selfishits 3 amand i can't sleep againgot me on my mindcos as much as id like to say it's youi'm too selfish for thatwe both know its true thatit's never someone elsebut only how you relate to themall comes back to me in the endso while it's 3 amand i've nothing againbut fragmentsof conversation,and smaller chips ofwould bepoetryits all i left mewhen i let go into you
if i couldplaying "what if"&"i take it back"playing "im sorry"& unlimited forgivenessplaying wishes & shooting starsempty nights & empty eyesand a glass half full of tears
this is not a love letterthis is not a love letteronly words containing lettersof love in love with lovebecause i think you should knowthat the sound of you turns my insides outmakes be breathe carefullywith wishes balanced on my tonguepiled uncertainly, and a wrong spoken word could send themtumblingthe sound of you is all i knowall ive ever metexcept for that brief impersonal moment of touchits the sound of you that haunts my thoughtsthat gets played out in my dreamsexcept that i stopped dreamingwhen it got too dangerous
take meim waking and shaking and achingstill shedding filaments of a changing soulim tearing myself open to let the light inbut the light is cold, and it burns against my newly formedand still unsteady heartit bites and i can't breathenever knew metamorphosis felt like thisnever knew that you could feel each stretch and pullof new tissue surrounding your new selfnever knew that even breath would feel different on your skinor that the bones of your old self would keep poking throughsharp as memories and smoothforgotten temptationand theseempty spaces where you just don't knowi cover myself from the lightand all the unsavory truths it holdspull up the shroud of sleep and close my eyesto the thin places where i cant escapei hitch it around meand prayfor quietsleepingoblivionnothingi know when i wake ill havereconstructedenough to make it a little furthermaybe, maybeenough to make it home.
dont thinkand i'm thinking we moved to fast at standing stillthinking i shouldn't have answered your questionthinking i shouldn't have even let you ask itthinkingthis has the feeling of the inevitable.the inevitable fuckupthat is.like its just asking for troublebut i'm caught now in the web of agreementsaid yes so its foregone conclusion ill say it againand i will, you know i will, i know i willremember now (don't know how i forgot, must have been the way your hands...........) why i like to keep things silent.keep things quiet.keep things under wrapskeep my silence, mouth shut.cos now everyones expecting big thingstheir expecting this to mean something......their expecting this to lastohholygodtheythinkimseriousthey don't know their righti am seriousseriously mad that isthough maybe not as madas youfor thinking i'm sane enoughhere enough, real enough, alive enoughto ever measure upto what your gonna needcos maybe i know that better than youthat what you want is not
assumptionsdon't love the me of your predictionsyou'd have to love the me of contradictionscos i could never live up to anyones illusionsnow don't draw the wrong conclusioni don't mind a little confusionbut when your looking and youdon't see the methat ive set freethen honey your walking blindand blind i never want to bethese questionsid rather ask the hard ones nowi'm open to suggestionsalways happy to hear correctionsbut how?when im closed to your languageand i only speak in silenceor protracted pausesor despair.
breathingsighim just breathingbreathing..... justjust breathingbreathing
from one sideand i know what i wasopen arms and easy kissesa port in stormsafety and calm watertill you could brave the seas of yourselfagain.i know what i wasthe right time, and the right placea giver when you were hollowa fountain when you'd run drybut i was not endlessi am not endless& we started to endwhen i endedwe started to slipwhen i felland we were quietwhen my well ran dryand i hadn't learned your language yetand i knowi knowthat i could never have given youwhat you neededi know i could never have filled myselfin your armswe could meetonlyin the mutual desirefor closenessthe mutual desire to be lovedthe mutual desireof ustill we stumbled on the unsavory scentof my questionsour fingers fumbled togetherdesperately, fleetinglyover your responseand they slipped, our fingersand left us standingon either side of what we knew was realand while i can see this for what it wasand know we are bothtoo much,know we are bothnot enoughi know no other way,tha
oh fatheroh fatherit's time to say what i wanted to sayperhaps there's a waythrough these thoughts that flaythe cover off my mind like theskin from my back, would you be so kindto take me off this thin white linewhere on one side every things fineon the other every thought is a minethat explodes when it's touched with wordsthat i heardcreeping across the floorunder the doorand showing the truth no one would speakyou're leaving next weekor next month or next yearwhen doesn't matter but your leaving us herealone on the ocean of fearof not being, of not being enoughoh the parting is roughand i go through the gateand up the path of hatingher for doing thisa friend ill misswhen i fall from this ledgeyes fall over the edgeand into the depth of a pledgeof hating so deepthat the wounds it'll cause never weepbut pour tears like bloodto mix with the dirt of betrayal to mudso thick it would drown methis hate it cant crown meor cut her any deeperrage becomes my keeperso a
thankyou!