The sound of the doorbell blasted through Eddy’s head. Eddy didn’t know what he did last night, but from his hangover, he was able to surmise that it involved gratuitous amounts of alcohol. Wincing at the sharp pain in his head, he groped for his alarm clock trying to stop the noise that brought him so much pain. It took him twelve seconds to realize that it was the doorbell. Groaning, he stumbled out of his bed, and grabbed for his robe. After an eighteen second struggle against his robe to figure out which way was up, Eddy stepped out of his room to answer the door.
As he walked down the hall in a near-somnambulistic state, his toe smashed into a chair. Pain flared through his body, enough to drown out the screams of his hangover, and pull some profanities from his colorful vocabulary. With his mind in a slightly more sober state, he pondered who could be at the door. Nobody had ever come to visit him this early in the morning.
It took Eddy twenty-three seconds to get to the door. Through the frosted glass windows surrounding it, the figures of a woman and a small child could easily be seen. The pain in his toe subsided enough to let the hangover run rampant in his skull again. He couldn’t keep his thoughts on one track for very long, there was no way he could have remembered this woman he met four years ago. He started fumbling at his keys, trying to remember which one opened it. Eddy always regretted getting locks like this after the first time his house was broken into, they caused more problems for the owner than they did for the thief. After eleven seconds of searching through his keys trying to figure out which one opened the lock, he found the right one. Turning the key, he heard the lock click and grasped the doorknob. Opening up the door let in a blinding stream of light. He froze for a moment to shield his eyes from the glaring intruder in his home. After six seconds his eyes adjusted and he realized who the woman and child were.
“IT’S YOU! OH—,” she slapped him.