To get into the purpose of why it's titled what it is, and why I wrote it.
Right now is a really compromising time; up until today the female cat I've had, hasn't ate anything regularly to even at all for about a month and a half. She stopped completely eating entirely just recently, along with drinking anything as well and her weight dropped drastically. My father scheduled a vet appointment, and that wasn't too long ago last week. He took her in and they checked her out. Unfortunately, we financially couldn't pay for her to get any blood work done, which would have helped us solve our problem of what we wanted to know is wrong with her. But we had a general diagnosis that it could have been some things.
- Feline Leukemia Virus
- Feline Immuno Virus
- A stomach virus.
It was talked about that she wasn't going to make it to the end of the year, she wasn't looking up. So my parents had said they planned to have her put down sometime in or before September. Unfortunately I found out through cruel reality last night; that day had been today.
Last night my father had me get her out from underneath my bed, where she has taken refuge for the last couple of days to weeks. Then when I had went out to the kitchen for a drink; that's when I found her in the small cat kennel. So through deductive reasoning. I concluded myself that it was going to be today.
Which it was. I woke up at nine and my dad was crying in the living room. He told me when I went out for a drink she's asleep.
This strikes me really hard, Hollie, our female cat was only three years old and had so much longer to live. But fate pulled the curtain down on her too soon for me to accept it and agree it was time and I was ready. Because I wasn't.
I'm probably going to be in a darker place for the next few weeks both, mentally and emotionally. Animal death is something I have never taken well and that I more than likely never will. So anything I've been doing -- Which is like, nothing.-- will more than likely take some time. I'm not a very religious person, however what positivity can be channeled would be appreciated.
So as of yesterday my week and overall, month has gotten much harder and much worse to deal with alone. At the start of the week I lost my younger, female cat who potentially had a fatal illness that was incurable so she had to be put down.
Yesterday, I watched as my hamster passed away while struggling to survive with me trying to coax her into fighting to live, which came out proving to be an ill attempt. So now everything just feels like it's falling apart around me.
Within literally the span of a single week, I have lost two of the youngest pets I have ever had. Our attempts at keeping them alive coming out with no result. I feel like everything just appears to get worse and that there is no end to this string of ill fortunate happening.
I have plans to in the near future get a hedgehog. Along with, my family plan to also get a new kitten.
However none of this will be soon.