Every Day I Find a Way04092018
"I still wake up crying.
Sometimes I still feel like I'm dying.
Now years have gone by already,
I'm still not completely steady.
The time went by so slow,
Like trying to watch a flower grow.
At the same time, slipped by fast.
Oh, how long will this pain last?
I wish I could be more over it,
I wish these thoughts would just stop and quit.
Triggers flood my mind with memories,
Of when you put my life in jeopardy.
I do my best every day.
Yes, every day I find a way.
To get out and express,
All this inside me, all of this mess.
I gaze into what I have created,
To my subconscious it's directly related.
I learn more about myself and what I need to do,
To get back to my happiness, that is so pure and true.
I'm not completely over it, sometimes I do suppress.
But I have come so far and am proud of my progress."
Dear Annie- I Still Miss You04082018
"Dear Annie, I still miss you.
I pray you visit me, I hope you do.
I wanted to write you another letter,
Let you know I've been feeling better.
Some time has passed,
Since I wrote you last.
I'm still a roller coaster,
But making progress and growing closer,
To mending me back together, whole.
Healing my mind, body, and soul.
Writing this, I'm getting chills,
As feelings are instilled,
That you're here with me, hugging me tight.
I feel your warmth like a bright light.
I know that you're proud of me,
Although your face I have not seen.
Annie, I miss you dearly,
I want you to know I can see more clearly.
Making progress every day,
So that I can be the way,
I want to be,
And in control of all of me.
Words cannot express, my dear sweet Annie,
How I miss you, With love, from Ali."
Art is My Sanity04062018
Art is my Sanity
"I take my medicine and go to therapy,
To try to gain some clarity,
Of who I am, how my brain works,
Sometimes thoughts seem like such a curse.
I try to stay really busy,
Sometimes I'm sent into a tizzy,
Of emotions, like waves- up and down,
It's so hard to come back around.
My life hasn't been the easiest,
But ever since I joined Deviant,
My artist's block has been lifted,
And I'm so grateful to be gifted,
With talents of self-expression,
Now art is again my obsession.
Helping me get to where I need to be,
Restoring me to sanity.
I don't know what I'd do without my passion,
I lost it once and went down crashing.
So good to stand up on my feet again,
Figure myself out and comprehend,
How my thoughts can be better,
I will never give up, ever,
To be the best version of myself I can be,
While painting the world metaphysically."
A Poem for My Love..04042018
"I don't know what to do,
But I'm sitting here with you.
We have the whole world to ourselves,
Just me and you- nobody else.
What will we do today?
I love when we laugh and play,
We'll never grow old.
The connection of our souls,
Is my favorite thing.
Taking time for healing.
We are the best of friends,
Together till and past the end.
We stop and smell the flowers,
Look into each other's eyes for hours.
Tell you "I love you" one million times,
Pour our passion into these rhymes.
I don't know what I would do without you,
I've never met another love so true.
You help me be a better person,
Put up with me when my symptoms worsen,
Getting me back to where I need to be,
As our hands fit together perfectly.
Thank you for being who you are,
I love how we've come so far."
Death is Not the EndDeath is Not the End
"And with her last breath, she exhaled..
In her body her soul no longer exists,
But that does not mean she ceased and desists.
No, we all float on,
Our light stays bright,
So let's sing a song,
For all those tonight,
Who's soul has slipped behind the veil.
They have not left us, no,
Look at the signs, they leave a trail,
Looking out for us as we go.
We could call them ghosts,
But really they are angels.
They lost their physical hosts,
Now they dance in the constellations.
We celebrate the lives of those passed,
It's hard not to miss them,
But now they have a happiness that will always last,
As death is not the end."