AudeS's avatar

Ryuu no Seikatsu: Chapter 1

By AudeS
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With chapter 1 I wanted to delve into the earliest years of Yamato's life. As it looks obvious, he was not a fully fledged dragon at the beginning, something that in a few chapters will be further explained as this chapter serves to showcase the environment in which he grew up in and what relations he had. Family and friends, a rather happy and tranquil picture, soon to be shattered... the start of a personal quest. How do we approach life, if the world we lived in lies in shambles before us and repairing it is not possible? Do we dwell on what we loss? Do we try to safe what is still remaining? May we find something new as we march on? Who will we be at the end of it all?

Also, on purpose I picked a rat for the species of Yamato's mother, due to them being associated with wisdom in the Far East and also the smallest Zodiac. Dragon hybrids are a possibility here, as they are in fact in the folklore of some regions. The Long Gui comes to mind, a Dragon Turtle. But also in the West you may find the Zmey as an interesting case, as this multiheaded dragon may take human form to sleep with a human woman, resulting in an offspring that has a few draconic aspects.
© 2019 - 2020 AudeS
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TEK427's avatar
TEK427Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Okay, finally here. This was certainly an improvement over the first chapter you wrote for Yamato. The drama surrounding the death of his family seems more interesting this time around. I'm honestly curious whether this was an act of jealous love. Regardless of the truth, I foresee a great rift forming between Yamato and Katashi. 

Although, it doesn't quite feel right that Katashi's father would still bear a crush on Yamato's after all these years of marriage. And Katashi said it so nonchalantly. Perhaps it needed a suggestive interaction or two between Haruki and Matayoshi, if only to make the reader question whether or not it's true. 

Anyways, this was a solid chapter. I'm excited to start Yamato's story. :D 
AudeS's avatar
*chuckles and the does a bit of an evil laugh before snapping out of it* Ah, all cards go quite as I planned then. Since the first draft was made three years ago, I pretty much took the time to overthink a lot of things in this replanned story. Of course, the matter of Matayoshi being potentially mad... let's say more may be revealed in the coming chapter as I should not spoil the plotline so early. Though, naturally there is still a lot to come. And well, there might be bigger secrets to be revealed in part as well.
Shanglon's avatar

Oh my fucking god!............


Let me collect the intense emotions i had while reading this first chapter....i mean the last two pages....

Before i comment on the chapter i just want to point out two little typos before i forget to mention them: one at page 3 "bure" instead of brute (curiously in Italian bure means beam on a plough) and another one at page 5 "i whap hungry").

Now back to what i want to share in terms of feedback. I admit i read it the description first and this heavily influenced my perception of the chapter. Despite the jolly and happy atmosphere i always had a dreadful feeling that was haunting me during the reading. This feeling anticipated what i discovered at the end of the chapter. I wanted to believe the intense emotional slap was in the next chapter. intense that you managed to make me cry. I only cried once during a reading: it was when i read at Liceo Classico the Odyssey, the part where Odysseus meets Argus again T_T

I commend you, if we consider that Homer is very likely a legendary figure you were the first living author able to make me cry. I am still recovering from the feeling...damn. I had goosebumps at page 9 and this time it wasn't for positive feeling. I could literally feel what Yamato experienced with that new and since you even told me what happened to his father this is harder than any punch in the face and testicles at the same time.

Not to mention Katashi's reaction to the new regarding his father. Damn, jeez! Now i am even more curious to know the truth!

I loved how you managed to convey actions, places, emotions and events. The whole narration is very fluid and enjoyable to read. I read it while eating salad. I still need to finish Fatal Radiance but i can definitely see the improvement in the way words, conjunctions and prepositions are woven. I loved the mention of Amaterasu's myth. I love these cultural references that are candy for my nerdy mind curious to hunt down them. The description inspired me to explore the figure of the dragon, mostly Oriental but i don't rule out Western dragons as well. You mentioned how the dragon has many animal part (the Oriental one i mean) now i would like to explore the hybrid between dragons and other species. Dragons can really break the species barriers.

This chapter is awesome and i am more than sure it will open such mysteries but also conflicts and intense emotions.

Wow, what an emotional rollercoaster this chapter was O_O

AudeS's avatar
Thank you so kindly Shang for taking your time to comment on this. Since I have been writing for a while now, I am glad to know that I have improved from my humble beginnings and am in a more... well, I say I am more confident in myself now and also tend to be more free in what I want to do. Since I also have gone through several things about narrative structure and reflected a lot upon methods I used and those I plan to use in this story, I want Ryuu no Seikatsu to be a lot more focused and emotional than what I did before. I want to showcase a character whose strength is ultimately not being a creature with ridiculous powers in comparison to the enemies he faces... I want a character whose true strength lies in something far more important.
All things considered, I do take a sort of... anti-inspiration from a certain narrative style called "What you see is what you get". I want things to have a more lasting impact and thus let things move at a pace that has the conflict not resolved immediatelly to the benefit of the protagonist. This journey, shall be a long one.

Also, thank you for the help with the typos. I did overlook a few it seems.^^
Shanglon's avatar

I really hope more people will read and comment this because it fucking deserves it. Fatal Radiance may be your humble beginning but it's still an awesome story and it has a special place in my heart because it was my very first reading of your works.

Each character is cool with his/her strong and weak points. Same applies here. Of course i still have to know these new characters even if i already have a soft spot for Yamato^^

Ryuu no Seikatsu is a story that shows, to quote Pearl's words about strength (from SU), how to be strong in the real way. And yeah, definitely what you see is NOT what you get and in this story we will see this principle applied. I have a feeling we will see a lot of these dramatic turn of events. Even this turn of events may have a future dramatic turn of events.

I can't wait to read second chapter OvO