Local 'Hobbit' Charged With Murder 556 Years Later
March 25, 3019th year of the Third Age
BREAKING: Sméagol, better known by his alias “Gollum”, was sentenced to death by volcano just moments after an assault on a backpacking hobbit visiting Sammath Naur, a historical site within Mount Doom.
The sentence was met with overwhelming approval from the Council of Elrond, who had criticized Elvish security last year following Sméagol’s escape from Mirkwood Prison. He was being held there for unrelated charges of mischief.
In the 2463rd year of the Third Age, the then-tween Stoor Hobbit Sméagol was fishing in the Gladden Valley with his long-time friend and cousin, Déagol. Although there were no eyewitnesses that day, local Shirriffs pieced together the chilling sequence of events which concluded with the discovery of Déagol’s body.
Initial Shirriff reports suggested Déagol had drowned after being dragged into the water by a large fish, but furt