Being your own bestfriendI've come to terms with something most people don;t know about, being your own best friend. It may sound as if I'm being over dramatic, but I'm not, all i say here, is true. I have yet to find someone who says they are my best friend, i have yet to find one who will do anything for me, i have yet to fond someone who will listen when i need them to, and tell me all there stories. what is someone like me supposed to do, when you get up in the morning, and the only thing that wishes you a good day is your cell phone? what am i supposed to do about all those lonely weekends, that i spend at my dads alone, and sense I'm to ashamed to cry on the outside, I cry myself to sleep at night. I've had people in my past who try to be close to me, but im not good, interesting, funny, cool, relaxed and or loving to keep anyone for more then a month or so, maybe im just a terrible person, i just don't know.I have friends, but no one i can tell anything to, no one i can cry with, no one who will sit wi
Why?Nothing left to do Why did i think you where different?Why did I believe,that prince charming really did exist?Why did i loom into your eyes,and see something more, when now i look and see, what tears i have for you now. I see all those forces smiles, and all these days i go pretending in ok, when everyone besides you knows, i cry myself to sleep at night. Stuck in this world, No happily ever after. you are breaking my heart, but why do i stuill love you?
to love againTO LOVE AGAIN TO LOVE AGAIN,TO WANT MORE THEN IM ALOUD TO HAVE,TO BE THE GIRL WHO SITS ALONE IN HER ROOM READING,THATS MY LIFE,I WOULD WAIT FOR YOU TO CALL SIT UP ALL NIGHT JUST WAITING FOR THE BELLS OF YOUR VOICE,AND NOW I LOOK BACK,AT ALL THOSE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS WHERE A WAIST,NOW I LOOK BACK AND ASK WAS IT EVER REALLY LOVE OR JUST A FAKE PETTY LIE YOU TOLD ME,I KNOW I LOVED YOU BUT YOU WILL NEVER TRUELY LOVE ANYONE MORE THEN YOU LOVE YOUR SELF,YOU THINK YOU LOVE,BUT THATS ONLY THOUGHT,YOUR OWN THOUGHT.TO LOVE YOU IS TO LOVE NO MAN,TO HUG YOU IS TO HUG A BED OF NAILS.I THOUGHT YOU LLOVED ME,BUT I WAS WRONG,THANK YOU FOR THE WAKE UP CALL.
Love?...That line "can we still be frineds?"Is nothing....the fraise "frineds for life" mean less.in a world of taterd thoughts and dispicable actions, its amazes me how we can still believe in fairy tales, or how someone can look at another person and think they found someone they can spend theyre whole life with, when they know, deep in there souls, that this thing....that thing that tells you, you love someone will die down, and someday tell you to get away. Ive been beating down and abused, so nowi see how real people are, i see the bauty mos have on the outside, but i can also see, above all else, they horride selves that lie beneth the seemingly beautiful surface. And it discusts me to think that they mend one evil with another to create such a thing as love. A word of myth that kills, and mames.. A word that brings whole kindsdoms to theyre end. All in the pursute of maybe trying to be happy. When at the end of the day we all know. It dosent feel real...Or right
they dontthey dont know anything, but they think they do.they dont understand how hard it is, yet theyre crushed under the weight of there own self loathing.they dont see how hard it is for someone like me to be here, in this world, were no one is like me, no one i can tell everything to.this world is different and this hell makes it all the more worse.I dont know if i can trust anyone or anything anymore...And im just not gonna risk trying.
this is my world tooi dont know anything.Im fat and worthless. Im scared and alone.I have no one i can count on.And no one to hold me when i cry.I hold this heart inside my chest, knowing it acked wit the sting of one million heart breaks. I dont forgive, and i dont forget, i know what you say but i dont like to listen, im worthless but im here to stay. even if i get in someone importants way, i smile and keep moving. cause i belong here just as much as anyone else!