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About Traditional Art / Artist Core Member AyaUnknown Groups :icondark-and-beautiful: Dark-And-Beautiful
All Things Dark And Beautiful!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
11 Month Core Membership
Statistics 539 Deviations 30,389 Comments 72,547 Pageviews

Are you joining Inktober this year? 

26%
17 deviants said Maybe, still deciding
25%
16 deviants said Yes!
22%
14 deviants said Nope :>
20%
13 deviants said Nope, wish I could tho
6%
4 deviants said Yeah, but I'm not sure I'll be able to do all prompts each day
2%
1 deviant said What is inktober? inktober.com/rules

Shoutbox

catname:iconcatname:
Meow!!! xD
Thu Apr 5, 2018, 3:12 AM
MurderDuck:iconmurderduck:
Hahaha go for it!! I bet i'd be ducklishy cute
Fri Dec 29, 2017, 2:57 PM
MurderDuck:iconmurderduck:
You are a candy bar!!
Tue Dec 26, 2017, 10:30 PM
xXJeweltheCatXx:iconxxjewelthecatxx:
I really like your work! Keep it up!
Tue Dec 26, 2017, 4:53 PM
AndrewKi:iconandrewki:
Thanks for the favs & the llama ^^ means a lot
Fri Dec 15, 2017, 12:27 PM
toterkrieger:icontoterkrieger:
Trick or Treat!^^
Tue Oct 31, 2017, 1:14 AM
jenninn:iconjenninn:
Happy Birthday! :cake: :party: :hug:
Sat Oct 28, 2017, 10:30 AM
Gytrash01:icongytrash01:
Wish you a very happy birthday ! :cake: :party:
Sat Oct 28, 2017, 8:43 AM
toterkrieger:icontoterkrieger:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYA!
Sat Oct 28, 2017, 1:05 AM
MurderDuck:iconmurderduck:
shoutbox flattery war xDD
Tue Oct 3, 2017, 2:33 PM
Nobody

<3

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Sep 23, 2018
8:29 am
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S-T-A-R-gazer
Sep 22, 2018
7:33 am
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emilia-veiland
Sep 21, 2018
5:09 pm
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7ix
Sep 21, 2018
1:44 pm
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suviridian
Sep 21, 2018
11:54 am

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___


Candles by LewdTea

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Aya-Lunar's Profile Picture
Aya-Lunar
Aya
Artist | Traditional Art

:iconblackrose-1::iconblackrose-2::iconblackrose-3::iconblackrose-4::iconblackrose-5::iconblackrose-6::iconblackrose-7x:

Commisions are open, just note me.

roe skull (free to use) by AkumiIrako

Hi, my name is Aya, I welcome you to my profile! Please feel free to give your opinion!! :blackrose:


If you like my work,
please give me a like on Facebook too!




Interests
I don't really want anyone to read or respond. Secretly I might cause I say the opposite. Or not. I don't know.

I do know I need to do something. Instead of keeping it inside.
I need to let things go, and let things get out. But I think what is even the point of it all, this world is fucked, humanity is fucked, our wildlife is fucked the enviorment.. The Earth is fucked. We're killing ourselves. And you can only try and do so much, you won't achieve anything on your own.

But we all are, just fending for ourselves, only caring about ourselves. It's the easiest. It's so absorbing to care for others and other things. 

I need to draw, I need to paint, but I cry and I hate every line on my paper. I did have some ideas but whenever I try to do something with it. I just well up with hate. I hate what I'm trying to do. I just want to create, finished pieces, I create something with the meaning to finish it in to one concrete idea a piece. Finished.

I tried sketching. It makes things worse for me, to just doodle without an end. It's all horrendous.

I need to let frustration out. I need to do it via art. But I can't I'm overflooded. I just want to stay inside, I don't want any responsibilities, I just want to exist I guess, without pressure, without a job. Or friends, just exist and medicate with whatever. Drift along the stream untill death, than our dying world will be another one's problem. I woulden't have to care about anything. It sucks having will to live, but not will do something with it. I can't. I'm very useless, anyone trying to tell me otherwise doesn't know me or is lying. I can only function short periods of time, and even then not to the fullest cause I still don't do the things all normal people would have to do in society. Why can't I just be less emotional less thinking. Why can't I be something else. If I was an animal I'd suffer the horrors we put onto them. I'd find a small spot where they can't go. We're surrounded. We're alone and no one to guide us. Who will guide me?
No one can but I can. And I don't have strenght or will. I have will somethimes. But I'm afraid to do this thing called life, I'm letting it slip away. My childhood seems from another lifetime, my teen years seem like a lifetime away. I feel old. I feel rusted and used. Overused while I've been more like a car in carpark forgotten and no use to start up anymore. I feel so old, while I should be in the prime of my life?

I sleep my life away, I wait it away, waiting for things that will never come, and letting things happen that should not happen. I made so many mistakes but staying inside might just be the biggest one. But going out and living is far scarier. I can't do it forever. There will be a time when I will be forced. 

I wish I could ascend. Go somewhere and live in one blissfull moment forever, thinking it would never end or stop.

People don't throw things in your lap, not everything. Not everything. Not everything..

Where do I go, where do I sit. Do I just.. What do I do?

Nothing fullfills. Nothing. Only dulling the senses with substance.

The thought of conversing with others makes me tired, it makes me sad, it annoys me. It takes all of me to not just stay in bed and never leave.

I have animals to take care off, I've let some down in the past. Never again will I punish an innocent animal life with my incapabilities. I wish I didn't have to. I wish I could just let myself go.

I have that creativity flowing, I want to do so many things but I'm tired, I can't find the strength, to facepaint, bodypaint, photograph things, photograph it. Paint on canvas, on paper. But I cannot begin properly, and I certainly don't know the end.

I won't double check this. No spellcheck, embarressing and all remaining.

I don't want to give love. Please don't confess, don't long for me. Don't want me, don't try to reason or convince me. I don't want soft souls. I'll just destroy soft love. 

Leave me be. Don't pester me with love declaration. Don't add to my pile of worries. Leave me be.

Save me.
Help me.
Forget what I said.
  • Listening to: Wardruna
  • Reading: /
  • Watching: /
  • Playing: Fallout 4
  • Eating: /
  • Drinking: /

Activity


Please check out these cheap commissions, my friend has had alot of bad luck, losing their house in a fire and basically everything! She needs money for various things, please consider helping her out!!

You can also donate to her Ko-fi account!
ko-fi.com/I2I1EJ3R
Traditional Commission Sheet by WatchuDrawing
Sorry for the absence, I'm doing my best! I'll soon reply to your comments and note! I'm feeling stressed out and a little lost again. Big desicions need to be made.
Can you all stop being so productive, I still have 245 deviations to check from the people I watch..

This is what happens if I don't check and comment each day, I've been postponing it all for a while now, trying to do a few per day, but it just keeps getting more, so I'm gonna bite through the sour apple(which I actually like)
And just go on this comment spree, and just take all your art in.. :p

Still love you :>
Do you ever work on multiple things at once, and just become so confused on what to work on and just feeling empty and sad inside, and being so bad at art.. All of a sudden,. And and.. I don't know.. I'm having a low..

I know I have to catch up on all your artworks! I try to check out all your journals and statusses etc, I might not comment on them, but I do check out the features and I fave so many stuff :>

I have given feedback to some of your newer stuff, but I have to get to all of you.. I also want to create so much, and that's why I first want to make and then give some more feedback.. Ugh, I do have some things finished, I have for a while now, but it's not due yet, and I'm stupid, so that's why it's not uploaded yet.. Ramble ramble..
I sometimes forget to eat.. Is that thing that happens to you too sometimes? I also have it with drinking too.. I don't know how to basic xD

<3

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