Trying to take the meaning off a word won't do a thing for you. You can poke yourself in the eye some sort of personal auto-lobotomy with a sharp ethereal object and you can cut off your ears, but the word is there, it's been said, it's growing inside your mind no matter how deaf or blind you've turned willingly to.
time is linear but the understanding of it may not be, and we understand you want to get rid of what is already there and what can't be erased.
a kiss on a scar of a dismantled personality, left and right, black and red, identity divided into one that says
I don't know who I am or how I got here, but it's okay because I know I