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About Varied / Professional Albena NikolovaFemale/Bulgaria Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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Statistics 603 Deviations 320 Comments 35,539 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Le Violon d'Ingres by Alharaca Le Violon d'Ingres :iconalharaca:Alharaca 4 0 Broken by Alharaca Broken :iconalharaca:Alharaca 5 1 Psycho by Alharaca Psycho :iconalharaca:Alharaca 0 0 Autopsia di un amore by Alharaca Autopsia di un amore :iconalharaca:Alharaca 1 0 Addio by Alharaca Addio :iconalharaca:Alharaca 0 0 Snow White by Alharaca Snow White :iconalharaca:Alharaca 2 0 Fish the moon by Alharaca Fish the moon :iconalharaca:Alharaca 1 0 Unexpected by Alharaca Unexpected :iconalharaca:Alharaca 1 0 Lonely mountains by Alharaca Lonely mountains :iconalharaca:Alharaca 3 0 Kryziu kalnas infrared by Alharaca Kryziu kalnas infrared :iconalharaca:Alharaca 0 2 Pinkland by Alharaca Pinkland :iconalharaca:Alharaca 2 1 Infrared tree 2 by Alharaca Infrared tree 2 :iconalharaca:Alharaca 1 0 Infrared tree 1 by Alharaca Infrared tree 1 :iconalharaca:Alharaca 1 0 New Frontiers by Alharaca New Frontiers :iconalharaca:Alharaca 3 0 Snow by Alharaca Snow :iconalharaca:Alharaca 1 0 Parco degli acquedotti by Alharaca Parco degli acquedotti :iconalharaca:Alharaca 1 0

Random Favourites

Top hat on a tree by MaggieBebbe Top hat on a tree :iconmaggiebebbe:MaggieBebbe 128 77 Spider Lomography by Iambillslefthand Spider Lomography :iconiambillslefthand:Iambillslefthand 8 4 Circus Songs by iNeedChemicalX Circus Songs :iconineedchemicalx:iNeedChemicalX 1,410 186 my last sunset in Varna by Korni my last sunset in Varna :iconkorni:Korni 13 17 Shhh...dont speak by Korni Shhh...dont speak :iconkorni:Korni 15 2 the moon is calling me by Korni the moon is calling me :iconkorni:Korni 5 4 worthless by Korni worthless :iconkorni:Korni 7 9 the old fisherman and the sea by Korni the old fisherman and the sea :iconkorni:Korni 12 8 place where old sculptor works by foximilq place where old sculptor works :iconfoximilq:foximilq 9 3 denizinkaranligindabirbalik by melige denizinkaranligindabirbalik :iconmelige:melige 17 3 Tigris by Lilyas Tigris :iconlilyas:Lilyas 1,581 76


  • Listening to: Buckethead
  • Eating: Bread
  • Drinking: Beer
I remember the tranquility.
   Two chords of silence.
   Very Van Gogh - fields and sky.
   I was looking at the sunflowers and couldn't decide whether the artirst has used them for models or they have grown by his paintings. Sitting, thinking: "Yes, he has achieved the absolute tone. He has taken it right from their leaves. He hasn't painted the sunflowers, he lived them..." I spread the moment along the highway. The white houses flew like jazz. The road was implacable, that's exactly what I needed. It just continued. The driver pulled down the window pane. Summer entered. I was sitting there, at my place in the Universe, I wanted this painting, I wanted life. Only the seconds streamed down my body. There was no absurd, there were no humans. Only poetry... Poetry of life. Why can't we live? My grief is immense. Like an animal in a cage... Every day.
   My poetry is still prose. Words frighten. They confuse me. I want to know everything. I don't know whether I'll be able to bear it...
   At noon only the flies are humming. Heat floats in the air.
   I am looking. I see everything. Don't want to be a part of it. I can't reach the humans. Nobody listens to me. They want me to lie to them. I lie to them.
   Feels like somebody already has written 21st century. A very worthless writer. Or just the production is worthless.
   I know when tears come.
   Kurt Vonnegut died. I felt his death. Felt like somebody tore a page of his book. Awful sound. Very inevitable.
   They tell me: "Something happens to you again". They don't want me TO BE.
   I have no idea what I am doing here. I do things that I can't. Not only don't want to - I can't. Absurd is inevitable.
   I used to live with one person. A few months we were looking at life together. We travelled a lot. I only pray that he'll leave the door open.
   I don't know what love looks like. I can't remember. Maybe I have never seen it. Or I got confused and forgot it. Usually I have already missed the deadline. I learned to exist termlessly. I think that people don't know love either, otherwise everybody would have been dead.
   I'm standing on the border between two worlds. I'm thinking how I don't belong to the first one but I'm afraid to pass over the other.
   Provocation tempts me less and less. They hurt me again, anyway. There are no more duels. I am so tired...
   Literature is no longer literature. Things lose their contour.
   Night is too short - this is awfully unfair. I can't hack it.
   Fate stuck its irony into my face in defiance of  my announcement that I don't believe in it.
   I see smiles. I provoke smiles. Nobody gives the gesture back.
   Everybody is relating me about the pain. I know the story. I wrote the book.
   I know how people leave.
   Van Gogh along the highway. A fire in the night. Salvador Dali in the sky. This is what keeps me here. Nobody wants to see it. I'm walking in the gallery alone.
   Forgive me, Mister Writer, I ruined everything. This is why I can't afford poetry. I don't like to write, I want to feel.


Albena Nikolova
Artist | Professional | Varied
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I.

Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame and all it's decadence...

Current Residence: Rome, Italy
Favourite genre of music: Jazz, Rock, Indie, Alternative, Britpop
Favourite photographer: Man Ray, Duane Michals, Zdravko Nikolov
Favourite style of art: Impressionism, Surrealism, Pop Surrealism, Art Nouveau
Personal Quote: Hello, you've reached the winter of our discontent!


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JaKlaRo Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I used some of your stocks here: Cracked
Thank you.
Cissy-Kitsune23 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2013   Digital Artist
Hey used your scarf texture 2 here
Thanks for the awesome texture!
linacatrina Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Hey hey! (:

Used  your  wall texture here!
Thank you for this great texture! :heart:

padwane Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the fav :hug:
Social-Misfit Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Happy birthday! :hug: :dance:
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