I am in a bad situation perhaps, but I am feeling more stable. Even after feeling an intense period of trauma, I am able to come back. Also, I am going to finally have the game console I wanted soon so that is a source of hope for me (because of competitive gaming). Also, I guess I am starting to see that even though my DeviantArt has almost no following, better artists than me can end up with no following at all. My page views are pretty high and I've got a lot llamas so maybe I am doing okay. Plus, I have a game project so I don't need to worry too much about popularity until that's out.
I am so upset with those people. Somehow it turned into sadness instead. I feel a lot less functional now. There is never stability in my life I guess. I can't believe the horrible things they do. Those devils don't belong around me.
And even worse, I was growing close to someone over the past few weeks, but then about 9 days ago, that person disappeared. I have never had someone simply go offline like that so unexpectedly. And I only know the account I met them on. I tried finding new people to be friends with, but my heart can't handle much at this point.
This unstable anger turned into stable sadness and the uncertainty that never lea
My health feels a lot more stable than before. I also found out today that laying on my belly actually makes me feel better somehow so I might be able to do a lot more if I can get used to doing it. I have been working on my game effectively. Got a lot of art done in the past two weeks, more than I have done in months in the past. I am probably not going to post much for a month or so because I feel like I could get my demo done soon, which is top priority basically.
I tried oat milk for the first time recently. I didn't realize oats had such a wonderful flavor. I actually prefer it over almost any other drink.
I have improved my health quite a bit since last post. It's been a few days since I was doing better. I found out that my water was killing me since I boiled meals a lot and the boiled water was pretty much toxic. Somehow drinking lots of multi-herb/spice tea really fixed me up. I guess tea is the best way to use herbs and spices since antioxidants have some negative traits that I think are weakened by water infusion. Also, water is transferred through the body faster than solids. When also eating enough minerals and vitamins, I am mostly convinced that I have found the answer to my healing.
I don't have long before eternal slumber. Possibly only until the end of the day. Thank you to all the people who didn't care about me. If it wasn't for you, maybe I would have survived somehow.
Maybe I didn't have too much to give, but I almost did. When the threat of death was most imminent was also when I regained full comfort with my art and writing. I probably could have become a popular artist and designed some good games if I had been allowed to live. But now my fate is in the afterlife. Hopefully I can be immortal and powerful then. I had too much potential wasted by my short mortal life. But this life did teach me many things throug