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IF you can't tell from my recent super emo dark crap I post here, I've started down the long path of depression again in my bipolar cycle.  I always think I'm better when I am relatively 'normal' in my thoughts, but the depression always comes back and proves me wrong, joke's on me.  With the depression comes a whole shitload of paranoia too, so if  I get super . . . distrusting, it's because I think you hate me and are trying to hurt me :rofl:.

I'm still drawing for Farewell-BlackParade, here's some of my more recent stuff in case you missed it or don't care or something:


maya the psychic by Farewell-BlackParade

I'm going to really try to make a feature soon for other artists who I want to feature D:.  Honestly, the feature will probably come sooner on my painting account because it's less stressful there with the lower amount of attention.  We'll see lol.

I'm also offering $10 commissions again to boost my ego and make a little bit of money to help pay for Photoshop every month, stupid subscription system. 

Anyway.  I hope everyone is doing alright; I don't answer long comments super often because I get overwhelmed, but I'm going to really try to answer and not just read.  I love y'all and I don't want you to feel left out or unsafe on my page.

:hug:
  • Listening to: choke // idkhbtfm
  • Reading: rp
  • Watching: american dad
  • Eating: trail mix
  • Drinking: coffee
hopefully I find the motivation to post a feature sometime, I'm just not a huge fan of dA at the moment haha.

Manipulations just don't ease my soul like they used to, well at least mine.  They're so flat and dry and superficial and I want to punch them in the face :D.  I know part of the reason this has happened is that my emotions are more tied into my paintings and drawings now, not as advanced as they are.  Though i only reached like intermediate level in manips hmm :confused:

Anywayyyy.  I don't like pimping out my site sooo I won't.  Yeah.

Rascal died on Monday.  I was there when they put him down and not sure it was the best idea.  I just had to be there for him in his last moments.  Now I keep flashing back to seeing him gone, his eyes and his tension.  They were just gone and it's hard to accept.  But hopefully it will get easier.

I hope everyone is doing alright; I know I don't respond very quickly but I do care if there's something you need to talk about.  So yeah.  If any of you needs anything from me, I'm more likely to respond to notes than comments.

Anyway, have a good day everyone.  Yeah the feature ain't happening right now :rofl:
  • Listening to: stabbing grief
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: american dad
  • Eating: cookie
  • Drinking: coffee
I might post a feature soon and actually do something useful :lol:

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, etc.!  :)  I really love all of you, I need to find the time to respond to everyone and thank everybody.

My birthday was not the best day ever and today was worse.  My dog, Rascal (aka Rackie) is dying.  He hasn't eaten in three days or drank in two and he has a lot of vomiting and bad stomach stuff going on.  I think he might be put down tomorrow so his pain will end, but I am freaking out about not having him around anymore, of him not licking off my food plates or eating peanut butter or his special birthday treats.   Gahh.  Not to mention the barking (yapping) and all the excitement about going on walks with his little harness on because he has a bad neck.

When I'm really emotional I tend to create a lot of art and this time is no exception.  I'm going to try to finish it but who knows what I'll feel like. 

Anyway, thank you so much again for the birthday wishes and for your support all year round! :hug:

  • Listening to: stabbing grief
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: two and a half men
  • Eating: yogurt
  • Drinking: coffee
I want to update y'all but I don't feel like it xD

enjoy!

Mata Hari by daekazu m u t e by GeoArcus Frozen in grief by NataliaDrepina

I sit, and moan / like one who once had wings by PsycheAnamnesis

Witchblade #3 page 23 by BryanValenza On the Bus by burningmonk Witchblade #3 page 14 by BryanValenza

 Unreal Light Test by Dimeolas7

 Dsc1517 by Batsceba What Does This Feel Like to You? by visualizemynameGift - dragon (but secretly a brush test) by queenofeagles

 the mistress by deer-o

Loki Odinson by AnarchyWulf Colourful Gerard by anadermanovicsart A song for lovers. Beaucaire. FR by jennystokes

Spring Time And Cherry Blossom by umbatman

Urban Cats - 121 by MARX77 Barcelona Line-Play by Einsilbig bestellen by harteus

Star Wars - A Rey Of Hope V1 by FlewDesigns

Click_0101 by br53199 298 - Summer Colours by ElyneNoir On Your Way by scheinbar

BIRGI by mecengineer Zurich Pride Amnesty International by Picture-Bandit

Kitty Toes by Cinnamoncandy
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: law and order: CI
  • Eating: yogurt
  • Drinking: coffee
gonna do one with recent faves too at some point :P.
I'm posting a lot more on my other account but I'm trying to make manips too so I don't get rusty :).
Anyway, enjoy!

Venice by Night 4 by batmantoo Skull Mountain by maxprodanov

Snow tree by ElenaDudina

Under the clouds by Ellysiumn

Yellow Diamond by OXMiruku Magical Butterfly by JennyLe88

Fire Faery by NazNemati

Queen of Diamonds by Dzydar Red by Dzydar

 The Cerulean Girl by mynameistran Mermay 2018 by l-aciel Lover Tree by jialu

 Face 15 by sandara

Approximate by creativemikey Kingdom of the Dark Souls by adrianamusettidavila  Not Your Cup of Tea by JannaFairyArtRain by sharandula

 i'll never cry again by zephy0

Tentacles by ericadalmaso Breathe by yuumei

Sin2 by wlop

nOiSe by mimikascraftroom Fanart - BTS - Suga - poppy seed flower by AliceRossi

madoka by asml30

Prep Time by RadiusZero daybreak by len-yan  Have I Gone Mad? by daddy-likes-men11

Homunculus by ErikShoemaker
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: seinfeld
  • Drinking: coffee
what Wichrzyciel  drew for me! :)

Commision - Hayley Wiliams by Wichrzyciel

isn't it awesome!  :love: :love: :love:
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: seinfeld
  • Drinking: coffee
I don't know much features matter anymore but oh well :P.

Tentacles by ericadalmaso Breathe by yuumei COMM: Lady Raisha by Florineil-chan

Midnight sun by mabuli

Face 15 by sandara

nOiSe by mimikascraftroom Fanart - BTS - Suga - poppy seed flower by AliceRossi

madoka by asml30

Prep Time by RadiusZero daybreak by len-yan  i'll never cry again by zephy0

Sin2 by wlop

Aquilin II by Wen-JR

Self-destruct by SandraWinther Have I Gone Mad? by daddy-likes-men11

Homunculus by ErikShoemaker

Untitled by MWeiss-Art The moon vision by Thunderi  dust by MWeiss-Art

Not Wanted (20/365) by Tall-Tale-Memory

Kristine by emuciss

old myths wither away by PsycheAnamnesis Shandor by ElenaSai

250 - Pearl by ElyneNoir
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: seinfeld
  • Drinking: coffee
it sort of bombed :(
of the few of you, Loffy0 won, congrats yo! :hug:
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: law and order
  • Drinking: water
finally have some money for one ^_^.  It's the same process, post a number and I'll random select or whatever. 

This time you're playing for this one: 

feisty by Andaelentari

I hope I get enough people to enter so I can give this away!
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: law and order
  • Drinking: water
Just a small update.

Not really much to report except pain all the timeeeeee in various places.  Tiger balm helps and sometimes ibuprofen works so yay.

I think I'm getting back into dA because I have a newish account at Farewell-BlackParade.  I get a lot less attention there but that's okay, it just motivates me to do better :).  And drawings etc are not everyone's cup of tea.

Anyway, here's the feature :)

The sun girl #Daily 12 by Ellysiumn

Mermaid with space buns by ARiA-Illustration A Wish Upon A String by camilladerrico

A Pearl Mermaid Hunt by Valentina-Remenar

Flying jewel ( Mosquito hummingbird). by Phototubby Spring Evening by Bimmi1111

Um Lugar Encantado by Wesley-Souza

Princess Swan by IgnisFatuusII Reach for the Sun by Loffy0

Chill by Rowye

Coz by WesleyChen Abandoned by Claparo-Sans

Yggdrasil by Rowye

Shen by LAS-T Zodiac: Pisces by raptorzysko

Where Do The Children Play? by MARX77

melody from a distance by bohomaz13 Electric Zoe by SkylerBrown

Silver Cyborg by jiajenn

Perennial by GDBee sometime 2016 by LoveHeartMusicFriend

Castiel by AmandaTolleson

Rescue My Heart by Ariel87 Lost thoughts by Doringota

Dressing by wlop

A haunting waiting to happen by Peterix
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Reading: slaugtherhouse five
  • Watching: friends
  • Drinking: coffee
I think having two accounts made me interested in dA again haha.  Not sure how often features will happen, though.
IT's cutie pies this time, and not just photos of them because there's so much cute in that folder that isn't photography xD.

Needle Felted Fox by YuliaLeonovich Totem Cats for You by TeaPhotography

 Rawr by Loffy0 One by TeaPhotography

Simple Cat Posture by TeaPhotography

That face :) by TinaLouiseUk My Smiley Boy by x-xSpitFirex-x

Urban Cats - 103 by MARX77

Growlithe Bum by PokeShoppe Zappa. Fake fur and real fur.1 by jennystokes

Cozy. by Phototubby

mono by awjay Ecuador | Squirrel Monkey by lux69aeterna

Birthday relaxation by LordLJCornellPhotos

Chance Marie Louise by Michaeldavitt

A small miracle by Katrin-Elizabeth

Atos by Gejda

Rainbuns by camilladerrico
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: rick and morty
  • Drinking: coffee
:wave:
decided to do a mini feature of work that people think best represents their style.  Enjoy :).

Ellen by MikesScribbles Tiger Tigers by MikesScribbles

Sing For Me, My Angel Of Music by PrincessMagical

The Moment by phydeau

Desert by stellartcorsica

Alley crime by MangekkoJones

Moon Seekers by FrostAlexis

How the Dear Jane quilt turns out by BellaGBear

L'heure des photographes by Markotxe Cambo 12 by Markotxe

Friends by JACAC
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: rick and morty
  • Drinking: coffee
Okay, I'm moving my paintings/drawings to another account I opened awhile ago!


Don't feel obligated!
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: rick and morty
  • Drinking: coffee
Will be great to read if you need to sleep :P.

Hmm, so since last time, I have miraculously kept my job at Goodwill despite all my tardiness and general freaking out haha.   The bus is the worst for my mental state; I have social phobia and I don't like people so close to me, if that makes sense? :confused:  So it's a battle to build up the courage to even leave the house in the first place.  Hopefully it gets easier someday, because it wears me out haha.

Umm, I'm going to enter a Beautiful Bizarre contest here: beautifulbizarre.net/art-prize…
It's for traditional art so I'm definitely going to crash and burn but if I have 40 dollars sometime i'm going to attempt it :P Maybe I'm getting used to rejection.

Lately, my muse has been stuck on drawing and painting, especially of Gerard and Hayley, who probably would think I was creepy for liking to draw them so much >>.  But using them as my references sort of helps me mentally, gives me a chance not to be anxious because I know their faces so well.

Photomanipulations are hard now because I think I killed my interest in them but I need to do more so I don't get rusty.  Just need to find the urge, rawr.

Hmm, my cats are doing okay and both dogs are old so they have old dog problems.  Oh oh, Benji the cat is a star on tumblr now, he has 500 likes or whatever on a picture of his.  My art gets like 50 and his one photo pwns me so hard :rofl::.

I'm excited about going to a Paramore concert next month, even though I might be really really scared the whole time.  I can't help it, concerts in the past have always made me happy.  So fingers crossed I don't have some kind of breakdown.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well :) :hug:
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: rick and morty
  • Drinking: coffee
I need to post journals more often. . . well, if only I had stuff to write about :P.  Really, my life is pretty boring so only read if you have time to go into a coma for awhile :).

I still work at Goodwill sorting books and it's super fun, though it aggravates my back and neck and (sometimes) shoulder.  Physical therapy helps with my back but the rest I'm just sort of self-treating with ibuprofen.  Yaaaaaaaaaaay pain.  I also fell and hurt my knee and that was rad.

Ummm, I have applied to multiple galleries and have been rejected by all of them, which is hard to get over, but one day I'll be okay with it I guess.  I should expect a lot of rejection :nod:.

Recently I've been emo so that's why everything is sort of dark, sry.  I listen to My Chemical Romance all the time, which might not help, but I lurve it :rofl:. By the way, Twitter kills your soul D:.

Yes, i feel like I'm missing something but oh well.  I hope everyone is doing alright :) :hug:
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: rick and morty
  • Drinking: coffee
tumblr requests:
1. Killjoys as angels
2. OC - Giraldo
3. Niko chan archiveofourown.org/users/momi…
4. Samurai jack samurai

Quo
photomanips
make money lolol
album art
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: law and order
  • Drinking: coffee
my favorite folder apparently lol.

Find Me In The Future by NanoMortis

Sladkaya pesnya by SILENTJUSTICE Lost In Iceland by BrietOlga I fell you... III. by Ephynephryn

Winter Morning Lakeland Calling by Capturing-the-Light

I'm starting to forget... by NataliaDrepina Valmy 23 by Markotxe Erhoben by Daystar-Art

 7777 G by exellero Witching Hour by VarshaVijayan

Survivor by Kallaria bird song by Michaeldavitt Hallow-ing Death by SummerDreams-Art

054 - Leopard by ElyneNoir

okay so I haven't been on dA a lot lately so I haven't added a lot to the inspiration folder  /fail
  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: law and order
  • Drinking: coffee
Congratulations to RainyGreenTrabant!  Send me your address via note and I shall mail it to you! :heart:

I've been drawn into your magnet tar-pit trap by Andaelentari

edit: due to a mixup, this one still needed a home and I have drawn another number.  Congratulations to Eric-S-Huffman for winning this piece!  note me your address so I can send it to you :).


  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: law and order
  • Drinking: coffee
I made a bad choice in posting it as a status and not a journal, methinks xD.

Anyway, JACAC is 1 and Loffy0 is 2 (just for me to remember really).  Post here for a number and I'll pick someone in a week or so.

The work you're entering for is:

I've been drawn into your magnet tar-pit trap by Andaelentari

good luck!  I might do a few more giveaways for the holidays too, let's see how much I can afford :rofl:.


  • Listening to: my soul imploding
  • Watching: law and order
  • Drinking: coffee