Thanks very much for the lovely birthday messages! I had a good day with friends. Hope your weekend was nice too.
As you probably guessed from the title, I am going on a hiatus.
I will still be here, lurking about, occasionally submitting art and maybe even videos, but I can't commit to the schedule I had made for myself before.
Weekly videos and art started taking its toll on me, together with a health problem I have been struggling with for two months.
My energy levels are down, my mood swings from 'it's going to be okay' to utter desperation. I am uninspired and very stressed. I tried to keep up, to push through nonetheless but I feel like I need to take a step back now and reorganise some things in my personal life.
When I get better, I will try my best to return to posting weekly, maybe even more. When I find my spark again and when my mood settles, I will come back fully.
For now, thanks very much for supporting me - no need to unwatch me as I will be submitting art, I will be responding to comments but it will all be a bit more laid back and relaxed.
I hope you understand and I wish the best of health to you all. It is truly the most important thing in life.
The special price for Pony commissions also ends on 9th February:
'My Little Pony Traditional Art Commision Fanart/Original' Original size: A6 Materials: Alcohol markers, acid-free card £7 ---> £5 Shipping as per where you live Get it here: www.etsy.com/uk/your/shops/Ans…
Special surprise in each order!
NEW THINGS TO EXPECT IN THE SHOP IN FEBRUARY/MARCH: Coloring page bundles Art bracelets New original and fanart pieces Cute stickers
For some of you here it won’t make much of a difference but for those of you who also follow me on YouTube, here is a good explanation of why I am switching from 2 videos a week to one. This also means changes to my Patreon (from November onwards), Etsy (new store) and DeviantArt (may upload less but still regularly).
My jobs and my art
In May 216, when I started my channel and started creating art regularly I was employed in a very hostile environment. Due to my mental and health problems I was discriminated against and left feeling miserable and helpless – art was my way out. It was luckily a fixed-term job nearing its end so I was looking forward to changing my job and getting fully immersed in the world of art and video making.
In June 2016 I became more active on social media, I started knowing who people are in these circles and things got better. Not only that but my new job was great. It was varied, well-paced, full of friendly, understanding people. 5 months in, it still is – and this is why I took on more responsibilities and gave more of my time to it – leaving me with less free time to do art and all other stuff connected to it.
In September 2016 I had done a poll, I had done my research (or so I thought) so I launched my Patreon. I expected at least 1 or 2 of the 9 deviants who said they would support me to actually do – but nobody did and the realisation that nobody cared enough about my art hurt. anspire.deviantart.com/journal…
I know this is how real life is and I am just not good enough yet but feelings are feelings and mine got hurt a lot that time.
Biggest burnout ever
This event led to the biggest burnout ever, I pushed myself to create a huge free pack of stuff for my first Patrons but as no one claimed it, it was worthless. I felt discouraged and although I stuck to making art and videos it didn’t feel the same. My motivation was basically non-existent and as I pushed myself harder, the more unpleasant it became to get involved with the things I loved before.
I couldn’t stand to watch others’ art videos on Youtube, I couldn’t reply to people on DA for days because of this. Everything I created looked awful to me. I thought about giving up for good and taking on my job full-time – and leaving the creating to people who are obviously better at it.
Yet I still love to create art
In the end, I couldn’t give up because I realised I would feel hollow – I loved to art, so why give it up. I loved to make videos, it was fun. It wasn’t that rewarding yet but who knows – maybe sometime in the future I would be good enough.
I realised I need to practice more and stop trying to sell, to succeed. I had to absolutely love what I created first to be able to sell it to people successfully. I needed to step back and give myself time to rejuvenate my art feelings so I made a difficult but well thought through decision – I am cutting back on my content and striving to create one great video a week instead of two mediocre ones.
My other social media changes
Patreon pledges will change. My Etsy store will hold all my original artworks and commissions. Twitter will be as lively as ever – I love it so follow me for the latest updates and WIPs not posed to DA. And lastly, DA will still get a lot of submissions but maybe a bit less than in these last three months. Please stick with me and support my decision if you can.
Some of you may have noticed but I have revamped my DeviantArt and have decided on a direction to take with my drawings.
I have had trouble realising what sort of a creator I was because I love writing but I also enjoy painting. I decided not to choose so I also added making videos to my pool of creative stuff to fill my time with. More explanation in my video below.
Most probably I will start my Patreon soon, so look forward to it but before that, please go over to my new channel and if you like my welcome video, please hit like and subscribe. It will be much appreciated.
Next video coming on Monday, so you will not have to wait long to see some actual content there.