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Deviant for 12 Years
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Mature content
16 August 2011 :iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
15 August 2011
Five years of my life with people who felt
Nonfiction meant no imagination
No Heart and Soul
No Thoughts
No money for Red Bull
And free drinks all around
Living off my boss for limes and bitters
I suck at a cigarette
And wonder what the fuck is wrong with this world.
A coffee costs the same as a light and a friend
But a friend is too sick to see me
And a lighter feeds me the drugs that make me sick
So I borrow the lighter and buy a coffee
Sicker and closer to death
I feel closer to you
The sugar is from Australia
The coffee is from a family's labour,
   who may not afford to eat today
The spoons are washed by the priveliged who don't care they're already clean.
I'm filthy and pure and I'm in love with your friend
In the cold and the sun
I miss you more than you will ever know
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
August 13, 2011
August 13, 2011
I read until my eyes were bursting and I could not read,
I read until my lungs were out of breath and my heart screamed, "no more." I read until Dewey was a close friend and the library questioned its stance on knowledge acquisition.
I listened to interviews, lectures, National Radio, international radio, car radio, online radio, podcasts, audiobooks and speeches.
I listened until my ears were swollen and I was red in the face, until everything with a battery slowed to a halt and Noise Control monitored my whereabouts.
I watched ideas, opinions, facts, thoughts and feelings all mashed into moving pictures
My eyes dried and closed so my ears opened further, I watched until my brain ached, the chair groaned, and the internet company wrung their hands in joy and fear.
I slept until I was too depressed to keep sleeping.
My eyes drained back to their normal size and my ears yearned for more noise.
When the nightmares ran out of ideas to scare me and the impatience to move su
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
I put my love in the sea but careful packing let it float
I buried my love in the ground but it just poisoned the soil
They say if you love something then let it go
Would that I could
Would that it would leave
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
When it's windy
The trees come alive and rustle like waves at the beach
Large pines shake and pinecones wave
Bushes and greens conspire to know more,
   rubbing together, bouncing off,
   to remember who and when, what and how,
   drops in the ocean
My dog ends her bark to begin the kings fool, and ushers the fourth act.
The forest crumbles
The reminder remains, written to me
Penned in feather and packaged in tempest,
You Should Know Better
As I stand helpless in the strange assembly and hold my ground as the tsunami heightens
I look down at the little girl in my arms and ask
What Have I Done?
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
12 September 2009
I smoke cigarettes
when you're not around
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
5th may 2009
I ran into town trying to find the solution, I didn't care about resell value or any value at all because I had money but/
Everywhere I looked I saw shoes/
And shoes would be the answer to the problems/
I started deciding which to buy and when Id get paid to buy them/
So the solution could arrive in a neat cardboard box/
but shoes are never the solution to the problem/
If they were they wouldn't wear out within 2 months/
Although two full months looked pretty good, even if the heel broke after the first/
So I looked and screamed fuck
How did I get here?
What am I doing and why are there so many shoes
I paid off my bill at the post shop
And it was only fifty dollars but fifty dollars won't cover it
Fifty dollars can't buy away that many sins
I checked my mail and found a power bill
another bill maybe we're getting close
I didn't want to spend any more money or time or pay off the sins account/
I wanted shoes with broken heels
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
Mature content
4 January 2009 :iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 3
                                               Rough time;
Watching the pause button lift and finding one's existence 12 months in the past.
Realising her mortality the same time i realise shes sick, the same time i realise she's gone,
Bearing the speed wobbles as my life starts again,
Realising life never stopped,
Fast forwarding through 12 months of wasted emotion.
                                              Wasted emotion;
What you feel when you don't know what you're going through,
When we don't know what we went through 't
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
2 October 2008
I stayed in till the bathwater was cold
A shuddering, sweaty bundle tied up with legs and arms
The water (blood) had spread all over the floor
Under the door and in my hair
Slid down my face
I tasted with my tongue and saw
Everything stayed put, the bathwater cold and high
I was just a comment on a world too full for another object
Written on the sheets of our bed and scrawled across the white of the floor
Sliding down my own face and splashed across his arms
I was nothing more than before I was anything at all
In richness or in poverty this world is full already
Full like the bath,
Saturated like the towels
As empty as it will ever be, as full as it ever could
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
I tried to draw my feelings for you but all I got was a bathtub.
      In horrible perspective, it was square and dug out in formica
I placed my bathtub in a box
Tightly packed the sides and top
Padded in foam so it wouldn't break
Nailed up the sides so it couldn't escape
I hoped it would look official enough to be put in a container on a container ship and sailed far away
I put my love in the sea and hoped it drowned but even a formica bathtub will float when you try hard enough
I wrapped my love in a comet spiralling into space but it left a trail and spread through the cosmos
I buried my love in the sands of time and waited to heal but it dissolved in the desert and all saw its colour
My love sat in my bathroom
I knew i'd never be clean
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 1 4
3 Nov 2007
anger is partially
submerged and
tears are drowned,
although its much like freezing the entire ocean solid,
its better than tying myself to bamboo shoots
(sometimes progress is a synonym for masochism)
and nothing should warm my freezing heart
to warm is to melt to melt
is to relax and to relax
is to let more in and out and through
affirm it all
im angry
im exhausted and i have no room
(lets say it like you do)
no room for sadness
progress is sadness so putting it all on ice may be cryogenic yet
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 1
14th january 2006 by ArticlesofFaith 14th january 2006 :iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 4 11 nov 2006 by ArticlesofFaith 11 nov 2006 :iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 0
I know that I’m the one who wants to do the talking and I don’t even know if you’re interested enough to listen I think that you like silence but
What do you want me to say?
Do you want me to tell you I thought of you when ‘more than words’ was on the radio and I thought of him?
Or do you want me to tell you while I was sleeping next to him I dreamt sweet dreams of your legs your lips your breasts?
Would you prefer I don’t tell you at all and ask how your day was so you can chatter back things I don’t care about
Should I tell you I only listen to you in the hope you will soon stop talking and one of the reasons I lust for you is that in that state, in that position, in the bodily bliss, I could ignore what you said or think it cute and write it off
Should I tell you you only have male friends who have experienced this because others don’t know what its like to be in your bliss and there’s nothing else there to love
Shall I tell you I know yo
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 1 1
Articles of faith
i slept with my paints that night
i thought it was fitting
fitting to what and to whom i will never know
but if i ever find out i will pin that person down and get back all of my clothes
i wear my articles of faith around my neck
theyre so heavy and they cut so deep
you took everything else, why couldnt you..
:iconarticlesoffaith:ArticlesofFaith 0 1


school playaround 2 by eniporta school playaround 2 :iconeniporta:eniporta 1 0 Unknown History by brjack Unknown History :iconbrjack:brjack 1 3 Random Olivia by eniporta Random Olivia :iconeniporta:eniporta 1 4 Ginger Bread Light by LV-Na Ginger Bread Light :iconlv-na:LV-Na 1 0 Fetish Ball Gemma by eniporta Fetish Ball Gemma :iconeniporta:eniporta 1 1




Artist | Literature
New Zealand
Current Residence: changes weekly
Favourite genre of music: just about anything
MP3 player of choice: ipod! (what ipod..)
Favourite cartoon character: Blue! from blues clues
Personal Quote: "man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains" Rosseau
Ha! I am still alive!

Been busy doing..stuff. Like becoming a fat housewife (read: no longer appear as anorexic, housewife only applicable insofar as I'm in a house mostly) and fattening Josh up so I can one day cook him as well. It's at the point where I'm working through the cookbook, and doing a recipe a day. It's really suprisingly awesome, some things I wouldn't have dreamt doing (Cider Vinegar + Cheddar Cheese + Oregano + Broccoli = delicious), and because I have to eat dairy again I can use the veggie Jewish cookbook which I got ages ago (Jews put egg and dairy in anything which doesn't have meat, it feels like).

What else. Haven't started writing yet (promised myself I would). And I'm at 8 years without a new publication, which lets face it, is embarassing and if I saw my mentors they'd be furious. Starting to feel like one of those dicks that never produces anything new (or consistently produces the same dull stuff), but runs around telling people they're an artist/writer/photographer/etc. So I have to go back over my last 2 years of work and actually edit it, because it's mostly still in raw form, see if any of my old contacts are even still alive and kicking, and do something about my writing or relegate it to a hobby, because it's been too long.

Uni is good, and I'll finish my degree before I have the baby, which is awesome. Some of my classes will get uncomfortable (for everyone else) because it's philosophy/religion/politics and arguments often begin with "would you be happy raising your child in ... circumstances?". Also, I wanted one of my essays to be on abortion, but I'd have to present my work when visibly pregnant, and it's just not a great idea, because that's probably the only class I have in which we genuinely try not to hurt each other's feelings.

This time next year I'm going to be doing postgrad at Vic, or will have moved from Welly. Either Martinborough or (gulp) Hawkes Bay to do viticulture and learn the other side of Wine. Ideally I want to be in France learning viticulture (as well as getting a better grasp of French) but I'm not sure how happy everyone else will be with this decision, so I've pulled it back a bit. Its been in the plans for a while so noone can really say they didn't see it coming.

What else? Quit my job, if that isn't obvious. Had a hell of a time doing it, because I was so sick (and homeless) for the last month and a half of it that I let things slip that I shouldn't have, and was mercilessly bullied for that entire time. HR wouldn't help because I was leaving- as far as they were concerned, they were stoked to give the powers that be a reason to fire said manager. Said manager is not yet fired, and i'm still spending an average of 30 minutes a day as counsellor/listening post/sounding board for everyone who's still there, trying to help the poor things out. The lady who replaced me is already causing hell, and I'm finding it hilarious. The rest..I just feel bad for them. I recently had to threaten legal action to get my severance pay, upon doing so I got it, but it's going through today/tomorrow, and may end up being considered current earnings by the Government, which means they'll cut off my benefit for 6 weeks, and I will be more than broke- I'll literally be physically unable to stay in Wellington, because the landlord has a court order saying that if we miss rent by more than 2 days, we will be locked out and put on the street that night. Ugh.

Oh, and in the past three months (which is getting to feel like an extremely long time) the only two romantic suitors who I've had have either turned out to be 1) over 40 years old, obsessive, and creepy; and 2) secretly dating a girl I know peripherally (that would have been fun, going to her birthday party on Saturday without knowing. Don't care particularly. Hopefully I can sit there and laugh as she tries to keep us out of the same room the entire night :D )

Is this all a good thing? Is this an improvement? Is this a step backwards? Its different, I guess.
  • Listening to: Crooked Teeth- Death Cab for Cutie
  • Reading: Articles on NGOs
  • Watching: Wellington out the window
  • Eating: Nothing :( I want eclairs :(
  • Drinking: Nothing :( I want green tea :(


Add a Comment:
HaanaLein Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2010
thaaaank u! :tight hug:
shakingoffhalos Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks so much for the favorite :)
ArticlesofFaith Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2009   Writer
s'alright :)
theodamus Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2009
Boo! How are you?
ArticlesofFaith Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2009   Writer
Raarrr!! I'm ok. How you doin?
theodamus Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2009
Purty alright. Soul still being eaten by the monster that is this disgusting city. But everything else is pretty much peachy :)
LV-Na Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
thanks for the fav! :D
ArticlesofFaith Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009   Writer
ITs such a cool pic :D reminds me of how I feel a lot of the time :)
passenger Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2008  Student
ArticlesofFaith Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2008   Writer
Hows it going over there honey?
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