Poor berseh, languishing in a corner of the Port Cymru SS station waiting with bated breath to be set upon by nasty men, or to be told to hurry up with the bacon and eggs and sweep that floor bitch! Well she posed a question about the logistics of slavery and the origins of Gweaneth, well here we go…
Once upon a time….
Mmmm, well that will have to do because the origins of the Kingdom of Gweaneth are lost in the mists of time ( and I am sort of making this up as I go along )
I have no explanation, for example, of why a monarchy has developed on an island in a part of the world with an idyllic climate, or indeed why given its appalling record of human rights it is allowed to exist. I have even less idea why it is Welsh in its culture and language, It just is!
I think I heard somewhere that Gweaneth is the only known source in the entire world of the mineral Lisidium, which some contend is a cure for all forms of cancer. That the kingdom has received the status of most favoured nation from none other than President Trump may or may not be due to any diagnosis that that ENLIGHTENED head of the free world may or may not have had. Suffice it to say the King of Gweaneth holds sole rights to the mining, refining, production and sale of LIsidium. That the military forces of Gweaneth are trained and armed by mysterious special forces who, it is rumoured speak with American accents. Thats about all of the history and stuff, simply accept that the kingdom of Gweaneth is protected and able to conduct its internal politics without regard to any one or thing else.
The most fun part of living in Gweaneth is that there are slaves, yippee!
Well yippee as long as your not one of them poor unfortunates. Slaves can be acquired from any source you like, or that I like, kidnapped from any country in the world at the whim of some monster, abducted from the hordes of totally stupid tourists who flock to the islands to put themselves in the path of slavers and the SS, or any pretty girl who takes it into her head to venture outdoors. Slaves are always girls and just in case you haven’t noticed, always bloody stunning! Well there was Mrs Brown I suppose, but she was stunning in a big is beautiful way, though she was a total bitch! Don’t believe me, ask berseh. Lets not get bogged down in logic here, this is fantasy and in this pantomime ( see what I did there? introduced a seasonal slant to the whole thing ) anything goes! So its best not to be a pretty young woman in Gweaneth if your not a Royal, and they aint all safe…
Every day in the magical world that is Gweaneth slaves get to reset things for a few hours, kind of R&R for the downtrodden, and if you believe that you probably believe in Santa.
So we all speak Welsh which is a bloody fantastically difficult language, almost as mind boggling as Dutch. Every girl who pops out to the shops can end up being sold into all sorts of unspeakable atrocities and perversions and stuff. Every hour planes arrive at the airport and deposit loads of potential victims who eagerly produce their passports and thereby proffer their wrists for the cold steel shackles that surely wait for them. Not to mention gags, pony girl outfits, rape and torment, bet you cant wait to get your undies into a suitcase and fly out can you?
Every man is full of shit and has inflated and ridiculous. opinions of his own capabilities. They are actually just poor inadequate little pricks really, except the King of course, you just gotta love him. He has all the money so he must have the biggest dick don’t you think?
Gweaneth survives only because we all love a good story and every good story needs a good stage on which the actors can perform.
Which leads me to the final pontification. Gweaneth doesn’t exist thank the lord or whatever deity you subscribe to, and all the bad stuff that happens there is purely fictitious and the product of my own perverse and fevered imagination. Gweaneth portrays violence and abuse and all sorts of really nasty bad stuff which no one in their right minds should either think is acceptable or seek to practice.
Be good each other, make love any old way that you like, but make love….