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  • Drinking: Root Beer
So if anyone is interested in keeping up with my day-to-day life, I started a brand new blog at the beginning of this year.  My friend teg-ready convinced me to take on a blog challenge with her, in which we write an entry every day for the whole year of 2018 (and possibly future years, we'll see how 2018 goes first, lol).  So far, I've kept up with it, despite missing the first 2 days because I didn't know about the challenge. ;P

Anyway, the point is that I will not be utilizing the journal feature here anymore, but here is the link to my new blog, for anyone who wants to visit: Everyday Scribbles 

Please feel free to come by and take a look and leave some feedback, if you wish! :)  

(Also, if you have an active blog hosted on Blogger, and you don't mind me adding it to my "Favorite Bloggers" section, leave your link in the comments!)
  • Listening to: The Mowgli's ~ San Francisco
  • Reading: Dead Beat, Book 7 of The Dresden Files.
  • Watching: Chicago Fire, in an hour
So I've had this slightly throbbing headache all day and it's highly annoying!  I absolutely hate days like this, where the pain just refuses to subside, no matter what I do.  It makes it hard to focus on anything for too long.

Anyway, I figured I'd update, since it's already May and I haven't updated since... August of last year?!  I remember back when I had the motivation to do daily updates on a blog that I had.  My life must have been so much more interesting back then. ;P

Lately, I've been hit with these little urges to get back into things that I used to do several years ago... such as writing... and drawing... and painting.  The traditional arts.  I actually was inspired enough today to go searching for writing prompts for fiction and poetry to try and get myself back into sparking that writing flame I used to ignite all the time.  The result is that I now have 14 pages worth of prompts to sift through, so there's absolutely no excuse for me now, except laziness and procrastination.  Well, that and being busy with using every spare minute of my day working my little side job for my dad. -sigh-

We'll see where this takes me!
  • Listening to: Adelitas Way ~ Somebody Wishes They Were You
  • Reading: Summer Knight, Book 4 of The Dresden Files
  • Drinking: freshly brewed coffee
So I hate when I tend to forget about dA, only to come back and see that number at the top of the screen with over 800 new notifications, most of which are deviations.  I really don't like to have to skip over anyone's piece of art, so I'm trying to go through every single one of them.  So if you're seeing activity on some rather old deviations of yours, that's probably me. :aww:

Life has been busy for me lately, even though I still haven't had any luck with finding a job... filling out countless applications over and over again takes up a LOT of time though.  Plus, the new kitten we acquired at the beginning of the month takes up some of that free time as well, not to mention keeping the house clean (I will NOT let it get to the conditions we had to live with in the other house), taking care of the teenager when she needs a ride to school, or lately, the doctor's office.  Plus, I'm JUST now getting over a sickness with my ear that lasted for three weeks.  Yeah, everything piles up quickly!

That's about it in my world right now.  We haven't been able to get in quite as much cycling lately because of sicknesses and just plain running out of time.  I hate that feeling, because now it seems like we have to start all over again in getting back in the routine of riding every day.  It's so easy to just push it off to the next day... and the next day... and the next day, until it eventually just ends up forgotten.
  • Listening to: Soundgarden ~ Live to Rise
  • Reading: Chernobyl Murders: Lazlo Horvath Thriller Series
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper Ten
So I've REALLY gotten into cycling lately, anybody who's on my facebook and seen my recent postings can vouch for that. ;P  It's just so much more fun than simply walking the dogs around the neighborhood, which is what we were doing (when we remembered) to get some exercise every day.  Though, I have to say, I went out riding this morning to a nearby park to do some reading in the sun... and riding into the wind is really hard!  I wasn't ready for it and it hit me really quick.  Slowed me down significantly, as well as making my knees cramp up a little.  Good thing I was already close to the park so I could take a much-needed break.

Anyway, that's not the main purpose of this post.  Some of you might have already been aware of this, but I have been trying to revive my forum [ Crack Your Nuts ] for the past couple months.  I'm posting a shameless plug here to see if anyone would be interested in checking it out and seeing if you'd like to join and help us out by being active, or even semi-active!  I really don't want to see this place die again, especially when there are so many other forums that are doing better than CYN but make me go temporarily blind by just looking at the design.  I don't know what else to do so I'm just trying to use all of the resources that I can to get the link out there.

Please consider joining us!  We have a little bit of everything and if there's anything we don't have, all you have to do is let me know and I'll see what I can do to accommodate your needs!

Pretty please??

:thanks: :glomp:
  • Listening to: Shinedown ~ Amaryllis
  • Reading: Left Behind
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper
Sooooooooo, I'm incredibly excited because we are going to be leaving in a few hours for our 1,600-mile/26-hour drive to Oklahoma City!!  The reason is to finally bring back my stuff from my old apartment that has been sitting in my mom's garage for the past 2½ years!  Which is also how long I've been waiting for this to happen.  It's felt like a part of me has been missing all this time, because it's a piece of what is home to me.  So I will finally have all of my furniture, dvds, books, etc again!!

Though I think I'm looking forward to the actual road trip more than getting my stuff back!  I just wish we had more time to actually be able to stop along the way and maybe take some photos of whatever catches our attention.  But the whole trip is going to feel a little rushed, I'm afraid, because we have to be back within a certain amount of time and there's no telling how much that U-Haul's going to hold us back.

But I'm still excited to see my family as well, even if it'll only be for like a day and a half.

Since I last wrote, I've also redesigned my design and photography portfolio, located here.  Feel free to check it out, even though the photography section is not done yet, besides for certain categories, which is listed on the site.  Now if only I could finally finish editing and uploading all of the photos that I've picked out to feature!
  • Listening to: Staind ~ Something To Remind You
  • Reading: The Dead Saint by Marilyn Brown Oden
"So when the day comes and the sun won't touch my face
Tell the ones who cared enough, that I've finally left this place..."

Well, it's been quite awhile since I updated.  My life is in a sort of contradiction... it seems to be falling apart at the seams, yet piecing itself back together again at the same time.

I don't really know exactly how to explain that though.

There's so much going on right now, most of it causing alot of stress and tension and anger dwelling inside me.  Yet I'm trying to keep from totally going off the deep end.

I've come to realize that I have a love/hate relationship with house-hunting and the entire process.  My boyfriend and I have been going through this process since around the beginning of August or so... and we were lucky enough to find the PERFECT house shortly after searching... BUT the catch is that it was a short sale and there was an extra $11,000 in HOA fees that we'd have to take on.  But we decided that it was totally worth it and put in an offer, the seller accepted, and we were waiting on the bank to accept.  Yet there was a fluke in the system which caused "our" house to go up for auction instead.  We're still waiting on the results of that.  But the silver lining (or so I keep telling myself) is that the auction will void that $11,000 and we may even get the house for less than we offered.  So yeah, a week from today, we'll see how that works out.

I won't explain what we're having to live with in the meantime though, because that's only going to bring out the anger.

Then, my job is frustrating me.  They want my coworkers and I to be more productive, yet they drastically cut our hours back, so far that it's not even worth really keeping.  Especially when I'm trying to save up money to buy furniture and stuff for the new house (whenever we get to it).  Sooo, I'm just finding it really difficult to perform the job with 110% effort like I have been for this past year and 2 months.  The only thing keeping me from just up and quitting today is knowing how hard it is to actually find a job in this economy.  So I'm stuck trying to find another job before I quit.  And who knows how long that will be.

Sigh.  I'm trying not to let all of this bring me down though because I really am excited about finally getting into a house of our own and being able to live happily ever after. :P
  • Listening to: Not Strong Enough ~ Apocalyptica feat Brent Smith
  • Reading: Changes by Jim Butcher
  • Drinking: Cola (knock off brand)
So it's been awhile again since I've updated.

My brother's wedding has come and gone, as well as the Cancun trip I was so anxiously waiting for, and I have to say, it was one of the best times that I have ever experienced.  The wedding was so amazingly beautiful, out on the shore with the sunset in the background.  I don't think the newlyweds could have asked for a more perfect moment.  The reception was just about the most fun that I have ever had at a family gathering.  Some of that might contribute to the fact that I drank more than I ever have also... anyway, I'm happy that my big brother finally found happiness and I know that the two of them will continue that happiness for many many years to come.  (If you're interested in seeing ALL of the photos I took from the trip, click here. :aww: )

I also finally found a job. Somewhat.  It's only part-time and I'm not really getting the hours that I would like... but it's something.  Better than being stuck in the house all day with nothing to do.  I've never had a job quite like it... I travel to different grocery stores and check their inventory of Nestlé products and report back with out of stocks.  It's different.  What I like about it is that I pretty much get to make my own hours and work on my own, at my own pace.  It's nice. :D

That's about all that's been going on lately.  I've been dealing with a particularly bad headache for the past couple days, even as I type now so I'm going to end this now.  The brightness of the screen is too much for me at the moment.  I'm thinking I'll go lay down and listen to some music.  Hope you all are doing well! :heart:
  • Listening to: Weezer - (If You're Wondering If I Want You To)...
  • Reading: Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
"If you're wondering if I want you, (I want you to) I want you to (I want you to)
I swear it's true (I swear it's true) without you, my heart is blue

If you're wondering if I want you, (I want you to) I want you to
So make a move, (Make a move) 'cos I ain't got all night..."

I can't stop listening to that song.  It's so catchy and just makes me wanna move with the beat.  Like Finger Eleven's "Paralyzer."  :D

Anyway.  Lately I've been kind of obsessed with getting my photoblog completely up-to-date.  The main reason behind it is because well, it's been backed up for way too long, and I want to be able to post the pictures from my trip to Cancun in less than two weeks!  I'm just not the type of person who can have a photoblog and post photos out of order for some reason.  I'm soooo excited about this Cancun trip though.  It's building up more and more every day!  My brother is getting married there, which is the whole reason I get to go.  I've never been to Mexico at all, and I'm told that Cancun is "like paradise."  I suppose I'll have to see for myself!

I had a job interview yesterday, which I'm not going to say anything more about so as not to jinx my luck... but I could use any good wishes anybody has to offer. :aww:

Other than that, not much going on here.  I finally am going to get my brakes fixed tomorrow morning, for a lot cheaper than I was planning, which makes me happy.  I need to go look at some cheap summer clothes for the beach though, considering it will probably be significantly hotter in Mexico than it is here.  But I will probably wait until the week before I leave to do that, since I'm such a procrastinator... ;P

OH and I forgot to mention, it's my birthday in 2 days!  (I guess that shows how much I was thinking about it...) Though I'm not that excited about getting older.. haha.  I already got my birthday present from my dad, which is this laptop that I'm typing on right this minute. :D  Other than that, I don't really see this birthday being significantly special this year... it's just another day.
  • Listening to: Jimmy Eat World ~ Work
Well, it has been quite some time since I have updated this journal.  Sometimes, it still only feels like yesterday that I made that 23 hour drive here to Cali.  It did take about 6 months for the distance to finally sink in though.  I really miss Oklahoma and my family and friends there.  But I'm enjoying all of the opportunities that I've been lucky enough to experience.

I still have yet to find a job, the market totally sucks right now.  There are so many other people doing the exact same thing and apparently most of those people are more qualified than I am.  But I'm trying not to dwell on the negatives of the situation.  I know I will find something eventually.  Just wish it was sooner rather than later!

I'm looking forward to my 10-day visit back home next week.  I'm staying for a full week and a half this time and it is much-needed.  Though I'm not looking forward to spending all day at San Francisco airport/Phoenix airport/Chicago airport/in a plane!  

Well I guess that's really all I have to say, besides some personal issues that I can't really go into at the moment.  All I can say about that is that it's causing me a little bit of frustration, but again, I'm not dwelling on it.  Well, maybe just a little. :roll:
  • Listening to: Kings of Leon ~ Notion
Well.  I'm now in Cali, as you may have guessed by my recent deviation submissions. :D  I absolutely love it here.  It is so beautiful and I am in heaven with all of the photo opps I have experienced and have yet to experience.

Even though the initial reason (job interview) that got me here fell through because the hiring manager is a prick who thinks I live too far from the job (even though the staffing agency told me I had the BEST scores out of any other candidate), I'm not letting that get me down.  His loss, right? :unimpressed:  I feel like every company in the Bay area now has my resume.  Hopefully something will work out for me soon.

In the meantime, I'm excited for this weekend, which is the San Francisco photo opp that I have been waiting for since I arrived. :dance:  I can't wait!!
  • Listening to: Shinedown ~ Second Chance
"Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life
I hope they understand.
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance."

This week I got news of some potential-pretty-serious-life-changing events that may surface within the next few weeks or so. Yet there are certain forces that are attempting to prevent them from happening, but I won't let them follow through. And while I'm trying to let the positives outweigh the negatives of the situation, it's not always easy.

It's been a secret desire of mine to move to Cali for about four years now, ever since I started getting more into graphic design and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. However, I was young then and didn't have the confidence that I feel I have now. And maybe a part of me was a little scared at the idea of starting a brand new life in such unfamiliar territory. Yet through the years, I did attempt that fresh start, keeping a safe distance of only three hours from home. There were times that I wasn't sure if I was going to make it, but something always pulled me through that last glimpse of hope.

Now I'm hoping to add twenty more hours to that original three... and while a part of me is sad for the day that I will have to leave this place, another part of me is content in the fact that I know it will all work out in the end. I have to believe that, no matter what happens or what obstacles try to stand in my way. I'm not backing down this time. And I'm excited about fulfilling a dream... even if I have to do it alone.
  • Listening to: Jason Mraz ~ I'm Yours how my life feels at the moment.

I'm certain of the direction that I want my life to take, but I'm not quite sure how to get there.  Although one of my very best friends Jacques who has been there for me throughout thick and thin for the past 5 years is making things easier.  Not only by being there for me yet again when I need him, but possibly helping to make a dream of mine into a reality.  I don't want to talk about it much though because I don't want to get my hopes up, and it seems like the more I get excited about it, the more things tend to not work out the way I want.  So I'll just leave it at that.

So since my last update, I've moved back home to Oklahoma, though it's only a temporary stay.  And I'd forgotten how many reminders of bad memories lurk here in the shadows.  Which is one reason I want to get as far away as I can... start over in a way, in completely unfamiliar territory... Well not COMPLETELY unfamiliar.. but at least somewhere that isn't here.

Oh and I've been 26 for almost a week now.  My birthday was horrible, although I feel bad saying that because my mom and Jacques did make an effort to make it special.  It's just that I was reminded how I'm of no importance whatsoever to a certain family member... and it just hurt.  Maybe it wouldn't have stung so deep if it hadn't been my birthday as well.  But it's just something that I have to eventually get over and come to the realization that he'll never change.

Things with my dad have gotten a bit worse as well.  Ironically, just before Father's Day coming up...and I don't have the best of feelings towards him at the moment so he'll most likely only be seeing one of his children this weekend.

The motivation to get back into drawing just wasn't strong enough either.  There's alot going on in my life right now, but I'm going to try and get that back on track soon.

** EDIT: Is the mood feature not working for anyone else?  I click on it and the pop-up box just never loads...
  • Listening to: Staind ~ Tangled Up In You
Ok so I'm kinda back.  I tried another art site similar to dA.. and it was alright for awhile, but the novelty has long since worn off.  I always liked dA's setup, so I figured I'd give them another shot.

So it's been a little over a year since I've been active here.  I can't promise that I will be on here more often than I was back then, because my life seems to be in a constant state of change.  Anyway.. I've done a bit of artwork in that time that I was gone, so I'll upload some of that stuff gradually.

That's it for now. :)
  • Listening to: the laptop humming
Wow, so I may not be back here to DeviantART anymore.  

My latest banner was removed because they don't believe it was my own work, when it WAS. (I spent about 3 hours last night working on it, when I should have been sleeping because I have a test today..)  This is the second time it has happened and I really don't appreciate how unprofessional it is.  

Everything I make is MY OWN artwork and always has been.

So... goodbye DA... thanks to everyone I've managed to meet through are all amazingly talented artists.  I know some of you on MySpace, so I'll just have to keep in touch there, or through my forum, for those who are members.

Seeya around.

Oh yeah, and happy halloween.
  • Listening to: the hum of the vending machines @ UTA
  • Reading: Friday Night Lights by H.G. Bissinger
  • Drinking: ((wishing I had a cappuccino))
So, as promised, here's my next post, almost exactly 6 months later. :P  lol.  I dunno what is up with my posting schedule here on DA... but oh well, at least I'm consistent! :o

My summer classes are keeping me away from DA, and pretty much every other online place I frequent...too many research projects and papers due every week.  I am going to be so incredibly happy when these 2 classes are finally over and done with.

I feel like I have so much to do and not enough time to get ANY of it done.  It's one of the worst feelings, at least for me, because I'm a very determined person (despite the fact that I'm a huge procrastinator) and if I leave something unfinished, it bugs the crap outta me.  

But anyway, there are lots of DAs that are filling up my DA Watch inbox.. and I regret to say that I will probably not be able to get to each and every one of those to check them out.  I'm sorry for that.. I will try to catch up one of these days when I have some extra free time.. I promise!!

I better get goin, my class starts soon... hope everything is great with you all who read this. :)
  • Listening to: Bon Jovi | Bed of Roses
Well... lately, I've been wanting to design something... but I've got no inspiration.  I wanna make something different from the usual style that I have on all of my signature banners.  I've been looking around at stuff, but even that doesn't get me motivated.  The thing with me and my artistic nature is that I have to be in the "mood" to be creative...and I've been in that mood, but I can't seem to produce anything decent.  Usually, it's the other way around, I've got all this inspiration, but I'm never in that perfect artistic "mood."  Ugh... it's frustrating.

And now with going back to college, it's really going to be difficult to drum up some extra time to just sit back and design.  Especially with all of the notes that I have to type up...I can't let anything distract me this semester, ANYTHING.  It is incredibly too imperative that I do well.  My whole future with this college depends on just that.

Anyway.. just thought I'd vent.

heh.. I can't seem to keep this journal up to date anymore... I'm updating once every six months... ahhh.  

Well.. lots has changed in the past 6 months though... I'm still at the same dead-end, crappy job.  Still dealing with my two-faced bitch of a manager.  Seems that she makes me even more angry with every passing day.  Yesterday I learned that she took credit for some stuff that got done, that I had worked my ass off to finish.  And she's stupid for saying that she did it, because I have a witness who is not afraid to stand up and say that I did it all.  Ugh, it gets frustrating.  I need a better job. :sniff:

As for my love life... it couldn't be better.  Shortly after my last post here, I started dating a guy who has treated me better than I have EVER been treated.  He makes me happier than I've ever been.  We just recently took a trip to Las Vegas, Nevada to see his family who lives there...and it was an amazingly fun that we both really needed.  I loved spending every moment with him!  I can't wait to go back.  There are so many beautiful sites over there.  I have all the pictures posted at my photoblog, if anyone wants to take a look.

Anyways.. I'd better get going.  See you all again in six months! :P  hah.. well hopefully sooner than that...
Wow.. well things have changed alot since my last entry on here... I don't use this much for journaling.. I always unconsciously forget about DA.. but if you're wanting to look at a slightly more updated journal of my life, click here and that's what you'll get. :)

anyways... I'm sick right now, with a horrible sore throat, I'm trying to catch it before it gets really bad... but I dunno if the medicine I'm taking is really working or not.  And I have to work tonight too, and I CAN'T call in because I desperately need the hours... it sucks.  

but yeah that's just a little update.  oh yeah and I'm no longer with Nick... I've been single for about 4 months now...and it's been nice...for the most part. :)
hey everyone.  Well, it's been awhile again since I've actually used DA.  Much less even wrote a journal entry.  lol.  I keep forgetting that it's here.  I've been pretty busy as of late, searching for a job down here in Texas where I moved about 3 weeks ago.  I haven't had much time to design since I moved so I haven't really made anything new.

But I have made lots of new stuff since last using DA so I will try and get some of those posted as soon as I can.  Hope you all are doing okay, and sorry I haven't been around to comment on your works, just give me some time and I will try to get around to doing that.  

Well I better get going, Nick (my boyfriend) and I are about to watch a movie. :D
:(  I lost my photoshop.  I loaded the software that came with my digital camera onto the computer I use that has photoshop on it and it apparently used up too much of the memory.  So I had to uninstall it and now my photoshop is messed up.  won't let me do anything besides open a new file, which is basically pointless.

I'm either gonna have to buy the full version, or beg my ex-boyfriend's brother to get me a copy of it.  he's a big computer person, so he might have a copy of it laying around.  dunno though.  I miss my photoshop! :(

I'm moving in 11 days also, so I probably won't have access to the internet for who knows how long.  but I'll be back either way.