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Creating a Well-developed OC


Hello! Welcome to my guide on the creation of a balanced, believable original character! Whether this is your first time creating a character and you want some advice on where to start, or you need to tweak your character, because you're unsatisfied with it, then you've come to the right place. In this guide you'll find details on the importance of every aspect of an OC, from something seemingly insignificant as the name to the powers of a character.

This guide can be applied to original characters of any fandom or purely of your creation for your own story! If your setting doesn't include some parts, like having abilities, you can simply skip over that section. Likewise, if I'm going into details on some specifics that don't apply to your character, feel free to skip over that as well.

Before I get into breaking down a character, let me first start off by asking you to do one thing. Get the term "Mary Sue" out of your head right now before reading this. This will be the only time you'll see the phrase used. Why you ask? I'm not here to judge your OC and label them as being one of those; that's not the reason for my creating this. I personally dislike the term, because half the time people use it without understanding the entirety of what it means. If a person sees one aspect that is considered that, they automatically label the OC as such, which isn't very encouraging. It puts a damper on creativity and is just a negative, ugly term.

In place of that, I'll be using terms such as "undeveloped," "poorly developed," "overpowering," "unrealistic," "unbalanced," etc. (And the "M" word.)

Without further ado, let's begin!

Your Character's Name


You might be wondering if this should really even be on this list, but actually, the name is a very important aspect of your character! It's almost like what the first person sees, and first impressions are pretty important. Some advice:

1. Don't name the character after you. In fact, try your hardest not to basically create an OC version of yourself. This is what people refer to as a "self-insert" and oftentimes relate it to the "M" word. The reason I am against basing a character off you is because it's not very original and even slightly boring. (And then of course there are those assumptions that you're just inserting yourself into the story to live out your fantasy or be with your dream character.)

2. Try not to make up a name. If you suddenly pull a name out of your head like, "Phonesca," it will definitely raise some red flags from critics. There are some exceptions of course, like if a story takes place in the future and everyone has unique names, then it's fine.

3. Keep the fandom/settings in mind. Let's take anime for an example. A majority of them are set in Japan, so more than likely you should think of naming your character a Japanese name. Again, there are always exceptions, but ask yourself if they make sense. Like if the character were visiting from another country, then having a non-Japanese would be fine. However, if your character is fully Japanese and has a name like "Emily," then that wouldn't be very realistic. It's pretty common for people to name their Japanese characters American names.

4. Meanings are important, but let's not take it too far. If your character is cold-hearted and loves the night, be careful about naming them something like "Raven." Let's face it, though your parents know a lot about you, they probably couldn't tell what you would be like when they first named you – so keep that in mind. If the meaning is something general (such as "beauty" or "faith"), then that's fine. Don't try to search names for their meaning to match your character – that's not how it works in the real world.

5. Multiple names…? A bit iffy. That's like if the name was something like, "Marianne Elizabeth-Hudson Lockheart." Kinda crazy to have so many names, and a little unnecessary? Again, being realistic, some Spanish names have more than one last name, and if your character is married and hyphenated their last name, then that's okay. So long as we're being realistic, you don't have to worry about it.

Was that too bad…? Didn't think there was so much to a name, did you? Now onto the looks!

Your Character's Appearance


Another biggie some people use to throw around the "M" word. I'm trying to make this guide general enough to apply to both male and female characters, so bear with me in this section!

1. Modesty, let's not go overboard now. And this is calling for some modesty on your part. When describing your OC, try not to use biased descriptive words, like actually calling your character "beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, handsome, etc." People get a bit iffy when you're very attached to your character; let the people decide for themselves if the character is beautiful or not! Likewise, in the canon world, be careful of having every single character fawn over your OC. If the canon character naturally ogles, then that's okay. And if every other character is jealous over how good looking your OC is, then that's also a problem. You don't want to exude them as being too much in any category.

However! It's absolutely okay to make your OC beautiful! And by that, applying to females, you don't have to feel obligated to make her flat chested in worriment over what critics will say. I find that very silly. It's a little strange to see that people feel the need to make "average" characters, if we're truly being realistic; there are tons of good-looking people in this world. But like I said before, modesty. We're modest people here. (Now, that doesn't mean your OC has to be. But we'll go onto personality later.)

2. Don't stand out for the sake of standing out. Be careful on making some unique feature for your character. For example, pink hair is rarely natural; so mention your character dying it at some point. And purple eyes, if you really want them to have that, say they have colored contacts. Yes, there are some fandoms where that's natural, and if that's the case, don't worry about it. Also I wouldn't be so hasty on giving a natural tattoo that the person was born it that holds some special meaning…it's a little overdone.

3. OMG BOOBS. Sorry, I have to specifically go into females now! Breasts. I have nothing against large breasts, but if you're only making your character have them to score some points with male fans, then I think that's a very shallow reason right there. And please, please, don't use the excuse that anime creators make female characters with horrendously large breasts, they have NO idea what it's like. My friend is actually getting breast reduction surgery because the size of her breasts are causing her back problems…it's not so great when you think of it that way now, is it?

4. Your character should have a natural style of dress. I don't have much to say about this one, except can I say that their wardrobe should correlate with the character's personality? If your female OC wears a mini skirt and super tight shirt, but is very innocent and shy, does that really work together well…? …Not really. However, sometimes things like that can be pretty interesting, like a guy has a lot of tattoo and piercings and looks completely frightening, but he's actually a sweetheart.

Your Character's Past


Unless your OC is a baby, he/she should have a past, most definitely. It sets the stage up for the rest of the story and it's actually helpful to you. Yes, you have to take your time in creating it, but if you're writing a story or even in an RP, you can pull elements from that to thicken the plot and add more depth. Notice how I said, "take your time"…because I mean it. A past thrown together in five minutes is pretty half-assed; excuse my language.

1. Oh…woe is me! One of the biggest reasons people use the "M" word is when they see a character with a ridiculously tragic past, and I actually agree with this. To me, it completely throws a character off-balance. You don't have to try and garner tons of sympathy for your character to make people like them. That's not the best way to go about doing that. So let's list some tragic events people often put:

- Raped
- Beaten
- Abandoned
- Poor
- Adopted
- Kidnapped
- Enslaved
- Abused in some other way
- Experiencing a parent's divorce
- Losing someone (or witnessing their death)
- Amnesia (poor excuse to not create a past)
- Having the life of nobility (and despising it)

Now, ask yourself this, "Do people really go through all of this?" The first one is my absolute "NO NO." Unless you do extensive research on the effect it has on rape victims, then I suggest you not use it at all. This is a very touchy topic and if you put it in some fluffy, teenage way, then you're basically slapping anyone who's had to suffer through it across the face with such a poor representation. So don't do it.

I honestly don't completely understand why people feel the need to dump so much tragedy on their character, it's almost as if you hate them! If you want to add some slight tragedy, elaborate on it and make it seem more realistic. For example, if the person lost their mother (a huge cliché, but we'll still use it), let's be reasonable: that person will not angst over that loss every second of the day. If you lost someone and told someone about it, and that person says "sorry," you're not going to burst into tears about it unless it happened recently.

So with all that in mind, remember that all characters have good and bad things in their past, and unless their life just sucked, the majority of it should be relatively decent.

Your Character's Powers


Not all characters are going to have this, so if this doesn't apply to your OC then you can just go on to the next section. However, more often than not, your OC is going to be involved in some original storyline or fandom in which powers play a key role. Personally, I'm not very fond of this part of the character-making process; so pardon me if this section seems less than adequate.

1. Your character is not God. In an RP the term would be "godmodding." A character that is ridiculously strong and overpowering is simply one people don't want to roleplay with. And for fanfiction, how boring is it if your OC already has every power imaginable and can defeat anyone with ease? This a balanced character does not make. So tone it down a little and come up with some weaknesses so that people know your OC isn't the most perfect thing in the universe.

2. All-in-one? I don't think so. Think carefully about creating a hybrid OC in mixing two or more races, or creating an entirely new one when ones already exist in the fandom. I prefer to stay true to canon, but you don't necessarily have to.

Yeah, that section was short. Now we get on to my favorite!

Your Character's Personality


To me, it's this part that makes or break a character, and so many fall short when it comes to describing their character's personality.

1. Traits, you gotta have the good and the bad. When creating a character, you can't just slap on two or three characteristics and call it a day. Do you think you could describe a real person using only, "nice, smart, funny?" What about stubborn? Impatient? Happy go-lucky? Easily angered? You're obviously going to be missing something. But let's take it the other way, you can't just pile on traits that don't even flow together, like, "he's really rebellious, yet still respects his elders." Wait…what? That doesn't make sense at all. Some paradoxes can work, but not many do.

And you have to remember that for every good trait you give your OC, there should be a bad one as well. And I wouldn't necessarily count "shy" as being a good or bad trait, to me it could go either way or is neutral. If you're really struggling to find some flaws for your character's personality, here's some websites that should help: cte.jhu.edu/techacademy/web/20… www.gurusoftware.com/GuruNet/P…

2. Show a little quirkiness. One of the things I personally like to know about a character is their likes and dislikes, what they do for fun, what kind of food do they like, what are their dreams, etc. I especially find it unique to put something unusual in, like just some strange hobby that makes you go, "Huh? Well, that's different." But in a good way! I believe putting these things in makes the character seem more human and easier to relate to, like you can imagine sitting next to that person.

Your Character in Love


This part mostly has to do with if you've paired your OC up with a canon character of a fandom, but it can also work for OC x OC couples.

1. Are we turning this into a teen chick flick? What I mean by this is, how corny is it? Are you using every cliché in the book? We don't want your love story to be the typical cookie cutter romance do we? It's uninteresting and unoriginal. Your relationship to you is unique and special, but you have to convince others of that by giving them something they haven't seen before. Originality. Uniqueness. The unexpected – within reason of course. Here are some clichés I'd try and stay clear of:

- Love at first sight (very unrealistic and uncommon, it's also more interesting when you actually show the development of the relationship and some problems before the two characters actually get together)
- Love triangles (this sets some people off especially if it's canon x OC x canon. The "M" word is used here, because they assume your OC is special and wonderful enough to attract the love of more than one person)
- Not doing justice to the canon character (if the canon character or OC love interest is someone cold-hearted or not one to typically be interested in love, you have to work very hard to make the relationship develop naturally)
- Sex after a short amount of time (It's tacky)
- Dying for the other person

Your Character and the Plot


This means both the plot of your fanfic/original story or the plot of an RP that is ongoing.

1. Keep check on the hero complex. Your character will probably be the focus of the plot, however, you want to make sure that you're not surging them through every obstacle effortlessly. Yes, they will triumph, but with time, hard work, and impediments along the way. After all, nothing comes easy. Everyone shouldn't automatically befriend your character, because it's more interesting when there's some conflict between characters. However, I'd suggest not making your character hate the character you personally despise…again with the self-insert concept mentioned earlier. Your character is not you, or at least it shouldn't be. To create a well-balanced character, it almost has to have a mind of its own. That means its thoughts are different from your own, so that it can stand on its own. Also, when you create a character that is unlike you, you won't be so emotionally attached to it. And that brings us to our final topic:

Your Character and Criticism


Yes, it's awful when your character is called an "M" word. That's why if you base it off yourself and someone insults or criticizes it, you take it as a personal attack, because your OC basically is a version of yourself. So don't do that.

My suggestion to you is to be open to criticism and not immediately lash out on the person giving it. And yes, be able to tell the different between a harsh criticism and someone who just wants to be mean (a "flamer"), because there is a difference. A person that points out something they don't find quite right isn't necessarily trying to bash you, but may genuinely find a detail unrealistic or feel that it doesn't make sense.

Now, that doesn't mean you'll never come across someone that doesn't just hate your character's guts. It may be out of jealousy or for whatever reason, don't let it get to you. Stray from the negative side and instead divert your attention to the positive feedback you receive, and I can almost guarantee you that the good outweighs the bad. It's okay if not every person in the universe doesn't like your character, not everyone can be pleased.

And if when you're creating your OC you try to make it so that ever person will find your character "adorable," "sexy," or "badass," then you might as well just stop right there. Just stop. There's no need to continue making your character, because it's not even yours anymore. It belongs to all those people you're trying to make happy, all the people you want to like your OC. You're not doing any justice to your creativity and abilities. Don't make a character to please others, make an OC that you are happy with. Who cares what others think? In the end, it's only your satisfaction that matters.

So long as you put your heart into what you create, that will always be good enough.
Hey guys, I was finally able to make this! I've been wanting to write some advice on creating an original character for a while, but never got around to it until today!

Firstly, this advice is not the words of God. So it's completely find if you disagree with some parts, find it inaccurate, or what have you. All of this I compiled from my own (painful) experience in original character creation; from the many Mary Sue tests I've taken to researching character flaws and looking at some amazing original characters. Also, pardon the bit of sarcasm laced in this article. I can't help it. I'm a naturally sarcastic person.

That being said, this is in no way based off of any original character. All of this is generalized information that I've come to conclude help creating a balanced OC. So if you feel that I may be describing your OC in some part, don't take it personally, the only OC I had in mind while making this was my own: Marise Asahina.

Depending on the feedback I get from this, I may create an example using Marise to show each part, because I kind of feel that it's sometimes hard to really understand new information unless you apply it to something, and so by showing an example I feel that would help people understand this advice better. But I'm not sure yet.

If you feel that I may be missing something that should be up there, feel free to let me know; I might just put it in. :)

This article =angel808

DO NOT STEAL. You are allowed to give this link on other websites, but do NOT copy this onto another website or on here.
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:iconserene-simplicit:
I love this so much.
For me, it was a little hard to read some of this, especially the part about naming. My OC is named Madison Yattamori right now as I write this, and my name is Maddie King, which many think is short for Madison (IT IS NOT), so she has been called a Mary-Sue at least a few times. And, her first name is american based, so it does help. So, I'm renaming her. I totally agree with not making up a name, because I have tried, and it's only worked once (Calankaiana (Ca-lan-kai-on-a) yeah...she was eqyptian), LOL, as well as multiple names. I luckily have kept in line with the character appearance very well (see Yattamori in my gallery), though I'm ashamed to say I have given her a tragic past in which she did die, and come back, though she luckily doesn't have a bad personality in which the story relies on much of it. I absolutely don't hate her! I just did this because I wanted her to have a stronger bond with the main cannon character in the story, mine being Toshiro Hitsugaya from Bleach, though I must admit I have put a lot of tragic twists in the story, but it turns happy in the end, so it's all good! I did give Yattamori power, but not undefeatable power, so it's good there.
Sorry, but I'm comparing my character to this so you know what I was thinking when I read it. ^^
Luckily, I did give her a good personality, with good and bad, and I do have a long way of explaining her, as well as not many paradoxes ^^. Her quirks become more known as well continue in the story, especially how she hates when she's called "Captain Yattamori", or ma'am, seeing as how she believes in equality. The romance doesn't show up for a while my fanfic, though I definitely will try not to get super cheesy!! But warning, Toshiro will smile more LOL. I'm good with plot, and criticism has been given, but I'm luckily the type of person that explains stuff , so I'm good. One girl did get under my skin once by totally bashing Yattamori, ending her review with saying "Burn your mary-sue alter-ego and come back with something decent", though I let it go, and nothing bad has happened since.
Continue doing OC guides like this, it will definitely help those out who don't understand some of this stuff, maybe writing something about over used character designs and plots?
Keep writing this stuff, you've definitely helped me. Oh, and b sure 2 visit Yattamori and me at my page soon. ^^
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:iconbutterflytrancy:
Critique by ButterflyTrancy Aug 21, 2012, 9:14:37 PM
I really love this guide and to tell you the truth I really find it helpful even though I never found my Serenity to be a Mary-Sue due to a quiz I once took and trust me Serenity's was a passing score so yay she was never a Mary-Sue in the first place~! : D Anyways, I was going to say that this does help other people create characters a whole lot and also I agree with you 100% on this guide I mean the outfit part does make a whole lot of sense when it comes to shy and innocent characters like I said before. Now onto the criticism part...yes there will be good and bad criticism but the main thing is never let others bring you down because not many people will like your character even when well-developed. I am actually happy you made this guide, amber-sky. C: Keep up the good work on your guides and tips, my dear. ^__^
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:iconpink-ninja-go1234:
Pink-Ninja-go1234 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student General Artist
i really need to start making my own character's my art has so heavily revolved rounded my fandoms, but i can never keep them. i hate to admit it, but if my character isn't getting the response i so desperately crave and i ditch them. how do i make something i'll love enough to ignore my need for appreciation?  
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:iconthe5animator:
The5Animator Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That doesn't help with making original space ships
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:iconkayliecat:
Kayliecat Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2018  New Deviant
I would like an opinion on my OC. It's based on the Warriors fandom, just so you know. I want to know if she's a Mary Sue or not.

Grassnose is a pale ginger tabby she-cat with moss green eyes. She is quick-witted and well known for her bravery and intelligence. Grassnose belongs to BrambleClan. She is very close to her mother, Cloudwing, father, Applecoat, and littermates, Beigeberry, Flutterleaf, and Gustwing. She is happily mated to Juniperclaw. Together they had their kits, Softpetal and Marshfur.
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:iconradiantfreak:
RadiantFreak Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wouldnt that mean its more like a persona ?
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:iconthepathetic0ne:
ThePathetic0ne Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2018  Student Digital Artist
I already had Flora Brandon, the 4Kids Project host, but I am waiting to make one for a 4Kids licensed anime
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:icongarnetkitten05:
GarnetKitten05 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm actually redesigning my OC, so this really helped me. Thank you.
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:iconfoxylena:
Foxylena Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
I believe my OC is a Mary Sue/Bad oc, and now i feel like I should change every single thing about her, should i?
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:iconvannahhere15:
VannahHere15 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2018  Student General Artist
Same :/
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:iconmonsterownage:
monsterownage Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2018  Student General Artist
Very informative, I do have a question. How would you suggest seprating the oc from the artist? Have been running into this problem alot and have made drastic changes to character multiple times.
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:iconbladeraven86:
Bladeraven86 Featured By Owner Edited Jun 1, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for this. It is both informative and inspiring. Additionally, it calls out some very bad habits we see too often in the fan-fiction circles anymore.
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:icondelphoxxxx:
DelphoxXXX Featured By Owner Edited May 23, 2018
okay, so I have an oc, and his name is Mosstuft. His fandom is Warriors, and I wanna know if he's a gary sue :)

Name: Mosstuft
Gender: Tom
Residence: Place Of No Stars
Age: uHHhmmmm DOES iT MaTTeR
Sexuality: Straight
Former Residences: MapleClan
Former Names: Mosskit, Mosspaw
Appearance: White tom with blood stained fur, green eyes
Scars: Many scars crossing his body, one nicked ear, scarred nose, one running along his stomach
Good Traits: Jokester, Never Gives Up
Bad Traits: Often Resorts To Violence, Rude
Mother: Slateheart - Deceased, StarClan
Father: Clouddawn - Deceased, StarClan
Sisters: Ashstone - Deceased, StarClan, Stormpool - Deceased, StarClan
Mates: Sedgefeather - Deceased, StarClan, Rushbreeze - Deceased, StarClan
Kits (Sedgefeather): Mudbrook - Deceased, StarClan, Frostpetal, Deceased, StarClan, Spikefire - Deceased, StarClan
Kits (Rushbreeze): Spottedfoot - Deceased, StarClan, Specklesong - Deceased, StarClan
Education:
Mentor: Russetgorse - Deceased, StarClan
Apprentices: Hickorypelt - Deceased, StarClan, Blossomfang - Deceased, StarClan
Backstory: 
Mosskit was born to Slateheart, a gray she cat with green eyes, and Clouddawn, a white tom with a scarred shoulder and nicked ear with amber eyes. His sisters were Ashkit, a gray she cat with amber eyes and white markings, and Stormpool, a gray she cat with green eyes. Mosskit was a regular kit, he played with his siblings and other kits. 
His best friends were Sedgekit, a brown she cat with yellow eyes and cream speckles, finished with a spiky pelt, and Snookkit, Sedgekit's brother, who was a gray tom with brown and silver marks, and yellow eyes as well. 
On a regular day, Slateheart realized that it was time for Mosskit, Ashkit, and Stormkit to become apprentices. The leader at the time, Whorlstar, a large, muscular tortoiseshell tom with white squiggly marks, made Mosskit and his sisers apprentices. Mosspaw got the mentor Russetgorse, a russet colored tom with cream markings and blue eyes. Ashpaw got the mentor Silverpuddle, a silver tabby tom with black stripes and yellow eyes. And Stormpaw got the mentor Sleekfur, a large calico she cat with sleek fur and amber eyes. 
As Mosspaw got deeper into his training, Sedgekit and Snookkit became apprentices as well. Sedgekit getting the mentor Appleblaze, a darkish brown she cat with black tints and green eyes, and Snookkit getting the mentor Snailheart, a light cream tom with white spots, broad shoulders, and amber eyes, also the current deputy. 
Once Sedgepaw became an apprentice, she would always eat fresh kill with Mosspaw or share tongues with him. Snookpaw got very jealous of Mosspaw and began doing the same thing to Stormpaw. 
Mosspaw did not think too much of this, because he was too busy with Sedgepaw and Russetgorse to really notice. However, a bright, sunny day, when most cats were lying in the clearing, letting their stomach warm up, a strange cat with white fur, a shredded tail, ragged fur, blood stained teeth, and green eyes was padding up to Mosspaw, shadows splattered up against it's pelt. 
The apprentice looked up at the large warrior, a warrior that towered over Mosspaw, and his shadow pouring down onto the other much smaller tom. 
Mosspaw was trembling as the warrior explained who he was and why he was in MapleClan territory. He told Mosspaw that they could train together to make him stronger. Mosspaw agreed, and the two started the lessons.
Mosspaw soon became stronger and stronger, but his personality stayed the same. Sedgepaw became even more gushy, and eventually all the apprentices became warriors, Mosspaw, now Mosstuft, becoming mates with the younger she cat, Sedgefeather. 
She became pregnant, soon having 3 lovely kits, Mudkit, a brown she cat with white tints and green eyes, Frostkit, a white she cat with yellow eyes, and Spikekit, a white and brown she cat with a spiky pelt and green eyes. 
Mosstuft grew stronger and stronger, and eventually ruder and ruder. 
Then, after Mudkit, Frostkit, and Spikekit became apprentices, a rogue attack happened. Cats were scoring their claws through fur, and Mosstuft was fighting a she cat who was black with brown speckles with blue eyes, and she was oddly flattering. 
Sedgefeather died protecting the nursery, but the rogue she cat joined the clan, becoming Rushbreeze, and becoming pregnant with Mosstuft's kits. 
She had kits, just like Sedgefeather, except she had only 2 kits. Specklekit, a white tom with black and brown speckles and green eyes, and Spottedkit, a black tom with white spots and blue eyes. 
Mosstuft had also became the mentor to Hickorypelt, and then Blossomfang, teaching them the horrific Dark Forest moves.
Eventually, Mosstuft was told to kill multiple cats in the clan. He told Roseear, a russet colored she cat with yellow eyes, Shadetail, a dark gray tom with broad shoulders and blue eyes, and Frondshine, a dark brown tom with amber eyes and almost spiky fur to come deep into the forest one at a time, killing them all, as they weren't expecting it. 
However, Snookspot was watching it, and told Whorlstar, the elderly leader about it. He decided to drown Mosstuft, taking a patrol with him down to the Dead Cat's Lake and making sure he didn't try to escape as Redstream, a dark ginger tom with yellow eyes, drowned Mosstuft, watching as light waves crashed into him, dragging him down to the bottom, and bubbles floated up to the surface, signaling the evil cat was now dead. 
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:icontheraizin:
TheRaizin Featured By Owner May 31, 2018  Student Digital Artist
To begin, I would like to formally suggest using spaces. Especially on the backstory, I found it a bit difficult to read it. Now, I'm only answering your question because I was bored and was also reading this journal entry for the sake of enlightening myself. Now onto your oc, First I would like to say that age does matter because we can use the character's age to base the mentality and state of mind of the character. Are they still a child? Are they past puberty? Or are they a fully-grown adult? Also, I don't understand why you put "Scars:" in there when you could've added those to appearance. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of these type of character descriptions. They look too basic and doesn't really elaborate the character. I suggest that you go with a essay-like description. Example:

Yours:
Name: Mosstuft
Appearance: White tom with blood stained fur. green eyes
Scars: Many scars crossing his body, one nicked ear, scarred nose, one running along his stomach
Good Traits: Jokester, Never Gives Up
Bad Traits: Often Resorts To Violence, Rude

Mine: 

His name is Mosstuft, he is a green-eyed, white-furred cat whose color had been washed out by the dried blood around his body along with scars found throughout his body, one such running across his stomach. Obviously, a roughed-up individual. He often jokes around, ignoring whether or not the joke was offensive or not. His rudeness is also nicely complimented by unnecessary resorting to violence when backed against a corner, and persistence.


See that up there? Looks more interesting, no? Your backstory as well isn't sort of a backstory. It looked more of a summary of his past to where he is now. A backstory is more like the character is, their goals, their beginnings, and their resolve/drive to the plot. (If that made any sense.)


A well-made character is often supposed to have the reader relate to the character. Now, I'm not saying that you should make the character as relatable as possible, I'm just saying that the character has to feel real. This Mosstuft has most or, all of everyone close to him deceased. I'm not saying you should change it but this makes the character a Gary sue. He's not perfect but he is extremely imperfect. And by reading his backstory, he was always a jokester and rude all the time? So, did the death of everyone close to him not affect him in any way? It didn't seem like it. Or, I'm probably missing something here.

To finish this, yes, he is a Gary Stu in a sense that he has more flaws than he needs (which is what? Reverse Gary Stu?) which makes him an unbalanced(?) character. 
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:iconthedevilreborn:
TheDevilReborn Featured By Owner May 17, 2018
This is so good. Thank you. :)
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:icondarkestangel98:
darkestangel98 Featured By Owner May 15, 2018  Student General Artist
Hi! Ive been working on a character, not from any particular universe, and I have her background but I'm struggling with personality because the predicament shes in makes it hard for me to think of how she would be if this thing was not happening as its been happening most of her life. 
Her name is Lymiath -Limi for short- shes 10 and a hybrid (which I know you advised against but it has a purpose) between a vampire and a werewolf (super creative i know, sorry). Because of that she is mute and has an unnatural mix of physical characteristics that give her away. She is being hunted down by the coven and the pack for being unnatural, her parents were killed once they were discovered, and she eventually met up with my other character Damien. He ends up taking her with him and being like a big brother. The only time I can think of her being not terrified and on edge/hating herself is when these two find temporary safe places and she can be a kid for once, other than that I'm stumped for personality.
I don't suppose anyone could give me some advice?
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:iconkrowcommisions:
KrowCommisions Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2018  Student General Artist
Tsup!
So, I was reading everything and checking it against my OC, to see if she was ok - which she was - then I got to the 'Background' bit. My character had been through four of the things on the list. However, I checked her timeline, and I thought it was OK, because three of those events stemmed from one major traumatising event in her past, which actually helped to characterise her and another character, and the other event was because of something that wasn't her fault, and actually helps to change her character from a verbally aggressive, socially awkward kid, to a physically aggressive, angry woman.

So, the first event is when her parents died in a car crash (Death of Loved one), which resulted in her being orphaned and taken in by her Aunt, who - because her sister has just died - drinks her problems away. This causes her to be both physically and mentally abusing (Beating and #Other types of Abuse') (Also I'm pulling the reality card and not just making her a shitty fan-fic physical abuser but a reality mental abuser), when eventually Sam has to leave. Some events transpire, and Sam, along with her friends, are kidnapped (Kidnapping), where one of her friends has done something to piss of what is basically a mob bosses' friends, and Sam takes the hits for him, saying that she did it when she was merely a bystander. She takes many physical hits, as well as huge damaging mental blows because of her Nyctophobia and Claustrophobia being affected by being locked in solitary confinement, in a small, dark room (Beating and 'Other types of Abuse'). This causes to mentally scar and change her, and she becomes more mature and physically aggressive. 

So, what do you think? this really helped me!
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:iconmel-chan-eek:
mel-chan-eek Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
I agree, I think my OC is pretty okay, at least to me. Thanks for posting this. I'm not going to yell out ''THIS IS SO DUMB OMG UR SO RUDE IM REPORTING YOU'' just because I'm not creative. This post is great, straight up, and honest.
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:iconastrastars:
AstraStars Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Okay I just need help with knowing if my OC for Undertale might be a Mary Sue, keep in mind that she IS FROM a Sans x Reader that I'm writing(im using her as the reader) so I just want some feedback about her:
Adeline  Skyler Roberts:
Age: 20
Personalty: Shy, Insane(when shes mad), Playful
Boyfriend: Sans(duh)
Appearance: Meif'wa/Neko, Platinum blonde hair down to her hips, electric blue eyes, her cat ears are black and her tail is black with a white tip
Height:5'7
Powers: same as Sans, Shapeshifting
Theme song: Shatter me-Lindsy Stirling
RAGE Song: COPYCAT-Billie Eilish
Pacifist or Genocide?: Pacifist
Clothing: Black P!ATD T-shirt, Ripped jean shorts, Black combat boots
Likes: P!ATD, Pacifists, Pizza, Coka-Cola
Dislikes: Genocide, Ariana Grande(sorry), Pepsi(COKA COLA FTW!)
HATES: Assassins, Chara
Secrets: is Secretly Anorexic, has Deppression
Weight: Anorexic/ 115 Lbs
Theme Song: O.D.D-IDK
RAGE Song: Break My Mind-DA Games

keep in mind she is kinda OP because her weaknesses affect her more than just in battle

Backstory: She had always remembered the Resets, she had cause a few of them too... her childhood was spent in a Government Lab, she was meant to destroy monsters but when they wanted her to go up Mt.Ebott and kill the Monsters she refused, they would torture her for hours on end when she disobeyed them.  One day she had enough of the Pain and torture(she was 16 meaning sans was 17 and paps was 15) and she fought her way out of the Lab, when she  was out she ran all the way to the summit of Mt.Ebott and then whispered"Cats always land on all fours" and jumped, when she was down there she had met first Sans who was(for unknown reasons) guarding the Entrance, he helped her with her broken leg and they got to know eachother, but when she had to fight Asgore, Sans gave up half his power and gave it to her(hence the reason they have the same powers) but it was inevitable that she would fall...she died and then Reset(as resetting runs in her family*cough cough* frisk) but when she reset it back to the Lab, so next time was HER genocide run, she had everyone down except Sans, who she fought next but Sans knew her weaknesses... so in the end she was defeated her last words were: "I'm sorry...Sans" and then the Timeline in my Sans x Reader was the next one

Yeah...sorry if it's REALLY Mark sue-ish but I just need some advice
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:iconprofessorsparkles:
ProfessorSparkles Featured By Owner May 27, 2018  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
I, too, am an Undertale fan.
Before I say anything, I say all of this outside of my opinions on the Sans x reader thing.  This is purely positive, constructive criticism.  Please don't take offense to any of it.
I really like how she is nice and shy until she gets upset (and she's got theme songs!), but I would say to cut the depression part.  I like that she has anorexia, since it adds depth to her personality (that doesn't mean I make light of anorexia).  I would switch up her name a bit.  I like Adeline, that's a lovely name, but, if you want her to be raised in a governmental laboratory, she might not have a middle name, or even a last name.  If you wanna keep them, though, go ahead.  I like her likes and dislikes, they help the reader find connections with them.  I would add a couple other things that she hates besides those two things, since I'm sure anyone who plays the game hates Chara the first time around.
I think you should spend some time thinking about the setting and how you want your plot laid out.  There are a couple of plot gaps, like:
~From what you've said, this is happening after Toriel splits with Asgore, which means that the only people in the ruins are Toriel and any fallen children, meaning Sans probably wouldn't have been there.  
~She would have to be one of the fallen children since this is after Asgore calls for all humans to be captured, and if her soul was taken, Frisk would not have been needed (if that makes sense).
And so you might want to plan the backstory carefully, because if you get that right, you will have a beautiful, entrancing story to tell!
One more thing is that you probably want to create different powers and a slightly different background for her.  I see she is a lot like Sans both in story and abilities.  Opposites attract, and like this article says, she should be a stand-alone character, unique and flawed.  The flaws are what makes the relationship between the main character and the other characters special and interesting.

Again, as a writer, I get that it's difficult to take criticism and change your picture of who you want the character to be.  In that spirit, you can take any of this advice, or none of it.  If you love the character, go for it.  It's your story!
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:iconastrastars:
AstraStars Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
She leaves the ruins after around a week, and I just want you to know that Adeline is OLD like she is my Oldest OC that has recently been replaced by another one named Day... I have stopped posting becuase of this
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:icontheclucklikeachicken:
TheCluckLikeAChicken Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
Very creative but I would like to give some advice. 
The first thing I noticed was that she was a neko. I like nekos a lot but I don't see how that fits in all that well. It's a nice idea but I feel that should have a little more story behind it. Second thing was that she was as strong as Sans. Now the idea of being as powerful as him is kind of Marysuish but I think if you made it perhaps less then half as strong as Sans because he gave her only half, also she is anorexic which would likely make her weaker in general since her body would probably have a hard time containing so much magic. The Theme song and rage song are good. (I'm not sure if you meant to do this but you have two theme songs and rage songs. If it was on purpose I would recommend putting them together such as Theme song(s) : Shatter me - Lindsy Stirling and, O.D.D - ?. Likes and Dislikes are alright but I don't think Ariana Grande, P!ATD, Coca-Cola, and Pepsi are in the world. I would personally maybe changing the names slightly as to make parody drinks. Clothing wise, I thought it was good but if she is trying to hide the fact she is Anorexic it wouldn't be very wise to wear a t-shirt since her arms would likely be thin as well. A sweater would be a better choice. Onto the backstory. As for that I mentioned mostly what I thought would need to be fixed but there is two things I suggest. In the genocide run if she has feelings for Sans in that run then I would suggest perhaps a part of her disliking the idea of killing Papyrus and knowing Sans would despise her for it. The second thing was to make sure you take the relationship between the two slowly. If you go too fast it will feel forced and people might not like that.

I hope I wasn't too harsh and that I could help :) 

~Little Bit/TheCluckLikeAChicken
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:iconastrastars:
AstraStars Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! I'll re-post in a bit with the new version!
Reply
:icontheclucklikeachicken:
TheCluckLikeAChicken Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
k
Reply
:iconastrastars:
AstraStars Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
also my name isn't Adeline I promise!
Reply
:iconhollywoodman1138:
HollywoodMan1138 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, I'm working on an O.C. myself, but two questions came to mind:
1.) When naming your O.C., you don't name it after yourself...is that a suggestion or a rule?  Also, could I use my first name as another part of my O.C.'s name (either middle name or surname)?

2.) Can I describe my O.C. a bit of myself (in terms of physical appearance, mannerisms, quirks, etc.)
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:icontheclucklikeachicken:
TheCluckLikeAChicken Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
Sorry if this has already been answered but I would like to help you out. Naming a character after yourself is a suggestion. The reason why they don't recommend it is so it doesn't seem like a self insert. For the second part. Of course! Every character is based on the creator in some way or another but if you make them exactly like you it may limit your creativity. I hope I could help :)
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:iconhollywoodman1138:
HollywoodMan1138 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Alright. Thank you for your imput.
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:icontheclucklikeachicken:
TheCluckLikeAChicken Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconhollywoodman1138:
HollywoodMan1138 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Also, could I use my name as a surname (my real name is Matthew—but I go by M. W., so I’m thought of using Matthews. Is this OK to use or no? If not, can you make other suggestions.

My O.C.’s first name, BTW, is Arcade.
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:icontheclucklikeachicken:
TheCluckLikeAChicken Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
Yeah that's alright :)
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:iconhollywoodman1138:
HollywoodMan1138 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Cool. Thank you again.
Reply
:icontheclucklikeachicken:
TheCluckLikeAChicken Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:icongalaxiekitten:
GalaxieKitten Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2018  Student Digital Artist
This is old but
How do you think i should go about creating a character that's kind of sociopathic?
He has no morality, and has kind of a,, curse? in a way? I'm not sure how to put it but
He can share his body/mind with spirits and he has lost half a soul. (I could change the soul part though)
TL;DR how do i go about a manipulative sociopathic characters backstory?
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:iconastrastars:
AstraStars Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Oh I have an idea! amybe he was experimented on and it slowley drove him insane, just an idea BTW
Reply
:icongalaxiekitten:
GalaxieKitten Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2018  Student Digital Artist
Hmm, yeah, i thought about that but i feel like i've seen it before a lot-
but thanks for the idea though!! ^^
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:iconmel-lawliet:
Mel-Lawliet Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe you can explain why he became sociopathic. Or, if he was born that way, explain how his personality affected his relationships with friends, family, and enemies.
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:icongalaxiekitten:
GalaxieKitten Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2018  Student Digital Artist
Yeah!- I'd love to- but I'm really afraid of him becoming an anti-sue, since , id imagine you'd have to go some real shitty stuff to be sociopathic, but i feel like it'll come off as really anti-sue ;;
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:icontrial-of-the-dragon:
Trial-Of-The-Dragon Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2018
I don't worry too much about names, I have several OCs with semi-made up or just odd names who aren't in a sci-fi/fantasy setting, I think you should name your OCs what feels right and don't worry about what other people think. It is true that you should have SOME restraint since things can get ridiculous in a hurry if you don't. Perhaps this was just my own personal experience though, that I have well liked characters with names that are a bit odd. Anyway, excellent guide here ^^
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:iconpupile:
Pupile Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2018  Student Digital Artist
Thanks. Also yes, you should give an example with Marise.
Reply
:iconaliham:
AliHam Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2018
i have an oc that's a witch named Aubrey. She's a very happy-go-lucky character who thinks she's happy. She runs away from her problems and whenever she does have to face them, she somehow manages twists those problems into something positive and she is also constantly trying to look at her problems at a funny angle for example: person: Aubrey, you look so ugly that if you were to look at a mirror, it will keep cracking every time you stare at it. Aubrey: Wow, that's cool, but that's also sad, because will you also crack every time I stare at you? After all your face breaks pretty easily. 
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:iconbunbunpo:
Bunbunpo Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2018
Thanks. I don't agree with EVERYTHING you said but a lot of it. So happy I'm not the only one who hates the Mary Sue thing. It will help me make my character. Also like another guy said I thought of some of the things you mentioned so that gave me confidence. Thanks for taking the time to write this.
Reply
:iconkarinawithheadphones:
KarinaWithHeadphones Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2018  Student Digital Artist
Hey, there! Random question...

So, my character's name is part of mine, but at the time I didn't realize it when I named her (Her name is Rin, which is Japanese, but she was named after one of her mother's friends. I kind of want to change her name to Yui.), and she was abandoned and adopted. Because of this, she dislikes adults and has slight anger issues and major trust issues.

Is my character technically a Mary Sue?

Sorry if this is annoying...
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:iconchaolamity:
Chaolamity Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2018
To my mind, there's no harm in giving your character a harsh backstory. While it isn't the average person's reality, it does occur where someone experiences something tragic and ends up traumatized because of it. It would probably be a different story if all of your characters had a harsh backstory - unless this is what makes sense in your universe.

Yui doesn't sound unrealistic to me. My feedback is: are her trust issues stemming from being left by her family and distrusting her new one? Or does she distrust everyone? 
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:iconkarinawithheadphones:
KarinaWithHeadphones Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2018  Student Digital Artist
She is learning to trust her new family, but she doesn't fully trust them yet.
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:iconchaolamity:
Chaolamity Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2018
That's definitely some conflict your character can overcome. It's understandable why she would feel that way.
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:iconkarinawithheadphones:
KarinaWithHeadphones Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2018  Student Digital Artist
Yeah. =)
Reply
:iconnikkimatsuyuki7:
NikkiMatsuyuki7 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2017  Student
Awesome! 
So I have this OC I named Nicola Jamie Matsuyuki, 'Nikki' for short. That is NOT my real name, or even close to it. She is basically my opposite besides the tomboyish personality and her hype for cheese. She has a boyfriend Brandon (OC) and a little brother Marcus, based off of my own little brother (not too much, just a few traits). She has superpowers that run in the family, like super-strength, flight and super-speed. She also has the power of shooting fire out of her hands (she's kinda based on WordGirl, my favorite superhero). She's also a race plane (literally). 
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:iconhybrid-15:
Hybrid-15 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So, my OC's name is Rose Woods but only part of my first name is Rose, does that count as using my name? or not since it's only half of my actual name?
Reply
:iconmelonzii-woof:
Melonzii-Woof Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think that's fine!
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