AppleDainty

Yeah, I think that's just a style thing for you lol! Jiggly butts, yay XD

Well, I can see where you could think that the head is too big, but I think the real problem is her shoulders. You dropped one of them, but it's turned very awkwardly, and it looks too small - the rear shoulder looks bigger than the forward one. That's what is throwing this drawing off. The head and the body are proportional to one another, but the forward shoulder being turned and a bit too small makes the head look larger than it really is.

I also think that the back of the head got flattened out a little. It looks like she's leaning against something, but since you can't see the surface she's leaning against, it makes the hair look a bit strange.

The foreshortening on the leg coming toward us looks a little off, but I think that might have more to do with the coloring flattening it out than anything else; I think it needs a bit more of a highlight to make it look 'round'.

The only other thing I'd like to comment on is the curve where the thigh meets the buttocks. It looks like it's a bit too deep of a curve, but that's just me being a little picky.

Phew, sorry for the wall of critique text. I actually enjoy this drawing a lot, it's good to see someone who knows what they're doing with textures. I know the drawing is categorized as digital, but it has a very organic/hand drawn feel to it, and you didn't try to clutter it with a whole lot of background. The coloring is clean and simple, and I think that's what you were going for - you definitely achieved it.

This page is really excellent overall. It uses a good range of camera angles, and displays your ability to draw backgrounds very well. My only gripes come from page direction.

When you're writing a comic for the european market, where words are written left-to-right, it's generally a good idea to have the action flow left-to-right as well, since that's the way our eyes have been trained to read a page. Your word balloons do a good job of taking the eye through the page in the left-to-right way, but your action goes the opposite direction. Another good reason to have the action going left-to-right is because that will lead the reader's eye to the end of the page, causing them to instinctively want to turn the page, and continue reading.

The only other small problem I have with this page is that the fifth panel breaks camera direction. It's best if a character faces the same way in every panel, that way it's easier to identify the character without having to take an extra second to think about it. That matters a lot more when there's more than one character in a page or panel, but it's still something to keep in mind. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)" /> The easy fix for that would just be to flip the panel.

You work is again, pretty spot on, so most of what I have to say is going to be a little nit picky - but it's always good to keep the little things in mind, since they so often make a big impact on our work. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)" />

I think you're a little afraid of pushing your outer lines. Many of your outlines just don't push enough. I think if you thickened your outer edge line weights in most of your panels, you'd see that the characters and foreground elements pop out a lot more and really add depth to your art. I see you trying to do it in the last panel with that foreground bush, but I think you could still add more. The major problem area I see for this is in panel one where the lineweight on the bushes behind the character are actually heavier than the lineweight on the character. Do you see how pushing the lineweight on her would make it look more like she's in passing in front of the bush?

The only other problem I see is that the positioning of the panels on the door look a bit off.

Anyhow, that's about it for now. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)" /> The page looks really good, you've done such a great job at all the little background details. I don't know what there is not to like, really.

Fantastic work, Kichi! Love Critical Roll and love seeing more work from you.