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"I'm pretty sure that I'm in denial,
That you won't be there when I walk down the aisle.
It's only been a month or two,
And I still think of calling you.
This whole situation is very traumatic,
Worsens thoughts that were already erratic.
I still think about you every day,
About how things aren't supposed to be this way.
You just missed my birthday, I turned thirty,
And I can promise, I guarantee,
That everyone who ever met you,
Is still in pain and mourning too.
Everything has changed, the outcomes and the endings.
Now all of our hearts need mending.
I don't know how to handle this,
I don't know how to follow my bliss.
I don't want to move on,
And I'll sing every sad song.
I wish I could have taken your pain,
I wish it wasn't you to blame.
I'll carry your memory and keep it alive,
I'll try to re-light my fire inside.
For you, I will try, I hope you know you are missed,
I hope you hear these words and watch over us, Love, your little sis."
-Alisa Danielle
More letters to my brother, who passed away in September. It breaks my heart to tell you that the cause of his death was suicide. :(
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BrankaArts Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh, Alisa. My heart is breaking for you :tighthug:
AliDee33 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for you hugs and love, Branka! :heart: :tighthug:
BrankaArts Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Always welcome, Hun :love:
Lilyas Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2018  Professional General Artist
Thank you for sharing your heart here at this moment, dear Alisa! It's very hard to accept that a beloved one has gone this way. It's very tragic! :sad:  I don't know what to say.
May your brother rest in peace! Pixel Rose Bullet - Black small heart - black  I am here for you always! Sad hug emote 
AliDee33 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for your kind and heartfelt feedback, Lily! :heart:
It is a very difficult and tragic loss, yes, I think it's the hardest thing I have ever endured.
I'm trying to stay strong when needed, and allow myself to break down when necessary as well.
It's okay to not know what to say, there really is no right thing, what you said is perfect,
thank you for supporting me and being there for my, my dear friend :tighthug:
Lilyas Featured By Owner Edited Nov 6, 2018  Professional General Artist
You are most welcome, my dear friend! :heart: Whenever you need to talk or need comfort I will be there listening and giving you my attention and empathy. It left me confused to hear that you brother took his own life. He must have been suffering a lot to come to such a final decision. I hope you will overcome this traumatic experience one day. I know you can make it. I've got my fingers crossed.
Lots of love and compassion to you and your family! Huggle 
AliDee33 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you again, my loving friend! :heart:
I was in shock for a long period of time after hearing the news.
I knew he had his struggles, but he kept a lot of his pain private.
He was the best, let me tell you though, he was every one's favorite!
He knew how to have a good time, and make you laugh no matter your mood,
and he was the wittiest person I've ever known. I have so many fond memories.
I know he wouldn't want us to be sad for too long, although this is a life long heartache.
Time heals all, sometimes it takes a lot of time. But we'll get there.
Thank you for being there for me during a dark time, Lily, and for believing in me.
It truly means the world to me. 
Huggle by yarjor
Lilyas Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2018  Professional General Artist
It's good to remember all the good things, this way you can lift yourself up. Hee has left a void that can never be filled because he was unique and one of a kind. But please don't let it be a lifelong heartache. You heart can heal from all wounds, just let it happen! If you open and fully connect to your heart again and release the pain there will emerge free space that will almost automatically be filled with LOVE. That is my experience.

I'll keep you in my thoughts, Alisa! :hug:
AliDee33 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
You are right, Lily, and thank you for your optimistic outlook :)
It can be hard to remember during stressful periods.
And it feels almost impossible (at this time) to release that pain..
But all in good time, things will fall into place,
and I will heal and grow stronger in the process.
Thank you, again, for your thoughts and love! :hug:
Lilyas Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2018  Professional General Artist
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November 4, 2018
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