literature

Mad Man Steve Ch. 3

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ArtCrusade's avatar
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Literature Text

Let us move back to where the story began;
after Steve was punished, this poor mad man.
He sat in the corner of his comfortable cell -
Not wearing a straitjacket, but still not feeling well.

Bruises were spread all over his face
in red, blue and green, even purple in a case;
and though his nose was not quite straight,
worse were his eyes which looked like closed gates.

But in spite of the inhuman maltreatment he received,
he somehow managed to look quite relieved.
He bared his teeth as if trying to smile,
a cough escaping him every once in a while.

"Better lose a few teeth than our chance to flee,"
said the voice inside his head which was called 'Free'.
"That one is new," was all Steve could note,
but yet another voice arose: "Can we have a vote?"

"Who the hell are you?" asked Free, the second voice.
With a sting of fate it replied: "My name is Choice."
Steve's eyes rolled around inside their swollen pits
as he pondered why voice one had fallen into bits.

Was it the torture that he had to go through,
or maybe a hidden pill inside his last stew?
He could not tell, but neither did he care;
should both agree to play together: all fair.

Choice interupted his thinking and playfully said:
"I know that I am but a voice inside your gorgeous head
but would you not agree that I am sublime?
I always make the right decision in the right time!"

The voice called Free replied with provoking tone:
"But I give him strength, because I never condone!"
The response made Free and Choice twitter and gibble
'til finally Steve fell back and started to giggle:

"How nice it is to not know the fear of being alone,
but why don't both of you seat yourself on the throne?
I for one would like to leave the thinking to you two
after all the shit that I alone had to go through."

They were quiet for a while, then Choice began:
"The one should rule where he best fits your plan
and be quiet at times when you have no demand-
though I still think I'm the best-- on the other hand."

"I want to be Free, so I agree with this smart deal,
but keep your eye open for your next meal."
Steve, who had not even said a single word
now mocked: "Great! It does not sound crazy, nor absurd!"

After this, no more words were needed to be lost.
The three of them sat there with their fingers crossed,
ambitiuously waiting for the time
when their next chance would come with a bell's chime.
The story develops really nicely! Steve is such a likable mad man. :giggle:

- Chapter 1
- Chapter 4

Revised May 21st, '14: - New structure -> Quatrains!
Comments3
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Miss-Mutated-Mango's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

This one truly requires the reader's full attention. With the quick switch of dialogue and the confusion of whom is saying what, it can really make you lose your sense of what is going on. Normally I would recommend against this, but as we are in the mind of Mad Man Steve, I see it as very fitting!

I do wish that we could have seen what the Interloper had done to Steve and why, but given the result, perhaps it is best to keep out such a graphic scene.

You do a good job with drawing in your reader and leaving them on the edge of their seat to see what Steve - or more accurately, his voices - have planned.