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I am alone in that darkness by Ashdei-san I am alone in that darkness by Ashdei-san
"I am alone in that darkness".
"You're not alone, Will. I'm standing right beside you".

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     Other Hanniart    

Well as for me i definitely stand alone.
I was going to write it's probably the last one Hanniart, cause i'm done with this fairytail for psychopaths, but remembered that promised a couple pics for my friend.
But--- when she finished her fanfic.
So i guess so far i'm done with it.
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:iconwesternwinds:
westernwinds Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2017  Student Filmographer
Awe this is absolutely beautiful!  I love the quote you wrote.  so sweet.  I know what you mean about standing alone.  Me too.  
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2017  Hobbyist
Thank you!
Eh, it's so sad to stand alone, yes.
I actually can't remember when the last time i sincerely smile about something happened in my life.
If you need to talk with smb, you can always talk with me if you want. Neko Emoji-17 (Happy) [V1]
Talking didn't help from loneliness, but helps to handle it a little, or just distract for a while^_^
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:iconwesternwinds:
westernwinds Featured By Owner Edited Jul 24, 2017  Student Filmographer
Awe i'm very sorry.  That is hard when you have no reason to be genuinely happy about anything...  :(  

Yes sure we should talk sometime.  But for me, what I mean for me is that on tv programs they have this one amazing true love or something, and of course it is easy to get jealous of that.  Like I used to get real sad thinking I never had this beautiful romance in my life, (I did get married, and for the most part we are happy together.)  But like this romance that is supposed to shake your life up, really didn't happen.  But I'm mostly okay with it now.  Though I still feel alone thinking about it.  
Also I have had bouts of social anxiety throughout my life, so in a very literal sense, I am alone.. though I am also like okay with the alone-ness too.  

But yes I would love to talk sometime if you want to.  I would hear more about your alone-ness.
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2017  Hobbyist
Thank you!
Seems like all fannibals was got married or something :D (no offense, pls,it was just weird to me cause i was surprised about that, maybe that's not my kind of show (cause i didn't feel much to get married right now, for me it's just story about high level of understanding, not just something like together-forever.) if you know what i mean). But i was in kinda long-time relationship, but it was never assumed marriage and it finished very bad, but maybe it counts for marriage. We have our good moments, but for me this person was never understand me or my needs, so i quit.
I actually more like anime-girl, Hannibal was rare tv-show thing that got under my skin.
I  guess just cause i'm orphan i understand loneliness in life, and need to keep your own self, cause i don't want to vanish into somebody's personality.
So for me it's both^^ I understand that maybe it could be beautiful to link with somebody, but i've never meet somebody which i could be linked with.
But i decided for me it's more precious to be myself (whoever i am), than just give up and flow.
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:iconwesternwinds:
westernwinds Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2017  Student Filmographer
yes i think married or single it's going to have ups and downs.  though when you are married you have someone, but you also can feel alone if they don't understand you and vice versa they can feel alone.   haha yeah i guess it's one of those dividers in life.  like if you are married vs not married and the people group in those groups.   So you didn't figure me in the married group?  
 yes an orphan, that is a very different experience then most people I think.  It seems like it would be very hard and lonely.  did you ever get adopted into a family?  
"But i was in kinda long-time relationship, but it was never assumed marriage and it finished very bad, but maybe it counts for marriage."
It definitely counts for something.  Except when you're not married things can end all of a sudden for no reason, but marriage i think that's less likely.  I had a relationship that lasted for years and i thought we were getting married and then it ended very suddenly.  
Yeah I don't like how when relationships start out good and then end up bad. Sorry to hear that.  That's hard.  :(

"So for me it's both^^ I understand that maybe it could be beautiful to link with somebody, but i've never meet somebody which i could be linked with."
Yeah in all honesty I think so too.  I mean I think love can be a beautiful and spiritual thing.  But either way, i think things do usually turn out okay.  Like whether you have a normal day to day relationship or like some beautiful one, or even just stay alone, I think we all just learn to survive for the most part with what we have.  

Well thats great that you are holding out and being yourself.. I think one of the scariest things is to wake up and find you lost yourself.  :)  I did that the other day, very scary stuff.  I don't recommend!
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2017  Hobbyist
Sorry for long response><
You know like this happens - when you have enough time to read comment, but not enough to respond...

All fannibals i've met are married somehow.  It's just a little bit strange :D

I'm afraid of marriage because of my living-together relationship experience. That just was too enough for both my lifes, that one and the second one. Maybe on third i consider about trying to invite smb in my life again. Just consider :D

I was adopted by my aunt. It would be better just leave me on some tower, i think.  But well, what's done is done.

It's sad to hear about your relations, hope now you find the right person! ^_^
I want to believe too that things will turn out ok.

Haha, i've got right the opposite, i someday woke up without any idea who i am, it was so nice seconds of my life... Just beautiful morning, sun, and no memory at all :D I think i dream about amnesia or such ^^
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:iconwesternwinds:
westernwinds Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2017  Student Filmographer
yes yes i think i can see what you mean about it being weird that lots are people are married that watch the show.  
I guess now I wonder if there is something to that.  

Sounds like you had an awful experience with someone.. :/  I did something a lot different.  And that is, I had difficulty with relationships and was done with them, and then I got married.  But really I admire your strength for being independent.  

"I was adopted by my aunt. It would be better just leave me on some tower, i think.  But well, what's done is done."  a tower... that's pretty funny thought, if it weren't a terribly sad  though.  I had a difficult relationship with my mother as well.  Which I guess would be weird to go into here. but will say it was unpleasant for me.  

Nah, it's okay to be married.  It just isn't the amazing love story in a book or tv.. which I know is unrealistic anyway.  It's 'fine.'   heh  :)

what you describe about forgetting and just having peace in the mornings does sound like it could be very beautiful.  :)

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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2017  Hobbyist
Maybe at first they were just attracted to the idea of cooking... somebody ^_^

Yep, wrong price and such :d I'd be glad to meet someone with who i would feel happy, but so far i didn't. Maybe i should just as you say "I'm done with this" and voila :D

Ok, I believe you, so I said that at loud :D

Well I guess to get a movie-tv-love-story requires to be like movie-tv-character. (That's what a told myself when i think my life is too boring)

But so short T_T
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:iconpeacebasher:
Peacebasher Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2017
Damn I love Hannibal, he can be so violent, but so charming at the same time. 
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2017  Hobbyist
:D You're so right! ^_^
He is "a big cat" (c)
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:iconishouldntsay:
IShouldntSay Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Hobbyist
Thank you! <3
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:iconsalyssong:
salyssong Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I wanna set the universe on fire
Feel it burn tonight
Set the universe on fire
There's no end in sight
Bring me to the holy raging power
Where I find my destiny
The universe on fire
You're my guiding light

Carrying the breath of fire within the lungs of steel
Soaring to light the flame forged by cosmic ordeal
Ascending on mighty dragon with metal wings and claw
In a great battle foregone one thousand years ago

Now lead me to the stars
Atomic flame ignite my heart

I wanna set the universe on fire
Feel it burn tonight
Set the universe on fire
There's no end in sight
Bring me to the holy raging power
Where I find my destiny
The universe on fire
You're my guiding light

Gliding across the sun to soak up all its might
Charging my solar gun and prepare for epic fight
Questing through nebulas in search for crystal stone
That gives me the overdose of force to claim space throne

It is time, take up your arms
Nova bombs and plasma guns

I wanna set the universe on fire
Feel it burn tonight
Set the universe on fire
There's no end in sight
Bring me to the holy raging power
Where I find my destiny
The universe on fire
You're my guiding light

Set me on fire

I wanna set the universe on fire
Feel it burn tonight
Set the universe on fire
There's no end in sight
Bring me to the holy raging power
Where I find my destiny
The universe on fire
You're my guiding light
You're my guiding light
You're my guiding light

Gloryhammer:Universe On Fire
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Hobbyist
Hug 
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:icondawnieleelee:
DawnieLeeLee Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017
Noooooo, don't leave the Hannigram! This is so amazing, I love all the colors and the lighting. It's just so breathtaking! Please stay!!
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist
Thank you! ^_^
I guess i just tired
In my fantasies Hanni and Will are happy-together-forever, i'm envious so i don't wanna see that anymore :D
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:icondawnieleelee:
DawnieLeeLee Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017
Nooo, but that's so sad... 
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Hobbyist
yep.

but really i have only one friend who share this obsession with me and she's more in fanfiction than drawing
 i guess i just want something real :D
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:iconmokeia:
Mokeia Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
THIS IS SO PRETTY AAAAAAAAAAH!!!! i love the way you drew them Llama Emoji-23 (Shyness) [V1]  Heart Heart Heart Heart 
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist
Thanks! Neko Emoji-16 (Blush) [V1] 
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:iconmokeia:
Mokeia Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
no problem <33333
i hope you're having a lovely day, sweetie Hug Heart Heart Heart Heart 
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Hobbyist
So do you ^_^Hug 
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:iconmokeia:
Mokeia Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you Heart Heart Heart 
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:iconlaughterfrombefore:
laughterfrombefore Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
beautiful :3
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:iconashdei-san:
Ashdei-san Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist
Thank you! Basic reindeer 
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