SN-SE 17.5 2

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o3o i just wanted to make these guys dicking around. o_o and yes, im aware that Tapu Koko is supposed to appear to have a beak. i didn't think of it at the time and just thought it was weird hair. o_o i think he looks better this way. less like a birb, more like an actual land spirit. by the way, this has been done for a while, like a month and a half in advance




prior to 17, at the Ruins of Conflict past the Mahalo Trail, a weird chicken man waits ...

-_- oh ha ha. by the way, im a fucking rooster man, get your facts straight, yo
*arrives* ... i noticed the bridge broke again
o_o oh, hey Lele. <_<;; yep. every time with this shit. do you know how many people i had to save just because of an old bridge that breaks repeatedly? 26 this month alone
o3o more than i've saved ... hehe, suckers. and Bulu's gotta give you better wood for this ... o3o oh, speak of the Giratina
*floating down* -_- Giratina isn't Poke-Satan, i thought we already established that
o_o all right, just need Fini now
i got your call, honey *takes out a phone*
2 to the 1 to the 1 to the 3, i like good pussy and i like good trees, smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe, and i get more ass than a toilet seat
o3o hey, you put my song as your ringtone
<_<;; we ... all did ...
no shame in that. this is the greatest thing you produced yet
damn right it is
so what's this meeting about? my fabulous bath was interrupted because of this
if this is about the wood, you're still getting the crappy kind
-_- cheapskate
o.O well not all of us are surrounded by lush and vibrant trees!
honey, you're the spirit of abundance, you can make more just like that
=3= shaddup!
... are you still hung up about the damn store? it's been years already, get that huge stick out of your vagina and let it go
=3= ....... ;3; i just wanted to look beautiful like Fini ...
i know, honey. i know ...
;3; uweeehhh *crying in her arms*
there there, honey... those nasty store employees just couldn't see what a real beautiful lady looks like. ._. although getting pissed about them mistaking you for a man and not having your favorite make up was no reason to go Primeape shit on that big store ...
;3;
every other week with this, i swear. you are a beautiful lady, honey
-3- what about me? im a beautiful lady too!
._. no you're not, we know what you are
the islanders don't~

o3o it's exactly what you're thinking folks

anyhow ... why did you call us here? are we getting fabulously high?
o_o nope. -_- and i lost my bong the last time i rescued someone from that shitty bridge
o3o rip
the reason's because of one interesting kid i saved
you're going after little boys again?
=3= i get both drunk and high one time and you still can't let that go ...
._. we had to call Uxie for that
<_< couldn't he have erased your memories and mine too?
*wiping her eyes* nope. he had a busy schedule
plus, it's actually kinda funny
-3- fuck you guys
so, very offensive jokes aside, what's the deal with this kid, honey?
he, interestingly, has strange powers. he could summon electric orbs from his fingers and manifest them into various abilities. i've seen him do plenty of shit. super strength, creating various objects and working electrical appliances, fucking Hadouken, he's got it all. i've never seen anything like that ... and i've seen Breakers and Moonsandians before. hell, i've even seen the "fabled" Zero Energy in person ....... ._. man, i wonder if something really crazy could happen to our archipelago because of him ...
crazier things have happened in other regions. <_<;; like nearly 2 years ago in Unova ... people claimed to see 2 winged adolescents with crazy fire and lightning powers, fighting in the skies above the Unovan league. ./_/. there were also those newspapers depicting city destroying penises ... *takes out a newspaper* i shit you not, it's real
./_/. how stretchy are those pants? *drooling a little*
i know the newspaper of that guy marrying his starter was real, i still have it. great to see people are being more open about it, even moreso now. 7 months ago, there were papers depicting some Kalosian teenagers marrying their own pokes
don't forget the interesting Heraclid marrying both a human and a poke
polygamy!
polyamory, honey. this case was polyamory. and speaking of Kalos, over 7 months ago, the entire region was being attacked by random legendaries, otherworldly legendaries, and hideous mutants. "PokeGods", those ugly freaks were called
o.o;; and they were, supposedly, all created by a single Breaker somehow. i wonder if that's really true ... ._.;; why are Breakers so involved with Kalos, <_<;; even a Heraclid, ._.;; it's not even that great of a plac-
oh, honey, it is true
wait, how do you know?
last month, i met Xerneas. she was there for everything ... and she isn't what you'd expect her to be at all ...

last month at the Seafolk Village in Poni Island ...

o3o i shit you not, that's seriously what happened half a year ago
o__o;; ... you're telling me that a Breaker somehow acquired your powers, created life, entered a god mode straight out of Final Fantasy, fought another god mode Breaker in space, and even destroyed other planets and the sun itself?
o3o yep ... but it was mostly the other one, the Heraclid, that did the destroying. o3o he even obliterated a fucking blackhole just by punching it
that shouldn't even be possible ... how did ....... ._. whew, and i thought my region was a mess. o.o;; why did you even create the Breakers anyway? what reason did you have to make superhumans that make Superman look like a pussy?
for friggin amazing orgies! *glows*
o.O that's why!?
*turns human* damn skippy!
o.o;; why did you turn human, honey? (thinks: daaaayum~)
because im Xerneas, bitch! ... well, actually, i got a surprise for you in that boat over there *points* and not all of them would be interested in my actual form (thinks: well, plenty would, but yeah)
o__o;; that Combusken boat wasn't there before ...
*whispers*
o_o ....... you better not be lying
why would i lie about this? im Xerneas, bitch!

back ...

a boat full of naked Breakers!?
i haven't seen that much cock since i went into a Pokeyes full of nudists ... and they were massive too ... they put the natives of my island to shame, honey~
... she really isn't what i expecte-o3o Jynx! you owe me a Soda Pop! =3= what!? you owe ME a Soda Pop!
*knocks on her horns* knock on wood
dammit!

o3o the Alolan Guardians, folks

o_o so yeah, look after this kid. oh, details, of course. he's fair skinned, short for his age, o_o 13 by the way, o.o;; surprisingly light, wears a black jacket despite the tropical climate, and his hair and shirt are a bright golden yellow. his hair also appears to be incredibly soft to the touch
*drinking Soda Pop* ._. wow, you really can't miss someone like that
any other details, honey?
for some reason, the techniques that he does with his orbs are named after Orange Range songs
o3o is there one cal-
no, there is no skill called Asterisk
o.O what the hell, man?
... well, what abou-
there's also no 02 or Shiawase Neiro
o.O what the hell, man?
well what ab-
Viva Rock isn't there either
o.O what the hell, man?
hey, im not the one who named them. o_o;; there's also no Kirikirimai or Shanghai Honey
*finishes her Soda Pop* ._.;; you'd think there would be, those launched their career *crushes the bottle with her head ... because she can*
._. i know, right? o.O what the hell, man? ... o_o and lastly, his name is Soun Engon
Engon? *drinks another Soda Pop* you mean like the guy that killed himself horribly at the native region of the Yungoos?
yup. that was his uncle who raised him for 10 years. learned plenty from listening in to his stories every now and then. o_o;; he's had quite the life. did you know that he's banned from Hoenn? this dumbass thought everyone in Lilycove was just like the assholes from Lilycove Shore
they were at one point, though
<_< but still ... o_o observe the kid when you see him in your respective islands. o.o we gotta prepare for if, or when, something insane happens due to his own presence. Lele, he's heading to Akala, you know what to do, i just said it. ._. and for the love of Arceus, don't fool around with the kid
isn't that what we should be telling you?
you bitch!
damn right!
*belches loudly* holy shit, where did you get this Soda Pop? it usually tastes more watered down in these islands ...



i don't own Pokemon, Nuzlocke, or any references used