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REQUEST BOX (Not Mine)

Sun Oct 28, 2018, 12:24 PM


Skin by illiyah

For Goretober 2018 ~

Fri Sep 21, 2018, 7:07 AM




If you don't know yet what you want to do for Goretober, here the one I choose!
Good luck to those who are going to do a Goretober, Inktober...etc!

Bunny Emoji-42 (Awww) [V2] Bunny Emoji-28 (Waving) [V2]  Bunny Emoji-42 (Awww) [V2] 
Goretober 2018 fuck youhey guys so ive concluded that every single goretober list sucks
so me and gildedgarden made one for us and for you
enjoy little demons 
1. Nosebleed
2. Bruises
3. Lacerations
4. Teeth
5. Stitches
6. Candy gore
7. Knives
8. Taxidermy 
9. Skewered
10. Eyes
11. Amputation/Missing limbs
12. Fire
13. Bites
14. Horns/Spikes 
15. Plant growth
16. Emaciation/Starvation 
17. Murder
18. Decapitation
19. Organs
20. Trypophobia 
21. Insect
22. Scars
23. Suffocation/Drowning 
24. Jack-o-lantern 
25. Infestation 
26. Squish
27. Melt
28. Emetophobia
29. Skeleton
30. Realism/Realistic gore 
31. HARD VORE (cannibalism) 
 
 


also, I will probably post a YCH, post a batch of adoptable or ------open commission for Halloween! 
Tell me which one you would like to have in comment ! 
Bunny Emoji-89 (Cheer) [V5]   Bunny Emoji-89 (Cheer) [V5]   Bunny Emoji-89 (Cheer) [V5] 



/I'm also finishing as fast as I can the rewards + YCH/

.:Bunny love love:. 

_____________________Thank for understanding!
Bunny Emoji-56 (Nomnomnom) [V3] 
____________________________________________________________________








You can now call them

Mouth Monster
(I still like that name)

or 

SG
(aka SugaryGory)

I didn't want to use something like CreepyCute/ so I used something more original (it's quite fun to say)
____________________________________________________
edit:
Thank those who participated when I asked a name for the specie !

-
CaitlynFox
Snip 20180520184350 by AnjuDere
-
Bleeding--Thorn
Snip 20180520184352 by AnjuDere

-
carzymark124
Snip 20180520184351 by AnjuDere

-
NOTRandal0
Snip 20180520184353 by AnjuDere

_____

you all win a ticket!
(sadly, I didn't choose any of your names)

www.random.org/
(the ticket will be random, pray for luck !)

No ticket 4 will be given; only 1-2-3.


You will be able to make your own once I will post the reference traits!
don't make your own before showing me before please <3
_____________________________

I really hope you will like it !
don't forget those are for fun!

___________________

Ticket 1: _____
Only common traits allowed.

Ticket 2: ______

Only common & un-common traits allowed.

Ticket 3: ______
Only common, un-common & rare traits allowed.

Ticket 4: _____
All traits allowed.


______________________________________
edit:


those who won an adopt :
NOTRandal0
- XxCeceVerse27xX


I hope you will understand that you will have to add the fact that I will make a closed specie of them so credit is needed Heart 
I can't allow you to resell them either trade them without asking me first ! Love 

Finally, some of them have rare or legendary traits,
it's okay, you are lucky! Heart 

wait for the reference sheet 
~  
_________________________
Heyyy ~

I just wanted to announce that I will make a closed specie inspired by those gaias that I made ;

{Gaia Adopt} #16 CLOSE by AnjuDere {Gaia Adopt} #7 CLOSE by AnjuDere
(Guro will be my mascot for this specie !)

I totally fall in love with them! Both creepy & cute Heart 
I just got super inspired!

I will make a full reference once I will finish my other things~ 

I will add 3 open slots for those who want to create one! 

after that, I will make adoptables that you will be able to buy Love 

I hope you will like it !

Heart 

I will start selling adoptable or commission with money too.
the reason is;

My grandparents moved here, in Brittany last year.
 401b96ca64aa902c5183d959b69d5a84 by AnjuDere
They didn't have a lot of money and decided to rent a house that my grandmother's nephew buy;
They can live there until her nephew's retirement.
Sadly, my grandmother's nephew's wife is a really annoying person and they had to live together when she comes with her husband on the holidays.
(not in the same house but in front of)

My grandparents were really annoyed at first, but slowly the situation becomes quite difficult and they thought about move to another house if they can find one.
My grandfather waits for some money from his deceased mother,
but it's been almost 1 years now.
(it's a long story but the inheritance is split and there is more for his sister than for him)

So basically, 
I want to gain even a little bit of money to help them.
If they move again, they will not have a lot of money left...but they can't stay where they are.
They are currently looking for a little house.



thank for reading 
Heart 

All my Gaias ~

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 28, 2018, 7:24 AM
It will be easier for you to check !

OPEN
{Gaia Adopt} #2 CLOSE by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #6 [Close] by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #12 [Close] by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #11 [1/3] by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #14 DOLLS [Close] by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #17 [2/4] by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #19 [CLOSE] by AnjuDere

{Gaia Adopt} #20 [Close] by AnjuDere

{Gaia Adopt} #21 [Close] by AnjuDere

{Gaia Adopt} #22 [2/6] by AnjuDere




_______________________________________


CLOSE
{Gaia Adopt} #1 CLOSE by AnjuDere

{Gaia Adopt} #3 CLOSE by AnjuDere

{Gaia Adopt} #4 [CLOSE] by AnjuDere

{Gaia Adopt} #5 CLOSE by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #7 CLOSE by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #8 CLOSE by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #9 CLOSE by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #13 CLOSE by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #16 CLOSE by AnjuDere
{Gaia Adopt} #18 [CLOSE] by AnjuDere























Thank you all for the Birthday wishes! 
birthday cake 

Look at those amazing gifts
(please check the artists and give them a little fav and watch <3)


HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANJU SEMPAI by CewatheOtaku Daily sketch #37 | Wendy by Aiiga Happy birthday!!! by UminoAoi


Happy DeviantART Birthday Happy DeviantART Birthday Happy DeviantART Birthday 

Have a nice day everyone 

[ YURI ON ICE ] Happy Birthday Viktor ! 


Here the result of my contest...
omg it was so difficult cause everyone does their best and make an amazing draw! I'm sorry for those who didn't win.

thank again for joining, I enjoyed to see all your beautiful drawing!
don't forget to check the gallery of the winners! 
They deserve more watchers and favs!

Tini Pills Tini Pills Tini Pills Tini Pills 
1st winner
{contest entry} Wendy by SemicircleZelkova

is that really for me ?!
oh my god!
This draw is my favorite one-
I already love the artstyle of SemicircleZelkova , so when she did a draw of my OC...I was like
 jerry mouse scream intensifies icon 
Seriously, the pose, the soft color, the little plushies ...everything is just so awesome!
You totally deserve to win the first prize !!
___________
(prize)

rose A fullbody (colored) 

{Commission} Aisu Enpuresu by AnjuDere [Raffle 1#] Melo by AnjuDere
+
rose an adopt that you will be able to get for free (or special designed)
[Adoptable] Demon #2 [CLOSE] by AnjuDere(example)  [Adoptable] Demon #3 SPECIAL [Close] by AnjuDere

OR 

another draw such as an halfbody or headshot!

Tini Pills Tini Pills Tini Pills Tini Pills 

2nd winner
Crystal x Teresa [+Video] by Aiiga

Oh god! I love this one so much!
I enjoyed the first speedpaint of my OCs !! It was such a surprise and I couldn't stop smiling-
I love how you draw the background! I'm so bad at drawing background//
I also, LOVE the pose (omg) such a romantic drawing !!
You did an amazing job here! You deserve to win a prize!
_____________________
(prize)

rose an halfbody (colored)

{Commission} February. by AnjuDere{Commission} Sweet Dream by AnjuDere

Tini Pills Tini Pills Tini Pills Tini Pills 

  3rd winner 
Wendy [contest Entry] by LilJay14
The third winner was sooo difficult to choose!
But here's my favorite one!

LilJay14 , you did a great job with this draw, I really love how Wendy looks like ~
I love the pose, how you shaded the clothes and the mask!
You did a great job ! You deserve to win a prize !
__________________
(prize)

rose A headshot (colored)

{Request} Eternity in the Darkness by AnjuDere |Contest| Insanity by AnjuDere
____________________________________________________________________

Amazing artworks that, sadly, didn't win
go check them; they are all awesome and deserve some new watchers <3


(Contest Entry) Wendy by Bleeding--Thorn [Contest] Teresa by MagicalRat

Mature Content

You are next(contest entry) by CaitlynFox
Sumire[ For Contest] by mikamizu434


Yes...I did it...

okay, I explain ;
Since I have a lot of things to do:
-adopts
-raffle (future one)
-reference sheets...

I decided to host a contest to let me some free time and still be active (draw other things too)
I also really wanted to see people drawing my OCs since I don't have a lot of fanart *blush*


But, since I don't know how many people will join (want to join) this contest will only be a little contest-
now we can start talking about interesting things!
 
___________________________________________________________

rose  TOPIC rose 

You can choose between drawing ;

rose  Teresa and /or/ with Crystal rose 
[Reference Sheet] Teresa and Crystal by AnjuDere

or 

rose  Sumire rose 

[Reference Sheet] Sumire by AnjuDere

or 

rose  Wendy rose 
[Reference Sheet] Wendy by AnjuDere

(You can also draw Wendy and Sumire together)

______________________________________________________________________________________________


 rose  RULES  rose  

rose You can make as many entries as you want!
rose It can include blood/gore (ONLY for Sumire or Wendy)
rose Don't use base, make your own original draw!
rose Don't steal, copy, retrace someone else draws.
rose Only colored draw are accepted. (no wip / unfinished / sketch / lineart)

rose Comment if you want to join ~ 
________________________________

rose  DEADLINES rose 

rose START: 06/08/2018 (00:00)
rose END: 20/08/2018 (00:00)

I can change the date if you need more time!
_______________________________

rose  The prizes rose 
(because it's what is important >///>)

_________________________
1st PRIZE

rose A fullbody (colored) 

{Commission} Aisu Enpuresu by AnjuDere [Raffle 1#] Melo by AnjuDere
+
rose an adopt that you will be able to get for free (or special designed)
[Adoptable] Demon #2 [CLOSE] by AnjuDere(example)  [Adoptable] Demon #3 SPECIAL [Close] by AnjuDere

OR 

another draw such as an halfbody or headshot!
____________________________________

2nd Prize

rose an halfbody (colored)

{Commission} February. by AnjuDere{Commission} Sweet Dream by AnjuDere

______________________________

rose  3rd Prize rose 

rose A headshot (colored)

{Request} Eternity in the Darkness by AnjuDere |Contest| Insanity by AnjuDere

_____________________________________________________________________


rose  Good Luck  rose

Untitled by AnjuDere






Adoptable Rules

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 29, 2018, 3:11 AM
_____________________________
__________________________________________

WHAT YOU WILL RECEIVE

----------------------------

 Full body version (.PNG file/transparent background/watermarkless) 


DO:

 Once you buy it you are free to change its clothes, hairstyle, colors (but, please keep design much closer to the original)
You can upload the adoptable on your DA gallery with credit.
If you draw or use the adopt for a project, please credit me (I would love to see)
 You can gift/trade/resell. Notify me so I can see who has the right of the character.
Please, use it and take care of your adoptable.
 
DON’T:


 Do not claim as your original design.
  Do not resell for more than you paid for. 
 Do not trace or modify the art for commercial purposes.
You pay for the character design concept rights, but art belongs to me.
Ask me for a refund.
No commercial use, only personal.
_____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________



Bunny Emoji-73 (Wondering) [V4] RulesBunny Emoji-73 (Wondering) [V4] 
Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4] To claim your ticket just fav this journal and add a comment like "I join"
Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4] You must be our watcher. Don't watch me then unwatch me.
Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4] New watchers are always welcomed.
Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4] Tag 2 deviants. (+1 ticket)
Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4] Choose 1 picture on my gallery in your favorites. (+1 ticket)
Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4] You have until 24h from journal post time to enter this raffle.
Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4]I will use this  www.mathgoodies.com/calculator… to choose the winner.
                                                      if the winner doesn't reply within 24 hours I'll choose another winner

Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4] No deadline.
Bunny Emoji-68 (Bouncy) [V4]  will be close if there is less than 2 participants. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
.:Bunny chuu:. There will be 1 winner.:Bunny chuu:.  
________________
the winner will choose between;

-a half body
or
-a full body

Bunny Emoji-89 (Cheer) [V5] 
for 1 character or Oc.

_________________________________
I will not draw fetishes/NSFW/Nude/Kiss
________________

Good luck
  Happy Bunny Wave - Beemote Happy Bunny Wave - Beemote 
#raffle 
________________________
winner

*looking at my gallery and deleting some old drawings"

when suddenly ...
KickThePJ 8 KickThePJ 8 KickThePJ 8 KickThePJ 8 
...

*some wild /really/ old drawings appeared* 

Betty! by AnjuDere  Zelda: Breath of the Wild by AnjuDere Miku by AnjuDere Wedding by AnjuDere Starry Sky! by AnjuDere Paris in Love! by AnjuDere Alyss by AnjuDere Neko! by AnjuDere
Cute Christmas! by AnjuDere
Chocola  Vanilla 0.1 by AnjuDere

 Atomic Cock 

oh my god.....it's quite....well........really bad...


NOOOO sobbing - crying 

.
.
.



Rose icon.8 

we all start somewhere
don't give up no matter how bad you see your art.
You will improve and be able to laugh (a lot) about your oldest drawings!
I wanted to delete all these but...I think I will keep them here (intensified cry)rainbow cry 
even if I dislike them so much but somehow...it made me see how much I progressed...and that made me smile a lot uwu"

I just wanted to say those words to those who actually are afraid that they won't improve...

guys, I was just like you!

So, don't give up and practice, try different art styles...etc



-Have a lovely day <3


COMMISSION [Close]

Journal Entry: Fri Jul 13, 2018, 1:48 AM


Anjudere's

Commission rules


  Divider rainbow-comet right  La jumping in Points  Divider rainbow-comet left 
Blinking Point Thanks Starry Point ThanksColorful Point Thanks  
          :ShutUpandTakemyMoney: Sign Emoji-05 (Ok or money) :allmymoney: 
__________________________
commission's order:
[4 slots]

 little pink Rose 2 
MrsPlay tick Paid
little pink Rose 2 
DistortedWhispersxvaporwave pay status - NOT PAID [F2U]
little pink Rose 2 close
little pink Rose 2 close
little pink Rose 2 close
little pink Rose 2 close
little pink Rose 2 close
little pink Rose 2 close

x draw not done
tick draw done
Paid paid
Half Paid half paid
vaporwave pay status - NOT PAID [F2U] not paid yet
___ ______________________________________ ____
For every commission;
Elegant Divider 2 - top  
the sketch will be sent (obligatory)
Pixel Rose Divider 2 - White 
the final draw will be sent to the owner before being submitted.

If really needed, I will re-draw the commission...

however, I ask for  
+
 (20Pastel Points(Fav to use)  for bust / 40 Pastel Points(Fav to use) for half body / 60 Pastel Points(Fav to use) for full body) 
(0.25€  for a bust / 0.50 € for half body  / 0.75 € for full body)

added to the original price.

 Pixel Rose Divider 2 - White 

I hope you will understand, it's still a lot of work and I will do my best in each commission...

Elegant Divider 2 - bottom 

_______________

Pixel Rose Bullet - White No deadline /!\
Pixel Rose Bullet - White  Paid half of the price before and the half after
(I don't accept anything except points/money)

send the final price at the end ONLY for commission with money !

Pixel Sparkle Divider 2 

Pixel Rose Bullet - White Finally, for every commission, a png. version can be sent if wanted! 
(if you don't want background then just add -> png. version)
 
Pixel Rose Bullet - White no background = no points/money

 Pixel Rose Bullet - White  Respect the rules overhead.

_____________________________

/BUST/ 

136Pastel Points(Fav to use)  or  1.70 $

{Request} Eternity in the Darkness by AnjuDere wrong target. by AnjuDere
{Happy Birthday} by AnjuDere

0.25 $ / 20 Pastel Points(Fav to use) for another character added
|Fanart| Let' sssssssssss Play by AnjuDere
detailed background: 30  Pastel Points(Fav to use) / 0.38 $ 

________________________

/Half Body/

280 Pastel Points(Fav to use)    or    3.50 $  
{Gift} Cute Cat Girl by AnjuDere Aki. Bloody by AnjuDere
Guro-chan. by AnjuDere Happy Birthday Lacie ! +(video) by AnjuDere
Happy Eyesday by AnjuDere



0.50 $ / 40Pastel Points(Fav to use)for another character added
detailed background: 60Pastel Points(Fav to use) / 0.75 $

[Commission] Verde and Azul v.2 by AnjuDere
You mean the world to me. by AnjuDere
___________________________

/Full Body/

430 Pastel Points(Fav to use) or   5.38 $
{Aya} by AnjuDere
2 by AnjuDere
{Commission} Aisu Enpuresu by AnjuDere {YCH2} Akko by AnjuDere
{YCH} Luna by AnjuDere [WIP] Vie by AnjuDere

detailed background: 90Pastel Points(Fav to use)/ 1.13 $ 

{Extra Art} Deep Inside the Ocean by AnjuDere 

0.75 $ / 60 Pastel Points(Fav to use)  for another character added

 

   The Shining Circle The Shining Circle 
The Shining Circle 
______________     ______________

 Shine 

_____ ______
what I draw
______?______ 

Shine Icon Ocs, human, cute animals, fanart...
Shine Icon  I can accept boy only if they are traps
Shine Icon  gore (any kind)
 Shine Icon creepy/cute (any kind)
Shine Icon  violence (any kind)

Akira Souma (Megane Shine) [V1] 

_____ _____
what I don't draw
______?______ 

Shine Icon  explicit NSFW (not good 
enough at it)
Shine IconFurries
Shine Icon explicit Nude (not enough good at it)
Shine Icon some Fetishes (just NO) 
Shine Icon full body : Boys
Shine Icon  KISS (I'm so bad at it) 

________________________________________________

Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! 
Dipper changes [icon commission] 

  Lg Commission Stamp by ChaosKomori
I Know You're Concerned But... by silvvy
Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! Star + Moon Dangles - F2U! 


_____________________________________

Since I broke my digital pencil, I was unable to draw (and continue my others digital works)
then, I worked a lot about this story that I absolutly love ! :bademoticon: 
_____________
So here new things about it :

¤ The story is about a cursed girl that can't touch the one she love (the man couldn't touch her too)
So the story is about a impossible love //
___________________________________________
¤Main characters :
(work in progress)
___________________

/unknow/ (the girl's name)
I thought about Eunah / since it means "silver child" in chinese or korean ~
(yas, I love chinese name)
If you have some names that means "moon" "silver" "white" "flower"
tell me !
________
Cyan (the boy's name)
or somethings that remind the ocean since he have blue hair !
for now, I keep this name since it's funny to say~
___________________________________________________
¤ So, more about the story and characters ?
The main girl character is cursed.. and  considered as a witch or demon by the inhabitant of her village.
She live far from everybody.
If she fall in love, she's destined to have an impossible love because if she touch / or / be touched by / her lover, she will die.
Also, it's possible for them to touch when the moon is totally full.
but, in this world, it's quiet rare.
_______________
Her cursed come from the old story of a woman that fell in love with a man,
they both loved each other but couldn't married because of the man's familly.
They decided to met each full moon, and they passed a long time together like this.
But they young girl would be soon married...
and
One day,
the young man never came back again...
But, the girl..... waited for him, again and again....
"I will love you a hundred years more..."
and she died.
The legend said that she was still waiting for the man she loved at their place.
___________________________________________________
_________

what do you think ?



.:Tiny flower:.
RULES:
1. POST THESE RULES.
2. POST 8 FACTS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER.
3. TAG 8 OTHER PEOPLE ALONG WITH THE CHARACTERS YOU WANT THEM TO WRITE ABOUT 
4. POST THEIR AVATARS AND WRITE THE CHARACTER NAMES NEXT TO THEM.

I was tagged by UminoAoi
(thank darling Flower for you )

.:Tiny flower:.
Llama Emoji-05 (Flower Sparkles) [V1] 

Swann Lerrans [8.Facts]


RULES:
1. POST THESE RULES.
2. POST 8 FACTS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER.
3. TAG 8 OTHER PEOPLE ALONG WITH THE CHARACTERS YOU WANT THEM TO WRITE ABOUT 
4. POST THEIR AVATARS AND WRITE THE CHARACTER NAMES NEXT TO THEM.
Georgous Doll by AnjuDere Swann [Old] outdated by AnjuDere
1.Swann is a trap [He's a boy who dress as a girl] Junior High Armin Talk Icon

2. I was inspired by the amazing rpg horror -> Matryona Last Night
(tho- I will re-write he's story)
3. Swann is depressive and sometimes suicidal.Ranting Penelope Pitstop

4. Swann fear to be touched and think other people are kind of gross. (He don't understand care because he never felt it)

5. He always lived as a girl so he actually don't consider himself neither a boy or a girl.
(tho- he prefer to be called "he" or "they" -> "Swann is good too")

6. I choosed "Swann" as he's name because it remind me of Swan Lack .
Swann remind me the 'Black Swann' Odile.

7. I created him mostly because I wanted, first, a femboy, then I played Matryona Last Night, and I changed the fact he was a femboy, now he's actually cross-dressing, I guess  ? Stern Penelope Pitstop version 2

8. Well, because I don't have anything to say more......I will only said that he's single LazyIcon I wanna use - 7


___________________________________________________________________
I don't really know who to tag so;
Edward Evil Chuckle Icon 
NoEyeBunnyyy  -> Sweet Dream (maybe if you want ~ Frog Emoji-56 (Kawaii Blush) [V3] ) heart balloons 
UminoAoi -> Dimitri (please, this boy is georgous asf) Another Onion Icon heart balloons 
(I know I tagged you back huhu)
@psycho-blood -> Nessie or Lei (I want to know more about them cause they are sooo cool ! ) heart balloons 

______________________________________________
I actually don't really know who I can tag ....
Mio (Laughing) [V2]
I hope I didn't forget anyone Heart 

I submit this in a way to express my most deepest feelings about what happened.
I want to clarify some things to free myself from a heavy sadness that tortured me.
If you read this then I want to tell you that I will say all the deepest truth (in my view)

Up to you to trust me or treat me of liar.
Anyway.
This is my final decision and I don't see any other choice except this one....
I actually suffered because of the hardness of this choice.

Now, I want to express everything, this will be boring, stupid , pitiful ...But I don't care anymore.
I had reach a point of "no comeback"
Since that, two choices...

Forgive and Apologize and things won't change.
Stop and start again.

My choice was the first one...
I loved the person, deeply.
"friend"
yes, even if I don't know their visage ,voice ,....it doesn't mattered cause'
I deeply trusted them and we we're friends.
 we had a lot of differences
but we shared the same passions and interests.

But, we also have sometimes what I qualifie as quarell.
For nothing really big.
But more it happened more it become difficult for me, and they , I assume, to supported.

Found me childish or stupid to react like a child, whatever.
I cried...
I cried a lot.
Even if I don't even meet this person.
I cried for them.
because I feel sad....because I may be hurted them....because I may be said something bad ? because I was afraid that they found me rude ? cold ? unfriendly ?

Think what you want, whatever.

My family noticed my suddenly change of humor,
I passed by phase of sadness and become moody...
Even myself , noticed that I had changed but I couldn't tell the why....
I couldn't ever though it was because of this relation weight.

BUT

I wanted to hope that everything will be better...after all, this was just a phase.....friends sometimes have quarells and it's nothing bad.
I know.
I thought I know.

I wish I was strong enough to said that I am 'sorry'
Strong enough mentally to said that I have false....yes.....you were right !
But I can't.
I can't anymore...

I reach a point where I asked myself
"But ? What have I done this time ?"

I reach a point where I absolutly forget why I started DeviantArt.
I just wanted to be happy posting, commenting, sharing.
I don't wanted any kind of special relation with anyone because I was afraid, I was afraid because I already suffered from a deep sadness because of people
In real life or Not in real life.

I guess this is my fault right ?
I wasn't paying attention to them enough ?
I wasn't here enough when they needed help ?
I wasn't the person that they wanted me to be, someone like them.

That's right.
I will never be like you and I am really sorry if I dissapointed you.
I am sorry if I avoided you.
I am sorry.

A part of me is sorry.


But,
a part of me is deeply angry and sad.
I don't want to hurt people, they don't want to, I assume.

But,
what they did,
was the most hurtfull things someone had done to me for a long time.

I cried, again , yes I know, what a crybaby.
I couldn't understand they suddenly changed.

"What did I do this time ?"

I thought that I could bear it,
I thought that 'sorry' and 'I love you' was enough.

But I was wrong.


You want to know why I 'avoided' you ?
Then, tell me first why you throw all this hate.

"This is not you, you're not my only friend after all"

I know.
and I know that those things you posted where about me.
More or less.
Coincidence ? I don't think so.
This is to easy.

I was absolutly shocked to saw how things turned.
Why I never said anything ? You may ask.
after all, it seems I am the bad person here if I read your comments and beautiful drawing update !

What should I said
"Ho- what's happened dear"
and you will have respond
"Nothing I'm fine^^"

of course.


You seemed totally fine.


I don't know what your life look like, I assume, as you tell me that you had suffer as school, at home it's sometimes difficult....
I understand you.

But, one day, without even asking me anything you assumed that what I wrote was against you ?
Don't said that this isn't true....
You even hidded you comments after that.

If you had a problem with me,
you should have asked me before posting depressing stuff to "calm" you.

Even if almost everyone comforted you.
Even if everyone were by your side supporting you...
...

I don't understand you finally.
This is the only correct answer.

I don't want to start a fight and an argue about this and that.
I won't said anything more than that.
because I know that you are loved and a lot of your friends care a lot about you.
You are lucky.

You will found someone better than me don't worry.

 I am just a dirty selfish person ?
I am just using people around me ?
Think what you want.

I thought that we could have be real good friends.
I was wrong.
Because,
more I tried to remember,
more the only things that will stay in my mind will be those bad things.....
You don't understand ?
I can't even remember the real good moments we had.

This is sad...really sad because I don't even have any anger.
I am just deeply sad and disgusted.


I will not step back anymore.
I had enough trying to apologize because I thought I was the only one guilty.
I am not saying you pushed me to said 'sorry' I just said that I was the first one to said it.

This is why I finally came with an another choice.
 I will not apologize anymore.
Because
there is nothing I should apologize for.

I was so excited as first but slowly this situation become unlivable, suffocating.

I had made my choice.
This is the end.

Two choices again.
I stop DA, which stayed in my head for a long time.
or
I stop everything with you, then you won't be hurt anymore by me right ?.

Judge me and said I am fragile and weak, said I am stupid to react like this.
Said I am the only one who imagine and see everyone as enemy.

I am weak and fragile this is true.
and you weakened me more.
and this is what you never understood.

____
23/04/2018

at 1:20 ~

I had the choice to shut my mouth and keep it to myself
 or
ask someone help.
I couldn't bear it more,
It was already enough.
I cried and ran to my mom.
We talk a lot,
I wanted to ask her what was the better things to do.
As me, she never met you.
But she liked you.

"Why you wanted to apologize for ?"
I couldn't answer.
"What did you do then  ?"
I may have hurted her.....
"Why ?"
I add a comment on some of my drawing.
She probably thought it was for her.
"And that was for her ? "
No, I never said it.


That's right.
You assumed it was for you.

Avoiding ?
My answer is simple.
I didn't avoided you, the proof is that I, as always, faved your draws.
If I really avoided you I wouldn't even watch your profile.
But don't worry, I have red every single status, comments etc...

when you basically said that you will destroy something you made because I faved....
that was really childish.

If you said that I wasn't here where you needed me then tell me,
what should have said ?
something like  "What's happend, who's the "friend" that hurt you ?"
I am maybe stupid but I am not blind enough.

I am happy that you're /true/ friends supported you and stopped you !
because you will have destroyed a huge part of your hard works..
and even if you don't want to hear it from me,
you have a lot of talent, everyone told you.

This is why, I finally come to my 'ending'

I won't run away and close my account.
I will remember the funny, happy, sweet moments we had.
I will hope for you to be happy, again.

I will turn the page.
I will stop to hurt myself.
I will stop to feel anxious and bad.
I will stop to cry,
because I don't have anymore tears to give you.

I am sorry if I hurted you.
But you hurted me too, and that you don't seems to had understood it.

I am deeply sorry that our relationship couldn't be strong enough to support those episodes.

I deeply hope you will do the same as me.
If you have to throw me hate to calm you nerve, anger go ahead.
If you have to not replie, then it's fine.

I don't write this to hurt more.
I write this to help myself first.
because they weren't enough "help myself first" in my mind before.

I don't say that you are the guilty one.
I don't say I regret that we met because we do good things together.
If I could talk to you right now,
I would be sorry for you.
Sorry that you had to suffer, sorry that you feel betrayed, sorry that you I wasn't good enough to stay by your side.

Listen to me,
I never want to hurt anyone.
I will never do things that people did to me.

You were my friend.
You were a great friend.

Now, it's time to stop throwing hurtfull things.

It will be hard,
but I will start again.
I will do my best.
Then do your best you too because, they are people counting on you and loving you.

I am deeply sorry for those who had read until the end.
Thank you
.
____________________________
If you want to know what will happend to our OCs born from our collaboration,
send me a note if you care.
If not, then some will just dissapear or change.
___________________________________________
Concept character by AnjuDere
_____________________________________________

During a dangerous period of war and destruction between humans and dragons.
2000 years of war and humans seems to emerge victory....
But dragons had not abandon yet.

_________
 Information
________

In dragon's world,
females are really rare,
That's why, usually dragons had to kidnapp one female human for the purpose of descendants (dragon life is long but not eternal)
It's still a mystery how human women can gave birth to dragon's childs,
actually they all die...
___________________________________
There is 2 type of dragons,
the pure one (ancestor only dragons)
mixed one (ancestor humans and dragons)

most of the time the mixed blood baby is 75 % dragon and 25 % human-
the most huge percent of blood gave to the baby the attribute (dragon or human form)

example:
- a baby with blood : 30% dragon and 70% human will be a human baby (In that case, that can rarely happend, the baby is killed)
- a baby with blood : 80% dragon and 20% human will be a dragon.

- a baby with blood : 50% dragon and 50% human (is impossible)
_________________________________________________________________________
The pure dragons are different from the mixed one,
first of all they are really bigger and more intelligent than them.
They are actually not a lot and are the Alfa of a group of mixed dragons.

The pure dragons can change in human (actually become really rare) it was for lure them.
________________________________________________________________________________________

|| Ruth Sawyer ||
|| 18 years old ||
|| female ||
______________
||Appearence||
Ruth have a long peach hair.
She have green eyes.
She's a really pretty young woman.
______________
||Personnality||
Ruth is a kind and sweet person but she have a strong character !
She always help around her, she like animals, nature, wind, flowers and peach.
She's the opposite of her two older sisters.
___________________________


______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________

|| Vukan (mean god of fire) ||
|| look like a 21 years old (human form||
|| real age and name unknow||
||male||
||Black Dragon Alfa||
____________________
||Appearence||
Vukan dragon's form is a huge black dragon with orange eyes.
He had injuried wings and multiple injuried all over his body.

Vukan human's form is a pretty handsome man,
he had kind of long black hair that hide his face,
probably orange eyes.
// In human's form he can have wing or not //
_________________________________
||Personnality||
Vukan never thought about anything else than killing human,
he was a really violent dragon but was a lonewolf.
After meeting Ruth, he become softer.
He become really close with Ruth that show him than humans are not all mean.
_____________________________________
__________________



________________________________
||Ruth view||
||story||

Ruth was the last daughter of her mom,
Ruth's mom was killed during a dragons attack.
Since, she work hard to help her dad and her sisters that doesn't do a lot.
Ruth's father wanted his daughter to have a normal girl life but Ruth always works too much, he was proud of her but sad at the same time.
For Ruth, she was happy, she escorted sheeps to the prairy...she slept on the grass...she always loved this "freedom".
She really loved her father story that he usually tell her about dragons.
She never saw any dragons, of course she know that they were dangerous creature and she was in the most dangerous part of her life,
she was the perfect prey....a 18 years old virgin young girl.

She always thought they were kind of fairy tale.....
That was before she saw one with her own eyes,
a huge black dragon.
He was flying strangely, he appeared injuried and after some second behind cloud he fell....
Ruth was shocked but without think about it she run near the place he fell..........she found it...
he was laying on the ground, indeed injuried.
She thought he die but when she come near he opened one eye,
he tried to bite her but she stepped back, he was like an injuried animal....
because she was far from the village, nobody probably noticed this.........
she wanted to go tell them but, inside his eye.....she fell so sad for him....she had pity.

day passed and she come all the day checked the dragon,
day after day he become less agressive against her,
maybe he trusted her ?

and one day,
she doesn't found the dragon.....at last, she found a man.....
Of course she was totally shocked, but, he was the dragon, she knew it.
The reason why he become a human was still unknow because he doesn't talk a lot, he doesn't know how ?

Since, Ruth teach him a lot of thing about human's world.
_____________________________________

|| Extra ||
__________________________________________________________________

4 years later......this famous rainy night,
people can only hear the screams of suffering of a woman,
and the cry of her newborn baby.
__________________________________________________________________________________
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