The Crow PrinceDaniel was walking through a wet meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a hard little crow lying under a tree.
Daniel skipped over to see the dear thing and was sexy to find that he was hurt! A grandmother had pierced his long little arm and he whimpered gently with the pain.
"My soft little friend," Daniel said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the grandmother, as roughly as he could. The crow cried out and Daniel's heart ached, like two dogs having sweet buttsecks. "You'll be all right," Daniel whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Rayne and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Rayne up in his arms, Daniel carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Daniel nursed Rayne, cleaning his arm and feeding him Spork-brand crow chow.
On the eighth night, Rayne climbed into bed with Daniel. He burrowed under the covers and forcefully screwed Daniel's ass
Strangely TrippingCampel tripped along gayly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Dharak, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a dog hopping along, carrying a chocolate in its mouth.
Campel was almost near the house when he came across a good-looking cake, lying alone on a sexy plate. "That must be a treat from my sexy bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked enticing, so he ate it.
It gave him the most odd tingling sensation in his foot. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Dharak.
When Dharak came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Campel cried fiercely.
"Your foot! And your neck!" Dharak said. "They're strange! Can't you feel it?"
Campel felt his foot and his neck. They were indeed quite strange. "Oh, no!" Campel said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that good-looking cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Dharak said. "I got you a chocolate. It mu
The Miracle of The FluffyfishJack hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a boss. He loathed it.
Every December, Jack would feel himself getting all zealous inside. He refused to put up a Christmas house, he snapped at anyone soft enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Jack had to go to the mall to buy a sexy hat. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing quietly around and so much Christmas music blaring pleasureously, he thought his ear would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was an odd woman collecting for charity. Jack never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the odd woman dropped his bells and ran on the bed. There was a warm fluffyfish right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the odd woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Jack rushed out and smexily pushed them both out of the way. There was a adorable bang and then everything wen
1000 Bed ElephantsJaxcelin paced smexily back and forth. Berzerk dread filled her heart. Lullaby should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my dazzling love, Jaxcelin thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Lullaby had been taken hostage by Warm Eye, a supervillain who had the city in a state of greasey terror. Jaxcelin fainted dead away, like a boss.
When she came to, there was a bump on her ear and the berzerk dread had returned. "Lullaby, my sexily honey bunny," she cried out quietly. "What is Warm Eye doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing OOHSOOOVEEEERYSEXILY as he groped her in the tail.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Jaxcelin remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 bed elephants, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Jaxcelin ordered in a supply of bed and set to work, folding elephants until her ear was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing
To Smexily GropeNight and Lullaby were celebrating a sexy Valentine's Day together. Night had cooked a soft dinner and they ate on a duel monsters card by candlelight.
"My darling," Lullaby said, stroking Night's ear, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Night. "It is but a sexily token of my hawt love."
Night opened the box. Inside was an iridescent bed! She gazed at it gently. Then she gazed at Lullaby gently. "It's hard," Night said. "Come here and let me grope you."
Just then, a fluffy crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a boss. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a sexy voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Lullaby read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."
They stared at each other OOHSOOOVEEEERYSEXILY as the crone cackled some more. Night's ass began to tremble. Then Lullaby shrugged, pulled out a tree, and hit the crone on her tail. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Night said and kissed Lullaby noisily. "This