Angi-Shy

Since everything is getting more and more fucked up in my life, why not to fuck it up even more by openly confirming what i hinted to for a few years but never had balls to accept until lately.. I dont feel the best right now so i might regret revealing this later but fuck it. People already know im biromantic asexual. Newly i hinted to the fact im genderfluid. But it doesn't end there. I hate being physically female. Those of you who know that i put a little bit of my personality and wishes into my OCs and those of you who know my oc Zik might find a connection now. The thing is, i feel to be a guy. I feel to be a biromantic guy who is bodyfluid, aka sometimes feels feminine rather than being a girl that sometimes feels masculine. I dont know if this has some calling in the lgbt+ community too, im really just a noob in these things but this is who i feel to be. If i could, id undergo the gender surgery, but it costs $50k. I heard its for free in my country but i didn't search it