As I Stand ByI can't bear all the screams, and I drown in my tears,My memories are haunted by all of my fears,You don't know how much pain I have been enduring,I can't take much more, this fact, I'm ensuring.Unable to trust, and most hesitant to love,Formally as pure and innocent as a dove.My thoughts, they're focused on what is above;Past experiences: they're too hard for me to speak of.My father's pitiful screams, my mother's helpless cry:Forever etched in my mind, my life--going awry.Sometimes I feel as if on no one I can rely,Each second, I fall apart, and this, I can't deny.
Insomnia.Sleepless nights turn into sorrowful daysWhere all I do is think endless thoughtsFor night after night, sunrise to sunsetThe absence of emotion often turns into angstHopelessness fills my mind and takes overOr perhaps, that is called despairMy mind seems to wander for hours aimlesslyWithout a clue of where to begin or endI sit alone, wondering where everyone has goneI look in the mirror, wondering what has come of meI'm a stranger in my eyes, turning into a beast,A monster lurking in the shadows of the night.Unable to sleep...Unable to dream.
Sex.I lied.This isn't about love-making.Or anything irrational.This is about you...About us.About how you're my first thought waking up...And my last before escaping into a deep, dark abyss called sleep.This isn't about sex.Or anything related to that.This is about my heart, intertwined with yours.Our hearts, as one...About the butterflies you give me every time you say a single vowel,And when i'm with you, the logic just d i s a p p e a r s.
Keep it all InsideI can't face this alone, or I'll drown in my tears.It's a feeling I've felt for so many years.I know I've told you the feeling went away,But the pain is still raw, until this very day.I can see the pain you store in your heart.You try to hide it, but I've known from the start.You hurt, you cry. And your life: you wish to end.For reasons that I cannot comprehend. I feel despair, regret, and numb beyond belief.All I want to do is breakdown, and have a little relief.Relief from the screaming in my head, the remorseful, horrible dreams.My mask hides the real me, nothing's as good as it seems. I try to get you to open up, try to help you out.Be true to your heart, please get rid of your pout.It kills me to see you smile without it reaching your eyes,Because I know that deep inside, you want someone to hear your cries.
EscapeEvery day, I die a little more inside;My soul, yearning to escape, my emotions, I try to hide.I only want to shield you; hide you from the pain I feel;But in reality, it's no use; it's not the best way to deal.It's not that I don't want you to know, or that I question your trust.It's just that all my sorrows are becoming way too much.I don't usually speak my mind or even think things through.But at the end of every day, I'm thinking about you.I'm sorry for all the times that I have lied straight to your face,The truth is, no, I'm not okay, my memories, I'd like to erase.Maybe one day, I'll be at peace, and share the reason for my sadness.But until then, I'll let my mind escape into the blackness.
If I were a guy...
<---- ;3 Just sayin'.
I envy your beauty.
You deserve the compliments.
Very Nice pose, Camera, Etc.
really, though... a pleasure!
And aw, thanks so much!