The fog besieges, a cloak upon my wary mind
A fraction of me notices the descent into sleep
The rest unceremoniously decides to ignore it
I float, a different self, into the room prepared
It is dressed with oddities that seem so familiar
There is a strange and listless peace for a space
The room begins to vibrate in visible waves
And I can feel the threat before it reaches me
It bleeds throughout the air and bids me hurry
My feet glide on frictionless panels into the air
I run and don't look back, yet the evil reaches me
I wake, unable to keep a grasp on the transience
Great imagery here! Definitely hits close to home with me. I love how at the beginning, you add that small bit of detail about actually falling asleep. To me, that's exactly how I perceive it when I feel myself nodding out of consciousness. I also really like the sudden speed you pick up towards the middle/end. The bit about your feet "gliding on frictionless panels into the air" is perfectly described. I can't tell you how many times I've had dreams that feel exactly like that. Trying to run from something but having nothing available to give me any traction. I've never actually been caught in any of my dreams, but I suppose that may constitute a dream turning into more of a nightmare at the end, which I definitely appreciate you adding to this bit of poetry. The transitions are smooth and almost perfectly render all the feelings one may experience when falling into a dreamlike state. Superb job!
Very esoteric, I like the feeling of eccentricity and panic you invoke. Dreams can be so strange, can’t they? Nice work, good luck in the contest!
Thanks! Maybe you can vote for me when the time comes?
This was really good! I like the creepy tone of it