literature

Pretending, Acting, and Lying

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Hey there. I'm James. I'm 21 at the time of writing this essay, and I was 20 at the time of realizing essays aren't just written for school.

Pretending is something we learn to do at whatever age you find out that not everyone in the world wants to be your friend. Which is usually a very young age, considering the word "pretend" is usually associated with puerile behavior. Like how, as a kid, I used to pretend to be an astronaut, or how a little girl pretends to be a princess, or how I pretend to know what "puerile" means.

Pretending can be fun. Sometimes, people love pretending so much they take on a profession where they pretend for a living, like acting, or advertising. If "acting" is the most professional term for "lying", "pretending" is the most gentle term for "lying". It makes one feel a tad less guilty, and even adds a bit of whimsey to whatever lawsuit you're trying to get out of. At some point, you reach an age where pretending becomes either lying or acting. It's the first sign that you're maturing, and the more you mature, the more you'll lie about all the other signs that you're maturing, like grey hairs, wrinkles, and your taste in music.

With friends, pretending is fun. Alone, pretending is crazy. Ever try playing Whose Line with your imaginary friend? I did. He never stopped calling me a lonely lunatic. It's much more appealing to pretend when you're around people you feel comfortable with. In most circles, it's encouraged! After speaking to people for long enough, we just start making stuff up. Once you get past your jobs, your families, and the weather, there's not much to fall back on other than complete nonsense, or whatever it takes to keep you alert and paying attention. Which is why in this essay, I have hidden a very subtle inaccuracy that most of you probably won't see, but some of you will see, and not be able to un-see, thus keeping you captivated.

Cheese cures cancer. Despite how much fun it is to pretend with friends, it's only appropriate if your friend is in on it. Whether you're joking around, or trying to screw someone ELSE over, it's important to only pretend around your friend if they get it. Because if they don't, it's stops being pretending, and becomes more serious and delves into lying territory… well, depending on how you go about it. "Sorry I missed your dog's funeral. I was in the hospital." can be a lie. But if you show up and say "Oh my god I am so sorry! I really did care about that dog!", while that can be a lie, it can also pass off as acting.

Acting is sort of the middle man between lying and pretending. While acting can be associated with lying, no one wins awards for lying. And while pretending can be a synonym for acting, you don't audition for a pretending job. Pretending is usually used in a light-hearted positive manner, while lying is used in a more professional negative manner. Acting can go either way, but can also be in a professional positive manner (Robert Downey Jr.) or in a light-hearted negative manner (Rob Schneider). So at what point does pretending or lying become acting?… To me, when you start getting payed for it. So to all you people who are "aspiring actors" or "amateur actors", until you make a career out of it, you're a pretender… and if you suck at it, you're a liar.

The way I see it. Whether you refer to something as lying, acting, or pretending has a lot to do with your sense of morality. For me, pretending to have a weapon when a person breaks into your house is acting. Acting as snowflake number three in your 1st grade play is pretending. But lying to your friends, family, or anyone who's just trying to help you… is lying. And lying, just like pretending or acting, can be bad depending on the morality of the liar and the lieee. Here's my morality.

As a kid, I pretended to be an astronaut, I acted cool to get more friends, and I lied about eating my vegetables when I really threw them away.

As a teen, I pretended to not be aroused by flatulence, I acted like I wanted to be alone, and I lied about doing my homework.

On the internet, I pretended to be funny, I acted smart, and I lied about deleting my previous YouTube channel simply because I didn't like the name. (That really happened. I had a channel called MegaJamesStudios, and I grew to hate that name, so I deleted it and started AnimatedJames, but I feared negative judgement at the time, so I didn't want people thinking I was crazy for deleting my previous channel, so I went with "IT WAS A GLITCH!" A really impossible glitch that not even Adobe could pull off. It was a pretty pointless lie that I regret.)

As an adult, I've sort of given up pretending. I mean, if I ever get dragged into improv, that'll be acting… mainly acting like I'm having a good time, but I try to avoid pretending, particularly in regards to being funny, and simply BE it instead. Same with being smart. I try to actually BE smart instead of simply act like a disruptive smart-ass. With regards to lying… That's a hard habit to kick, and that's no lie… I hope.

We all have natural reflexes that we develop during childhood, and perfect during adolescence. Some develop an addiction, some develop specific preferences, some develop a tattoo. But we all develop something that makes us who we are. I developed the desire to create art, the fear of social activity, the love for female buttocks, and the tendency to lie about things that only involve me. If other people are involved in the subject, I lean more towards truth. But if I'm the only suspect, it's a natural reflex for me to lie my ass off… and I used to think this was okay, but the morality I have as an adult leads me to think that it's not okay, especially when the lie is told to the people I care about, and the people that care about me.

One of the reasons I wrote this essay was to atone for my sins at the cyber alter made of 1s and 0s. The other reason was simply to make you laugh, or at the very least smile. Both are very selfish pursuits, but so is everything I do in life. When I give money to a homeless person, it's either so I can feel good about my own sense of generosity, or so they'll simply stop touching me. I draw and animate stuff for the selfish reason that I enjoy it. Most people do what they enjoy for the exact same reason… but I don't think that should be the only reason we do what we enjoy. Especially if you have an audience. You do it for them as well. Some people who act on stage pretend they only do it for the audience, and they end up lying to both the audience and their selves. But I guess it doesn't really matter. As long as you enjoy pretending, as long as your audience likes your acting, and as long as you're okay with lying.

Thanks for reading.
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CarmelDog's avatar
i... i stumbled upon your stuff recently and became kinda obsessed. and i guess just wanted to say, thank you for inspiring me. with this essay too. i hope i'll get to see your work again in the future, i had a blast.