You glanced at yourself in the mirror. You were wearing the olive green American military uniform Ludwig's boss had stolen from Alfred's base camp. It was a little big on you but nothing a few alterations can't fix! After making a couple adjustments here and there, you buttoned up your top, picked up your matching helmet, and exited the tent.
Around the same time, Ludwig and Gilbert walked out of their tents wearing the same uniform as you. Unlike you and Ludwig, Gilbert had a bomber jacket thrown over his disguise. "Check it out Frau!" Gilbert propped a leg onto a nearby crate and gave you one of his showstopper diplomatic poses. "Do I look American yet? Kesesese!"
Gosh dammit, he didn't look American but he looked hella hot.
You continued to stare at him with your mouth agape in awe at the fine gift the heavens had bestowed upon you while Ludwig folded him arms, unamused. "You look suspicious."
"What? But I have the bomber jacket, the laugh, and everything!"
You took off your helmet and stood on your tiptoes to place it onto the Prussian's head, "Keep your hair covered and you'll fit right in."
After reviewing the plan, the three of you hopped into the jeep and drove off to infiltrate Alfred's camp. You and the two brothers parked the jeep a good couple of feet away from the site and crouched behind a nearby bush. American soldiers patrolled the area and so far, Alfred was nowhere to be seen. "We can go in through the back over there," You whispered, pointing towards a large tent. "There aren't many soldiers there."
Ludwig nodded, "Okay, let's make our way there qui-"
"Why are we going to sneak back there? " Gilbert arched an eyebrow. "We're wearing their uniform so we might as well just waltz right in."
Ludwig sighed, "It's a precaution -- Wait -- Where are you -- Gilbert get back h -- You dummkopf!! Get your arse back down here right now!"
"YOLO!" Gilbert cheered as he hopped out of the bush and ran right into the campsite.
You deadpanned, "Did he just say yolo?"
Ludwig gaped at his brother, "Stick to the plan!"
"Ugh, w-wait! Gilbert!" You shouted as you dashed after the Prussian.
Ludwig dragged a palm down his face and groaned in frustration, "Correction: These two dummkopfs. They're worse than Feliciano." He took in a deep breath and made a mad dash towards your retreating forms, "Get back here you two!"
Luckily, screaming and chasing each other was considered a normal thing in Alfred's base camp. The three of you fitted in oddly well, much to Ludwig's surprise. Your American accent was perfect, Ludwig's bulky figure made him fit right in, and Gilbert had his bomber jacket and helmet so all was well.
Gilbert dashed into a tent with you and Ludwig following after. "Gilbert you idiot!" You panted, hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath. "Don't just run into the enemy's camp like that!"
"(Name's) right. We have to stick to the plan!" Ludwig crossed his arms and gave you a stern look, "And you shouldn't have followed his example."
"But in the end, you ended up doing the same thing Lud~" Gilbert chuckled as he hooked an arm around his brother playfully.
Ludwig frowned and swatted his arm away, "Ja, ja, let's just focus back on the mission."
After you managed to catch your breath, you straightened your posture and glanced around the makeshift room. The place was quite large, but it smelled a bit damp and dusty. There were a bunch of crates, books, artillery, and precious metals littered all over the place.
"Looks like we're in the supply room." You muttered, observing the area.
"Let's look around," Ludwig ordered. "There might be some useful information around here."
You lifted the lid of a crate open and coughed as a large amount of dust flew into the air around you. You waved your hand to dispel the dust cloud before rummaging through the wooden crate's contents. So far, most of the boxes you've investigated were filled with nothing but the usual - clothes, weapons, medicine, and food.
Ludwig rummaged through a large trough in the back of the room, "Iron…iron...iron…and steel? In a place like this?"
Gilbert's eyes glazed over the trough's possessions until something caught his eye. "Oooh!" He exclaimed, picking up a magazine. He waved his brother over, eyes never leaving the cover. "Lud, check this out! So they bring in things like this too? Awesome, found the jackpot!!"
Ludwig placed the scrap of steel he was observing back into the trough before walking towards the Prussian. As soon as he laid eyes on the magazine, he flinched back in surprise, "W-Why are you looking at something like that?!"
Gilbert's smile widened as he flipped through the pages. With a mischievous smirk, he flashed the playboy magazine over at the German, "Kesesesese! Feast your eyes on this!"
Gilbert's laughs grew louder as Ludwig stared at the picture in a trance before blushing madly in embarrassment, "Don't do things that isn't part of our mission!! Now put it back this instant!"
Being the curious young woman you were, you shoved a chocolate bar you found earlier into your pocket and walked over to the two young men. They were absolutely captivated with whatever they were looking at so you thought that they must have found an important document. Maybe they found the Allies' battle plans!
Oh but how wrong you were.
You peeked over Gilbert's shoulder to see images of bodacious and scantily dressed women, not juicy information on the Allies.
"......What in the world are you two looking at?"
Ludwig jumped in surprise, a blush rising to his cheeks whereas Gilbert just looked at you with that smug smile of his. "I-It's err, uh..." Ludwig broke out in a nervous sweat as he struggled to find the right words to your question.
"Well?" You crossed your arms, tapping your foot at them expectantly. While Ludwig was racking his brains for a reasonable answer, Gilbert kept glancing between you and the magazine. As soon as you realized what he was doing, your face erupted in the same hue of red as his eye color. Instinctively, you held your arms towards your chest and inched away from him in disgust, "Wha -- Why are you looking at me like that Gilbert?!"
"Oh, it's just..." He flipped the magazine around so that the image was facing towards you. He pointed to a sexy woman dressed in nothing but a deep green military top that was way too short, an officer's cap that looked awfully similar to the one that you had, and a leather whip in her gloved hands. "Can you do this when we get back to camp?"
You didn't know if you should be flattered or if you should chop off those five meters he was so proud of. Ludwig quickly turned around to hide his nosebleed. You glared at Gilbert, hands clenched and a furious blush on your face, "G-Gilbert! I'm going to k--"
"And don't worry, you can use my Prussian blue uniform~" He gave you a wink and a seductive smirk. You swore that you could die of embarrassment and hotness overload right about now.
Meanwhile, Ludwig looked like he could die of blood loss.
Before you had the chance to cave Gilbert's handsome face in with your fist, the sound of footsteps and loud chatter surrounded the entrance of the tent. You froze, luckily Ludwig snapped out of his pervy daydream.
You glanced around the room frantically, "Wait what?! Where should I --"
"Over here!" Before you knew it, Gilbert had grabbed your arm and pulled you into the crate of dirty magazines and random American junk. He poked his head out to give his brother a thumbs up, "Ludwig, I'll leave the rest to you!"
"To me?!" Ludwig panicked, glancing at the tent's entrance.
"With my handsome looks and awesome hair, they'll figure me out right away!"
"Idiot, that's why I told you not to lose the helmet! And is now the time to be concei --" You gasped. "Oh! I think he's coming! Gilbert, keep your head down!"
You shoved Gilbert's head down just in time and on cue, an American soldier with wavy, slicked back blond hair and blue eyes came walking into the room. He glanced around the area, "Weird, I thought I heard voices here…Are you by yourself?"
Although Ludwig was internally panicking, he replied in the calmest tone he could muster. "Y-yeah, I was just…talking to myself."
You and Gilbert made sure to stay low and hidden from sight. As the conversation carried on, you glared at Gilbert accusingly, "This is because you were having so much fun with the playboy magazine earlier."
"Hey! You're always oogling at the guys in Kiku's manga too," Gilbert whispered, causing a blush to rise to your cheeks.
"For your information, they're fictional so there's really no harm in staring!"
He snickered, lifting up two fingers for emphasis, "'Fictional.' That's even worse (Name). That's not a very healthy habit."
You mentally cursed yourself for inflicting the wound onto yourself. You dramatically buried your face into your hands to silently cry your otaku heart out, "Yeah I know, shut up!"
The American stroked his chin as he squinted his eyes at Ludwig suspiciously, "Hey, I've never seen you before…And you don't look American either." His eyes widened in surprise, "Don't tell me you're --"
You and Gilbert exchanged a look of horror. If your covers were blown now, this would mean bad news for the Axis Powers! Your hand rested on the small bottle of smokescreen in your pocket. If the worst were to happen, you were going to intervene so that the three of you could escape before word got out. You waited for Gilbert's signal.
"On the count of drei," He mouthed.
You were just about ready to screw the cap off until an obnoxious and painfully awkward laugh filled the room. You whipped your head around to gape at Gilbert, "Was that you?"
Gilbert's expression was just as stunned as yours were, "Nein. Don't tell me that's --"
He never got the chance to finish his sentence as Ludwig started speaking in possibly the worst American accent ever known to man. "HAHAHAHA!" The German cackled. "What are you talking about? I love hamburgers and freedom! Of course I'm American! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
You could've shitted your pants out of how hilarious Ludwig sounded right now. Not to mention that he just screamed about loving hamburgers as if that proved anything. Gilbert slapped a hand onto his mouth to stifle his laughter. His face was turning red and tears prickled your eyes as you held onto your tummy.
"Oh god, I can't -- " You bit your tongue, desperately trying to stop yourself from laughing out loud.
Unfortunately, Gilbert couldn't contain his snicker. "This is hilarious! Kesesese -- Mmpfghhh!"
Discreetly, Ludwig shoved a hand into the trough and clamped it onto the Prussian's head to stop him from ruining his chance. And hallelujah, it worked! But little did the German know that he wasn't only crushing his brother's head, but he was shoving Gilbert's mouth onto yours.
Your eyes widened in surprise as a furious blush dusted your cheeks. Gilbert was kissing you!
Gilbert Beilschmidt was kissing you!
Great Gilbird, call the medics! Gilbert was kissing you!
Your eyes met his shocked ruby eyes. He smirked against your lips and before you knew it, his hand rested on the back of your head, deepening the kiss. Should you slap him? Should you push him away? Should you kick him in the land where his five meters dwelled? You didn't know but it felt so good yet so wrong!
You let out a muffled scream and attempted to push the Prussian away but the nosier you were, the more Ludwig shoved his older brother's face onto yours. And man was Gilbert taking advantage of the situation. The albino grabbed your hands to stop you from struggling and before you knew it, you fell into the kiss.
And damn was he a good kisser.
The soldier's tense frown was quickly replaced by a smile, "Oh you're right! Yeah, I can tell you're totally American." He gave Ludwig a wave as he headed towards the exit, "You should start heading to the mess hall. Dinner is going to start soon."
Ludwig relaxed his shoulders as he let out a sigh of relief, "Y-Yeah, thank you. HAHAHA…haha…haa…" Ludwig covered his face in utter embarrassment, "I am never doing that again."
His released his grip on Gilbert's head and at that moment, the Prussian pulled away from the intense make out session. You were still in a daze as Gilbert hopped out of the trough. "Mein Gott, don't be ridiculous Ludwig!" Letting out his contagious signature laugh, he patted the German on the shoulder humorously. You quickly snapped out of your daze, a mad blush covering your cheeks as the tips of your ears. Your heart was pounding and it felt like your bones suddenly turned to jelly, causing you to stumble awkwardly out of the trough. Without his brother noticing, Gilbert glanced over his shoulder to give you a devious grin as he wiped away a bit of saliva from corner of his mouth with his sleeve,
"We really should do this more often~"