WARNING: This is a crossover with Fifty Shades of Grey but it isn't really approving of it (at all). If you are fans of the books/movie you are free not to read this but for those that are going to read the story BE AWARE THAT THE READER USED TO BE ONE OF CHRISTIAN'S SUBMISSIVES. So you know what that means.
Safe - Dean Winchester x Reader (Office AU) - Part 3
"He was my lover, Dean. Christian and I were lovers" you breathed out.
"Wh-what?" Dean stammered, breaking the silence that has surrounded you.
"He- He and I- We were romantically involved, if I could ever call that" you mumbled, fidgeting with your hands.
"Oh" he said with no emotion. You looked up at him and saw him stare at you with an almost cold expression, his jaw was clenched and you could clearly see that he was... bothered? Why would he be bothered by you having an affair with with Christian, even in the past, unless... Unless he was interested in you?
You shook your head trying to dismiss the thought of Dean being even in the slightest bit jealous because he had feelings for you. No, that was only your wishful thinking. To Dean you were just an assistant, or even a good friend, but nothing more for sure.
"But I don't understand, what made you want to quit your job with him then?" he asked in a rough voice.
"I-" you licked your lips "Things happened. But I should better start from the beginning" you saw him give you a small and reluctant nod and you continued speaking.
"When I started working with him I-" you let out a small sigh "I couldn't deny that I was greatly attracted to him" you said.
Dean clenched his jaw at feeling pang in his chest.
"I mean, who wouldn't be? He's like one of the most wanted men in New York, along with you and Mr. Stark. Any woman would be attracted to him, much more when she would get to know him. I was no exception. His manners, the way he moved, the way he talked and treated me made me fall even harder for him. I-" you spoke but Dean cut you off for a moment.
"You were in love with him?" his voice was laced with disbelief and... pain. It was obvious when you saw the look of hurt on his face.
You averted your eyes from him and bit your lip "I- think I was, but you can never be sure right? Love is such a strong word and I-" you let out a nervous laugh "-I had never used it before, I have never used it at all. So I don't really know if I was"
"But anyway-" you cleared your throat "I didn't make a move on him, obviously. I am not that kind of girl and he was my boss. There was a high chance that he did not feel the same way, I was sure he didn't. He had never responded romantically to any of the women that openly showed their attraction to him so why would he show any interest in me?"
"But he did" Dean pointed out.
You let out a sigh and nodded "Yeah. Yeah he did. It took me by surprise, really. I didn't expect that from him but yet he did make a move on me. He asked me out. After almost one year of knowing him and being so close to him he had asked me out. I doubt I even thought of saying no at that moment. My mind screamed yes and sometimes I wonder if I screamed it as well" you let a small laugh "But we went out, anyway. Many more times in fact. Until of course we became a thing. We never said it openly but we both knew it. At least I thought so. And things were going good, really good in fact. He was amazing. The ideal guy. Sweet, romantic, gentle. Always caring and thoughtful. I couldn't believe my luck, because certainly I couldn't think I deserved all this."
"But something happened, right?" he asked and letting out a sigh you nodded.
"Yeah, something... happened" you said hesitantly and looked down at your hands "He- Well, let's just say that he wasn't exactly what he let everybody believe he was."
You glanced at Dean and then looked back down at your hands. There was not going back now "He had a much darker side to himself that he showed only to a few people. The ones that he wanted to, anyway, and of course the ones that were involved. He had what you could say... a double life. He..." you bit your lip, not knowing how you could say this.
"He what (Y/n)?" Dean sounded worried now. He was leaning in closer to you so that he could have a better look on your face, his brows were frowned.
"He was involved in the BDSM lifestyle, Dean" you breathed out, daring to look at Dean.
You saw his posture straighten and his muscles stiffen "What?" he asked, voice just as low as yours previously, his eyes almost wide.
"He- he was involved with the BDSM lifestyle, in the privacy of his Escala penthouse anyway" you repeated.
Dean merely stared at you for a good while, unable to form any words. You averted your eyes from his and looked down at your hands but his voice made your head snap to his direction soon "Tell me he didn't ask you to..." he didn't finish his sentence but you knew what he meant.
"He- He proposed me to become his next Submissive and I- I-" you took in a deep breath "I accepted" you said.
"What?" Dean breathed out and you teared your eyes from him, unable to look at him anymore.
"I was young back then Dean. Not really young but still I- I didn't know much about-" you let out a shaky sigh "I didn't have much experience and although I was reluctant to agree I- I did. I didn't know much and I-I didn't know what Christian was capable of" you tried to justify yourself, some tears rolling down your cheeks as you thought back to that time. But mostly because of what Dean was going to think now of you. Was he probably disgusted at you? Did he hate you now? Did he not want to have anything to do with you? You regretted even speaking up in the beginning now. You-
Dean wrapped his arms tightly around you and pressed his body as close as possible to you "No tears, especially for him ok?" he said firmly yet softly, wiping out the tears from your cheeks "And no need to justify yourself to me." he forced a small smile on his lips.
"Continue. And what happened next?"
"He-" you wiped a few tears, pulling away from Dean "He offered me a contract that outlined my role as a submissive, his role as a dominant, rules and limits. I didn't understand much. I knew a few things but still- I guess nobody could have ever prepared me for what was to happen. He- Christian was much more... painful than I thought. It- Every time felt like torture, Dean, and I- there were moments that I would pass out from the pain. And the worst of all was that he seemed to be enjoying it. I stayed, though, thinking that things would probably chance that I- I would probably enjoy it as well, that no matter what it was still Christian and whenever I was with him we wouldn't be doing... all of that. But things were not like that. He got more rough, praising me that I was one of his best submissives and saying that he would go easy on me. But he never did. And I- I just couldn't take it Dean. I couldn't take it anymore. It was as if I didn't know that man anymore. He wasn't the same person I had feelings for in the beginning and the pain- the pain never stopped Dean. It hurt so much that I couldn't take it. I-I even began to have nightmares of him- of him doing-" you shook your head, letting out a trembling breath as sobs escaped your throat "I left. I ended the relationship and left him. Quit the job so that I wouldn't see him anymore because the pain was and is too much to take. I tried forgetting but... the marks will be a constant reminder. I-" you were cut off by glass breaking.
You hadn't realized in between your crying and talking how Dean had gotten up. You could now see the pure rage written all over his face, his fists clenched and him gritting his teeth to obviously stop himself from breaking anything more. A few bottles with whiskey were now on the floor in pieces as in a swift movement he had thrown them away from the table.
"The bastard" he growled and you found yourself scooting away in fear, even though his anger was not directed towards you.
"If I get him in my hands I swear I'm gonna rip his throat open" he growled and you bit your lip in fear. His calm and collected behavior fading away immediately. And it scared you because you had never seen him like this before. Never.
"That son of a bitch" he grumbled and you could literally see the veins in his head pop up from his anger.
"No, please Dean- I mean, Mr. Winchester. There is no need for you to be angry. It's- it's not important" you mumbled the last part mostly to yourself but of course he heard it.
"It's not important?!" his voice was laced with disbelief "What the hell are you even talking about (Y/n)! The hell it isn't important! That bastard- he- he abused you. That two faced son of a bitch abused and you- you-" he let out a trembling breath "You think you deserved it, don't you?" he ended up asking, his eyes wide as he came into that realization.
"I- It's not his fault. I agreed to it, he didn't force me into anything. It's my fault." you muttered, brushing a few tears from your face.
"What the fuck are you just saying?!" he roared and you couldn't help but flinch at the tone in his voice "You can't just be taking all the blame for what that bastard did you." he all-but-shouted.
He put a hand on his waist and ran another down his face. He mumbled - or more like growled - some incoherent things that you couldn't catch as he turned his back to you. You jumped when you saw him punch a nearby wall and your eyes widened as you saw the blood run from his hand. He didn't seem to care though, he was fuming - literally - and the anger was clearly visible as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
"It's- it's been a long time ago, there is no need for you to worry yourself with something like this. I've learned to live with that, anyway. Just like I've learned to live with all these scars. It's- it's not something I wouldn't expect from him. Or any other man anyway" you muttered in between tears.
"What?" he breathed out and immediately turned to look at you, unable to comprehend what was happening.
"You're kidding me right now, right? You have to be kidding" he asked but when he saw you not make a single movement his eyes widened even more.
"(Y/n)" he said more firmly but you did not look up at him, your head was bowed and your eyes focused on your hands.
"(Y/n) look at me" he said in a much softer voice, taking hold of your shoulders and giving you a slight shake and squeeze so that you were looking at him.
"You really think you don't deserve something good in life?" he asked, his voice filled with hurt and you dared to shake your head. It was true that even before Christian you were rather self-conscious but after what had happened with him you had just been proven to the fact that you were not worthy of something good in life, of a man to treat you well. Of a man like... Dean.
"Oh (Y/n) but you have to see that you do. You do deserve something good. You do deserve for a man to love you and cherish you, sweetheart. You do deserve to be happy. You so deserve so much more than that asshole treating you like he did. You do deserve so much more than pain for that bastard's pleasure. You do deserve much more, (Y/n)" he rubbed his thumb over your cheek he was now cupping.
"So much more" he whispered and you felt the corners of your mouth lift into a smile at hearing Dean say this. Mostly because he did not think any less of you after finding out the truth but because he actually treated you well and made you feel like you were worth something good. He gave you faith and hope in happiness. Something that with Christian you had long ago forgotten.
You had not realized how silence had surrounded you but you did not care anyway. It felt comfortable just looking at each other and being so close. Before you could realize it you saw him lean in and your breath hitched on your throat. You glanced at his lips for a second and you could swear that he looked at yours as well. Not that it mattered, though, because the gap between you was significantly becoming smaller and smaller until-
"I-I should better be going" you turned your head on the other side "It's-it's getting late and I should have already left by now" you mumbled.
He cleared his throat and pulled away "Yeah yeah. If- if that's what you want. Yeah sure. I- I will take you there." he mumbled and you quickly got up and away from him, biting your lip in thought of whether this was right or not.
Dean just sat there and let out a frustrated and sad sigh.
The ride to your home was silent, as much as it could be, and neither you nor Dean dared to say anything. You sometimes glanced at him and saw his eyes focused on the road, lips pursed meaning that he was deep in thought. Sometimes he would grip the steering wheel tightly in his hands as he thought to some things. All you did was gaze up at him and admire how the light you passed by illuminated his features just enough so that you could see him. Shining over his beautiful face that had you captivated.
At some point Dean turned his head to look at you and caught your eyes. You immediately averted them but could clearly imagine the smirk that would be on Deans face. You just looked anywhere but him but then you felt yourself jump. Your head snapped in Dean's direction and then down to his hand holding onto yours softly, a small smile playing on Deans lips as he rubbed his thumb over your palm. The movement itself making a warm feeling run through you and goosebumps create all over your skin.
You bit your lip as you stared down at your hands and could hardly contain your smile... and blush. The rest of the drive was just spent with you sneaking glances at each other whenever you thought the other was not looking and locking eyes sometimes. Dean chuckling sometimes and you blushing like a mad.
"Here we are" he said as you reached your house; faster than you thought and even though you didn't want to you removed your hand from his.
"Thank you for the ride and everything" you said and opened the door, about to exit the car. But him holding your arm stopped you. You turned to look at him with a small frown.
"(Y/n) are you sure you're ok?" he looked worried.
You looked at him with an almost blank face but then a smile formed on your lips "Yes, yes I am. Thanks to you"
He smiled more and spoke again "Ok but if you don't feel alright tomorrow you can take a week off, you know that? Or as long as you want to anyway. You rarely take a break after all."
"No, Mr. Winchester I'm fine. Besides I like working with you." you smiled and were quick to add "It- it takes my mind off things and such and yeah you know..." you trailed off with a nervous laugh.
"Alright then. See you tomorrow at work (Y/n)" he said and you nodded.
"See you tomorrow Mr. Winchester" you said and once again he stopped you before you could exit the car.
"Oh and (Y/n), please. Just Dean, when it's the two of us" he said with a small smirk and you nodded.
"Of course. See you tomorrow Mr- I mean, Dean. See you tomorrow Dean" you said and he smiled more at hearing his name roll off your tongue so softly.
"See you tomorrow (Y/n)" he said in a soft voice and you smiled.
You exited the car and made your way to your house, not forgetting to turn and glance at Dean that was still there watching you with a small look on his face.
"Oh come on now!" Dean all-but-whined as you handed him another stack of papers.
"I'm afraid so" you could hardly keeping yourself from giggling.
"But come on, I think my hand's about to fall off" he shook his hanging hand in front of and pouted like a little child.
"I'm sorry, but you are the CEO of this Enterprises. So the contracts need your confirmation Mr. Winchester" you told him with a small shrug.
He playfully glared up at you "I think I told you to call me Dean, didn't I?"
"Sorry" you mumbled with a small blush.
"It's ok, I can think of some ways you can make up for it" he wiggled his eyebrows at you with a grin and you rolled your eyes.
"Dean" you groaned and he chuckled.
"See you already got it" he grinned widely and then focused back at the papers in front of him that needed him to sign.
"What's this?" he stopped himself from signing the papers in front of him.
"That's uh, the contract regarding your collaboration with... the Grey Enterprises" you said "They called earlier and said that even though you did not attend your meeting yesterday they sent us the contract ready for you to sign. I went through it and I must say that it is actually really beneficial for our company so- What are you doing?" you stopped yourself and asked him as soon as you saw him tear the papers into pieces.
"We're not collaborating" he stated, throwing the papers int a nearby bin.
"Call them- No, better tell somebody else to call them and tell them we refuse to collaborate with them." he said in an almost growl.
You looked at him with a deep frown "But-" you only managed to say before he cut you off.
"We're not going to work with them (Y/n) and that's final!" he snapped at you and your eyes widened at his behavior.
"Sorry" he mumbled, running a hand down his face.
You hesitated but spoke "No it's alright" you mumbled and he looked up at you with a small smile of his own.
"Ok then let's talk about something else" he said trying to lighten the mood "What are you going to wear tonight?"
"What do you mean?" you frowned, leaning against his desk.
"At Tony's party. I thought you knew about it" he frowned as well.
"Of course I do. Mr. Stark throws parties almost every night so that is not something new but I don't know what I have to do with it?"
"Well Tony invited me over, obviously, but I don't really wanna go there alone. So you are going to accompany me there. Besides, there will be some really important businessmen there so we will get to do some work as well, if that seems tempting enough" he said with a grin and you chuckled.
"It does sound tempting, I'll admit" you said and he rolled his eyes with a knowing look on his face.
"But still... can't you just go there without me? I know you'll be able to manage without me" you asked him.
"I can. And probably I will, even though that seems really hard. But- I don't really want to." he looked at you with a soft smirk and you found yourself giving in.
"But I don't have anything to wear" you said. In vain, though, because you already knew you were going to agree with him.
"Then take the rest of the day off. Get all dolled up and pretty, even though you already are, and I'll come and pick you up by seven thirty. Ok?" he smirked at you and you nodded.
"Ok" you said.
You were happy that you'd finally get to take a break from your routine but at the same time there was a feeling in your gut that nothing good was going to come from this.
That something bad was going to happen.