3 min read
AnnaPaar's avatar
By AnnaPaar
4 Favourites
just wrote this
still struggling with art artists blah
hope get through soon :lol:
-- rereading feels bit (erh... quite...) uncool
uncool me :flame: :stupidme:
... please bear with me :icongiveflowerplz:


when i'm a child
i make images
:bulletred: because i feel like doing it
i enjoy it
i try try
i play

when i want to be comfortable
and with all those things
money can buy
:bulletred: i sell my skill
to make images
as others would want make them
or need make them
in order to earn profit
or to represent themselves
i lend them my hands and
my brain


when i burn for acknowledgement
by those deemed to be,
named to be
in the temple of arts,
of glass bead game
:bulletblue: i find new
a kind of new the guardians will nod about
will say: "it's a new!" :nod:
and some of them will blah
lots about how and why... :blahblah:
... while we all make some money
or even more than
most skilled hands ever dream of
... the road to fame (/a brand name) is dire


when i'm tired
because i worked so much for money
(any job!)
or i ran so much for fame
(any road!)
and got so thirsty in soul
:bulletyellow: i will make images
with skilled hands (if they still speak, do they?)
or clumsy ones
with any hands and limbs i have
with my heart
need say need say
need find myself
look down deep well
where's my water?


when i'm such a proud one
crave for holy for wholeness
for transformation
take me ages!
take me all NOWs!
... :bulletyellow: i make images
as moment tells
as heart tells
they may show where i stand
while my eyes are bit dim
to see it... :stupidme:
swim flow swim flow

in the end i will
look into your eyes and...
see myself


... still hold the brush
the mouse
tip tap keyboard...
till i fall off
eternal kindergarten! :boing:

L'ectoplasmique by Senecal
© 2012 - 2021 AnnaPaar
anonymous's avatar
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Senecal's avatar
It has been awhile but thanks!
feldrand's avatar

hmmm, irgendwie cool, irgendwie uncool, auf jeden fall nice to read und wunderbar die letzte zeile... ich habe eine sehr kreative 10 jährige tochter, die mich immer wieder daran erinnert:

"eternal kindergarten"


AnnaPaar's avatar
danke sehr! :icontoyhorseplz:
ich freu mich über deine worte!
ich mag kinder sehr
weil sie eben in ihrer weise kreativ sind
ich mein ich bin gern mit ihnen zusammen
spielen... !
... und wünsch dir, dass deine tochter
freude :flame: hat, weitermacht, blüht, glänzt, und manches für uns entdeckt :iconsparklyplz:

danke auch für lustige neue icons! :bounce:
das mit dem trampolin kann ich sehr gut brauchen
weisst du ja, oder? :-)

feldrand's avatar

yeppings, alles ist gut solange du wild bist (meine tochter liebt "die wilden kerle" und das ist ja ihr wahlspruch)

hier mal nen beispiel für rebeccas gabe, da war sie noch klein...… 

ah ja, und dann das "T" aus einem zigarettenfilter und einem lineal, da hatte sie gerade die ersten buchstaben kennengelernt - jetzt ist sie 10 und singt schon "morning has broken" in englisch nach textblatt von ihrer lern cd... :faint:…


Sugaree-33's avatar
:hug:I just love you Anna!
AnnaPaar's avatar
dear Audra :hug:
you so kind so dancing heart my dear
and me happy when read :dance:

and bit cloudy days
doubts and search
waited till clouds pass bit
sunrays twinkle
cross immeasurable
long long ways
through unknown unknown
find us



Larainjp's avatar
Words that really mean a lot to me at this moment, thank you for writing words that articulate what I wish to but somehow feel I can't. I'm struck dumb by a mind turned in on itself and I'm looking for comfort here on Deviant Art. Somehow with your words I have found a little :hug:
AnnaPaar's avatar
Larain, you know
yesterday i wanted reply to your journal...
took it up several times
then not sure what say
then was considering send you a note
also didn't do that
hope you feel better my dear... :iconoak-elfglitterplz:

your artistic vein is so strong
and always look at your images
when they drop mailbox
look how you play, where you travel :iconcuterainbowplz:
what you see now
raining here
bright sky though
wish you sunshine speaking colors! :sun:
Larainjp's avatar
Thank you Anna, it means a lot :huggle:
AnnaPaar's avatar
look just got this wild one :-)


big small plant guest for you
wish you wonderful weekend! :sun:
Larainjp's avatar
Thank you Anna :hug: You have a wonderful weekend too :D
VoiderMann's avatar
:) Thanks for the experience? ^ R u alright Anna??
AnnaPaar's avatar
^ R u alright Anna??

feenk (feel + think :-) ) yes...
why do you ask? please tell bit... :iconcuriouslyplz:

and why question-mark after "experience" :?

puzzles me... :-)
thank you for visiting and commenting
in a puzzling way! :iconeeveethankyouplz:
VoiderMann's avatar
I'm glad u r alright. :) The message wasn't meant to be cryptic, "experience" >> the experience of reading what u wrote and thinking about it.
If i had said "How r u?" instead of "R u alright?" (a greeting habit of mine) it wouldn't seem so strange. I had gotten married recently and was away from DA for a while. I was merely greeting. :D Perhaps u don't remember me lol :D
AnnaPaar's avatar
of course i remember you! :sun:

and fine hear you married
wish you all joys all love all home! :iconflowerhdplz:

and yes now understand :nod:
thank you for explaining :iconeeveethankyouplz:

all i wrote here is life phases too...
seems lived each of these bit
and they don't let me cold... move through me
"art" is an ever open question, invitation, turmoil, trying...

lala :iconsparklyplz:
oscillatesalot's avatar
I tried to be an artist. I got tired. Now I just watch.
AnnaPaar's avatar
ja ja :-)
wait and see dear :sun:! what does... :iconcuterainbowplz:
thank you for comment, visit...
always :iconeeveethankyouplz:

( and ey... you didn't try ... simply are artist... yes :nod: :flame: )
( need :flame: add: watching may be more important, me still weak at it :stupidme: )
Hermetic-Wings's avatar
I sure your wish book is open tonight... I wish you strength to stand in the stage to chase after the reality of that daily life...The fantastic side of your gallery is so easy to follow for me..And joyful of course!
Take good care my dear friend...And regards to all... To all kind of childish style of your talk...To all kind of objects you create...Please keep on submitting such beauties :D
AnnaPaar's avatar
dear Ayhan today wanted find how you are ...
and happy you tell what you feel, good or bad, bad or good ...
comforts me ...
is new night :iconswingonastarplz:

thank you for your very kind words
for your understanding
... i know we live same land of creativity
and we both wandered small streets, small spaces (anna), wide landscape, mountains, sky and stone walls sunk into sand (Ayhan)
same land... love of color... love breath... do all this out of passion :flame: ... carries us further :iconcloudsplz::sun:
then puts us down bit
then carries us further
and what i see in your images stays with me :hug:

Hermetic-Wings's avatar
What I sent with my images are telling my mood dear Anna. Like what you create is telling your mood...

I am trying not to complain much. But sometimes it rushes above me like a spring torrent, so I shout!.. I am regularly trying to submit photographs telling what I feel. Only I am taking of my mask from my face while I am submitting my photographs. There is no problem to submit them to DA. that does not mean that all of the deviants are going to meet my complaint. Most of the people just saying "Oh wonderful" to my photographs even if they saw a hand waving and crying for help on them.
So you said "...tell what you feel, good or bad, bad or good ...
comforts me ..." Only a few people like you is interesting what I am trying to tell.
Even if we have small spaces or wide landscapes, no difference;
"... carries us further
then puts us down bit
then carries us further"...
And what we try to show in our images stays with us to create a pocket-full of memory form each others
Have a nice week :D
Keep on to chase after the Blue Bird :D
AnnaPaar's avatar
oh yes dear Ayhan
is chase after the Blue Bird
you say it so beautifully
and anna :nod: :nod: :nod:
... didn't see it as this for long years maybe
and this image is still so valid

or search for blue flower...
do you know that one?

i send you a modest one
as place holder for now :iconmorninggloryplz:

... hmm...
and maybe there are many blue flowers
many kinds maybe
... oh well, sill they all have this color
receding horizon
i stand and dream it
then walk some steps
and horizon is always same far away
well this walking after dreamy blue distance
is anna life... in some ways...
and you do that really... walk out really
and now remember how you get dizzy with heights
and still walk on
try to find right place
it's another aspect of it... yes :iconbluemoonplz:

or try catch moon
and try and try embrace it
and at end of all trying for now
find this white pebble in our pocket
... is moon
or maybe piece of it
so by trying reach far dream
we reach dear grain of sand
look at it so surprised
maybe smile
is all that's left of travel
... and new travel begins...

when i look at your images
i see Ayhan
i would say is Ayhan soul behind any of your images...

and and of course
all kinds of knowledge, technical know-how,
artistic taste,
travel adventure, emotion oh yes, longing too...
do you know there is hope in your images too?
often... mixed with melancholy, thoughtfulness, sometimes despair
sometimes with dark
and there is lots of world :earth: :nod: :flame:
Hermetic-Wings's avatar
Another great message with very dense words in it... That's why it took a long tişme to answer.
...Sometimes I can not decide if I have tro answre or not. İf I answre ı will direct your beautiful composition to another direction. İf I only say "I am agree" than it will not be clear enough what I extract from your words.
I wish we can talk... So When ı can repeat the words you said than you can manage your feelings from the frequency of my voice.
I am confirmiming your words about the distance of the horizon and keep on to walk to reach it. And want to add yes there are very many kind of blue flowers. there were only a kind of "Blue Bird". Because it is so impossible even to see it so everybdoy is discribing it as their way. some adds long tails, some adds cristal plummage...Some said they catch it some time lated they confess that it was not the "Blue Bird" but they suppose it was...They are wrong; they maybe did catch the "Blue Bird" but becasue they don't deserve it the bird recurrect to an ordinary one...
:iconautumncolorplz: :iconautumncolorplz: :iconautumncolorplz:
After fast food feeding has created then socaity eclared some planning recipies of happines. Some reday formula's of it. If you had a good car, it means that you catch a kind of blue flower. If you have a summer house with a nice car ta the same time then you capture another kind of blue flower... And nobody feels staisfied because the bule flowre does not smells and does not sing... But the Reel birds can sing, as the very special wild flowers. They smell...
:iconbluemoonplz: :iconbluemoonplz: :iconbluemoonplz:
I had the Blue bird in my hands.. Not once in a life time but some very special moments...Then it has gone.. Fly away! I did worried much when it ghappnes. And I saw that it returns sometimes for a very short time. Or sometimes it appears for a dreamy short time.that's why you can see sadness, alone, desparetion even complainings but also hope...Hope is floating.. And keeps me alive while I was walking along the cliffs even I am fearing and trying to control my dizziness...
So happy if I can transfer it between all kind of chaos...becasue I am sharing my photographs to impress myself as you know.
anonymous's avatar
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