What I'm hearing from you is, first off, crystal-clear insecurity in that you evidently don't know how to properly respond to the issues raised and rather resort to insulting and trash-talking your opponent (which I would recommend that you avoid), and second, that you're very much in rebellion against God and doesn't want God in your life or to have anything to do with anything that you do (because, after all, we all know that we're in big trouble, because we've done a lot of bad things in this one life we've been given), but you'd remain in darkness, and keep letting the Devil deceive you with all his sweet lies until you eventually step through the gates of Hell, rather than coming forward naked and ashamed into the light and admitting in front of God that you're a wretched sinner in need of redemption through the precious blood which Christ as God in the form of an innocent human being shed for your sake on the cross of Calvary, to pay the price for all your sins only so that you could enter into Heaven and experience eternal joy together with God and be welcomed into His family, destined to inherit the future New Earth where there will be no more death, sorrow, or suffering.
We can cry and complain all we want, but if you choose evil over good, darkness over light, rebellion over humility, Satan over God, then you only have yourself to blame, and in Hell there are no more second chances (while this current life is filled with them, though none of them are guaranteed), but you will spend eternity the way you wanted by crying and rebelling against God as much as you can and constantly experience all the shame, regret, and pain without end and God will never ever again hear you, because your decision has been made. As C.S. Lewis once said; “There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. Those who knock it is opened.” I love you, as a fellow sibling in the world, and all I ask is for you to be wise in this. Again, this one life is a gift, so please don't waste it by rebelling against your Creator, who even died on a cross for your sake so that you could be free from the darkness.