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Sarmatian Sea Snail

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The Sarmatian Sea, which is otherwise called the East Germanic Sea, nourishes so many fish unknown to those who live in warm regions, so monstrous that [there is] nothing more so. Among others, there is one made exactly like a snail, but thick as a wine cask, having horns almost like those of a stag, at the end of which and on the branches of which there are little balls [or bulbs], round and lustrous, like fine pearls. It has a very thick neck,; its eyes shine like a candle, its nose is roundish and made like that of a cat, with a little bit of hair all around [it], having a very wide-slit mouth, beneath which a projection of flesh hangs on it [that is] rather hideous to see. It has four legs, and wide, hooked paws which serve it as fins, and a rather long tail, all spotted and colored in various colors, like that of a tiger. It stays out at high sea because it is timorous: for I am assured that it is amphibious, partaking of water and of land. When the weather is clear, it plants itself on the seashore, where it grazes and eats what it finds [to be] best. Its flesh is very delicate and pleasing to eat; whose blood is good for those who have diseases of the liver or lungs, as is that of the giant turtles for who are afflicted with leprosy
Ambroise Paré, On Monsters and Marvels (translated by Janis L. Pallister)
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ObsidianPearl's avatar
He looks like he could tell a good joke. =)