06282020 3:30 a.m.
"I have no one...
And that is the worst...
Filled with anxieties...
Filled till I burst...
And I never wanted...
No, I never meant...
To hurt anyone...
I do have regrets...
I'm not the person...
I would like to be...
You see a show...
That is not me...
Yeah, I can be happy...
And that's really great...
But my feelings of sadness...
Most could never relate...
I have no one to talk to...
No one to confide...
I walk all alone...
No one by my side...
And I honestly can't remember...
The last time I got a hug...
But all of this...
I just brush under the rug...
You probably don't know me....
I never gave you the chance...
For you would run away and leave me...
Never taking another glance..."
"Do you ever feel like such a burden?
Trying to love someone, only to hurt them?
And you're not even sure of what really happened..
All I know is that I'm very saddened..
And I've lost another friend..
This is always how it ends...
Forever broken, forever alone,
Never being able to handle being on my own..
I'm too needy,
Attached too easy..
I'm a lot to handle, I'm too much,
It's always this or that, or such and such...
I never meant to hurt anyone, ever..
But my personality is subconsciously clever..
Pushing everyone away..
Even after promising that they would stay..
Why do I always get my hopes up?
Why am I always in such a rush?
I wish all this madness would just end...
But I can't get this madness out of my head.."
"How did this happen?
I get so wrapped up in passion...
But now, I'm so depressed,
Mind such a mess,
I thought I did my best...
How did this happen?
My heart has been flattened..
Yet time and again,
This is always how it ends...
Why can't we just pretend...?
How could I not see this happening?
Was it all I was imagining?
I wish that everything was okay,
That I might not be in dismay..
Why do I always feel this way?
What can I do to make it better?
I do not want our ties to sever..
And I know this too shall pass,
I just wish I knew how long it would last...
Please forgive me for the mistakes of my past.."
"They live in the Rainbows...
They fly through the Skies....
We call them shooting stars...
They have no demise.
They only know of Joy...
They only know of Love...
Our sweet Angel Babies,
Watch over us Above...
They don't understand our pain,
But the Lord would never take them in vain...
They're growing up in the heavens,
The happiest place,
And one day, I promise,
You will see their face...
To all the Mommas out there,
Who've lost little ones-
Or adult children too,
Our daughters and sons...
We will be reunited,
With those we have lost
I know it's the hardest,
Just believe and trust...
It will take a lifetime,
It will seem li
Letters to Benjamin: Series #38..
"Dear Ben, it's seven a.m.,
And I find myself writing to you again,
It's been a while, I'm sorry, I know..
But I talk to you literally wherever I go.
I beg your advice, and listen intently,
I hear, from the heavens, a whisper gently,
You tell me not to worry, you tell me not to fret,
You warn me against doing things that I might regret..
You always had a way of reaching me,
You always truly understood a little differently,
I didn't know how strongly you could relate,
How could this possibly be your fate?
I miss you more than anything, ever,
A bond between brother & sister will never sever.
For not even death can keep us apart,
You are in my memories, thoughts, and heart.
But it's sad, heart-breaking, I'll sing the most tragic song,
I can't help but to feel that this is where you belong,
But I've searched every crowd, every face, high & low,
Shouted from the mountaintops, 'Where did you go??'
I can hear your laugh, see you gesture, see your
Letters to Benjamin:
"I have to see you in my dreams now,
Constantly replaying the memories,
I pray to never forget these adventures,
To always remember them, please..
I could use your guidance,
I wish that we could talk..
I would like to think that,
Our conversations never stopped..
I see the signs you leave for me,
There is no doubt in that,
I believe you are helping me,
No one can sway me from that fact..
You help me to battle demons,
The ones plaguing my thoughts,
For you know what it's like,
To be so sad & distraught..
And I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry,
That you knew of this pain,
Leading to problems..
All of these things
come to me naturally..
And I can't help,
that I've been through so much,
And you, I will probably,
'Cause I can't even,
Let alone trying,
To trust anyone else..
I wish I wasn't
I wish I could pull myself
From this rut...
My creativity & motivation,
Have been slow,
Not doing projects,
No art flow..
And that gets me,
How do I,
Turn this around?
I've been saying the same thing,
Over the years,
My decisions always,
Bring me to tears..
And I can't cry,
Or I ge
Letters to Benjamin..
"If I could only catch a rainbow,
I know I'd find you there..
Reminding us to 'Follow Our Bliss'
Free, without a care..
I miss you,
but I know you're with me,
No one can see,
It's true that,
Life goes on eternally..
If I could only catch a rainbow,
I could catch a glimpse of you,
The happiest of memories come flooding back,
From all that we've been through..
'Cause me and you,
Were the best of friends,
Blood and loyal,
Till the end,
You are still the best,
My brother, Ben..
If I could only catch a rainbow,
While the colors glitter &
Letters to Benjamin Series #35
"My very dearest Benjamin,
I find myself writing to you again,
I wish I could talk to you, I need advice,
This is not easy, this thing called life..
I've been running into so many liars,
They've been sucking me dry- spiritual vampires,
Everyone leaves me, it's very true,
Everyone leaves me- and that's including you..
And I'm not mad or angry- no,
But certain people must get up & go,
Go on, get out, out of my life..
I do not need your drama, I do not need your strife.
I think you would agree with me, Ben,
That these people are no good for me in the end..
And even though I come to that conclusion,
Hey Everyone! I wouldn't usually hype my own work up... but I haven't been on in so long!!! I would love you to check out my latest three photography works (they are mature content self portrait slightly covered nudes) It would mean the world to me
So uh.... Questions to all my fellow DA Artists!! And I might be a bit embarrassed to admit this... but... did any one else make a TikTok account during quarantine? :laughing: So... I totally did.. and let me know if you did too, and we should be
I haven't practiced art... it's really sad actually... I have lots of time.. but I've not got motivation nor ideas. I don't know if it's this global pandemic getting to me.. I've been very anxious & depressed.. I've spoken with my psychiatrist about ...
devart Can you please help me... this dude has been stalking me, I blocked him on mutiple accounts... his other username is.... footfetishman... he is coming now to my page to harass me, stalk me, and try to embarrass me.... please help!!!!!
Please, DA, this man 100% went against DeviantArt community ettiquitte standards & degraded me- belittling me- revealing "potentially personal embarrassing information", he spoke poorly of MY MENTAL HEALTH, I truly believe this is a digusting version of basically hate speech & bullying, and not allowed!!!!
Moonbeam13 I am so sorry to bother you... I have tried to flag this comment as spam... I have tried to put in a help ticket... It's been 10 days & I have not received any help with this man's harassment.... I thought core members are supposed to have prioritized customer service? Please read what has been said to me.. it is quite uncalled for!