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B0dah

dark. light. repeat.
Deviant for 15 years•139 Watchers•92 Watching•296 Deviations
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B0dah

Dear me

6 min read

One inspiring day of my life, like many of my days. Here's how it went.



- Okay stop reading now. Who cares anyway... When  I scrolled down and saw something I've written over ten years ago, I didn't recognize who I was back then. I hope to read this within ten years from now and hopefully feel grown and smile. -



It started well, waking up without alarm clock at 08:18. A short drive to the tire center, getting some motivational speech from ‘The Almightiness Contradiction’ by The Ocean. Still, I didn’t agree with all the lyrics. Then got some really good free coffee in the waiting room with the nicest lady behind the counter. There was me, her and a man dressed from head to toe in fluorescent orange: shirt, shoes and even his glasses. The first article I read was about a designer who dedicated his life to meditation—something I’ve started doing recently - I felt lucky. The next was on the sound engineer who makes the 'engine' sounds for electrical Audi cars - fuck, he is so cool, Rudolf something, calling himself the soundwizard. If mine wasn't so awesome, I'd be jealous at his job. On the next page, there was a banana plant that reminded me of the one I saved at work, thanks to some good collaboration with a colleague and the gardener. Someone complimented us on it just yesterday.



Growing things is nature’s accomplishment, not ours. Also, I don't really get why they call us the plant people; I think all humans are plant people because we are all living, caring beings and we need nature to live. But I guess my colleague and I share a rather rare skill these days: looking at a plant and knowing how it feels.



I looked up from the magazine and noticed the same plant in the shop. Luck. Maybe the lady with the good energy had something to do with it. Probably she put the meditation magazine there. We shared lots of smiles, and then I left for a flea market where I vibed with a guy who makes gemstone stuff. I bought some aquamarine and howlite, talked about the strong full moon this week, and later found some cool plants from the same ‘plant lady’ I bought from last year. I complimented her on how well her plants have grown. Okay, I get it now.



I found another stand where I recognized an original work by an artist my husband and I always admired. It wasn’t what I was looking for, but they have an auction next month with more, so I felt more lucky. Then I went to a mall where I found my favorite food and an art supply store. Wandering on my own, I called to mind that the questions I’ve been asking over the past few months aren’t to be answered by some outer force; the answers are inside me.



In the middle of the mall, I saw a piano and thought, 'Why do they always put pianos in public and never a cello?' Behind the piano, there appeared a carbon cello. A little four-part 'Haaaa-lelujah' in my mind. I picked it up and played for the first time in years, in public. Well yeah, just some notes, but it didn’t go as badly as I thougt. I must admit, maybe I did get a little outside help today. I should really start playing again; now I’m one step closer. This feeling of luck grew to victory. We’re making an art-music room in our house, so that will come in time. I put my headphones back on to ‘Leader Wolf - Tengger Cavalry’.



A few minutes later, I sat in the grass in a park near the mall, while looking at a fountain - a place to me laden with meaning. I was eating my sushi and a white dog that really resembled a wolf wanted me to pet him. I did for as long as I could until the owner probably started thinking, 'What is this weirdo doing with my dog?' I remembered my daughter had a dream about a white wolf teaching her how to swim over the ocean. It was the night of the full moon. Oh, idea for a drawing... This will be a fun challenge.



'Okay, mind, stop seeing deeper signs and just enjoy the moment,' I thought, 'the wolf thing is just a coincidence.' I looked at my phone again, and it was 14:44, showing ‘Himalaya Massive Ritual’. Ah.



On my way home, I caught all the green lights and almost got hit by a truck. Shifted from victorious to rather humble. As I came home I corrected the construction workers next door, telling them they should continue their insulation all the way to the window instead of leaving a huge gap around it. The workers all didn't speak my language, or pretended to, but stayed friendly and probably secretly thought 'fuck you, mind your own business' and I ended the conversation evenly friendly thinking by myself 'you're right, this is not humble but slightly bitchy, I should mind my own business, but... in a year they might have moulds and at least I tried to prevent it'.



I went to a fair where my husband and daughter were, gave the balloon man a drink while we were waiting. I felt a little proud when our daughter commented on his balloon-making skills, she gave back her balloon and made him improve his design (oh my, she is so much like me). He gave me an eyebrow, but luckily he was in a good mood—maybe the Coke saved us from getting only half the flamingo. He turned around and the back of his shirt said, ‘Unleash your spirit'.



Later, I saw the entertainer at the kids’ party hesitating and not recognizing the songs the DJ put on, so I put my daughter on stage to keep the vibe up. She did better than the woman, and they had the best time together on stage. I was the only parent dancing with a bunch of kids and had so much fun. Didn't care about the other adults in the distance hiding for the slightest raindrops. It started raining more heavily, and I ended up on the stage with all the kids. Thank you balloon man, my spirit was as unleashed as it could.

Gave our daughter her first cotton candy, after some time, she threw it up on my skirt. We ended the day with my husband’s friend over at the house, and had a moment crying together with the three of us, having the deepest conversation. Encouraged them to embrace their emotions, and each other, without feeling embarrassed - reassured them that it doesn’t diminish their manhood. Felt proud of their progress and clearly so did they. Going to bed at exactly 00:00.

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B0dah

Devious Journal Entry

8 min read
I was tagged by  :icongoaliebagheera:

1->You must post these rules (VERY Important )
2->Each person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3->Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create ten new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4->You have to choose 10 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5->Go to their pages and tell them you have tagged her/him.
6->No tag backs
7->No crap in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you're reading this." You legitimately (AKA, really, truly with all honesty) have to tag 10 people

1. I love: see deviantID, I hate: see deviantID

2. I am unique in a weird way
              weird in a fascinating way
      fascinating in an original way
            original in a unique way

3. My nickname B0dah is inspired on the invisible friend that Kurt Cobain had when he was a kid, Buddah. I had a Nirvana obsession when I was in my crazy teen years. I really believed that Kurts ghost lived in my bedroom... At that time, I had Bagh(GoalieBagheera) as my friend to share our invisible (not imaginary!) friends together...

4. I like to eat. When I was three years old, I got my stomach drained in the hospital because I was eating sleeping pills with my friend (who later became my stepsister and now is my ex-stepsister neighbour girl. We wanted to play doctor and sneaked in to her mom's bedroom, we ate more than a strip each... I also had a full package of ant poison when I was little. It tasted just like candy!

5. I sang in a choir for ten years but had to quit last year because I entered music school and didn't have time anymore. My instrument is cello, I still really suck at it after a year, but I hope to improve the next few years.

6. I can never have enough shoes, underwear and colouring pencils. I'm a collector, but my problem is space to put all my stuff, so I have to withold it as much as possible.

7. Actually everything electronic or digital isn't my friend. Being a Deviant is a real exception for me... It's my love for art and inspiration that convinced me. Probably I'm traumatised since I was a kid. In the first grade (7y), if we had good results, we could play a game on the computer. When it was my turn, it was the first time I ever say a computer and I didn't know what it was. I just couldn't understand if you move this wired thing, something moves on the screen. Was this supposed to be fun? I started crying and everyone laughed at me. Later, I was the last person of my class with a tv (unvoluntarily) and a cell-phone (voluntarily). The only thing I had that nobody knew was a disc-man. When it comes to music, I was always ahead... I had to save a year to buy one cd, I gave all my saving money on cd's and cat stuff.

8. I have absolutely no secrets. I think it's very important in your life to be completely honest and open. Maybe it's naive, but I like being naive... It keeps you from being disgusted of this world. I don't watch the news because I actually don't care. I don't like politics and history as well (except for the history about the things that I do like).

9. I don't care about celebrities or other people that don't make you smarter and you will never meet. I'm a very sensitive person and I my memory is also very good, so I want to reserve it only for things that I want to feel and know. That's why I keep myself away from all the influences that are unneccessary in my life, considdering to me. I'm very structured (the curse of an analytical brain) and I like to throw away everything that I don't need as much as possible.

10. I hope the luck I have now will never turn. I'm the kind of person that is happy with little. I'm at a point in my life where I find I have everything I want (except: see nr 7), I feel just so thankful for the world to be on my side and for all the people that are so good to me. My dream is to do something back for the people in the future that is worth remembering.
I don't like the American idea of 'pursuit of happiness', I think happiness is not something that you can pursue. It's the road itself to your dreams that makes you happy and not when you already reached the dream. If you really want to pursue happiness, then help someone else with it, that's way more satisfying.


Questions by ~GoalieBagheera:

1. If you could be anywhere you want right now, where would you want to go?
     - On the toilet. (I've been holding myself in since I began to write this and still I want to finish first)

2. What is your biggest dream ever?
     - To be a scientist and make an invention that solves our energy problems.

3. If you could meet a celebrity, who would it be and what would you tell/ask him/her?
     - Eicca Toppinen from Apocalyptica. I would ask him to teach me something with the cello. I also want to go to a bar with the band... in Belgium of course!

4. Sun or moon/stars?
     - Sun, I guess...

5. Summer or Winter?
     - Summer. I like winter clothes but I always get depressed by the end of the winter.

6. If you were to be an animal in your 'next life', which animal would you be and why?
     - A snow leopard. They live far away from humans and humans can never find them.

7. What's the best pick-up line you've ever heard?
     - Hmmm... that's a tough one. Let's think... I don't like pick-up lines. So the best pick-up line is when I don't realise it's a pick-up line. The biggest compliment I ever had was someone that said I was like a woman from a Renaissance painting. And he said I was the cutest girl that ever came to the bar he worked at!

8. What's the best turn-down line you've ever heard? xD
     - "My father is the best butcher from my town: with the smallest sausage, he made the biggest pig."

9. What's the funniest youtube-film you've seen?
    - FireFox: www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9BON5…

10. Have you ever seen something so beautiful/pure/amazing that it made you cry?
     - My sister's ballet recital. She was just 7 years old and so cute in her little pink tutu.

My questions to the tagged deviants:

1. What's the best pick-up line you've ever heard?
2. What's the best turn-down line you've ever heard?
3. If you would pick one thing/person/abstract concept/idea/... in this world that you could send to another planet, what would it be?
4. What's the funniest youtube-film you've seen?
5. If you are out of inspiration, what do you do?
6. What is your favourite meal?
7. What is your best special trick that nobody can do?
8. What is your top 5 favourite songs in a calm mood and your top 5 in a wild mood?
9. If I would pay for a banner behind an airplane that would fly aroud the world, what would you write on it? One sentence please.
10. What is your favourite quote?

I tag:         
:iconsnoeffel: :iconsunsetnightshade:  :iconmellisea:  :iconlietingadiena:  :iconmissaninty:  :iconnevbobski:  :iconjessmess09:  :iconmarci-darci: :iconastarvinartist:  :iconlight-from-emirates:

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