I feel like such a stranger to DA nowadays that it feels weird to even write a journal on here! I think it must be over a year and a hlaf since I even posted any art or writing, man I'm such a loser...
But it's been sooo long that I thought that I would post an update on my life for anyone bored enough to care to read about it! I'm pretty sure the last post I made was when I graduated, which in a few months will be a year behind us!
So to recap I finished my 5th and final year at university with my English and Education majors, and then I worked at a daycare over the summer which was fun!
I didn't end up managing to snag a teaching job this year, but I did become the Director of Kids Club, which is a before and after care program at an elementary school (which is part-time). And between my morning and evening shifts at that job, I also subbed a lot in a different district (they won't let me sub in the same district I work part-time at because then I might work 40 hours which is full-time and they don't want to pay me for that).
So I've been working in 2 districts essentially and driving like 60 miles a day to work as a director and as a substitute. And now just this month, one of the schools I subbed for frequently took a liking to me and now I am also a long-term sub (also part-time) as a special education resource room teacher! So as of last week, I am the director of a before/after school care program, a long-term substitute as a special education resource room teacher, and because my new long-term sub job is only a Monday-Thursday job, I also sub in other schools on Fridays like I did before I had the long-term sub job!
So! I guess that means I work like 3 jobs??? And I essentially work as a housekeeper at home because my ass can't afford to live on her own still and my mom refuses to act like an adult and take care of the house, so someone has to help dad out! I'm hoping that next year I can get myself a full time teaching position but we will see. The principal at the new school I work for as a long-term substitute let me in on a big job fair the district is having next weekend, so I'm hoping to wow all the interviewers with my current 3 jobs and obnoxious personality, so I really hope I can make a good impression and start my career! If nothing else than to actually work as a teacher, I really can't stand living at home anymore with my psychotic mother and I need to move out! And I can't do that with part-time jobs!!
My life besides that is really boring. I spend most of my time working and since I work from 6:30am - 6pm and I don't even get home until almost 7pm my social life during the week is dead and my weekends are spent recuperating and lounging around
which has nothing to do with my lack of available friends near me. I got a wonderful vacation at the beginning of March though, on a family trip to Florida that I used to take every year until I had college to worry about, so that was a great break.
Still forever alone, but let's be real, who in their right mind would willingly want to date me. I'm a hot mess. Plus, guys stress me out. They always have ulterior motives; I have a list of at least 10 guys that have given me reason not to trust them! I did attempt dating this year but again, stress is real, and I think I would rather just worry about myself and not have to rearrange my life for someone else.
In art news, I tried to do some digital coloring not too long ago but didn't get into it (probably had more to do with forgetting how to use the damn program it's been so friggin long). I did start bullet journaling and one of the habits that I plan to track monthly is how often I write, so I'm praying and hoping this will help me to work on old stories and pieces that have gathered 3 feet of dust in my absence. Same goes for playing piano, but I don't do that often because the shit keyboard my parents got me at age 7 goes out of tune and certain keys and the pedal stops working so frequently that it makes it really hard to sit down and play without smashing the damn thing to pieces in frustration!!
Anddd....that's my life really (I say this as if I haven't just written a whole page of shit). I'm hoping that a teaching job is in my future soon (and following that the chance to have a place of my own), and I'm hoping that I can be more inspired to work on the stuff that I used to really enjoy. I feel like I often get guilt tripped by family when I put my time and effort into art projects or really anything that isn't work, and then I feel bad about spending time doing the things that I like to the point that I stop doing them all together. Another reason I need to move out. Hoping 2018 is a good year and that I can make some improvements in my life and in my state of mind!!
ALSO BTS IS COMING OUT WITH THEIR NEW ALBUM SOON AND I'M GOING TO DIE BTS IS MY WHOLE LIFE I WOULD DIE FOR THOSE BOYS LORD THEY ARE TOO PRECIUS AND PERFECT FOR THIS WORLD
Listening to: BTS
Reading: IT, a shit ton of webtoons
Watching: gonna start K-drama soon, looks good af