I
literature

It WAS me...

Anotheroutsider's avatar
By Anotheroutsider   |   Watch
5 15 441 (1 Today)
Published: May 9, 2007
Te uiţi la mine cu ochii ăia mari... şi te întrebi ce o fi cu sângele de pe mâinile mele...

Par nevinovat, şi stau stingher, şi ridic nedumerit, năuc, din umeri.

Da... l-am ucis... nu îl mai căutati. L-am ucis...

Şi mă întrebi cum de s-a întâmplat...

Am fost nevoit!!! M-a obligat chipul lui de mine, chipul lui de eu... l-am urât atât de tare, şi l-am ucis...

Am plâns lacrimi amare, pentru ca nu mi-a fost uşor. L-am ameninţat de nenumarate ori !!! I-am spus să ma lase în pace... i-am spus, i-am spus... am plâns atunci, şi, uite, plâng şi acum...

Nu te uita la mine ca la un animal !!! Sunt un monstru... ştiu... dar.. dar e vina lui... a fost vina lui, va fi, mereu, vina lui. L-am izgonit de atâtea ori... l-am bătut... şi se întorcea mereu...

Şi zilele trecute... l-am pândit la un colţ de oglindă... l-am lovit cu toată puterea... şi geamul s-a făcut ţăndări... iar el mă privea dintre cioburi şi râdea... atunci am luat un ciob... şi...

Nu fugi de mine, pentru noi am făcut asta ! Nu plânge şi tu, lacrimile mele au curs destul de mult, şi destul de fierbinte ! Nu mă ignora... sunt mort deja...

I-am tăiat gâtul dintr-o singură mişcare... m-a privit terifiat, şi-a dus mâinile la gât, încercând să opreasca şuvoiul... avea ochii mari, cum îi ai tu acum...
A încercat să spună ceva, dar tot ce a putut face a fost să horcăie. Sângele a inceput să îi curgă bolborosind printre buze... şi a căzut în genunchi... întrebându-ma din priviri de ce am facut asta, curios, sincer... implorând...

Nu mai plânge, iubito... pentru noi am făcut asta... Nu, nu ţineai la el... nu aveai cum să ţii la el...

Pentru tine am făcut-o, futu-i morţii ei de treaba !!! E tot ce puteam face ca sa te recâştig !!! Nu mă lăsa... nu-mi spune că a fost în van...

Iubito... uite-te la mine, uite-te în ochii mei... Mâinile astea nu vor mai fi NICIODATĂ albe !!! Sângele ăsta nu va înceta să curgă, să se prelingă de pe degete !!! Unghiile nu se vor mai curăţa în veci !!! Şi totul a fost pentru tine... pentru noi... îţi mai aminteşti? Noi...

Mă priveşti ca şi cum m-ai vedea întâia oară... Eu eram !!! EU ERAM !!!! EU ! EU ! EU !
Înţelege !!!

Nu mă lăsa... nu mă lăsa...

Şi a plecat. Nu am mai văzut-o niciodată.

Deci... nu mă mai căutati. "Eu" a murit. L-am ucis cu un ciob de oglindă.

De asta îmi ascund mâinile în mâneci... de asta mă spăl atât de des pe mâini... dar sângele de "eu" nu se curăţă... niciodată...

Iubito... a fost vina lui...


[pic ... pic ... pic ... pic]
Recommended Literature
T
To Build A Human
I wonder if I died last night. I once wondered if I had died the night before.  And that's not even the strangest thought I had that fateful day.  But perhaps I should start from the beginning… I had been thinking about the troubling philosophical issue regarding the hypothetical teleportation device that uses quantum entanglement to instantaneously transfer data, then uses that data to exactly replicate the individual in the new place and simultaneously destroy the original.  The new copy is like a twin with all the same memories of the original, right up to the event of the teleportation, creating a perfect illusion of transportation
d
dear you,
dear you, hello love. i haven't talked to you for a while now, how have you been holding up without me? i know that life will always throw it's rusting metal obstacles at you, but don't give up hope, dear heart. those bleeding scars will fade eventually, and you won't even notice them after a while. just remember to bandage them tight; they tend to re-open often. love, me. - dear you, remember your bottle? throw it away love. you probably need it more than anyone else I know, but it does you no good in keeping it. but you insist on clutching onto this life line, so take my advice: just empty it out, and start afresh. they were right yo
m
maybe in the morning,
- she remembers watching the sunset from her father shoulders and thinking that it was as if the sun was dying. as if its long life was slowly falling away behind the skyline and that it sprayed colors across the ever-darkening sky to remind people that death is a beautiful thing. that in the morning, a new sun would rise and everything will be bright. when she dies, she wants to go out like a sunrise. she wants people to watch in awe as she changes everything just one last time and makes death beautiful. - she's older now, and she imagines that death is like being awake at night; the comforting silence and the dark that accompanies it. f
© 2007 - 2019 Anotheroutsider
Republished.
Pe romana, de data asta.
Recommended Literature
T
To Build A Human
I wonder if I died last night. I once wondered if I had died the night before.  And that's not even the strangest thought I had that fateful day.  But perhaps I should start from the beginning… I had been thinking about the troubling philosophical issue regarding the hypothetical teleportation device that uses quantum entanglement to instantaneously transfer data, then uses that data to exactly replicate the individual in the new place and simultaneously destroy the original.  The new copy is like a twin with all the same memories of the original, right up to the event of the teleportation, creating a perfect illusion of transportation
d
dear you,
dear you, hello love. i haven't talked to you for a while now, how have you been holding up without me? i know that life will always throw it's rusting metal obstacles at you, but don't give up hope, dear heart. those bleeding scars will fade eventually, and you won't even notice them after a while. just remember to bandage them tight; they tend to re-open often. love, me. - dear you, remember your bottle? throw it away love. you probably need it more than anyone else I know, but it does you no good in keeping it. but you insist on clutching onto this life line, so take my advice: just empty it out, and start afresh. they were right yo
m
maybe in the morning,
- she remembers watching the sunset from her father shoulders and thinking that it was as if the sun was dying. as if its long life was slowly falling away behind the skyline and that it sprayed colors across the ever-darkening sky to remind people that death is a beautiful thing. that in the morning, a new sun would rise and everything will be bright. when she dies, she wants to go out like a sunrise. she wants people to watch in awe as she changes everything just one last time and makes death beautiful. - she's older now, and she imagines that death is like being awake at night; the comforting silence and the dark that accompanies it. f
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Sign In
Comments (13)
SmokeStories's avatar
SmokeStories|Hobbyist General Artist
felul brutal in care descrii scena ii da savoare si consistenta textului. pot cu usurinta sa empatizez cu tine, stii asta...si eu am incercat sa'mi omor "eul"...si...si n'a iesit...si...si chestia asta inca ma bantuie..
Reply  ·  
Anotheroutsider's avatar
Anotheroutsider|Hobbyist General Artist
poate la tine nu e nevoie... :)
eu am fost drastic. si m-am luat pe nepregatite.
Reply  ·  
SmokeStories's avatar
SmokeStories|Hobbyist General Artist
stii...eu mi l'am pierdut oricum...that night, something died inside of me...and something new was born...deci...I wouldn't know...I forgot who I am supposed to be...maybe nu trebuie sa analizez atat lucrurile si trebuie doar sa fiu...atat.
Reply  ·  
Anotheroutsider's avatar
Anotheroutsider|Hobbyist General Artist
ar fi o chestie :)
Reply  ·  
WildRainOfIceAndFire's avatar
WildRainOfIceAndFire|Professional Photographer
deci da.... imi place foarte mult.
Este superb descris momentul de intensitate, de disperare, de pierdere de sine, de iubire.
Tragic si desigur frumos... :heart:
Reply  ·  
Anotheroutsider's avatar
Anotheroutsider|Hobbyist General Artist
E bazat pe fapte reale ... :backstab:
Reply  ·  
WildRainOfIceAndFire's avatar
WildRainOfIceAndFire|Professional Photographer
chiar vroiam sa zic asta... dar mi-era ca ziceai ca-s ciudata...
Reply  ·  
Anotheroutsider's avatar
Anotheroutsider|Hobbyist General Artist
chiar atat de mult ma desconsideri? :lmao:
Reply  ·  
sadik18's avatar
frumos. imi place obsesivitatea cu care se pomenesc mainile "murdare". imi aminteste de mcbeth. In schimb nu mi prea place chestia cu 3 semne de exclamare. E nenatural cel putin din punctul meu de vedere. Poate pentru ca e scrisa pe calculator si ca sa faci exac 3 trebuie sa le faci individual ceea ce cred eu ca denota calm si rabdare. Nu stiu, s-ar putea sa fiu eu nebuna cu chestia asta.


:aww:
Reply  ·  
Anotheroutsider's avatar
Anotheroutsider|Hobbyist General Artist
multumex frumos :D
chestia cu calmul si rabdarea nu e ceva nou pentru mine, cred ^^;
si nu, nu esti nebuna. sau daca esti, suntem toti, nebuni, oricum :thumbsup:
Reply  ·  
noidoipunctcom's avatar
:omg:
daca Intuitia mea ar fi citit textul asta inainte, note-ul acela ar fi avut un continut mult mai documentat:confused:...
Reply  ·  
Anotheroutsider's avatar
Anotheroutsider|Hobbyist General Artist
inca nu e tarziu sa aduci completari ;)
Reply  ·  
Anotheroutsider's avatar
Anotheroutsider|Hobbyist General Artist
:depressed:
Reply  ·  
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Sign In
©2019 DeviantArt
All Rights reserved