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Chapter 10: Eddy is One Lucky Son-of-a-Gun

Double D looked from Eddy, to the giant drill, to Tak. He racked his brain trying to think of something that would make the situation better. There was still no sign of Zim.

“Now, Tak…” he began, trying to maintain his composure. “We’re all rational…beings, let’s say…right? Why, I’m sure if we just talked this out, we can come so some sort of compromise…”

“Attempting to negotiate with someone who’s trying to blow up the Earth?” asked Eddy. “Yeah, real smooth, Double D.”

Eddy…” Double D said through clenched teeth. “Let me handle this…”

“There’s nothing to compromise,” said Tak. “As an Invader, it’s my job to invade planets. And I intend to see my plan through to the end, in spite of you meddling humans.”

“Hey, I’m only here to get jawbreakers,” said Eddy. “And I thought you said Zim took your position.”

“And now I’m taking it back,” said Tak. “And since I’ve got you two cornered and Zim seems to have abandoned you, there’s nobody left to stop me.”

“Zim’s not here?” asked Double D. “Impossible! He came here with us!”

Meanwhile, Eddy was focused on the piles of jawbreakers that were strewn across the factory. “Man, I wish Ed had come with us,” he grumbled. “He wouldn’t be stopped by anything when it comes to jawbreakers.”

Suddenly, feedback began sounding over the loudspeakers in the jawbreaker factory.

“Uh…test, test…” said an all-too-familiar voice over the intercom.

“Ed?” asked Eddy. “Ed, is that you?!”


Meanwhile, Ed was still in Zim’s lab, with Gir and MiniMoose. But now, he was holding a small microphone provided by Zim’s computer. Ed was still staring at the monitors, which now showed all the angles of the jawbreaker factory.

“Oh, uh, hi guys!” said Ed. “I can see you guys on all these TV screens!”

“You mean the monitors?” asked Double D. “But…how?”

“It couldn’t have been Ed,” said Eddy. “Who helped you, Lumpy?”

“Um…it was the computer,” said Ed. “It did…something.” Ed turned to address the computer. “What’d you do again?”

A metallic-sounding sigh resonated off the lab’s walls. “I hacked into the factory’s security system,” said Zim’s computer. “And I’ve gained control over all the factory’s machines. You’re welcome.


“Uh…thanks?” asked Double D.

“Well…so what?!” said Tak. “Even if you do have control over the rest of the factory, it’s not like you two can do anything.”

“Nor do I plan to,” said Eddy. “Hey, Ed!” he called to the ceiling. “Ask the computer if these machines can be turned on and I’ll bring us home a little late-night snack!”


“You got it, Eddy!” said Ed. He looked up at the ceiling. “Uh…did you hear all that, or should I say it again?” He paused. “Wait…what did Eddy want?”

Apparently, your friend sees an easy way to heighten his sugar intake,” said Zim’s computer. “However, I fail to see how creating more of those sugar balls will help the present situation…

“What?” asked Ed. He turned back to the monitors. “Oh look, jawbreakers!” he exclaimed. “Can you make more?”

Zim’s computer sighed again. “Jawbreaker machines warming up…” it droned. “Estimated starting time of jawbreaker production…five minutes.

“Aww…” said Ed.


“The Earth is about to be hollowed out for an alien race, and all you can think about is jawbreakers?” asked Double D.

“Aw, come on, look around,” said Eddy, gesturing to the surrounding area. “Can you blame me?”

Double D also looked around; the room did have a substantial amount of jawbreakers in the factory. “Well…I suppose you have a point, for once…”


The jawbreaker factory’s entire foundation suddenly shook.

“Geez!” said Eddy. “That drill’s doing a number, huh?”

Double D looked around, and then spotted something in one of the windows. “I’d probably hazard another guess,” he said, “that Zim ramming his ship into the factory is causing it to shake.”

“What?!” said Tak. “That idiot!” Then, without another word, she ran out of the factory, forgetting about the two human boys she had left right next to her drill.

“Phew…” said Eddy, beginning to fan himself off. “Is it me, or is it getting hotter in here?’

Double D looked down in the hole the drill had been making. “Oh, my…” he said. He could just make out molten rock being sucked up through the drill. “The Earth’s being hollowed out as we speak! We have to act immediately!” Double D then began to look for the drill’s controls.

“Uh, yeah…you do that,” said Eddy. Meanwhile, he began looking for the switch that turned on the jawbreaker machines.


“ZIM!” Tak shouted up at the other Irken, who was repeatedly ramming his Voot Cruiser against the side of the factory. “If you value your pathetic existence any longer, you’ll stop that right now!”

“Not a chance!” Zim called down from his ship. “I see the molten rock pouring out the top of this factory. But it can’t go anywhere if the factory’s brought to the ground!”

“In case you haven’t noticed, genius, I can still stop you!” said Tak.

“Yeah, right!” Zim laughed. “And how do you expect to do that? I know for a fact that you aren’t in possession of your ship anymore!”

Suddenly, a sly grin appeared on Tak’s face. “I was hoping you’d say that…” she drawled. “And that would be a problem…if I hadn’t been flung to a planet covered in scrap metal and built…this!”

Tak pressed a button on her wristband, and out of the woods slunk a hulking, dark red spaceship that was twice the size of her first one.

Zim’s red eyes widened. “Oh, Irk,” he mumbled. His ship suddenly backed up, and then zipped up into the sky.

Tak smirked, then jumped right into her mammoth spaceship, where Mimi was waiting for her.


Machines ready for jawbreaker production,” Zim’s computer droned.

“Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!” said Ed.

“Yay, we’re doomed!” said Gir.

MiniMoose squeaked.

Standby in three…two…one…


Suddenly, the machines whirled to life inside the factory, and jawbreakers began popping out of them.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” said Eddy. He ran up to the newly made jawbreakers and began to grab them one by one. He held one out to Double D. “Want one?” he asked.

“No! Kinda busy!” said Double D, who was still messing with the drill.

“All right, I’ll hold onto it for you,” said Eddy.


The next thing Zim knew, he was zooming up into the stars, with Tak in hot pursuit. The molten lava from the Earth’s core was also sailing upwards, albeit at a much slower pace.

“You can’t win, Zim!” said Tak. “I know what you did to mess me up last time, and I’ve made sure that it doesn’t happen again! Which means I can hit you with everything I got!”

“Drat…” Zim hissed. He looked down at the Earth; it was getting smaller very quickly. “No! I am not giving up my mission that easily!” He turned on his intercom. “Computer! Attempt an analysis on Tak’s new ship and attack any opening you can find!”


Affirmative,” said Zim’s computer. “Searching…

“For what?” asked Ed. He got no response. “…” Ed stared at the screen a little more, then… “BORING!”

“Hey, Peanut Head!” Gir suddenly chirped. “Wanna dance?”

Ed looked at Gir. “Uh, sorry…I can’t dance.” Then, his face lit up. “But I can sing! Watch!” He grabbed the microphone, and then began to screech out a song, while Gir began to dance. “You…you got what I need…


But you say he’s just a friend, but you say he’s just a friend, oh baby…

Eddy stopped his stockpiling on jawbreakers to stare at the loudspeakers, which were now spewing out cacophony, courtesy of Ed.

“And that’s why I’ll never take Ed to a karaoke party,” said Eddy. “How you doing, Double D?”

Double D, however, was not so calm. “Any help would be greatly appreciated here!” he said, continuing to panic because he couldn’t find the drill’s controls.

Suddenly, amongst Ed’s tone-deaf singing, Zim’s computer could be heard saying, “Search complete. No known weaknesses found.


“WHAT?!” said Zim.


Zim’s ship was suddenly flung backward by a very strong laser, just missing the stream of lava.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that, Zim!” Tak sneered. “Now you’re going to pay.”


“Aw, c’mon!” Gir whined.

“I’m sorry, puppy!” said Ed. “I can’t remember the rest of the song.”

I’d hate to interrupt, but we seem to be having bigger problems,” said Zim’s computer. “I can’t find any weak spots on Tak’s ship. However…If we were to find a strong enough electrical current, it may short out the ship long enough for Zim to attack…

Ed stared at the screens for a minute, then a big grin appeared on his face. “I think I just thunk,” he said. He then began rooting around in the pockets of his jacket, almost completely jumping into them.

“Roomy!” said Gir.

Then, Ed pulled something out. “Bingo!” he exclaimed.

It was a pair of slippers.

“Double D taught me this,” said Ed, putting the slippers on. “Uh…you got a carpet?”

Gir smiled. He reached into his head and out popped a small shag rug with a monkey sewed into it. “I love this monkey…” he said.

“Okay, here I go!” said Ed. He began to shuffle around in circles on the shag carpet.

Zim’s computer seemed to get the idea. “Starting emergency reboot program…” it said.

Soon, Ed’s eyebrow began sparking with all the pent-up energy. “It’s working!” he said. He continued to shuffle around, soon moving throughout the entire lab.

“Ooh!” said Gir. “He’s lighting up! HE’S A LIGHTBULB!”

MiniMoose squeaked in agreement.

Soon, Ed was shining so bright, you couldn’t see him anymore. “Now for the good part!” said Ed. He reached out with one finger toward Gir, preparing to touch him.

“Zappity zap zap!”



Eddy and Double D looked up as the lights in the factory suddenly flickered then came back on. Unfortunately, this didn’t stop the drill.

“What was that?” asked Eddy.

“A power surge?” asked Double D. “Now? Oh, and I still haven’t found anything to shut this thing off!”

Suddenly, Eddy saw something next to the jawbreaker machine. He walked over to it.

“Hey, Double D,” he called to his friend. “Did you try this?”


Zim was not doing so good. Tak was hitting him with everything she had. And…she basically had everything you could think of. At the moment, Zim had once again been flung back by the sheer force of Tak’s ship. As he sailed through the open space, the Voot Cruiser’s left thruster just grazed the lava.

“You might say you’ve never made a mistake, Zim,” said Tak as Zim was recovering from the last blow to his ship, “but I’m telling you right now that you just did.” Her eyes narrowed. “You ticked me off one too many times.”

Zim was breathing heavily, fighting to keep control of his ship.

“I’ve only got one shot,” he muttered to himself. “If I can just get close enough like this…I can…”


Then, without warning, a giant bolt of lightning tore its way up the giant stream of molten lava (A/N: ‘Cause this is a fanfic, and the laws of physics don’t apply), and shot right through Tak’s ship, causing a high-pitched screech to be heard, but only by Zim. Because you know what they say: in space, no one can hear you scream.

“Huh?” asked Zim. “Uh, I mean…ah-ha! Just like I planned it!”

Then, he shot the Voot Cruiser up to Tak’s now motionless ship.

Despite just having 1000 volts of electricity shot through her, Tak was desperately trying to fend off Zim. “Come on!” she grunted, desperately pushing buttons. “Please work!”

But it was too late: Tak suddenly found her ship in the clutches of two tentacles that had emerged from Zim’s Voot Cruiser.

“As humans would say…” said Zim, as the tentacles tightened, “Game, set, and match.”

Then, the tentacles hoisted Tak’s burnt-to-a-crisp ship above the Voot Cruiser, then flung the ship far away from Earth, Tak, Mimi, and all.

Zim smiled at his handiwork. “Well, glad that’s over,” he said. Then, something else clicked in his mind. “Oh yeah, the Earth’s core.”

But when he turned around, he was surprised to see that the molten lava appeared to be being sucked back into Earth, just like last time.

“Oh…” For a moment, Zim was at a loss. “Hmm…well, I’d better hurry back so I can take credit for that, too.”


“Are you okay, puppy?!” asked Ed. He was tending to Gir, who had been shot against the wall by the giant burst of electricity that had surged through the now-dark lab.

Gir’s eyes appeared gray and lifeless. Then, they slowly flickered back to life, and Gir sat up.

“Whoo!” he exclaimed. “Do that again!”

MiniMoose, who had also been worried, squeaked happily.

Then, the lights in the lab flickered back on, along with all the monitors.

Reboot completed,” said Zim’s computer. “My sensors indicate that the Earth’s core is returning as well.

“Really?” asked Ed. “That means Eddy, Double D, and Zim fixed it!”

“How?” asked Gir.


Double D stood next to Eddy, a stunned expression on his face. In front of him was a small control panel with a single, large button. Above it was a large label that read “ON/OFF.”

“That’s all it took?” asked Double D.

“Yep,” said Eddy. “Now why can’t our science class be this easy?”

Double D let out an exasperated sigh. “Well, I suppose we should leave before anything else happens…” he mumbled, making for the exit.

“Hey, cheer up!” said Eddy. “I got us some victory food!” He still held three jawbreakers.

“Of course…” said Double D. “So, what do you think happened to Zim?”


“There it is!” Zim exclaimed, catching sight of the jawbreaker factory. “Now, I just need to make a smooth landing, and…”


Zim’s Voot Cruiser shook as it bounced off a corner of the factory.

“Ooh,” said Zim, looking back at the factory as he zipped by. “That didn’t sound good…Oh, well.”


Ed was watching the monitors with Gir and MiniMoose when suddenly, one half of the factory seemed to crumble before their very eyes. They could just make out two little dots running away from the collapsing building. Ed squinted.

“Hey…” he said. Then, his face lit up. “Eddy’s got jawbreakers! Come on, guys!” He then ran to the elevator, followed by Gir and MiniMoose.

If Zim’s computer had eyes, it would have rolled them.


Double D stared at the now half-demolished jawbreaker factory. He then looked at Eddy, who was facedown on the ground, still holding the jawbreakers. What was even more amazing was that a cluster of bricks, which used to be one of the factory’s chimneys, was inches away from Eddy’s feet.

“Eddy…” said Double D, “you are one lucky son-of-a-gun!”

“Yeah, I know!” said Eddy, getting up. He looked at the jawbreakers. “Look! They’re still eatable!”

Since Double D did have eyes, he rolled them.
Chapter 10: Eddy is One Lucky Son-of-a-Gun

In which Eddy and Double D attempt to shut the drill off, Zim and Tak do battle, and Ed does an electrifying dance with Gir and MiniMoose.

Ed Edd n Eddy (c) Danny Antonucci
Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez
Add a Comment:
dmhello Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
omgness i love the refrence from the zapaty zap zap scene its my fav. scene from the show, the rest of the fic is awesome too i read it on :)
squeaken1 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2008  Student General Artist
AMX-269 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2008   Writer
Thank you. ;)

"What are ya, some kinda troll or something?"--Eddy, Ed Edd n Eddy

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"--Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"Aren't tracer rounds illegal?"--Jamie Hyneman, Mythbusters

Wanna know what "Sailing Bacon" is? Click here: [link]
squeaken1 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2008  Student General Artist
Porcupine-Pen Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2008  Student Digital Artist
XD The title, as well as all the action and dialogue in this chapter, simply MAKES this. :3
AMX-269 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2008   Writer
^_^ I'm glad you like it. Truthfully, a majority of the chapter was made up as I went along; I wasn't sure how the issue would be resolved until I thought of the whole "zappity-zap-zap" bit. But I always knew what the ending of the chapter would be. :giggle:

"What are ya, some kinda troll or something?"--Eddy, Ed Edd n Eddy

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"--Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"Aren't tracer rounds illegal?"--Jamie Hyneman, Mythbusters

Wanna know what "Sailing Bacon" is? Click here: [link]
Add a Comment:

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