Trick or Treat MY ASS!

he night was chilly, the street quiet, until a pack of costumed kids came skipping down the sidewalk. Skeletons, witches, ghosts, and a little pumpkin bucket brigade, all giggling and yelling “Trick or treat!”

Vesper stood at a vending machine, half-asleep, slapping the buttons with her palm.
Vesper: “C’mon, ya stupid hunk o’ metal! Gimme my soda or I’ll gas ya to death…”

The machine buzzed, beeped, and clunk! a can rolled down. She smirked, cracked it open, and took a sip. That’s when she heard it.

Kids (in chorus): “Trick or treeeaat!”

She turned slowly, one eyebrow raised, red eyes glowing faintly under the flickering streetlight.
Vesper: “The hell d’you brats want? Candy? Do I look like your damn grandma?”

The littlest witch stepped forward timidly.
Witch girl: “It’s Halloween… you’re supposed to give us candy…”

Vesper burped loudly, leaned against the vending machine, and grinned wickedly.
Vesper: “Candy, huh? You want somethin’ sweet?”

The kids nodded eagerly, holding out their bags. Vesper’s grin widened into a devilish sneer.
Vesper: “Well, sweethearts… I got a special treat for ya.”

She turned around dramatically, cracking her knuckles. The kids froze. The air seemed to thicken.
Skeleton boy: “Uh… ma’am? What are you-”

Vesper (yelling): “TRICK OR TREAT… MY ASS!!!”

A deafening BRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPT! exploded through the night, like a jet engine made of doom. A green cloud rolled out, thick as fog. Candy buckets hit the ground. The witch’s hat flew off. One ghost tripped over his own sheet and tumbled into the grass.

Pumpkin kid (coughing): “It smells like, like rotten eggs and old cheese!!”

Vesper (laughing maniacally): “That’s my signature blend, baby! Eau de Doom!”

As the kids fled in horror, gagging and shrieking, Vesper picked up their dropped candy bags with a satisfied smirk.
Vesper: “Heh. Free snacks and peace n’ quiet. Halloween ain’t so bad after all.”

She cracked open another soda, leaned back against the vending machine, and sighed contentedly as the green mist slowly faded under the moonlight.

Vesper: “Next kid who yells ‘trick or treat’... gets the deluxe edition.”

The faint echo of terrified children drifted through the night, while Vesper crunched on a chocolate bar and smiled to herself.

(By the way, the stupid of Vesper forgot to make a hole on her new pants, that's why we don't see her tail)