It has been awhile since I have visited Deviant Art. My best friend, my confidant, my sanity, my horse: Bentley died unexpectantly on June 4th, 2011. Bentley needed a home and I went to his rescue back in October 2010. I got his hooves trimmed up and he got to run and play in 2 acres of freedom. He gave me the confidence to ride again and because of him, I made new friends and my daughter started riding horses again even after falling off of a horse over a year ago and breaking her back in 4 diffent places. Bentley ws only 5 yrs old and acted like a 2 yr old. He was always getting into trouble and into places he shouldn't be. He was my passion for life again. I looked forward the weekends to go riding with my daughter and friends through the desert and riding under a full moon at midnight!
Bentley, my handsome morgan horse, my everything, suddenly got colic and I had to give the Vet the OK to put hiim to sleep. That was the most horrible decision I have ever had to do. I loved him with my whole heart. My best friend. He is in Horse Heaven now and at least he doesn't have to worry about the darn flies anymore. The Vet bill set us back over 800 dollars and the sad part is, I was so worried about the damn bills! I had to sell 3 of my 4 goats and I still have my Arabian mare, Misty. I always say she is crazy. I had a panick attack trying to trailer her over to my friends house 2 weeks after Bentley died and I broke down crying my eyes out. I did eventually make it to my friends house, but it just wasnt fun for me. Misty is a handfull and very spirited and spoiled. I missed Bentley so very much and felt guilty.
I am trying to spend more time with Misty and she is very photogenic. So I love taking pictures of her and jumping on her back and riding bareback around the block but that is about it. I don't go to my friend's house anymore to go riding. It just isn't the same.
I have been in such a depression ever since. My significant other is still out of work, so financially, I am devastated. We can barely afford to go buy an ice cream cone. I could sell Misty and Elvis but they are my life line. I need them for my sanity. I guess only animal lovers can understand where I am coming from.
I miss you Bentley!!!
I hate being broke all the time.
I hate doing the same old routine everyday.
I hate working inside of an office everyday and not being able to be outside and be with nature.
I miss the lakes and streams and rivers and maple trees and green grass and running my horse as fast as he can run and not having a care in the world.
I am so sad. I hate it. Is this my life? Will it ever get better?