I've been almost silent and nearly completely absent on here for too long.
Just so you know, this journal is going to come around to an upbeat perspective, but it's gonna dive deep and dark first. Okay? A long absence deserves a proper explanation. I never left you, dA. Never.
The reason for this is summed up by a shitty couple of years taking their shots at me and my wife.
A few years ago, we were homeless, living with friends. Then we moved in with Cet's family. My wife has a difficult relationship with her parents at times, so that wasn't great, but it saved us. I will always set out to believe in family.
Throughout this general period of our lives, four of our friends attempted to take their own lives. Two of them sadly did. Two are still with us
A couple of Novembers back I got a job at a school, which has become a job I love at that same school. It got us out of Cet's folks' and into the city, lodging with a friend of my family. Cet also got a job some time after that, and it looked like we'd finally be able to get on up into real independence.
Cet's job made her sick. Violent assaults, lack of training, lack of support - and then came the day that they fired her. They lied about her in their report and it looked very like my wife was going to lose her clearance to work with children, which she had trained to do since she was a teenager. Cet got very sick after that. Depression with suicidal ideation. It felt like our world was being crushed bit by bit.
Not long after they fired her, the place she'd worked at got shut down for being unsafe. No surprises there, but not much consolation. Thankfully, my wife began to recover, and she is in good recovery now. She proved so strong when the next blows came that I'm still amazed.
My family lost their house to the mortgage people last October.
We lost our lodging in the city in November, without any warning (not my friend/landlady's fault, just unavoidable) so we were homeless too. I'd just helped get my parents out and to friends, and now we were moving too. The same day we had to leave the city, Cet got a job just down the road from there.
So, the Winter of 2017 and Spring of 2018 were spent commuting between the coast and the city, both of us working and hanging on. My family squeezed in with us at Cet's folks' again. It was stressful, but there was grace in it. A hard Christmas, especially for Cet, though. My mental health was.... a bit frayed at this point. We were conscious that because we were both working, we were in a position to save for our own flat deposit for renting - a step up, for sure, but we felt like we'd gone backwards.
Anyway, here we are, been living in our flat in the city for over a month now. We found the place, got in with help from friends and family, and it feels like the nightmares are receding a bit. Some days are still difficult, but we can cook for ourselves and keep house like fucking adults for the first time in a very long time. My family moved down to the West Country (Devon) like pioneers or refugees or a mixture of the two. We are still here.
And I'm back. Throughout this homelessness, my PC lived at a friend's. I've got it back now. I'm reconnecting with things that got stolen from me - not just my writing, but my communities. I'll understand if many of you aren't expecting this journal, if nobody reads it as a result, but I'm going to build dA time back into my routine. I grew up with this place.
Yeah. I'm back.
Sorry to get all heavy, guys! A new Maker's Bloodline book is coming soon, so watch this space, cos I'll no doubt be plugging it here like crazy. In the meantime, I'm working on the sequel to Gravedigger, and I expect I'll put sample chapters up here if people are interested.