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I went to the vets today with my Stripey monster. Things aren't good. He's got several little masses on his liver, nothing in any solid mass, just little nodules, and they're pushing on his stomach as well as making his liver go out of whack. It's going to eventually kill him.
I can't afford to give him an ultra-sound to pinpoint anything and even if I did, there's no saying if they could actually do anything to correct it. If I had unlimited resources they'd be going to Dr. LeHaye to make sure my baby comes home healthy.
Cancer of the liver, and I don't know how long he's going to be with me. I'm stuck with making the hardest goddamn decision I've ever had to make. Do I keep him with me knowing he's going to deteriorate? There's no pain involved and I know I could keep him happy with canned catfood, snuggles and make sure he's warm and safe when the time comes. Or do I let him go and put him down?  He's going to deteriorate. I know that. Do I want to spare him that or do I want to keep him with me to the last possible second.
I think I'm going to have to keep him with me. I can make his last weeks, days, hours however long he has good ones.
I don't know. It's just killing me inside, I guess. I have to decide whether my furry four-legged soul-baby is going to live or die.
God life sucks.
  • Listening to: Ben's Brother- Stuttering
  • Reading: World of Warcraft Archive
  • Watching: the clock
  • Playing: WoW
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: water
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:iconk-red:
K-Red Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2008
...aw crap. Not food allergy. Goddamnit, that blows...
Let me try to be consoling...

He needs you. That kind of emotional support has caused miraculous things to happen to animals, and even some people. If he has given you so much love over the years, then he knows how much you love him. If he's comfortable, and that's what he has, then that's all he needs. Remember that if he does go, then you tried your best. Crying over him is acceptable; someone should care, someone should be upset. But keep in mind that your encouragement can sometimes keep him alive and comfortable for maybe years.

Let's hope you have that touch.
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:iconcorvidus:
corvidus Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2008
O_o I need to find a time when you're online and not away and TALK To you.
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:iconbellanoche8709:
bellanoche8709 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2008
=( I love Stripey and I was only around him for a fraction of the time that you were. That's how cool he is. I think it's unfair that humans outlive animals - I feel like we need them so much more than they need us sometimes.

I really do know where you're coming from here though. My cat was one of my best friends and when I came back from school a year ago and she wasn't showing up for her food, I automatically felt guilty about being away at all. She never came back and I miss her. We don't know what happened to her but she was old like Stripey. It made me wish I hadn't have gone to school so far away so I could have spent more time with her.

There's no right answer to questions like this but if I was a cat, I'd rather be loved, cuddled, and spoiled right until the very last moment at home rather than be brought to the vet and given a shot. I think that animals know when they are going to die, they have to. Otherwise, why would they run away when they feel threatened? They understand what death and pain is because they fear it. I don't think it's greedy of you to want to spend more time with Stripey. I think he'd want to spend more time with you too. =) Be together and ease each other's pain.
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:icondraw6bd:
DrAw6BD Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2008
I am so sorry. I hate when animals get sick. Be with your cat as long as possible, make him happy, and let him make you happy. Euthanisizing things is a concept not know in the animal kingdom, they die when they're ready not when we say they should. Take care June, and I hope you feel better.
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:iconjelliclekitten:
JellicleKitten Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh, June, I'm sorry...

I would say to keep him with you as long as possible, but put him down if he starts to get really bad really quick. In the meantime, savor every moment with him.

I'll keep you both in my thoughts, and I'm hoping for the best.
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:iconsuricata5:
suricata5 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2008
Don't think about it too much - be grateful she's an animal and therefore unaware of her own illness, of her own passing. She will live content until her final moment and being in your loving hands, she couldn't be anywhere else. Whatever decision you do make, keep in mind how she sees the world and not how we see the world. To her death is just a natural movement, unlike humans who fear death and avoid it at all costs.

And know my family and I are here for you always.
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January 25, 2008
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