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Chapter 8: Attack of the Exploding Jawbreakers

“Well, this certainly wasn’t how I was planning to spend the rest of the night…” said Double D, with a very exasperated look on his face.

And he had every right to be. At the moment, he was on an elevator with an ecstatic Ed, a serious Eddy (or, at least as serious as someone can get about jawbreakers), Zim (minus his schoolboy disguise), Gir (even though he was no longer wearing his dog disguise, Ed still called him “puppy”), and MiniMoose. The elevator was hidden in Zim’s house, and seemed to be heading underground.

“Just be thankful I let you three in this far, humans,” said Zim. “The only reason you three are even here is because you’re experts on the building Tak is planning to infiltrate.”

“We do have names, you know,” said Double D.

“I know,” said Zim. “But calling you worm-babies “humans” makes me sound more intimidating. It’ll help when I finally take over this useless rock.”

“Please,” said Eddy. “A Space Robot mask wouldn’t make you intimidating.”

“And besides,” said Double D, “if Earth is so useless, why are you trying to conquer it?”

“Zim doesn’t need to answer that,” said the irritated alien.

By this time, the group had arrived at the floor Zim wanted. It housed a massive and impressive-looking computer.

Ed, still very excited, was the first one out of the elevator. “This reminds me of the evil lair of the Frost Beings from the dark side of Pluto!” He paused. “Hey Zim, can I pilot a spaceship?”

Zim just looked at the tallest Ed. “No,” was his reply.

Ed immediately went mopey. “Aww…” he muttered. “Why not?”

“Because,” said Zim, walking up to the computer. “You remind me too much of Gir for my liking.”

“It only took you until just now to figure that out?” asked Eddy.

“Okay, first thing’s first,” said Double D. “Zim, how do you even know Tak’s trying to take over the jawbreaker factory?”

“Back when we first saw that cat, Mimi, Gir was able to capture her and bring her here,” Zim explained. “Mimi is Tak’s SIR unit, like Gir is mine…only smarter. Anyway, Mimi escaped, but not before I did a complete scan of her memory banks. This is what I was able to find.”

A fuzzy picture suddenly appeared on the main screen of the computer. Double D also noted that the other monitors seemed to be showing every known area of Peach Creek. As the main picture began to become clearer, Eddy and Double D’s eyes widened in recognition (Ed was too busy playing with Gir and MiniMoose to notice).

“Yep,” said Eddy. “That’s the jawbreaker factory, all right.”

“But what does Tak want with it?” asked Double D.

As if on cue, Tak’s voice was heard on the monitor.

“There it is, Mimi,” said Tak’s voice. “The central base of operations. Zim may have stopped my plan to empty the Earth’s molten core and fill it with snacks before, but that was only because he had those meddlesome and annoying humans there to help him.”

Double D’s face scrunched in concentration. “Well, it’s nice to know your kind thinks so highly of us,” he said.

Eddy looked at Double D. “Are you being sarcastic again?” he asked.

“There’s no way Zim will be able to stop me this time,” Tak’s voice continued. “I’ll get rid of him along with all the other filthy inhabitants of this planet. That will surely put me in the Tallests’ good graces.”

“The Tallest?” asked Eddy. “Who are they?”

“The leaders of my planet,” said Zim.

“What, so they’re the leaders just ‘cause they’re taller than everyone else?” asked Eddy. He paused. “That’s stupid!”

“I do admit, that does seem a little…lazy,” said Double D. “Is intelligence even considered a factor on your planet?”

Zim scoffed. “Why should something as insignificant as intelligence be a factor?” he asked. “Everyone knows height means everything!”

“Uh huh,” said Eddy. “Well, Ed’s the tallest in our group. You tellin’ us he should be the leader?”

They looked at Ed. He was lying on the floor, as stiff as a board. Gir was sitting on Ed’s stomach, while MiniMoose was flying around them in a circle.

“I’m a fish stick!” Ed exclaimed.

“I’m waiting to eat him!” said Gir.

MiniMoose squeaked.

Zim looked at Ed, then back at Double D and Eddy, who were still waiting for an answer.

“Well…” said Zim, “I suppose there could always be…exceptions…”

“Yeah, you think?” asked Double D.

However, it was what Tak’s voice said next that made all three Eds snap to attention.

“Not only that, but through my research, I’ve discovered that the product created in that facility can become a lethal weapon when exposed to very high temperatures. Not only will I destroy all this world’s inhabitants, I can use these…candy balls to destroy the very establishment that created them! I mean, it’s not like they’re useful for anything else, right?”

Then the picture went fuzzy again.

All three Eds went wide-eyed at Tak’s comment.

“No more jawbreaker factory?” asked Eddy.

“No more cavity-inducing sweet treats within a three-mile radius of the town?” asked Double D.

“No more multicolored tongues or sugary goodness?” asked Ed.

“No more reason to make new scams?!” asked Eddy.

“NOOOOOOO!” all three boys yelled.

“Master!” Gir exclaimed. “They sound just like you!”

“Oh, please…” said Zim. “As if I would do anything that pathetic…” He looked up at the ceiling. “Computer!”

Whaaaat?” a bored voice reverberated off the walls, catching all three Eds’ attention.

“Cool!” said Ed.

“Sounds like our math teacher,” Eddy remarked to Double D.

“Obtain and maintain a visual on this…jawbreaker…candy…factory,” said Zim.

A new picture of the jawbreaker factory appeared on the main monitor. It was now nighttime outside, and the factory appeared dormant.

“What, that’s it?” asked Eddy. “What a rip…”

Suddenly, a brilliant flash of light went off from the inside the jawbreaker factory. At the same time, a slight tremor shook the very foundation of Zim’s house.

“…off,” Eddy finished.

“Oh, no,” said Double D. “Do you know what this means?”

“The jawbreaker factory has the hiccups?” asked Ed.

Double D sighed. “No,” he said. “This means that it’s already starting!”

“It figures,” Zim grumbled. “I’ll show her who’s incapable of completing a mission!”

With that, Zim began running back to the elevator.

“Oh, no!” said Eddy. “You’re not leaving without us! Our whole future of scams is at stake here!”

Eddy began running after Zim, followed by Double D. Ed, however, stayed put. “Coming, Ed?” asked Double D.

“I wish I could,” said Ed, “but fish sticks can’t move.”

Double D rolled his eyes.

“Forget him!” said Eddy. “We need to go!”

“Gir!” said Zim. “If you’re going to stay here, you have to answer in case anyone calls. Other than that, don’t touch anything. Do you understand?”

Gir paused. Then…“Yes!” he chirped.

Zim sighed. Then, he, Double D, and Eddy began to head to another room in the elevator.

“You’re seriously leaving that thing in charge?” asked Eddy.

“Believe me, if I had another choice, I would,” said Zim. “Sometimes I find myself thinking that Gir’s not as ‘advanced’ as the Tallest say…”

“Oh…really?” asked Double D.

Meanwhile, Gir and MiniMoose were still staring at Ed, who was still lying on the floor of the computer room.

“Hey peanut head?” asked Gir. “You done cookin’ yet?”

Ed suddenly sat up. “Um…” he said. “I don’t know. How do you cook a fish stick?”

“I dunno…” said Gir. “Are fish sticks like tacos?”

Ed pondered for a minute. “I forget,” he said. “Oh! I know!” He turned to the monitors. “Can I watch TV on this thing?”

A deep-voiced sigh once again echoed through the room. “Unfortunately, Zim ordered me to keep all the monitors locked on your town,” said Zim’s computer.

“Aww…” said Ed. Then, his face lit up again. “Ooh! Wait!” He reached into the pocket of his jacket, and pulled out a comic book. “Do you guys like comic books?”

Gir tilted his head. “Whazzat?” he asked.

Ed gasped. “You don’t know what comics are?’ he asked. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here then!” He sat down and opened the comic book. “Welcome to story time with Captain Ed, defender of the pure candy substance known as jawbreakers! And today’s presentation is…” He looked at the front of the comic book. “The Curse of the Forgotten Frost Beings from the Dark Side of Pluto!”

“YAY!” said Gir.

MiniMoose squeaked.


Meanwhile, Zim was flying with Double D and Eddy in his Voot Cruiser. They were trying to get to the jawbreaker factory as fast as they could.

“So, once we get to the jawbreaker factory, what do you propose we do to stop Tak?” asked Double D.

“Well, if this plan is anything like her last one, she’s going to have a giant drill to empty out the center of the Earth,” said Zim. “Somebody needs to shut that off.”

“I nominate Double D,” said Eddy.

“What?” asked Double D.

“What?” Eddy asked back. “You expect me to shut off a drill when I can’t even work a calculator?”

“Hmm…good point,” said Double D.

“Meanwhile, someone has to make sure Tak is distracted,” said Zim.

“I nominate Zim,” said Eddy.

Zim glared at Eddy. “I’m sorry, when did you become the boss of this expedition?”

“And while we’re busy with the drill and Tak, what are you planning on doing, Eddy?” asked Double D.

“Isn’t it obvious?” asked Eddy. “I’m going to be making sure none of the jawbreakers get hurt, of course!”

Double D and Zim just looked at Eddy. “I’ll take Eddy with me, Zim,” said Double D.

Eddy snorted. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Just trying to make things easier for everyone…”

“Look!” said Double D. “There it is!”

Sure enough, the jawbreaker factory was straight ahead.

“Really?” asked Zim. “Huh…”

Double D noticed Zim’s lack of enthusiasm. “Is something wrong, Zim?”

“Well…” said Zim. “It’s just…I suppose I’m used to humans trying to thwart my plans instead of helping me with them.” He gave a despondent chuckle. “And it would seem that spending so much time on Earth is getting to Zim…I might actually miss the thwarting of my plans…”

“Ah, yes,” said Double D. “It seems we all need to do a little soul-searching at least once in our lives…”

“Not me!” said Eddy. “I already know what I want to do with my life!”

Double D shot a look at his friend. “Anyway…the point is, you should do what makes you happy, Zim.”

Zim just shook his head. “First I’m thinking that I’m missing humans, now I’m actually thinking of taking advice from them,” he mumbled. “I do, however, know that I shall find a solution to my problem, because I am ZIM!”

As Zim was talking, he landed the Voot Cruiser a good distance away from the jawbreaker factory.

“Okay, this is it,” said Double D. “I hope everyone knows what they need to do.”

“Oh, yeah!” said Eddy. “For the jawbreakers!”

Eddy stopped, only to find Double D and Zim giving him exasperated looks.

“And…for missions, and the Earth, and all that…” he feebly added.
Chapter 8: Attack of the Exploding Jawbreakers

In which Tak's intentions are revealed, and something precious to the Eds is threatened.

Ed Edd n Eddy (c) Danny Antonucci
Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez
Add a Comment:
squeaken1 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2008  Student General Artist
I loved this chapter. I CAN'T wait for the next.
AMX-269 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2008   Writer
Glad you like it. ;)

"What are ya, some kinda troll or something?"--Eddy, Ed Edd n Eddy

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"--Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"Aren't tracer rounds illegal?"--Jamie Hyneman, Mythbusters

Wanna know what "Sailing Bacon" is? Click here: [link]
Porcupine-Pen Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2008  Student Digital Artist
:lmao: The dialogue in this simply slayed me. (Srry for not commenting on the previous coupel of chapters ^^;) Wonderful job here. :clap: Good luck with the next chapter.
AMX-269 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2008   Writer
Glad you liked it. :)

"What are ya, some kinda troll or something?"--Eddy, Ed Edd n Eddy

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"--Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"Aren't tracer rounds illegal?"--Jamie Hyneman, Mythbusters

Wanna know what "Sailing Bacon" is? Click here: [link]
Add a Comment:

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July 15, 2008
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