tendencies, I'd never trust him to drive for quite some time).

I put the kitten in an empty cardboard box I found on the way home from the park.  I made sure the kitten never got out of the box as I was sitting in my car seat when my sister drove home.  The kitten was jumpy, and curious.  I think it had never seen what the interior of a car was before.

When we got out of the car and back home, I picked up the kitten.  It had stayed quiet the entire car ride home.  And it had remained as cute as it was, even if I did have to give it a tiny bath.  (Hey, it was dirty from being outside in the park and on the snowy ground!)

The kitten didn't care for a bath.  It hissed, a tad angry at me.  Hey, I don't often care for baths either, but this kitten needed to be washed!  My sister assisted me, as she has a part-time job at a center that takes care of cats and kittens, so she understands proper cat hygiene.

12

The kitten found a cozy spot to take a nap, on the top of my bed in my bedroom.  It was sweet.  I even watched it kneading and making air biscuits a few times.  (In a few more weeks, I might even watch it do some jazzhands.)

Speaking of naps, the kitten reminded me that I needed to take a quick nap.  I was exhausted after the ride home, and got on top of the bed too, taking care not to squash the kitten with my weight.

During my brief rest, I had thoughts of what to name the kitten... how to keep the kitten happy and satisfied... how to tame the kitten just in case visitors arrive...

And then I became unconscious.

I had more dreams that whooshed through my head... they were not just dreams of Whiskers... and dreams of my current kitten... but dreams about other cats.  Some cats were mother cats with an entire fam of kitties.  I think I might have remembered some of these cats before, even if I never met them even once.

I even thought I witnessed the birth of a kitten in my dreams.  It might have been the birth of that kitten I own just now, but the kitten being born I had a vision of didn't quite have the same appearance as my current kitten.

Not that the kitten I dreamed about wasn't cute, mind you.

I had dreams of other fauna... dogs... a python... why did I dream about a python?  Cats might chase pythons, I'd imagine.  Then again, I've never seen a cat and a snake together in the same area before.

What is going on in my head today?  I think I've been catnapping for too much time.  That kitten might have gotten awake and jumped off the bed before I did.  I don't want to get Jason or my sister to tease me for being too tardy... so I'd better wake up too.

So when I woke up, I got ready to greet the rest of the day.  The kitten was purring and very content.  It was happy.  It had found its new human.  Me.  I was going to be its owner from now on.

13

Next day was after-Christmas.  Before I woke up, a visitor came to greet me with four paws on top of me.  It chirped a cute, high-pitched meow.  It then kneaded its paws, stretching its back, and then washed its paw with its tongue as I got up and got dressed.

Jason went back home to be with his fam.  They must miss him crazy bad.  Then again, the parents did enjoy one day without a few drunken shenanigans from him...

During this quaint, quiet morning, I had no presents to open (since I opened them yesterday), so after a breakfast of eggnog and warm pancakes, I sat by the fire.  My kitty friend got downstairs and sat down on an empty chair.  It was there that it chose to take a cute catnap.

I don't quite understand how cats can choose what times to go to bed and what times to stay awake, but I wasn't picky.  I took a catnap right beside the kitten.  It was as if we were bound together by fate.

And then... the two of us purred together in unison.  I don't purr quite often, and if my sister were in the room at the time, I'd be too embarrassed!

14

As it turns out, my sister was in the room at the time.  Of course, she chose not to say anything.  She tried to suppress her guffaws as quiet as she can.  (I worry she might have Jason know about it... chances are she did, but I don't care.)

It was just a nice sight... me... in repose in the same room as my new pet kitten.  The perfect picture for next year's Christmas card!  And that Christmas card might one day be a rare item that everyone'd want to buy.

Such a thing of beauty... a nice vision that invokes the spirit of Christmas, and New Year's and future events to come!

Now I've thought of a name for the kitten... Navidad.  That's "Christmas" in Spanish.  I don't think our kitten speaks Spanish ever... not as if it cares, anyway!  It's just too busy being a cute kitten.

This kitten is a nice prize... the prize that I've earned for making it through another Christmas without any occurrence of...

* * *

EXPERIMENT #13 OF 26 AN ASTOUNDING SUCCESS.  OH, AND MERRY CHRISTMAS... IN NOVEMBER? PERHAPS THAT IS THE WRONG EVENT FOR SUCH A JOYOUS OCCASION.  WHATEVER, NOT AS IF OUR BOSS'D MIND, ANYWAY.

WE'RE PROCEEDING QUICKER THAN WE THOUGHT, DESPITE THE GAP IN PROGRESS A WEEK AGO.  THIRTEEN REMAIN... A BAKER'S DOZEN.  WE CAN DO THIS...