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Later that day, Double D was watching as everyone formed a line outside the town hall. Jack had finally come out of his house, and he said that his plan involved everyone in Halloween Town. But Double D wasn’t interested in that. He was interested in the fact that Eddy had been seen with Jack.

Double D was finally able to enter the town hall, and sure enough, Eddy was with Jack. Jack was talking to the vampires, so he didn’t notice Double D running over to Eddy.

“Eddy, can I talk to you for a moment?” he quickly asked, pulling his friend aside.

“What’s up, Double D?” asked Eddy.

“Another change in plans, Eddy?” asked Double D.

“What are you talking about?” asked Eddy.

“A few hours ago, you couldn’t even say Jack’s name without spitting in the dirt,” said Double D. “Now you’re helping him with this absurd plan of his?”

“Jealous?” asked Eddy.

“No, I’m not jealous!” said Double D. “I want to know your real motive, Eddy. There’s no way you’d go along with something like this so willingly!”

Eddy sighed. Then he pulled his friend close. “Okay, here’s the real deal,” he murmured so Jack couldn’t hear him. “I know this plan is about as straight as a rainbow. I’m just gonna go along with it for now. And as soon as I’m alone with the presents Jack makes . . . ”

“Eddy, you’re in this for your presents?” asked Double D. “Do you learn nothing?”

“Of course I learned my lesson!” said Eddy. “And I also learned that an opportunity like this is too good to pass up!”

“So, you’re not really interested in Jack’s plan at all?” asked Double D. “He’s going to be disappointed when he finds out.”

“He’s not gonna find out!” said Eddy. “At least, he won’t find out as long as we keep our big mouths shut.”

“I do hope you know what you’re doing, Eddy,” said Double D.

“It’s a cinch!” said Eddy. “All I have to do is snag my present while Jack’s not looking.”

The two boys looked over at Jack.

“How horrible our Christmas will be,” said the Mayor.

“No! How jolly!” corrected Jack.

“Oh,” said the Mayor. “How jolly our Christmas will be.”

“Something tells me that’s not going to be a problem,” said Double D.

Just then, the boys turned around again when they heard the Mayor groaning. And for good reason. Someone was pelting the poor Mayor with broken toys!

“What are you doing here?” asked the Mayor, looking down.

“Jack sent for us,” a first little boy dressed like a devil said.

“Specifically,” said a little girl dressed like a witch.

“By name,” said a second little boy dressed like a skeleton.





The fourth voice caught Eddy and Double D’s attention.

Lock, Shock, and Barrel looked at the other boy with them. But he was different. He was a lot taller than the other three. And he was dressed in Viking garb, complete with a bushy orange beard, holding a spatula.

“Jack, Jack!” said the Mayor. “It’s Oogie’s boys!” Then he looked at the fourth boy. “And . . . some other boy I’ve never seen before!”

“You’re still following us?” asked Lock.

“Get lost, weirdo!” said Shock.

“Can’t do that,” said the Viking. “For I am Lothar, the mighty Viking! And a mission I am on to find my Stouthearted friends. Lothar will not rest until he finds his friends, even if it takes him the rest of his life!”

“ED?” said Double D and Eddy, running over to their friend.

Ed spotted Double D and Eddy. “Wow, that was fast. Am I good or what?”

“There you are, Ed!” said Double D. “Thank goodness!”

“Where the heck have you been, Lumpy?” asked Eddy. “You trying to give us heart attacks?”

“I was off looking for Santa, so I could become an honorary elf!” said Ed. “But I couldn’t find him, so I decided to come back to Spook-E-Ville.”

“Halloween Town,” Eddy and Double D corrected their friend.

“What?” asked Ed.

“Ah, Halloween’s finest trick-or-treaters.”

The Stouthearted Eds turned their attention to Jack, who was walking over.

“The job I have for you three is top secret,” Jack said to Lock, Shock, and Barrel. “It requires craft, cunning, mischief.”

“Geez Jack,” said Eddy. “If that’s what you wanted you should’ve just asked us. Craft, cunning, and mischief are the main components of the Stouthearted Eds’ stouthearted scams.”

“If that’s the case, why have all of our scams failed, Eddy?” asked Double D.

Eddy glared at Double D. “When I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it, Sockhead!” he said.

“Anyway . . . ” said Jack. “Absolutely no one is to know about this. Not a soul! Now . . . ”

Then Jack began to whisper to the three little kids. But of course, the Mayor and Ed’s curiosity got the better of them. The Mayor listened in on his megaphone, while Ed resorted to holding his spatula to his ear. As Ed listened to the plan, his eyes widened.

“Got it,” the three kids said together. They turned to leave.

“And one more thing . . . ” added Jack, grabbing Lock’s tail. “Make sure you leave that no-account Oogie Boogie out of this!”

“Whatever you say, Jack,” said Barrel.

“Of course Jack,” said Shock.

“Wouldn’t dream of it Jack,” said Lock.

But Ed seemed to know better. He had a conniving younger sister, so he knew sneakiness when he saw it. And he was right. All three kids had their fingers crossed behind their backs.

Ed watched as the three kids left the town hall, then he made a bold decision. He fixed his Viking hat, put on his best battle face, and readied his spatula. Then he headed for the front door.

“Ed, where are you going?” asked Double D.

“Do not attempt to follow!” said Ed. “For this is a burden I must carry alone! I, the mighty Lothar, have a new mission!” Then he ran out the town hall door, after Lock, Shock, and Barrel. “Tally ho!”

Eddy, Double D, Jack, and the Mayor just stared for a few seconds. Then Jack broke the silence.

“Does he ever shut up?” he asked.

“Not really,” Eddy answered.


Ed followed the three little kids deep into a new part of the Hinterlands. Before he knew it, he was at a giant tree house. He watched at a safe distance as Lock, Shock, and Barrel entered a small cage and went up into the tree house. Ed then ran up to the tree house, under where the cage had been. He couldn’t climb up it, but he could hear every single word the three kids were saying.

Lock, Shock, Barrel: Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws?

Lock: I wanna do it

Barrel: Let's draw straws

Shock: Jack said we should work together

Barrel: Three of a kind

Lock: Birds of a feather

Lock, Shock, Barrel: Now and forever
La, la, la, la, la

Kidnap the Sandy Claws
Lock him up real tight!
Throw away the key and then
Turn off all the lights!

Shock: First, we're going to set some bait
Inside a nasty trap and wait!
When he comes a-sniffing we will
Snap the trap and close the gate!

Lock: Wait, I've got a better plan
To catch this big red lobster man!
Let's pop him in a boiling pot
And when he's done we'll butter him up!

Lock, Shock, Barrel: Kidnap the Sandy Claws
Throw him in a box!
Bury him for ninety years
Then see if he talks!

Shock: Then Mr. Oogie Boogie Man

Lock, Shock, Barrel: Can take the whole thing over then!
He'll be so pleased, I do declare!
That he will cook him rare!

Lock: I say that we take a cannon
Aim it at his door and then
Knock three times, and when he answers
Sandy Claws will be no more!

Shock: You're so stupid! Think now
If we blow him up to smithereens
We may lose some pieces and then

Lock, Shock: Jack will beat us black and green!

Lock, Shock, Barrel: Kidnap the Sandy Claws
Tie him in a bag!
Throw him in the ocean then
See if he is sad!

Ed was not liking what he was hearing one . . . little . . . bit. These kids were worse than his little sister! Would they really do all that awful stuff to Santa? That stuff was meant for Cyclops, and werewolves, and the other monsters in his movies! Not Santa! And who was this “Oogie Boogie” guy?

Ed: This Oogie Boogie guy
Sounds like the meanest guy around!
If I were on his Boogie list
I'd get out of town!

Then Ed stood there for a minute before another realization hit him. “SANTA!” he shouted. He had to stop these three brats! Then, without thinking, he found himself running to the Holiday Doors. But as he ran, for some reason, he could still hear that awful song ringing throughout the woods.

Barrel: He'll be so pleased by our success
That he'll reward us too, I bet!

Lock, Shock, Barrel: Perhaps he'll make his special brew
Of snake and spider stew!

We're his little henchmen and
We take our job with pride!
We do our best to please him
And stay on his good side!

Shock: I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb!

Barrel: I'm not the dumb one!

Lock: You're no fun!

Shock: Shut up!

Lock: Make me!

Shock: I've got something, listen now
This one is real good, you'll see!
We'll send a present to his door
Upon there'll be a note to read!

Now, in the box we'll wait and hide
Until his curiosity

Lock, Shock, Barrel: Entices him to look inside
And then we'll have him!
One, two, three!

Kidnap the Sandy Claws
Beat him with a stick!
Lock him up for ninety years
See what makes him tick!

Kidnap the Sandy Claws
Chop him into bits!
Mister Oogie Boogie is
Sure to get his kicks!

Kidnap the Sandy Claws
See what we will see!
Lock him in a cage and then
Throw away the key!


By this time, Ed had made it to the Holiday Doors. He knew Jack’s plan, and he didn’t like it at all! And those three brats were going to be here any minute! What was he going to do to protect Santa?

Suddenly, the very dim lightbulb went off in Ed’s head (okay, it was more like a candle), and he actually had an idea. He ripped a piece of the ground up and held it over his head.

“Boing!” he said to himself. “It’s a lightbulb! Boing!” This idea was sure to work! It had to! Ed wasn’t going to let those three brats do all those nasty things to Santa!

And it was a good thing too, because when Ed turned around, he saw Lock, Shock, and Barrel heading toward him, riding in a bathtub with legs.

A big, goofy grin spread across Ed’s face. Perfect timing! It was time to try his plan . . .
Chapter 7

Songs featured: Kidnap the Sandy Claws

Chapter 1: [link]
Chapter 2: [link]
Chapter 3: [link]
Chapter 4: [link]
Chapter 5: [link]
Chapter 6: [link]
Chapter 7: [link]
Chapter 8: [link]
Chapter 9: [link]
Chapter 10: [link]
Chapter 11: [link]
Chapter 12: [link]
Chapter 13: [link]
Chapter 14: [link]
Chapter 15: [link]
Epilogue: [link]

Ed Edd n Eddy (c) Danny Antonucci
The Nightmare Before Christmas (c) Tim Burton, Henry Selick
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Submitted on
February 24, 2008
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